Is "whom" right here?
January 30, 2023 10:03 AM   Subscribe

"I'm looking forward to meeting you and potentially other members whom I may be helping."

It's for volunteering but I want it to be correct
posted by fantasticness to Writing & Language (18 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
You could drop the "who(m)" altogether and it would read fine to me. I love dodging annoying grammar quirks!
posted by humbug at 10:04 AM on January 30, 2023 [25 favorites]


Yes, "whom" is correct.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:07 AM on January 30, 2023 [12 favorites]


It is correct but, as in many cases where "whom" is correct, reads a little stiff and formal; I prefer the version with it dropped altogether as humbug suggests, and that's probably what I would do if I were editing this.
posted by babelfish at 10:07 AM on January 30, 2023 [13 favorites]


My understanding is that "whom" is for use when there is a singular person you are referring to. The rule I remember from English class is "if you would say him or her," then you can use "whom". So in this instance, your usage would be incorrect. All that said, it's perfectly acceptable in modern English to just use "who" in either instance.

ETA: A cursory google search tells me my English teacher was totally high when they gave me this rule, and the usage is actually re: subject/preposition.
posted by pazazygeek at 10:09 AM on January 30, 2023 [5 favorites]


I'm not a grammarian but I'd drop the m - it feels archaic given the context, babelfish has it - whom feels stiff & formal.
posted by unearthed at 10:10 AM on January 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


I think it's correct. I would keep it simpler and just say "I'm looking forward to meeting you and other members," though, if that's an option.
posted by pinochiette at 10:11 AM on January 30, 2023 [4 favorites]


Chiming in that, grammatically, “whom” is correct, because in this case it’s the direct object of “I may be helping.” But I also agree that it sounds very stiff and overly formal and dropping it altogether sounds much better.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 10:13 AM on January 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: A lot of people are saying to drop it, but I don't know how. Is it still correct to write- I look forward to meeting with you and potentially other members I may be supporting?
posted by fantasticness at 10:16 AM on January 30, 2023 [3 favorites]


You're there to meet the recipient of the letter, a person whose favor you hope to curry, not a bunch of randos who might not even be at the meeting.

"I look forward to meeting with you."
posted by box at 10:21 AM on January 30, 2023 [6 favorites]


Is it still correct to write- I look forward to meeting with you and potentially other members I may be supporting?

Absolutely. (I'd probably say "and any other members I may be supporting".)

The rule I remember from English class is "if you would say him or her,"

That's right but incomplete - it can also substitute for the plural ("them"). It's also an incomplete rule because it gets tricky when you have embedded constructions like in this example: you can't say "other members them I may be supporting" so it's not a straight substitution. So here you would turn the word order around and check if you would say "I may be supporting them" or "I may be supporting they".

ETA: A cursory google search tells me my English teacher was totally high when they gave me this rule, and the usage is actually re: subject/preposition.

They weren't high - me, him, her, us, them, and whom are all "object pronouns", used as direct objects and indirect objects, as well as after prepositions. I, he, she, we, they, and who are "subject pronouns", used as subjects of verbs.
posted by trig at 10:26 AM on January 30, 2023 [3 favorites]


The rule I remember from English class is "if you would say him or her," then you can use "whom". So in this instance, your usage would be incorrect.

The rule is actually, Ask who it's about. If the answer is him or her, it's whom. If it's he or she, it's who.

In this case:

"I'm looking forward to meeting you and potentially other members whom I may be helping." becomes "Who are you looking forward to meeting and helping?" Him or her, so whom.
posted by dobbs at 10:28 AM on January 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


The rule is actually, Ask who it's about.

Hilarious (in the context of this thread). Should be "ask whom it's about". You're never going to "ask he", so the usage should be "whom" here.

Pedantry is fun!
posted by jdroth at 10:34 AM on January 30, 2023 [9 favorites]


If I diagrammed this, and I didn't, I'd parse the structure of other members whom I may be helping as other members to whom I may be providing help.
I think whom is a pointless grammar artifact, avoid situations where it might be used, and usually just use who.

I have grammar cops in my life; they are so tiresome. I should start an anti-whom website. Wanna subscribe to my newletter?
posted by theora55 at 11:18 AM on January 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


Just for fun I did a google search for "ask whom it's about", and got back 5 results (including this one).

"Ask who it's about" gets me 2,250.

The grammar rule here is simple and logical and, in practice, produces results that will look weird to most readers. If you can't bear to break it, write around it somehow.
posted by bfields at 11:20 AM on January 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


Absolutely. (I'd probably say "and any other members I may be supporting".)

Yes, this. The complete sentence would be:

I look forward to meeting with you and any other members I may be supporting.
posted by aniola at 12:00 PM on January 30, 2023 [4 favorites]


Whom, but you don't really need to use whom because there isn't really a good reason to specifically distinguish the ones you will be helping from other ones ... in other words,

members who need my help seem to prefer X (they need my help, so "who"); and here you are stressing somewhat that this is about members needing your help, which may not be all members.

members whom I've helped seem to prefer X (I helped them, so whom); and again you are being specific that you know the preferences of the members you've helped, but not all members.

BUT, when you aren't trying to emphasis or distinguish a difference between those members and other members, there's usually no real reason to add the who or whom, when the rest of the sentence is clarifying.

For instance:

I'll be meeting later with some members I help.

Some members I help have decided to have a trivia night.

So, "I'd like to meet other members I may be helping" is fine and flows better, but if you are trying to distinguish between the person you are speaking with (who you won't be helping, say) and the members you might be helping, you can drop the "other" and say "I'm looking forward to meeting you and potentially some of the members I may be helping."
posted by taz at 12:19 PM on January 30, 2023


Hi. I'm a copy editor, if you'd like to hear from a so-called expert. As others are saying, whom is technically correct here, but also we're really moving away from it in modern writing (and in conversation for sure). I also like your new sentence with "supporting."

See also: A World Without Whom.
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:12 PM on January 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


Rewrite it.
"I'm looking forward to meeting you and potentially other members whom I may be helping."

"I am looking forward to meeting you and any other members who may need my help."
-- Who may need my help? He/she/they may need my help. --
posted by TrishaU at 5:34 AM on January 31, 2023 [1 favorite]


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