Tips and advice for ~4 months of isolated living?
January 17, 2023 3:08 AM Subscribe
I sustained an injury which will have me staying in my studio apartment alone for the next several months. Thankfully I can work remotely, but I live quite far from my closest friends and family. Looking for practical advice and/or reflections from people who have had similar experiences.
I will have surgery and then begin a recovery process that will be at least 4 months with most likely not leaving my studio apartment except for appointments. My doctors have me covered on medical questions, but I'm more worried about the mental health aspects.
The first week or two will be really isolated, so I am stocking up practical things and following doctor's advice for surgery recovery. After that, I will try and at least once a week invite a friend or two over to play some games or hang out. But, the vast, vast majority of the time I will be alone - and this is the part that I guess will be the most difficult. During early COVID, I also isolated for a few months, but with a partner and with the ability to exercise outside which helped me clear my head a lot. It's not an option to go somewhere where I'll be with friends/family due to costs. It looks like I will have some people visit me a few times, so that will be a nice reprieve throughout the recovery. It's also not an option to exercise in any significant way.
I have lots of things I'd like to work on - reading some books, learning some skills, etc., but I find it very hard to be focused on anything when I already sit at a desk working 8 hours and then don't have any reprieve of going to exercise or meet up with someone (these are things that really help reset my energy / mood, I find).
My main plan is to socialize a lot by phone each evening, maybe join some online meetings/groups on meetup.com for topics I'm interested in, maybe do some online gaming with a few distant friends. But would love any other tips or stories of your experiences in similar situations. Thanks in advance.
(Posting anon because I'd like to avoid linking this to my account and having people close to me worry)
I will have surgery and then begin a recovery process that will be at least 4 months with most likely not leaving my studio apartment except for appointments. My doctors have me covered on medical questions, but I'm more worried about the mental health aspects.
The first week or two will be really isolated, so I am stocking up practical things and following doctor's advice for surgery recovery. After that, I will try and at least once a week invite a friend or two over to play some games or hang out. But, the vast, vast majority of the time I will be alone - and this is the part that I guess will be the most difficult. During early COVID, I also isolated for a few months, but with a partner and with the ability to exercise outside which helped me clear my head a lot. It's not an option to go somewhere where I'll be with friends/family due to costs. It looks like I will have some people visit me a few times, so that will be a nice reprieve throughout the recovery. It's also not an option to exercise in any significant way.
I have lots of things I'd like to work on - reading some books, learning some skills, etc., but I find it very hard to be focused on anything when I already sit at a desk working 8 hours and then don't have any reprieve of going to exercise or meet up with someone (these are things that really help reset my energy / mood, I find).
My main plan is to socialize a lot by phone each evening, maybe join some online meetings/groups on meetup.com for topics I'm interested in, maybe do some online gaming with a few distant friends. But would love any other tips or stories of your experiences in similar situations. Thanks in advance.
(Posting anon because I'd like to avoid linking this to my account and having people close to me worry)
Tell all your friends who you have a texting/slack/discord/sharing memes type of relationship with about your situation, and ask them to reach out to you often post-surgery and start conversations, share funny or light stuff, and generally let you know they're thinking about you and hoping you're recovering well.
I had minor surgery in 2019, had a bad reaction mental-health wise to the anaesthetic, didn't receive a lot of reachouts from friends during that period (because I tend to downplay my own stuff and I'm not generally comfortable asking for what I need from other people), and it put me in a really bad headspace. I ended up blowing up a friendship over what I perceived from that sad lonely place as the friend not caring enough about me to ask how I was doing after surgery.
I have another surgery coming up this April and I will be telling EVERYONE in my life about it, that I want to hear from them, that I'd appreciate any memes and cute animal pics and questions about my recovery and info about how their lives are going, so that I don't fall into that sad lonely hole again.
