Bucket list ideas, for when you're idea-challenged?

August 12, 2022 5:11 PM

I'm getting old, and I feel like I should spend less time working and more time on a "bucket list". Problem: I have trouble coming up with a bucket list.

Part of my problem is probably due to a lifelong mentality of not wanting to spend time and money on seemingly frivolous or selfish or extravagant pursuits. Now in my late 50's with declining health and physique, I feel like I maybe should try to check off some things off a bucket list before I kick the bucket. My spouse is ever supportive and asks me what do I want to do? And my problem is … I don't know. I've been fortunate to have done a number of things already (scuba dive, visit a number of places in the world), so those kinds of things feel "done" and now all I can seem to come up with are "see the aurora" and take a train ride through the Canadian Rockies. And that seems like a sad, short list.

So I'm hoping to get inspiration from other people's bucket lists. What's on yours? And how did you come up with yours?

posted by StrawberryPie to Grab Bag (17 answers total)

I have a lifestyle I want to lead rather than a bucket list. Perhaps you've done a lot of the big deal experiences and it might be time to focus on making your everyday life a bit more invigorating? You said your health and physique are declining. What would it take to make small improvements on a day to day basis?
posted by bluedaisy at 5:31 PM on August 12, 2022 [8 favorites]

I am anti-bucket list. It feels forced. If there's something you really want to do, then you'd know about it. If you don't want it so much that you already know about it, then why spend your precious time doing it? Go see the aurora and take the train ride, then see if you feel like doing anything else. It's your life. Spend it doing what you want to do.
posted by HotToddy at 5:57 PM on August 12, 2022 [9 favorites]

Seeing the aurora and that train through the Rockies aren't a sad, short list! (OK I might be biased because that's also my list...)

Maybe you're the kind of person that has a "messy bucket" rather than an organised list- once you do the train and the aurora maybe other things will reveal themselves?

Is it possible that you want a nice long list so it doesn't feel like "welp, train ride is done and I've seen the aurora, now I may as well buy a coffin to sleep in" ?
posted by freethefeet at 6:21 PM on August 12, 2022 [4 favorites]

Sorry, not actually answering your question!

I love trains. So as well as the Rocky Mountaineer, I want to do the Ghan, have done half of the Overland and maybe would do all of it, the Siberian Railway. I like daydreaming of adventures. I don't know how feasible this is with young kids so I guess these might be bucket list items!

The southern lights are sometimes visible from my part of the world, and I'd love to see them.

What you need is to have an idea and then the snowball effect of someone else agreeing and joining in so "boring you" can't go "oh, well, nevermind."

Travel is a big part of my list.

I made a "things to do before I turn 30" list which had a mix of skills I wanted to achieve (learn a musical instrument- able to play one song, well) scandalous things (go skinny dipping), relationship things (ask someone out for a date) and also lifestyle things, religious things. A mix of easy to achieve things and things that would take time. Perhaps this kind of scaffold might help?
posted by freethefeet at 6:31 PM on August 12, 2022 [3 favorites]

If there’s nothing left you absolutely have to do then you have no bucket list.

My suggestion would be to keep learning and expanding your knowledge of the world. When you see something and say "Yes that looks cool. I have go do that", do it.

I finished my original bucket a few years back but just a few weeks ago I realized I could make this happen. My list had one item for four days and now I’m back to zero.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:38 PM on August 12, 2022 [1 favorite]

My suggestion would be to keep learning and expanding your knowledge of the world.

Atlas Obscura is a wonderful resource for this. I planned a trip to New Zealand based around it and found it time very well spent.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:50 PM on August 12, 2022 [2 favorites]

The 11-year solar cycle is on the upswing, so plan a trip north. I've seen the Northern Lights a few times, but never really strong, so it's still a thing. No guarantees. But a fall trip means you have longer nights, but it's not yet super cold.

Train trips are great. Many years ago, my family took the Denver Zephyr from Chicago to Denver through the Rockies; it was stunningly gorgeous, and trains are special. Make reservations.

