Need information about dinners in the 1980s!
July 8, 2022 8:56 AM Subscribe
Were you living in the U.S. in the 1980s with a large family (at least 6 people)? Were the parents/caregivers in the home from Ireland? Can you tell me what your evening meal was like?
For a fiction piece I'm working on I am trying to get information about what dinnertime with a large lower-middle-class Irish-American family might have looked like in the late 80s. What did you eat? Who did the cooking/cleaning up? What rules did you have? What was conversation like in a household with lots of kids? I can certainly imagine all these things but wanted to get info from people who might have lived it.
Any other information about growing up in a large family is also very welcome!
For a fiction piece I'm working on I am trying to get information about what dinnertime with a large lower-middle-class Irish-American family might have looked like in the late 80s. What did you eat? Who did the cooking/cleaning up? What rules did you have? What was conversation like in a household with lots of kids? I can certainly imagine all these things but wanted to get info from people who might have lived it.
Any other information about growing up in a large family is also very welcome!
My (white) family was not Irish-American and crossed between being poor and lower-middle-class several times as circumstances changed, but otherwise fits your bill.
Dinner was at 6 pm, after my father got home from work (when he was working). Mom did most of the cooking, with some filling in from the kids as we got older. She made the food decisions, although not wholly disregarding the kids' wishes. Everyone ate the same thing. The diet was just unbelievably bland, based on meat-starch-vegetable, with salt doing just about all the flavoring work. Grilled (American) cheese and (canned, no-brand) tomato soup. Meatloaf. Cabbage stuffed with ground beef. Cheap fried fish like smelt. Liver and onions. Pork chops without any sauce. Occasionally cheap low-grade steak. Sometimes a very, uh, idiosyncratic homemade pizza. My mom went through a few faddish phases, leading to meals of essentially unseasoned lentils and the like. The starch was generally potatoes and was sometimes omitted. Rice was rare and probably would've been boil-in-bag. Sometimes bulgur (my mom did use her More with Less cookbook!). Vegetables were either (more often) from a can and boiled, or from frozen and boiled. "Salad" would be iceberg lettuce plus tomatoes and cucumbers, dressed with some cheap commercial dressing. When we had dessert, it was usually something like fruit we'd bought from the farmer's market (which at that time was an economical option!) and canned, but more often we didn't have any.
Dad and Mom sat at opposite ends of the table, with the kids crowded in on the sides (assigned seats). There was no reading allowed at the table, and no TV was in view, so no need to make a rule. Phones obviously weren't an issue. Dinner was for talking amongst the family. My dad was a blowhard, so often dominated the conversation, but there was some sense of getting "how was your day?" from everyone. For a while we had a lodger who was in medical school and would regale us with various gross stories. I would guess dinner usually took up a half hour to forty-five minutes. You had to ask to be excused from the table (I think this rule fell into disuse as the kids got older). You were always supposed to finish your vegetables or you wouldn't get any dessert.
Cleaning up afterwards was governed by an unbelievably complex and fiercely contested chore rota amongst the kids. We didn't really have a dishwasher most of the time (occasionally my dad would bring home a cheap used one which inevitably had a short shelf life), and with a lot of kids and serious cooking, you can imagine how the dishwashing chore was the most hated and evaded.
posted by praemunire at 9:54 AM on July 8, 2022 [11 favorites]
Dinner was at 6 pm, after my father got home from work (when he was working). Mom did most of the cooking, with some filling in from the kids as we got older. She made the food decisions, although not wholly disregarding the kids' wishes. Everyone ate the same thing. The diet was just unbelievably bland, based on meat-starch-vegetable, with salt doing just about all the flavoring work. Grilled (American) cheese and (canned, no-brand) tomato soup. Meatloaf. Cabbage stuffed with ground beef. Cheap fried fish like smelt. Liver and onions. Pork chops without any sauce. Occasionally cheap low-grade steak. Sometimes a very, uh, idiosyncratic homemade pizza. My mom went through a few faddish phases, leading to meals of essentially unseasoned lentils and the like. The starch was generally potatoes and was sometimes omitted. Rice was rare and probably would've been boil-in-bag. Sometimes bulgur (my mom did use her More with Less cookbook!). Vegetables were either (more often) from a can and boiled, or from frozen and boiled. "Salad" would be iceberg lettuce plus tomatoes and cucumbers, dressed with some cheap commercial dressing. When we had dessert, it was usually something like fruit we'd bought from the farmer's market (which at that time was an economical option!) and canned, but more often we didn't have any.