Don't be like me in 2019! Your ideas for arranging in-person socialising are good, but tell everyone to keep checking in on you electronically as well. Even one or two texts a day the week after surgery would have made a huge, huge difference to how isolated and unloved I was feeling, and in the grand scheme of things that's a pretty low & achievable amount of care to ask for from people who love you.
posted by terretu at 4:29 AM on January 17, 2023 [11 favorites]
I had minor surgery in 2019, had a bad reaction mental-health wise to the anaesthetic, didn't receive a lot of reachouts from friends during that period (because I tend to downplay my own stuff and I'm not generally comfortable asking for what I need from other people), and it put me in a really bad headspace. I ended up blowing up a friendship over what I perceived from that sad lonely place as the friend not caring enough about me to ask how I was doing after surgery.
I have another surgery coming up this April and I will be telling EVERYONE in my life about it, that I want to hear from them, that I'd appreciate any memes and cute animal pics and questions about my recovery and info about how their lives are going, so that I don't fall into that sad lonely hole again.
Don't be like me in 2019! Your ideas for arranging in-person socialising are good, but tell everyone to keep checking in on you electronically as well. Even one or two texts a day the week after surgery would have made a huge, huge difference to how isolated and unloved I was feeling, and in the grand scheme of things that's a pretty low & achievable amount of care to ask for from people who love you.
posted by terretu at 4:29 AM on January 17, 2023 [11 favorites]
Keep a schedule. That's the biggest one. Have daily rituals, go to bed and get up at roughly the same time every day. Have a longer term project, like a jigsaw puzzle.
Get outside every day. Eat reasonably and regularly.
posted by Dashy at 4:53 AM on January 17, 2023 [8 favorites]
Get outside every day. Eat reasonably and regularly.
posted by Dashy at 4:53 AM on January 17, 2023 [8 favorites]
Will you have access to any outdoor space at all? I think even just siting outside and gazing at the clouds would be helpful. If you can't sit outside, do you have a window that will let you get sun and fresh air?
posted by Constance Mirabella at 5:31 AM on January 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Constance Mirabella at 5:31 AM on January 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Friends can only satisfy some of your need to connect. Find groups online that are dedicated to your kind of health issue. Others who are stuck at home will *always* understand, commiserate and brainstorm with you, and you can dump your grievances there so when your friends visit, you can actually enjoy the time together. Many groups now include docs/nurses/PTs etc. in that specialty which is great for questions that don't merit a copay.
For your friends IRL, be sure that you are also checking in with, supporting, and interested in them. Let their visits be at least partly about their weekend shenanigans or the annoying person they work with or endless pics of their cat.
Seconding sticking to a routine and getting outside. Even if you're just sitting on the front stoop, get outside every day. Keep it interesting by taking a picture every day, like Harvey Keitel in Smoke. Exercise to the point you can - walking around the block, doing planks while watching TV, yoga or stretching, etc. Whatever you can do, do it. Inertia is a bear and you want to be ready to go when your docs say you can.
Make your hobbies/learning new things/pastimes purposeful. I bludged my way through all the 80s movies but I really wish I'd spent that time scanning my kids' pre-digital photos or relearning piano.
Find a creative way to express yourself and document this period in your life. I posted a blank sheet on the fridge where I wrote down things I wanted to do after cancer. Nothing epic, just dinner at a new restaurant, a sunrise hike on my favorite trail, etc. During COVID I started writing daily Ginsberg haikus (17 syllables but all on one line) - the brain power involved in distilling the day's experience/emotions/etc. into 17 sensible, meaningful syllables was therapeutic and scratched a creative itch.
Best of luck - feel free to memail me to gripe anytime if you like!
posted by headnsouth at 5:54 AM on January 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
For your friends IRL, be sure that you are also checking in with, supporting, and interested in them. Let their visits be at least partly about their weekend shenanigans or the annoying person they work with or endless pics of their cat.
Seconding sticking to a routine and getting outside. Even if you're just sitting on the front stoop, get outside every day. Keep it interesting by taking a picture every day, like Harvey Keitel in Smoke. Exercise to the point you can - walking around the block, doing planks while watching TV, yoga or stretching, etc. Whatever you can do, do it. Inertia is a bear and you want to be ready to go when your docs say you can.