I developed a desire to see the Grand Canyon and it was so worthwhile.

Maybe there are things you'd like to learn, like knitting, Portuguese, how to play ukelele, or make pasta. Adult Education classes are wonderful.

There may be books you'd like to read; your library may have a book group, or just nmake a list.

Or, you may be tired and a bit depressed, as many of us are after the last 2 1/2 years. It's okay if you want to stream some fun content, eat popcorn, drink tea in the day and wine in the evening, and curl up. You have a loving partner and a good life. That's a blessing. You don't have to want more of what other people want.
posted by theora55 at 7:17 PM on August 12, 2022 [3 favorites]

I am going to take a different tack. Or a couple of them.

Tell Me No Lies suggested above: My suggestion would be to keep learning and expanding your knowledge of the world. When you see something and say "Yes that looks cool. I have go do that", do it. But don't make your learning just about other places. The world is very broad. There is so much that could be interesting learning, in so many different fields. Just the learning would be on thing, and it might excite your passion in a given topic that maybe don't even realize exists yet.

Along with learning about, you could develop one or more skills, including making things. This could be anything from woodworking, cooking, photography, needlecraft, art, or even repairing things.

Also, consider that you say I've been fortunate to have done a number of things already. That's great. Maybe it's time to give back. Maybe that would bring you the greatest fulfillment. Again, you could do that in any number of fields. There are so many opportunities that could be worth its own question. Some examples: helping in a food bank, being a Big Brother, helping at an Animal Shelter, Meals on Wheels, Habitat for Humanity, as a literacy tutor getting involved in politics (whether with a party, candidate or issue) ...
posted by NotLost at 8:22 PM on August 12, 2022 [4 favorites]

Or another possibility to consider is exercise to slow the slide of your health and physique. You might even want to compete, which is done in various sports, even at advancing ages. Many sports have age classes. Fencing is done by a handful of senior people at my local club.
posted by NotLost at 8:26 PM on August 12, 2022 [1 favorite]

I’m also anti bucket for same reasons as HotToddy; but if you’re asking what should I do with my time left before I die, then imagine you’ve been given 2 weeks to live and what comes out? What knowledge did you want to impart to the world, to your loved ones etc. what does your faith tell you is important.

If you’re not thinking external journey then what about internal journey? Are there aspects of your person you’d regret not having explored and allowed to express? Talents you’d always wished you’d explored.

Lastly… I mean ain’t no shame in living quietly and simply and leaving behind a host of half finished projects of middling quality.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:34 PM on August 12, 2022 [10 favorites]

Go out and help someone. It's harder than it sounds but is worth quite a lot as an experience, as a gift to both you and the other.
posted by storybored at 8:46 PM on August 12, 2022 [2 favorites]

For specifics on finding courses, do you have a vocational school or community college near you? They often have adult education classes (short courses) for the public - browse the catalog and you might find something that would be very interesting to learn, or a reminder of something you always wanted to try. Depending on your town or city, they or the library might also hold public courses.
posted by Tandem Affinity at 8:57 PM on August 12, 2022

Some places give senior discounts for courses, either community ed or post-secondary.
posted by NotLost at 9:29 PM on August 12, 2022

I'm also not a fan of the idea of a "bucket list," a term that I don't think even existed before that 2007 movie. Fifty years ago, absolutely no one would have found it sad that you have "only" two things you really want to do. It is wonderful that you have those things, and what seems hard to me is that you don't think it is enough. The idea of a bucket list seems like it may be hurting you and making you feel like your wonderful and truly awesome ideas are somehow inadequate.

Years ago, during one of the many fitness crazes we've been subjected to, I read this wonderful sentence: "Jane Austen did not have buns of steel." No doubt she did not have a bucket list either. Think of the people you really admire and why you admire them. "Great bucket list" is probably not one of your reasons.