Dad and Mom sat at opposite ends of the table, with the kids crowded in on the sides (assigned seats). There was no reading allowed at the table, and no TV was in view, so no need to make a rule. Phones obviously weren't an issue. Dinner was for talking amongst the family. My dad was a blowhard, so often dominated the conversation, but there was some sense of getting "how was your day?" from everyone. For a while we had a lodger who was in medical school and would regale us with various gross stories. I would guess dinner usually took up a half hour to forty-five minutes. You had to ask to be excused from the table (I think this rule fell into disuse as the kids got older). You were always supposed to finish your vegetables or you wouldn't get any dessert.
Cleaning up afterwards was governed by an unbelievably complex and fiercely contested chore rota amongst the kids. We didn't really have a dishwasher most of the time (occasionally my dad would bring home a cheap used one which inevitably had a short shelf life), and with a lot of kids and serious cooking, you can imagine how the dishwashing chore was the most hated and evaded.
posted by praemunire at 9:54 AM on July 8, 2022 [11 favorites]
Grew up in a lower middle class family in the 80s, in the US, my family was (is!) from the UK. 4 kids, two adults, moved to US (suburban NJ) in 1982.
Dinner time. We rarely ate out, too expensive. A big treat was chinese takeaway or pizzas. Dinner would be cooked by my mum, usually english standards like shepherds pie, meat pie, sausages, chips (french fries - those ones that come frozen in a bag and are cooked in the oven). I remember lots of mashed potatoes (often powdered, from a box) and baked beans. We would eat around the kitchen table (not the dining room table), my dad was often not there (working or asleep) or he would eat by himself in the living room, served by my mum. I don't remember having dessert - sometimes ice cream with tinned fruit, maybe.
My mum would do the washing up. Later on, they had a dishwasher, she would load the dishwasher. My dad did (does) no household chores. He was the primary breadwinner.
I remember we had some good laughs (us kids were born in 69, 70, 73 and 75). There were often other kids there too, neighbourhood strays or friends. It was always very informal and it seemed like we always had hearty, if not the healthiest, meals.
Some friends had to be home for a formal dinner at 6pm on the dot every night, other's didn't seem to get fed at all and would just scavenge whatever they could from their fridge. A wide range.
posted by conifer at 9:54 AM on July 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
Dinner time. We rarely ate out, too expensive. A big treat was chinese takeaway or pizzas. Dinner would be cooked by my mum, usually english standards like shepherds pie, meat pie, sausages, chips (french fries - those ones that come frozen in a bag and are cooked in the oven). I remember lots of mashed potatoes (often powdered, from a box) and baked beans. We would eat around the kitchen table (not the dining room table), my dad was often not there (working or asleep) or he would eat by himself in the living room, served by my mum. I don't remember having dessert - sometimes ice cream with tinned fruit, maybe.
My mum would do the washing up. Later on, they had a dishwasher, she would load the dishwasher. My dad did (does) no household chores. He was the primary breadwinner.
I remember we had some good laughs (us kids were born in 69, 70, 73 and 75). There were often other kids there too, neighbourhood strays or friends. It was always very informal and it seemed like we always had hearty, if not the healthiest, meals.