Make your hobbies/learning new things/pastimes purposeful. I bludged my way through all the 80s movies but I really wish I'd spent that time scanning my kids' pre-digital photos or relearning piano.
Find a creative way to express yourself and document this period in your life. I posted a blank sheet on the fridge where I wrote down things I wanted to do after cancer. Nothing epic, just dinner at a new restaurant, a sunrise hike on my favorite trail, etc. During COVID I started writing daily Ginsberg haikus (17 syllables but all on one line) - the brain power involved in distilling the day's experience/emotions/etc. into 17 sensible, meaningful syllables was therapeutic and scratched a creative itch.
Best of luck - feel free to memail me to gripe anytime if you like!
posted by headnsouth at 5:54 AM on January 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Sorry you are dealing with this. I'm immunocompromised and have been very isolated for some time now. Here are a few things that have helped me.
I'm not great at keeping to a schedule, so I have a list of small things I do every day so that I feel like I'm accomplishing something: 10 minutes of vocal exercises, 15 minutes of practicing piano, grip-strengthening exercises with these things. For me, this is a paper list that I literally make check marks on - something else may work for you. For bigger things (in my case, writing, cleaning, exercise), I give myself stickers on a calendar. I even have different stickers for different tasks (penguins for cleaning, owls for writing). Having a physical way of noting I've done something makes it feel more like an accomplishment to me. I like looking at my calendar and seeing all the stickers.
Also, I recently decided to make a rule that I don't look at screens when I'm eating. At first, I didn't know what to do with myself, and I listened to podcasts instead, but now I am fine just focusing on my food and having time to think. I think this has really helped my mood in general. I feel less like I'm just watching my life slip away. I think looking at screens a lot can feel isolating in itself.
I'm in an online support group for my illness, and I'd call it a mixed bag. It is nice to have contact with people who are going through the same thing, and I've definitely learned some things about available meds and coping strategies. But I've also had to take breaks from it - I guess it's like any online community that way. I found mine through smartpatients.com, which has groups for many different conditions.
posted by FencingGal at 6:22 AM on January 17, 2023 [6 favorites]
I'm not great at keeping to a schedule, so I have a list of small things I do every day so that I feel like I'm accomplishing something: 10 minutes of vocal exercises, 15 minutes of practicing piano, grip-strengthening exercises with these things. For me, this is a paper list that I literally make check marks on - something else may work for you. For bigger things (in my case, writing, cleaning, exercise), I give myself stickers on a calendar. I even have different stickers for different tasks (penguins for cleaning, owls for writing). Having a physical way of noting I've done something makes it feel more like an accomplishment to me. I like looking at my calendar and seeing all the stickers.
Also, I recently decided to make a rule that I don't look at screens when I'm eating. At first, I didn't know what to do with myself, and I listened to podcasts instead, but now I am fine just focusing on my food and having time to think. I think this has really helped my mood in general. I feel less like I'm just watching my life slip away. I think looking at screens a lot can feel isolating in itself.
I'm in an online support group for my illness, and I'd call it a mixed bag. It is nice to have contact with people who are going through the same thing, and I've definitely learned some things about available meds and coping strategies. But I've also had to take breaks from it - I guess it's like any online community that way. I found mine through smartpatients.com, which has groups for many different conditions.
posted by FencingGal at 6:22 AM on January 17, 2023 [6 favorites]
It's also not an option to exercise in any significant way.
Is it an option to exercise in an insignificant way? I wonder if you can use your "workout" time to practice something like the coin walk or another small, dexterity-based, zero-impact physical move. It won't have all the same mental health benefits as more intensive exercise, but it will have some of them, and at the end of it you'll have a new party skill.
posted by babelfish at 6:47 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Is it an option to exercise in an insignificant way? I wonder if you can use your "workout" time to practice something like the coin walk or another small, dexterity-based, zero-impact physical move. It won't have all the same mental health benefits as more intensive exercise, but it will have some of them, and at the end of it you'll have a new party skill.
posted by babelfish at 6:47 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I've been completely isolated since March 2020, only leaving the house for daily walks. This represents a drastic change from before, and is not the lifestyle I would have chosen. It's survivable, though.