It also ignores the idea of serendipity. One of the most moving experiences I've had was going to Alcatraz, but I would have never come up with that as something I wanted to do. I was visiting family in the area, and they suggested it. Similarly, when I was staying in Evanston, Illinois, for a conference, I was looking for something I could walk to from my hotel and ended up at the Halim Time & Glass Museum. It was a wonderful experience and something that I never would have planned.

In terms of what to do, have you gone really deep on your two things? Those experiences will be even more wonderful if you've learned as much about them as you can before going. Read as much as you can about the aurora (there are probably good poems, but I can only think of The Cremation of Sam McGee, which just mentions them). And learn about the Canadian Rockies. (Those would probably both be good Ask questions). The idea of a bucket list seems to me to emphasize quantity over quality, but quality is so important.

Also, how much do you really know about the area where you already live and how much of that area have you really seen? That seems like a good idea for exploration as you deal with declining health (for what it's worth, I am in the same boat). That's another great way to go deep. I think of Thoreau for this and would suggest reading his work. This essay about Thoreau and traveling is pretty good regarding the idea of "traveling" locally.

Also nthing fencing. I didn't start until I was fifty. At that point, I realized that it was something I'd always wanted to do, and if I wanted to do it, I'd better start (though Jeanne Calment, the only woman verified to live past 120, started in her 80s). Thirteen years later with many breaks for medical issues, I am still terrible at it, but it's given me so much, including a wonderful community of kind, encouraging, and welcoming people. It can be hard on your knees though. I think it's been better for me to have one thing to focus on for years rather than a list of activities to try briefly. If that doesn't interest you, I've found that dance classes often have some older people: belly dancing and tap specifically, but there are no doubt others. (You don't mention gender, so I'll note that one of the most amazing belly dancers I've ever seen was a man.)
posted by FencingGal at 5:02 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]

As I see it, your problem isn't so much a lack of bucket list as that you have subordinated your own interests to the interests of family and job and now it seems selfish to to something for no constructive reason except that you might find it interesting or fun. You get high marks for citizenship, but it's a time of life when you can treat yourself a little.

I'd add that you are also approaching a time of life when it makes sense to pay someone to do things you used to do yourself such as mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutters. If there are irksome little problems around the house that have been unaddressed for years, now is a good time to get someone to fix them because the lesson of history is that you're not going to get to them yourself.
posted by SemiSalt at 5:07 AM on August 13, 2022 [2 favorites]

I don't have a bucket list as such, but I tried listing examples of things I want to do and see, and it got pretty unwieldy, pretty fast.

But I can summarise it like this: I want to explore. I want to give my curiosity free rein. I want to fill my brain with art and nature and architecture and history and beauty and wonder - and surprise; I'm with FencingGal on the joy of serendipity. I'm not *doing* it, because a sodding global pandemic has got in the way (and because I need to earn a living), but that's what I want, and whether I think about the whole world or just the country I live in, there's more to discover than I could ever fit into one lifetime.

Take art, for instance. Pick ten artists whose work you love. Have you ever actually seen your favourite of their works? If they have a dedicated gallery somewhere in the world, have you been? Would you like to? Or - have you read everything by your favourite authors? Even the short stories? Or - is there a creature or a plant you'd love to see, and never have? Giant redwood? Puffin colony? Galapagos giant tortoise? Migrating monarch butterflies? I could go on, but you get the idea.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 8:08 AM on August 13, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'm with NotLost here. Most people I know who are figuring out retirement, second acts, third acts, seem to be coming up with 1) creative pursuits and 2) giving back. Doctors and lawyers have begun writing novels or doing sculpture. In some cases, they were probably interested in these activities for a long time, but were too busy to do them continuously. My father attended classes on memoir writing and spent most of his elderly, largely disabled years doing writing of one kind or another. I shared a teacher with him at one point. Many of the people in his course were, like him, professionals at the point of retirement or career transition. I went to readings they did and some of them blew me away with their literary quality and/or the experiences they wrote about.

With all of this in mind, I am trying to make my bucket list more about things that don't depend on being super able bodied or having tons of money or even like-minded people always at the ready to do stuff with.
posted by BibiRose at 8:35 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]