Some friends had to be home for a formal dinner at 6pm on the dot every night, other's didn't seem to get fed at all and would just scavenge whatever they could from their fridge. A wide range.
posted by conifer at 9:54 AM on July 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
I don't know about Irish large families, but my best friend growing up was one of nine in eleven years. I ate dinner there all the time even if my friend wasn't there. I can tell you that most of the dinner conversation was, "Pass me the potatoes" or "Hey Mary, are you going to eat your meatballs?" Some nights, they went around the table with each child saying one good thing about their day. Pretty typical American dinner table conversations except that there were usually at least 8 or 9 kids at the long farm table. It was an amazingly welcoming place. As I said, sometimes I would stop in and my friend wasn't there, but it was insisted that I sit down and eat. When we got to HS age and the kids were eating A LOT, it was amazing to watch the food being passed around. They used to tease me that I was the tenth child they never had. Food fare was pretty standard. Lots of pasta with meatballs, meatloaf, perogies (family was from Poland), a vegetable, usually something like canned green beans, and other bland items. I remember there being a constant din, lots of sounds during dinner. Never was it silent except for the prayer before the meal.
They had to be able to make things in bulk and time it so it all came out pretty much at the same time. Things like grilled cheese sammies were had for lunch when it was not a formal sit down bc making 15 grilled cheese sammies come out all hot just was not happening. Also, gallons of milk were consumed. Mostly whole milk.
Clean up was generally be responsible for bringing your own dishes to the counter next to the sink. There were nine kids, so there was always one or two helping to wash dishes, dry dishes, clean the table, etc.
The interesting thing was when the oldest turned 17 and got his license. In order to take the family car, he had to drive like 5 of his siblings to soccer practice or to the park or to the mall, etc. Since they were nine in eleven years, quickly they had a lot of drivers fighting over the one "house" car.
I don't think that the father who worked (Stay at home mom when you have NINE), was lower middle class in terms of compensation, but even if you made $150,000/yr back then, with 9 kids, it is relative and you are always scrimping for a savings somewhere. Fwiw, there were 5 girls and 4 boys.
The one thing my friend says about his childhood that he did not like was the lack of privacy. It wasn't a lack to me, it was zero privacy. His only alone time was taking a shit. If he was showering, someone else would be at the sink brushing teeth or whatever. There were at least 2 or 3 kids to a bedroom and the configuration changed a lot. He did not have one room his entire childhood.
This was late 70s early 80s.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:17 AM on July 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
They had to be able to make things in bulk and time it so it all came out pretty much at the same time. Things like grilled cheese sammies were had for lunch when it was not a formal sit down bc making 15 grilled cheese sammies come out all hot just was not happening. Also, gallons of milk were consumed. Mostly whole milk.
Clean up was generally be responsible for bringing your own dishes to the counter next to the sink. There were nine kids, so there was always one or two helping to wash dishes, dry dishes, clean the table, etc.
The interesting thing was when the oldest turned 17 and got his license. In order to take the family car, he had to drive like 5 of his siblings to soccer practice or to the park or to the mall, etc. Since they were nine in eleven years, quickly they had a lot of drivers fighting over the one "house" car.
I don't think that the father who worked (Stay at home mom when you have NINE), was lower middle class in terms of compensation, but even if you made $150,000/yr back then, with 9 kids, it is relative and you are always scrimping for a savings somewhere. Fwiw, there were 5 girls and 4 boys.
The one thing my friend says about his childhood that he did not like was the lack of privacy. It wasn't a lack to me, it was zero privacy. His only alone time was taking a shit. If he was showering, someone else would be at the sink brushing teeth or whatever. There were at least 2 or 3 kids to a bedroom and the configuration changed a lot. He did not have one room his entire childhood.
This was late 70s early 80s.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:17 AM on July 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
My family wasn't Irish, but my wife's mom was, which mostly just meant that she didn't (and still doesn't) like Mexican food. Her dad never did a single chore, mine did.