A few thoughts:
If you're working full time from home, it's very easy to get sucked into work: "I might as well work, it's not as if I've got anything better to do" or "I don't want to think about [life thing], I'll do some work instead". Probably not a good idea. I'm a lost cause, and I can't tell you how to stop doing it once you start, but perhaps forewarned will be forearmed.
It's also easy to lose evenings and weekends to social media. Not necessarily a fundamentally bad thing, but if it's something you're likely to do and you'd rather not, it's worth giving yourself rules to follow ("only every other day" or "only before dinner" or whatever suits) and/or making sure there are other things on your phone that you can redirect your attention to (e-books, Duolingo, crosswords, whatever).
You might find it helpful to keep a journal. It's a reminder that no, actually, all the days *haven't* been the same.
Are you on mailing lists for events of any kind? Look to see if they have online options, if that's something that appeals; and if not, consider redirecting the emails into a folder, so that they don't show up in your inbox and inadvertently taunt you with things you'd love to do but can't.
I find video calls better than phone calls for keeping in touch with people.
If you can find an "[X] of the Month" club that appeals - chocolates, stationery, novels, tea, craft kits, whatever - a guaranteed surprise once a month is a nice thing, when you're not getting much novelty in your daily routine.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 7:08 AM on January 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
A few thoughts:
If you're working full time from home, it's very easy to get sucked into work: "I might as well work, it's not as if I've got anything better to do" or "I don't want to think about [life thing], I'll do some work instead". Probably not a good idea. I'm a lost cause, and I can't tell you how to stop doing it once you start, but perhaps forewarned will be forearmed.
It's also easy to lose evenings and weekends to social media. Not necessarily a fundamentally bad thing, but if it's something you're likely to do and you'd rather not, it's worth giving yourself rules to follow ("only every other day" or "only before dinner" or whatever suits) and/or making sure there are other things on your phone that you can redirect your attention to (e-books, Duolingo, crosswords, whatever).
You might find it helpful to keep a journal. It's a reminder that no, actually, all the days *haven't* been the same.
Are you on mailing lists for events of any kind? Look to see if they have online options, if that's something that appeals; and if not, consider redirecting the emails into a folder, so that they don't show up in your inbox and inadvertently taunt you with things you'd love to do but can't.
I find video calls better than phone calls for keeping in touch with people.
If you can find an "[X] of the Month" club that appeals - chocolates, stationery, novels, tea, craft kits, whatever - a guaranteed surprise once a month is a nice thing, when you're not getting much novelty in your daily routine.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 7:08 AM on January 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
What kind of exercise can you do while you are in the studio apartment? You'll need some kind of exercise, even if you can't get your heart rate up, or you can't sit, or you can't do any weight bearing exercise.
I find that my exercise bike gives me the non weight bearing cardio I need and pair this with watching videos. The ones that most bring me out of my room are the dash cam videos so I am making a virtual journey. Beautiful scenic ones are nice, but the most effective ones I find are just regular city commutes. Dash cam videos that are taken when there is very little traffic keeps them from being slow and pokey, or you can run speeded up dash cam videos. If the exercise is not an option, being in your chair/wheelchair using very light hand weights and pumping them in slow motion can substitute for peddling.
Can you open several windows and clear the air out? If you can open them (yes, even in winter!) until the temperature and the quality of the air changes, it can make a big difference. Put your out door clothes on so you don't shut them as soon as the temperature changes. Let the air really circulate. Try and leave them open for at least half an hour twice a day.
Can you check with your local volunteer organizations that provide support for shut ins? Usually the support is for seniors, and often it there is a waiting list to get support services, but for example if you took up knitting little hats for newborns, you could potentially get a weekly visitor who would drop by to pick them up for you.
