songs in honor of a good friend

February 20, 2023 11:07 AM

One of my closest friends is moving to Florida and there is going to be a good bye party. We're part of a big music community so there's gonna be some songs being sung. Help me pick a song I can do in his honor. More inside.

Let's call my friend Oscar.

Oscar and I met playing in bar bands - he's a drummer and pianist, I am a bass player and vocalist.

Things to know about Oscar in general:

1) He is a bombastic, prickly, kind hearted grump
2) He is an attorney and did a few tours in the Foreign Service before working in NYC.
3) Before he retired he was unofficially known in the legal community in as "the biggest prick of a litigator on the island of Manhattan"
4) He is very proud of item #3
5) He used to date Patti Scialfa (she left him for Bruce Springsteen)
6) When asked about #5 he says "Who could blame her, I'd leave me for Bruce Springsteen too!"
7) He's a bleeding heart liberal in a very punk rock way and probably the smartest guy I know

Things to know about me and Oscar:

1) He and I became close friends outside of music when he came out of retirement briefly to help me with a really ugly situation involving me being harassed out of my apartment by a psychotic landlord and an ensuing spurious lawsuit which aggravated my CPTSD; after nearly a year of sparring with the landlord's attorney he basically scared them off and they dropped the suit, he helped me get treatment for the severe anxiety disorder I developed due to this situation
2) He's helped me with a couple of small claims issues I've handled on my own and a situation where I pursued legal action against someone who plagiarized my academic work; he's essentially my personal attorney
3) He is my dad's age but unlike my dad he isn't an emotionally abusive narcissist; over the years he's become a sane, safe father figure to me
4) He loves my SO but has made it clear that if my SO ever hurts me he will have hell to pay (see above re: surrogate dad)
5) He was the only person who came to say goodbye to SO and I in person when we relocated from the Hudson Valley further upstate. Granted this was still in the midst of the pandemic but still, it meant a lot to us after a year of isolation from our community due to lockdown.

Oscar has been having health issues for years and at this point the cold winters of New York state are making things worse for him. He and his partner have been debating whether to move to Florida and after a test run this past winter living with her niece in Palm Beach today they have officially decided to pull the trigger.

There will be a good bye party for Oscar thrown by our music community and I will be driving down to attend. It's going to be a boozy gig. I would like to perform a song at this event in his honor.

What would be a good song to do for a guy like this? I'm at a loss. When I think of the music he likes best it ranges from The Ramones to Iggy to the Stones to Chuck Berry to yes, his former romantic rival Bruce Springsteen. (He obviously doesn't hold a grudge.) My gut says The Stones or anything classic punk would be the way to go but there are just so many damn songs and I can't think of one that would sum up a guy like him. Do you have any suggestions?

It would have to be a song that is performable with just me and my BFF/band's lead guitarist as I don't have time to pull my whole band together for a rehearsal. Or it would have to be simple enough that my very experienced bass player and drummer could just "sit in" basically.

I'm not averse to a sentimental song but no ballads please. This needs to be loud and raucous.

Thanks.

posted by nayantara to Media & Arts (11 answers total)

Best answer: Does he like the Grateful Dead? Cassidy is nearly perfect to see a friend/mentor off. If you look closely it's about Neal Cassady's death vs. the birth of a child named Cassidy in their circle, but it's definitely an upbeat song and the lyrics are all about connection and seeing a remarkable man ride off into the sunset.
posted by headnsouth at 11:36 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]

For some reason, Almost Cut My Hair by CSNY comes to mind.
posted by repoman at 11:53 AM on February 20, 2023

Best answer: I don't know your vocal range, but just now I immediately started hearing Beyond the Yellow Brick Road in my head.
posted by amtho at 12:15 PM on February 20, 2023

Best answer: You would know better than I would how a cover of "My Way" in the style of Sid Vicious would land, but it strikes me as an option that might do the job
posted by potrzebie at 12:30 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]

Yeah I agree with headnsouth that Cassidy is perfect! But if not, reading your description reminded me immediately of Joni Mitchell's Carey . It's both poignant and celebratory in JM's fashion and about change and has a raucous potential. But the reason your post reminded me of this song is because Oscar's a mean old daddy and you like him.
posted by ojocaliente at 12:31 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]

it might be a bit "too soon" with the passing of Taylor Hawkins, but I'm stuck on the Foo Fighters' "my hero"
posted by adekllny at 12:41 PM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]

joey ramone's wonderful world
posted by j_curiouser at 1:02 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]

When I hear Florida, I think "Golden Girls". Could you punk up the theme song?

He sounds like the Dorothy of your community.
posted by Sauter Vaguely at 2:06 PM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: When I think of the music he likes best it ranges from The Ramones to Iggy to the Stones to Chuck Berry to yes, his former romantic rival Bruce Springsteen. (He obviously doesn't hold a grudge.)

Acknowledging the elephant in the room that's saying that Glory Days is sitting right there.

But - for some reason I'm thinking Tom Waits' "I Don't Wanna Grow Up", either Waits' original or the way the Ramones covered it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:36 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]

Best answer: If he likes the Stones and Bruce, he'd like Jonathan Tyler - Old Friend

"some day these days will be worth remembering".

Turnpike Troubadours - Pay No Rent
This one is about the singer's grandmother, but it's also about friendship, and the specific person is never mentioned.

Also, if you want a song he would already know, then I recommend Rocks Off by the Rolling Stones.
"Is he checking out for sure, is he going to close the door on me?"

or:
Growing Up by Springsteen
"I hid in the clouded wrath of the crowd But when they said 'sit down' I stood up Ooh-ohh ooh hoo growin' up"
but it has a lot of lyrics to memorize.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:47 AM on February 21, 2023

I'm way too close to St. Paddy's Day to offer anything but a lot of Irish-inspired stuff

sounds like your friend is a scrapper in the best possible way, I Had a Hat is a wonderful fightin song

Heave Away was the goal song for Team Canada during the World Juniors

good luck, it'll be a good ol' party
posted by elkevelvet at 11:30 AM on February 21, 2023