Goofy traditions I can do when frustrated at bureaucracy

July 15, 2022 3:05 PM

At work, I deal with bureaucracy, and I get frustrated. Please suggest playful things I can do on my own to lift my mood.

The types of bureaucracy that annoy me:

Management changes their mind (without new information) and causes work to be wasted.

Management can't tell who is competent and who is incompetent.

The incompetent people fight tooth and nail to maintain their power. If there's the possibility that they will lose power to someone more competent, they will fight it off, no matter how much it hurts the project.

The company culture is to ignore problems and instead fantasize about how the project is going to be incredibly successful. Attempts to discuss problems are ignored or criticized as "divisive" or "inappropriate". 

When a problem can no longer be ignored, Management promises to address it... within 18-24 months. Please be patient and check in again next year.

I'm looking for fun rituals I can do.  Examples:

Every time a bureaucratic thing happens, I put money into a jar to donate to the food bank.

... I play a song to myself afterwards. (Which song?)

... I donate money to nonprofits unionizing against big bureaucratic corporations.

... I do a silly dance. (Which dance?)

Lighthearted answers only! Not looking for serious workplace advice, just lighthearted traditions I can start.

posted by cheesecake to Work & Money (26 answers total)

Make your own bingo card and cross things off as management does them. I did this when I was a rep on a very onerous and frustrating committee at work and I have to say it did give me a grim chuckle every time I crossed off a bingo item.

When you get a bingo, make a donation to advocacy groups that help people unionize.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:11 PM on July 15, 2022 [14 favorites]

We made a paper dog house and printed out a bunch of cute (or not so cute) dogs and put names on them — names of people or names of organizations and put them up on the wall around the house. When we had a predictably frustrating experience with one of them, we would put their dog in the dog house. probably not an option if people from said organizations are going to be in your office space… but it was nice when cube mates added their own, or just walked to my space and moved a dog, or started adding cut-out dog dishes and bones and such.

For songs? “Bang on The Drum”, Todd Rundgren. Fabulous for dancing too!
posted by Silvery Fish at 3:20 PM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Best answer: I saw a meme once about somebody playing Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO every time they are sad/depressed. It brings an element of pure ridiculousness to almost any situation. After a little while it's next to impossible not to smile or bop along.
posted by Juniper Toast at 3:27 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I learned how to make paper cranes out of post it notes from the supply cabinet. I made about 1,300 in a year. I’m not sure exactly how many because someone in my cube row started giving them away to people who stopped by to see them when I was out of the office. Still it was an enjoyable practice that lifted my mood, if nothing else I had a little crane where there was just a post it before.
posted by lepus at 3:49 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Find a co-conspirator for your fun. Everything's better with a counterpart.

At one place where we had to write a lot of internal reports, my co-conspirator and I would find obscure words (we had a word a day calendar but there are other sources) and dare each other to work them in.

Deliquescent, ululate, velleity.
posted by mochapickle at 4:18 PM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

Song: "It Was A Shitshow".
posted by brainwane at 4:25 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Dart board?
posted by eotvos at 4:36 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I pretend to be Star Trek's Mr. Spock and state (to no one in particular): "Strange Employer! They pay us the same whether we can do our job or not, and yet seem uninterested in our productivity. Very odd!".
posted by forthright at 4:38 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Can you keep a tally like the "Number of days without an accident" board in a factory? "Number of days since a boneheaded management bureaucratic self-own" might be a bit much for your desk, but even if it's just a counter in the corner of a whiteboard that you can take a deep breath, and erase/set-to-zero when the inevitable happens?
posted by adekllny at 5:02 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Keep a mental list of possible bureaucratic infractions and a big jar of little candies at your desk. When infraction occurs, consume candy.

For a slightly more elaborate scheme, match up nature of infraction with flavor of candy.
posted by eponym at 5:04 PM on July 15, 2022

Voodoo dolls.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 5:16 PM on July 15, 2022

Make bets. New initiative announced? -- make a bet for when it'll actually launch; when it'll get dismantled. Combine w/ others who also share the same view and have a little betting pool.
posted by ellerhodes at 5:49 PM on July 15, 2022

Cast spells. Really think about what materials you need to symbolize your difficulties, gather them, write chants, and then go home and burn the hell out of some office supplies at midnight.
posted by Merricat Blackwood at 6:04 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Combine the above ideas - voodoo paper cranes!
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:23 PM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

When you’re dealing with the bureaucrats, picture them as something goofy. Like big fluffy bunnies. Or Kerbals. Or Care Bears. Or whatever. And then just picture everything they say in an appropriate voice.
posted by azpenguin at 6:31 PM on July 15, 2022

Maybe there’s a friend in a completely different profession that you can buddy up with?
And send each other a link to a new and exciting ‘yakety sax’ video like a bat signal for stupidity at work…
Then meet for drinks for a debrief at the wackiness that ensued…
posted by calgirl at 6:36 PM on July 15, 2022

Announce it to yourself: "Five! FIVE management flip-flops!" And then laugh like The Count from Sesame Street.
posted by Cheese Monster at 7:13 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Maybe a bingo card with various frustrations on it?
posted by NotLost at 7:19 PM on July 15, 2022

Duh, I should have read the answers first.
posted by NotLost at 7:20 PM on July 15, 2022

As a reward for filling up the bingo card, maybe take a *mental health day."
posted by brookeb at 8:42 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Oh, I just remembered how at my failing dotcom back in the day we entertained ourselves with a stats spreadsheet tracking various staffing shenanigans. In our case, we assigned stats for 1) how many different desks you'd sat in, 2) how many managers you'd had, 3) how many different titles you'd had, and 4) how many departments you'd been in. I proudly led in points for the different managers category, having had 13 different managers in 30 months. One had lasted nearly three days!

So you can make your own little fantasy league spreadsheet with your own categories like the ones listed in your question, and make it as elaborate as you'd like. If you camouflage it properly as a project plan, you can even display it proudly on your office wall.
posted by mochapickle at 8:45 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

As for songs, I would suggest the following:

Jerkin Back & Forth by DEVO.
Teenage Lobotomy by The Ramones
To Keep My Love Alive by Blossom Dearie
posted by brookeb at 8:50 PM on July 15, 2022

Peruse the various meme templates available at the link above, pick your favorite format(s), insert your own text to reference whatever shit show is happening around you, then save the resulting images to your phone. You’ll amuse yourself at the very least, but it’s even better if you find an equally frustrated coworker or two to share with. Bonus; if you, like me, are a terminally online person with much less online co-workers, you get the fun of introducing them to all sorts of exciting meme formats.
posted by ActionPopulated at 8:59 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Also Talking Loud and Saying Nothing by James Brown
Fight The Power by the Isley Brothers
posted by brookeb at 9:05 PM on July 15, 2022

Get a nice abacus for your desk.
posted by BoscosMom at 3:54 AM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I played a game at one work place where my manager was especially awful and who made my job miserable. I actively avoided seeing them, and kept track of how long I could go with not laying eyes on them during the work day. I once went a whole month, and then it was only because I passed them in the parking lot as I drove out one day. It brought me a lot of dumb joy.
posted by momochan at 11:30 AM on July 16, 2022 [3 favorites]