Any chance during the later part of your convalescence you would be capable of doing some babysitting in your home? You could volunteer to watch someone's kid once a week so they can go grocery shopping. You could also arrange to dog sit someone's dog while they are working. Check on Next Door, or your local community help centre.
Can you get outside at all, perhaps on a balcony or a fire escape, or your front door step? If so, regularly scheduling the expedition as soon as you are that mobile enough could be helpful, along with keeping a log of the weather, or taking a photograph each day to show the changing light and seasons, or the different aspects of the Brutalist architecture that goes into your tiny brushed concrete balcony.
People who don't go outside can become over sensitive to temperature changes, air pressure changes and the white noise of the outside environment. For this reason the daily open window or the ten minutes on your balcony can be almost essential.
An exercise program is invaluable. Take up dance - something the exact opposite of Irish Dancing where you only move your arms could work - or yoga, or juggling, or drumming. Nerf balls and stretch bands can be good for small studio apartments.
I find scrolling around street view is good. Pick a corner of any city that appeals and wander around the way you would if you were newly living in a house on that corner and wanted to explore the neighbourhood. Don't just follow a road, but walk around the block and look for parks and shops as if you lived in that neighbourhood. Walkable cities work best for this. They are apt to have much more variety and much more interesting architecture. Give yourself virtual walking projects, like looking up the address of the local firehall and walking there, or finding a place that cuts hair and going there. Think of it as walking a virtual dog. You can even explore your own neighbourhood and learn it better without leaving home.
If you can afford it schedule frequent deliveries and tip your delivery people. This will help prevent become uncomfortable with seeing strangers and interacting with them.
Consider stalking the people who live in your building. This is classic shut in behaviour for a reason. Being aware when the woman with the folding bike is coming home because of the clunks in the hallway and when the man with the funny haircut is working late again because he is home two hours later than usual can give you a sense of community and after awhile can even lead to community. Taking a mild interest in the game of matching people to the names on the mailboxes can help keep you from becoming self absorbed.
This is a good time to get any repairs done, as you will have no problem staying home to wait for tradespeople. Again, contact with people is good. All you need is to see different faces and hear different voices. None of the contact needs to be more than completely superficial. You don't need to exchange any personal chit chat, you just need to stay comfortable with hearing other people's speech patterns and seeing them without any barriers between them and you.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:19 AM on January 17, 2023 [9 favorites]
I find that my exercise bike gives me the non weight bearing cardio I need and pair this with watching videos. The ones that most bring me out of my room are the dash cam videos so I am making a virtual journey. Beautiful scenic ones are nice, but the most effective ones I find are just regular city commutes. Dash cam videos that are taken when there is very little traffic keeps them from being slow and pokey, or you can run speeded up dash cam videos. If the exercise is not an option, being in your chair/wheelchair using very light hand weights and pumping them in slow motion can substitute for peddling.
Can you open several windows and clear the air out? If you can open them (yes, even in winter!) until the temperature and the quality of the air changes, it can make a big difference. Put your out door clothes on so you don't shut them as soon as the temperature changes. Let the air really circulate. Try and leave them open for at least half an hour twice a day.
Can you check with your local volunteer organizations that provide support for shut ins? Usually the support is for seniors, and often it there is a waiting list to get support services, but for example if you took up knitting little hats for newborns, you could potentially get a weekly visitor who would drop by to pick them up for you.
Any chance during the later part of your convalescence you would be capable of doing some babysitting in your home? You could volunteer to watch someone's kid once a week so they can go grocery shopping. You could also arrange to dog sit someone's dog while they are working. Check on Next Door, or your local community help centre.
Can you get outside at all, perhaps on a balcony or a fire escape, or your front door step? If so, regularly scheduling the expedition as soon as you are that mobile enough could be helpful, along with keeping a log of the weather, or taking a photograph each day to show the changing light and seasons, or the different aspects of the Brutalist architecture that goes into your tiny brushed concrete balcony.
