Non-Baby-Centric Gifts for New Parents

February 20, 2023 7:45 PM

My friend and his wife just became new parents. They are also moving to another city soon. So next time I visit I would like to give them a parting gift that also serve as a celebration of their new life phase.

They are already inundated with baby stuff so I am less interested in giving them something directly related to rearing their kid. Rather I am looking for ideas for gifts that are more focused on the care and feeding of the new parents. What are some items you really appreciated receiving and having for yourself when you became new parents? I would like to keep the budget <$100 if possible.

posted by Pantalaimon to Human Relations (16 answers total)

My favorite gifts included: gift cards for coffee, a nice body oil, nursing pajamas, gift cards for pedicures, etc. A friend of mine sent me a gift box with the pajamas and body oil, and included some Milano cookies and other little treats. I was so excited to get that box! Another friend of mine routinely gave me $50 coffee cards to my favorite coffee place each time I had a baby. That was much appreciated, especially when I already had a little one at home.
posted by I_love_the_rain at 7:51 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]

Edibles.
posted by aramaic at 8:06 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]

Just a note, most nursing mothers of newborns aren't going to want cannabis in their breastmilk.
posted by ojocaliente at 8:10 PM on February 20, 2023 [13 favorites]

Starbucks card. They have plenty of stuff other than coffee and even if she is nursing it's wonderful to have free treats.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:12 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]

I wanted dinner delivered whenever possible. Gift card to a relatively healthy but delicious local restaurant that delivered was super appreciated and is good for both parents to enjoy together.
posted by ojocaliente at 8:15 PM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]

A good bag messenger-quality bag that isn’t a baby bag. Something you can go incognito with as far as it being filled with snacks and diapers and that enables hands-free access. We still use ours years later because it doesn’t have baby ducks on it. Now it is filled with Pokémon cards. Try Topo or Timbuktu depending upon taste.
posted by chuke at 8:42 PM on February 20, 2023

Money.
posted by Ideefixe at 8:52 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]

A cleaning service. There’s nothing worse than watching the house descend into hell while being too exhausted and sleep deprived to be able to do anything about it. Especially when you have visitors there to see the baby that you feel like you have to clean for.
posted by Jubey at 9:12 PM on February 20, 2023 [11 favorites]

If they’re about to move to a new city, I would arrange delivery for them from a favorite restaurant in their current city that isn’t on delivery apps or maybe doesn’t normally do takeout. Getting out during the newborn phase is really hard and I would be sad to miss the chance to say goodbye to my favorite restaurants!
posted by MadamM at 11:27 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]

Food. Everyone descends when baby is a newborn and then it gets hard a few months later (hello four month regression) and by then you're supposed to have it all handled.

So I'd split your gift, something now, something in about 4 months.
posted by freethefeet at 11:29 PM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]

Second gift vouchers for food delivery, money is tight when people are on parental leave and so it's hard to splash out while simultaneously hard work to cook all the time.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 4:17 AM on February 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

A subscription to care.com so they can find babysitters when they're ready to take a break.

A night nurse or doula.

Wash/dry/fold pick-up laundry service.

(Do not be like my former colleague who, in a well meaning way, got my colleague and his wife a craft beer subscription.)
posted by redlines at 7:06 AM on February 21, 2023 [2 favorites]

What was most helpful to us, hands-down, was food and laundry. Next up, cleaning. New parents struggle to do the absolute most basic things, like sleep (nothing you can do about that), eat (you can help with this), have clean underwear (you can also help with this), nevermind the toilet getting cleaned (you can also help with this!). Everything else is extra.

And, uh, definitely no substances - assuming your friends will not be feeding their baby 100% formula, alcohol and cannabis won't be a part of either of their lives for awhile.
posted by epanalepsis at 7:17 AM on February 21, 2023 [3 favorites]

Definitely food. You can get something more long-lasting too if you wish, but food is #1 in those days, by a long shot. If cooking skills/eating restrictions allow, a homecooked meal is extra wonderful (we were so grateful for the person who brought us a huge meal with containers of veggies, rice and curry). Filling things they can eat instantly are really nice to have around, unless they've already stocked up on that stuff. I normally don't like pasta salad much but someone brought us a huge container and it was really helpful to be able to grab a few bites at a time of something more substantial than a granola bar.

Delivery cards would have been nice too but they don't get you much for the cost (although that can make them an extra nice treat for parents who are too frugal/limited income to get delivery otherwise).

I'd check in with them first for any cleaning-related stuff - they may already have help with that, and/or may not want anyone else in the house during those early days. Also, most cleaning can be ignored for a while, but eating can't. Bring food.
posted by randomnity at 7:26 AM on February 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Send them food, or gift cards for food. Not planning+shopping+cooking is such a savings of mental energy with a new kid in the house, whether it's the first/only or one of a few.

They'll probably be in kind of Survival Mode for a while yet -- don't take it personally. One of those framed prints of their old state/town and the new one, to remind them of absent friends, might be nice to show that you'll be thinking of them. (I mean, as long as you actually stay in touch!)

And when you go visit, bring work clothes and do practical things like wash dishes, fold laundry, and baby-sit while they run boring, child-free errands. And take picture of them both with the kid(s), because right now it's one of them or the other in all the photos.

(You're awesome for supporting your friends during a difficult time!)
posted by wenestvedt at 8:04 AM on February 21, 2023 [2 favorites]

This might sound unintelligible if you haven't had a newborn, but if you go for cleaning service, make sure it's actually something they want, or something they can use later. In the early days, it's sometimes actually harder to move all your stuff out of the way and be ready to make yourselves scarce for a cleaning service at a specific appointment time when you might want to be taking a nap right then. And - some people with teeny newborns have very specific feelings about what kinds of cleaning products and masked vs unmasked workers in their personal space and whatever other standard stuff is used by a cleaning service. It was not what I wanted for at least a few months. However, my best friend coming over and doing laundry and mopping with my own mop and washing her hands when I told her to five times in a row was gold.
posted by ojocaliente at 9:25 AM on February 21, 2023 [3 favorites]