7 in my family, pretty similar to conifer. The notable differences between then and now were we thawed meat in the sink (oh the horror!), didn't use the microwave nearly as much (though we had one) and fried a lot more food than I am comfortable with. We also didn't regularly have a prepared desert, but generally had ice cream or something later. Salmon croquets were one meal we had then that I haven't had since.
Thousand island was the dressing - ranch didn't come until later, and premade Italian was less common, though restaurants had vinegar and oil so you could make your own. Also French Dressing ---ewww! Catalina was the fancy stuff.
We talked about stuff at the table, school, friends, my dad liked to talk about his work (construction) and the bizarre conversations with the other hired hands. One I distinctly remember: "when you dig a ditch and fill it in, there's always less dirt, where does all the extra dirt go? Phases of the moon take it. "
When there are lots of kids, there is a wide age range of kids at the table, so it went from high school down to pre-school.
Dad generally did the dishes, mom would help. We kids didn't often have chores. Dad would occasionally make dinner, usually a chili.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:27 AM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
7 in my family, pretty similar to conifer. The notable differences between then and now were we thawed meat in the sink (oh the horror!), didn't use the microwave nearly as much (though we had one) and fried a lot more food than I am comfortable with. We also didn't regularly have a prepared desert, but generally had ice cream or something later. Salmon croquets were one meal we had then that I haven't had since.
Thousand island was the dressing - ranch didn't come until later, and premade Italian was less common, though restaurants had vinegar and oil so you could make your own. Also French Dressing ---ewww! Catalina was the fancy stuff.
We talked about stuff at the table, school, friends, my dad liked to talk about his work (construction) and the bizarre conversations with the other hired hands. One I distinctly remember: "when you dig a ditch and fill it in, there's always less dirt, where does all the extra dirt go? Phases of the moon take it. "
When there are lots of kids, there is a wide age range of kids at the table, so it went from high school down to pre-school.
Dad generally did the dishes, mom would help. We kids didn't often have chores. Dad would occasionally make dinner, usually a chili.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:27 AM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
The one thing my friend says about his childhood that he did not like was the lack of privacy.
Yes! Houses were smaller then too, even among the more wealthy, of course depending on the area. Man the lack of privacy sucked. I have an irrational hate of smaller houses to this day.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:32 AM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
Yes! Houses were smaller then too, even among the more wealthy, of course depending on the area. Man the lack of privacy sucked. I have an irrational hate of smaller houses to this day.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:32 AM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
My Mom was Irish and my Dad was Italian, both grew up in Salem, Mass. Around 1980 my older three siblings were finishing high school and my family had just recently entered the middle class.
Dinner was the major event of the day, always at six, and always fully attended. My Mom did the cooking, and just before 6 she'd call out "SUPPAH!" and wherever we were in the house or yard we all made our way to the table. There was no excuse for missing it other than life-threatening illness. We sat in the same seats every night and still by default emulate this setup when we see each other.
Typical meals were ziti with jarred meat sauce, beans and franks with brown bread, roast pork with applesauce and a veg or two, "kraft dinner" and tuna sandwiches, roast beef with mashed potatoes and peas (the next day the leftover beef would be cubed and served with gravy on white bread!), pork chops, cube steak, roast chicken with stove-top stuffing... all pretty basic but pretty hearty stuff. Every meal ended with a salad of iceberg, cukes, tomatoes, sometimes olives or onions and dressing from a jar. Usually no dessert but sometimes there was jello, canned fruit, or if available a melon. On more special occasions we'd have fancier pasta like ravioli or gnocchi with things like braciole, meatballs, sausage, or fried eggplant. Or pot roast! I loved pot roast. Summer weekends Dad might grill burgers or steaks, and was always trying to find the very best butter and sugar corn from local stands. Once in a while my Mom would try something new and different which could range from French onion soup to escargot. Sometimes we'd have "Chinese food" which meant she had been to the La Choy aisle and bought some of cans of slimy chow mein, water chestnuts, and fried noodles which we'd have swimming in soy sauce and maybe even with fortune cookies if she felt extra fancy.