People who don't go outside can become over sensitive to temperature changes, air pressure changes and the white noise of the outside environment. For this reason the daily open window or the ten minutes on your balcony can be almost essential.
An exercise program is invaluable. Take up dance - something the exact opposite of Irish Dancing where you only move your arms could work - or yoga, or juggling, or drumming. Nerf balls and stretch bands can be good for small studio apartments.
I find scrolling around street view is good. Pick a corner of any city that appeals and wander around the way you would if you were newly living in a house on that corner and wanted to explore the neighbourhood. Don't just follow a road, but walk around the block and look for parks and shops as if you lived in that neighbourhood. Walkable cities work best for this. They are apt to have much more variety and much more interesting architecture. Give yourself virtual walking projects, like looking up the address of the local firehall and walking there, or finding a place that cuts hair and going there. Think of it as walking a virtual dog. You can even explore your own neighbourhood and learn it better without leaving home.
If you can afford it schedule frequent deliveries and tip your delivery people. This will help prevent become uncomfortable with seeing strangers and interacting with them.
Consider stalking the people who live in your building. This is classic shut in behaviour for a reason. Being aware when the woman with the folding bike is coming home because of the clunks in the hallway and when the man with the funny haircut is working late again because he is home two hours later than usual can give you a sense of community and after awhile can even lead to community. Taking a mild interest in the game of matching people to the names on the mailboxes can help keep you from becoming self absorbed.
This is a good time to get any repairs done, as you will have no problem staying home to wait for tradespeople. Again, contact with people is good. All you need is to see different faces and hear different voices. None of the contact needs to be more than completely superficial. You don't need to exchange any personal chit chat, you just need to stay comfortable with hearing other people's speech patterns and seeing them without any barriers between them and you.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:19 AM on January 17, 2023 [9 favorites]
Ask your doctor for a PT referral before surgery, to plan out mobility-preserving/enhancing exercises and techniques for the unaffected (and compensating! for example, if you have foot or knee surgery it's going to jack up your back because you're moving funny) parts of you. They can focus on the kind of recovery you'll be dealing with as well, like the most back/neck-safe ways to deal with shoulder immobility or an elevated leg. Let them help fully understand the boundaries of what you should and should not do, and actually you might also want a referral to an Occupational Therapist as well to pre-plan how to handle your various domestic and personal care necessities - they are cleverer than your surgeon about this and have the time to spend on it with you.
These are small empowerments that help you feel more in control as well as giving you a good recovery outcome.
How are your windows? Do you have at least one that's really good for daylight exposure? Rearrange your space, if at all possible, so you can spend time there every day, and make any amendments you might need in advance to make it easy to open/close blinds post-op. Even better if the window itself can be opened and closed, because fresh air is good for a captive brain.
I think you're putting together good plans for social interaction. All throughout the pandemic we've had good luck staying in touch with people by organizing loose game nights - an hour or 90 minutes of Jackbox games or similar followed by an hour or so of chitchat once everyone was nice and warmed up to online interaction. This can be a good way to bring in people you know in the real world but it would be weird to just be like "let's zoom!"
posted by Lyn Never at 7:31 AM on January 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
These are small empowerments that help you feel more in control as well as giving you a good recovery outcome.
How are your windows? Do you have at least one that's really good for daylight exposure? Rearrange your space, if at all possible, so you can spend time there every day, and make any amendments you might need in advance to make it easy to open/close blinds post-op. Even better if the window itself can be opened and closed, because fresh air is good for a captive brain.
I think you're putting together good plans for social interaction. All throughout the pandemic we've had good luck staying in touch with people by organizing loose game nights - an hour or 90 minutes of Jackbox games or similar followed by an hour or so of chitchat once everyone was nice and warmed up to online interaction. This can be a good way to bring in people you know in the real world but it would be weird to just be like "let's zoom!"
posted by Lyn Never at 7:31 AM on January 17, 2023 [5 favorites]
Is there some small physical thing that would work for you? During a time when my mobility was limited after surgery on my knee, I focused on increasing the range of motion of my fingers. This was unrelated to any therapy related to my knee, it was just something I decided to do. Every day, I moved each finger in a circle 10 times, while trying to not move the other fingers on that same hand. It was really hard at first, but over time, I was able to do better and better. I'm kind of in love with my fingers now. I recently started doing the same exercise with my feet because I've always admired people who can move their toes independently.
posted by OrangeDisk at 9:46 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by OrangeDisk at 9:46 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Definitely reach out to people in advance and ask them to keep in touch with you more during those months. Don't feel weird doing that!
