Northern VA/MD/DC area housing help please!

February 1, 2023 9:03 AM

My friend is about to separate from her partner and will need her own place --- within a reasonable distance (1 hr?, maybe 2?) from Herndon, VA, where they currently live. They have two kids and will have some form of joint custody.

Is there anywhere that meets the following criteria:
- reasonably priced (maybe under $2000 for a 2 bedroom apt. (I know prices here are nuts)
- has a walkable core, so that she could run basic errands from home without using the car
- is liberal and open to queer families, maybe even has an actual queer community

Also, is it such a horrid time to get a mortgage (worth renting even if rent would be similar to mortgage payments)?

Thank MeFi!

posted by quiet wanderer to Home & Garden (15 answers total)

She could look into Frederick, MD or Shepherdstown WV. depending on her income, there are apts inBethesda that might work. Did some searching on Zillow just now and lot of the 2k less places are not nice.
posted by sandmanwv at 9:28 AM on February 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Don't know about Maryland but you're not hitting a sub-$2000 walkable community in Virginia until you get to Richmond or maybe one of the mountain college towns, maybe Charlottesville, maaaaaaaybe Fredericksburg. I don't think any of these places would be outright unfriendly to a queer family but the bigger the city, the more potential dates.

Honestly, if she's willing to drive to the grocery store the options increase dramatically.
posted by kingdead at 9:29 AM on February 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Side note: Please encourage her to confirm with her own lawyer that it is legally advisable for her to move out of state (with or without the children). The laws vary from state to state. Taking children out of state, or even outside a certain radius, leading up to or during a divorce may not be allowed, or may be penalized after the fact as abandonment (especially in a contentious divorce), and affect the custody arrangements she's hoping for.
posted by cocoagirl at 10:23 AM on February 1, 2023 [9 favorites]

Best answer: I used to live in Chantilly, in an apartment complex next to a shopping center that has a grocery store. About two years ago I was paying $1700 for a 2 bedroom. It's not really a community as such, but it was a decent place to live. (It's also on a bus line.)
posted by shiny blue object at 10:24 AM on February 1, 2023

She should absolutely check with her attorney about the parameters but I strongly suggest she try to find a place (even if small) very near the other residence and/or schools, so as to minimize disruption and drive-time for the kids.
posted by nkknkk at 10:59 AM on February 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

She's probably eager to start her new life on her terms, but the smart play is probably a place in Herndon just far enough that she's not going to the same grocery store as the ex. I wouldn't add in an hour schlep in traffic across the mega-region if the custody arrangement hasn't been established.

To answer your actual question - you won't get full walkability. Partial walkability - walking to some things depending on where you live - can be found in Silver Spring MD, Takoma Park MD, Takoma DC, Shepherd Park, DC, Route 1 Corridor (Mt Rainier MD, Brentwood MD, Hyattsville MD, Greenbelt MD).
posted by everythings_interrelated at 11:13 AM on February 1, 2023 [4 favorites]

Best answer: It’s totally fine to get a mortgage right now. Interest rates are still low compared to much of historical averages, just not as absurdly low as they were last year.
posted by Bottlecap at 11:14 AM on February 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: She will want to consider the logistics of transporting the kids back and forth between parents. I'm not going to discount Maryland absolutely, but you know this area can be a pain, traffic wise, and going to Maryland from N. VA is not always easy to do. If she hunts around, and is willing to compromise a bit, the criteria as stated can work almost anywhere in N. VA, but she may indeed want to stay in the Herndon area for the moment. I'm thinking there might be some options in Reston as well. She can look for things advertised as 1 bedroom plus studio, not just 2 bedroom, for additional options.

As an example, here is a 2 bedroom close in in Arlington/Rosslyn Courthouse area for $2200. The upside, very blue/LGBTQ friendly area, close to DC, lots of transit, very walkable to many amenities including multiple grocery stores, but still fairly quiet; garden apartment so there is outside space for the kids to play; playgrounds close by. The downside - there are laundry rooms rather than washer/dryer in the unit; street parking, no designated parking place.
posted by gudrun at 12:11 PM on February 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Depending on the legal/custody issues, your friend may be able to find affordable housing/blue area/walkability in Baltimore County, with good freeway access. Look at real estate in Catonsville, Arbutus, Halethorpe.
posted by champers at 12:17 PM on February 1, 2023

Is the separation at amicable? Could the couple consider birdnest custody, where the kids stay put and the parents go back and forth. That might allow your friend to get a cheaper, smaller studio apartment close to where the kids are now.

I have known couples who also trade off time in the extra apartment to save on overall housing costs, but your friend might want at least something that is completely their own space.
posted by brookeb at 1:57 PM on February 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: With all due respect, I think it'll be very hard to find a two-bedroom for $2000 because that's the lowest price for a one-bedroom in much of Fairfax County. There has been a huge price hike in rent these past two years, unfortunately. Shepherdstown is quite expensive these days but you could probably find a place at that price in the greater Shenandoah Valley, although it's much less queer friendly on the whole than places closer to DC. Frederick is very nice but also expensive. Harrisonburg has ups and downs but has the college town vibe. There's always Richmond, Fredericksburg, and Charlottesville (pros and cons to all) if two hours isn't too far. In Maryland I'm a fan of PG County like Hyattsville and Brentwood, and it's a bit less expensive than the NOVA suburbs.
posted by smorgasbord at 2:34 PM on February 1, 2023

Best answer: Don't know about Maryland but you're not hitting a sub-$2000 walkable community in Virginia until you get to Richmond or maybe one of the mountain college towns, maybe Charlottesville, maaaaaaaybe Fredericksburg. I don't think any of these places would be outright unfriendly to a queer family but the bigger the city, the more potential dates.
( and others)

it is hard to find sub-2k in the area but it can be done. I'm in a 2 bedroom condo, first floor, near Old Town Alexandria at $1700. When searching I found a few places in actual Old Town, for under 2k.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 7:48 PM on February 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

A quick search on Zillow
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 7:52 PM on February 1, 2023

I just wanted to note that the Zillow search above includes criteria that leave you with no results, but there are actually lots of sub-$2,000 2-bedroom apartments in the region, in the interest of avoiding adding any unnecessary discouragement to the mix.
posted by reren at 9:27 PM on February 1, 2023

Best answer: I agree that it’s good to be hopeful but with the caveat that a lot of the under 2k places get you in with a lower monthly rate but tack on all sorts of additional fees and jack up the rent the following year. This is what I’ve experienced in the region as have many friends and it sucks. Definitely a lot of shady management companies out there so the 38 pages of fine print are so important, as always and especially these days.
posted by smorgasbord at 2:56 PM on February 2, 2023