See if there's an online book club or a local one with zoom meetings.
Learn basic crochet or knitting to have something to do while watching TV.
If you have any unorganized paperwork or folders on your computer, make it a project to organize/scan/back up everything.
If you have the financial means and will be able to cook, volunteer to make a lasagna or two for Lasagna Love or request one for yourself if you need it.
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 9:56 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
See if there's an online book club or a local one with zoom meetings.
Learn basic crochet or knitting to have something to do while watching TV.
If you have any unorganized paperwork or folders on your computer, make it a project to organize/scan/back up everything.
If you have the financial means and will be able to cook, volunteer to make a lasagna or two for Lasagna Love or request one for yourself if you need it.
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 9:56 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I’m in a pretty active discord for chronic illness that you’re welcome to join to chat to people while recovering from your surgery, send me a mefi mail me if the link expires [open invite for other chronically ill and disabled mefites].
The advice above on letting your friends and family know to reach out, and keeping a routine of things to achieve each day rather than fixed times to do things by is good.
posted by ellieBOA at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
The advice above on letting your friends and family know to reach out, and keeping a routine of things to achieve each day rather than fixed times to do things by is good.
posted by ellieBOA at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
My main plan is to socialize a lot by phone each evening
Do this, but make video calls.
Make Zoom dinner plans, too.
Seeing your family and friends' faces, and reactions, as you're talking with them will help.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:14 PM on January 17, 2023
Do this, but make video calls.
Make Zoom dinner plans, too.
Seeing your family and friends' faces, and reactions, as you're talking with them will help.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:14 PM on January 17, 2023
Set some new goals - read some books you've been meaning to read, listen to music you'd like to learn about. Read trashy fiction and listen to whatever music is fun for you, too, but this is a chance to learn stuff. I made a couple playlists on youtube that I still listen and dance to. Find an online book group. Ask friends to read books with you, then discuss. Your library almost certainly has ebooks and audio books, as well as music cds and movies, and might even deliver, since you'll be homebound.
During early Covid, there were a lot of great perfomances online. There's a MeFi Chat room for movies; get people to join you. Some streaming services have watch party options. Work through some list of great movies.
If your hands can do it, learn to knit, tie knots, draw. Get hand exercisers.
Have some vague sense of schedule. Monday is Movie Night, Friday is Spa Day (bath, lotion. long-conditioner on the hair, etc.)
Have online MeFi meetups.
During Covid, I got a Switch, and played the hell out of Animal Crossing; the Animal Crossing subreddits are full of nice helpful people.
Make sure you have really comfy throws and bed linens, a nice chair for reading, with good light. Regular delivery of healthy food. A supply of any canned/ frozen veg., fruit, soups, meals. Snacks are so easy, but most don't support health & healing. Can you hire someone to come in weekly to clean?
posted by theora55 at 2:37 PM on January 17, 2023
During early Covid, there were a lot of great perfomances online. There's a MeFi Chat room for movies; get people to join you. Some streaming services have watch party options. Work through some list of great movies.
If your hands can do it, learn to knit, tie knots, draw. Get hand exercisers.
Have some vague sense of schedule. Monday is Movie Night, Friday is Spa Day (bath, lotion. long-conditioner on the hair, etc.)
Have online MeFi meetups.
During Covid, I got a Switch, and played the hell out of Animal Crossing; the Animal Crossing subreddits are full of nice helpful people.
Make sure you have really comfy throws and bed linens, a nice chair for reading, with good light. Regular delivery of healthy food. A supply of any canned/ frozen veg., fruit, soups, meals. Snacks are so easy, but most don't support health & healing. Can you hire someone to come in weekly to clean?
posted by theora55 at 2:37 PM on January 17, 2023
If it’s a lower limb injury, it is WELL worth it to rent a scooter or motorized wheelchair so you can get out, if this is within your means. Level up in terms of crutches, too, the standard ones are brutal to use and can affect your upper body (armpits, wrists). If you’re not on the first floor and don’t have an elevator, maybe see if you can stay with someone who does have an elevator or is on the first floor (or swap places for a bit).
I haven’t been able to avoid at least mild depression with any lower limb injury, hope you benefit from the advice you’ve gotten.
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:17 PM on January 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
I haven’t been able to avoid at least mild depression with any lower limb injury, hope you benefit from the advice you’ve gotten.
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:17 PM on January 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Level up in terms of crutches, too, the standard ones are brutal to use and can affect your upper body (armpits, wrists)
I've seen a lot of love for these crutches from long term and short term crutch users: https://smartcrutch-usa.com/
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:26 PM on January 17, 2023
I've seen a lot of love for these crutches from long term and short term crutch users: https://smartcrutch-usa.com/
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:26 PM on January 17, 2023
Covid/other infection worries permitting, try to get some pampering that comes to you - a visiting massage therapist, hairdresser, mani-pedi. It's surprisingly grounding, and gets you face to face interaction as well as physical contact.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 10:51 PM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by I claim sanctuary at 10:51 PM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry you're going through this, anon. In 2009 I moved into a 3rd story walkup apartment alone after splitting up with my husband and having my beloved dog die. Three weeks after moving in, I broke my leg in 20+ places.
The greatest uplift I experienced during that long, long period of isolation: My friend would take me with her on her errands with her if she was going to a grocery store or a big box store that had motorized scooters. I'd ride the scooter as she did her errands and make stupid fun little videos of me tooling around the store and share them with friends. BEEP BEEP I'M REVERSING!
Other things that helped tremendously: I documented everything like I was filming a documentary about my broken legged life and posted it on social media for close friends. My coworkers delivered groceries or prepared food or whatever every few weeks. When I wasn't asking one coworker to sit with me a few minutes and tell me the office gossip, I was having an abbreviated game night (pain drugs meant short visits) with my closest work mates. I also joined an online community for people experiencing traumatic orthopedic injuries--where I learned that there's a fetish centered on casting and splinting and other durable medical equipment!
One last note: If you're on pain drugs, especially for this first little while, don't overestimate the amount of time you'll have on your hands to get lost in deep thought. The drugs I was on gave me some curious side effects, such as hallucinations, especially in the first few weeks.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 12:19 PM on January 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
The greatest uplift I experienced during that long, long period of isolation: My friend would take me with her on her errands with her if she was going to a grocery store or a big box store that had motorized scooters. I'd ride the scooter as she did her errands and make stupid fun little videos of me tooling around the store and share them with friends. BEEP BEEP I'M REVERSING!
Other things that helped tremendously: I documented everything like I was filming a documentary about my broken legged life and posted it on social media for close friends. My coworkers delivered groceries or prepared food or whatever every few weeks. When I wasn't asking one coworker to sit with me a few minutes and tell me the office gossip, I was having an abbreviated game night (pain drugs meant short visits) with my closest work mates. I also joined an online community for people experiencing traumatic orthopedic injuries--where I learned that there's a fetish centered on casting and splinting and other durable medical equipment!
One last note: If you're on pain drugs, especially for this first little while, don't overestimate the amount of time you'll have on your hands to get lost in deep thought. The drugs I was on gave me some curious side effects, such as hallucinations, especially in the first few weeks.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 12:19 PM on January 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
« Older How do I remove this white stuff on the leaves of... | sensual abstract queer visuals Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
Good luck and I wish you a speedy, easy recovery!!
posted by smorgasbord at 3:31 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]