My Dad really set the tone which was that dinner should be on time and predictable - preferably something we've had before prepared exactly the same way using the same brands of ingredients. Anything out of the ordinary was looked on very skeptically and maybe nibbled at and criticized but there better also be "real food" served along with it. An event like switching brands of salad dressing was a major milestone. In their later years their roles reversed - my Dad started cooking and liked to change things up. He'd put raisins in the meatballs, or cook the pork to a different temperature, something like that. If it was too radical, my Mom would just cook herself spaghetti with cheese and butter.
"Seconds" were first come first served, and my Dad ate FAST. So if you wanted more, you had to be even faster. I still wolf my food down as if coming off a hunger strike.
If anything funny or interesting happened at work my Dad would tell us about it. A lot of the stories had to do with power struggles ending in somebody being fired. Or if he felt like it he'd "lecture" on various topics like R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y or maybe some boring stuff related to politics that I tuned out. At this point the older three had lots going on: college plans, finding dates for dances, getting into mild to moderate trouble, so there'd be a lot of talk about those things. My parents would often say "children should be seen and not heard" but actually we could talk pretty openly about nearly anything, although you always ran the risk of a lecture. Arguments between my parents were also pretty common, usually about how best to react to whatever us kids were doing wrong.
One of the older three would clear the table, scraping the plates into a paper bag set on one of the chairs. We didn't generally do leftovers. My Mom would wash the dishes. I was about six at the time so I got out of most chores but sometimes I'd help set the table.
On St. Patrick's day my Mom would play some old Irish records and we might have corned beef for dinner but that was about as Irish as it got.
posted by steveminutillo at 10:50 AM on July 8, 2022 [6 favorites]
Dinner was the major event of the day, always at six, and always fully attended. My Mom did the cooking, and just before 6 she'd call out "SUPPAH!" and wherever we were in the house or yard we all made our way to the table. There was no excuse for missing it other than life-threatening illness. We sat in the same seats every night and still by default emulate this setup when we see each other.
Typical meals were ziti with jarred meat sauce, beans and franks with brown bread, roast pork with applesauce and a veg or two, "kraft dinner" and tuna sandwiches, roast beef with mashed potatoes and peas (the next day the leftover beef would be cubed and served with gravy on white bread!), pork chops, cube steak, roast chicken with stove-top stuffing... all pretty basic but pretty hearty stuff. Every meal ended with a salad of iceberg, cukes, tomatoes, sometimes olives or onions and dressing from a jar. Usually no dessert but sometimes there was jello, canned fruit, or if available a melon. On more special occasions we'd have fancier pasta like ravioli or gnocchi with things like braciole, meatballs, sausage, or fried eggplant. Or pot roast! I loved pot roast. Summer weekends Dad might grill burgers or steaks, and was always trying to find the very best butter and sugar corn from local stands. Once in a while my Mom would try something new and different which could range from French onion soup to escargot. Sometimes we'd have "Chinese food" which meant she had been to the La Choy aisle and bought some of cans of slimy chow mein, water chestnuts, and fried noodles which we'd have swimming in soy sauce and maybe even with fortune cookies if she felt extra fancy.
My Dad really set the tone which was that dinner should be on time and predictable - preferably something we've had before prepared exactly the same way using the same brands of ingredients. Anything out of the ordinary was looked on very skeptically and maybe nibbled at and criticized but there better also be "real food" served along with it. An event like switching brands of salad dressing was a major milestone. In their later years their roles reversed - my Dad started cooking and liked to change things up. He'd put raisins in the meatballs, or cook the pork to a different temperature, something like that. If it was too radical, my Mom would just cook herself spaghetti with cheese and butter.
"Seconds" were first come first served, and my Dad ate FAST. So if you wanted more, you had to be even faster. I still wolf my food down as if coming off a hunger strike.
If anything funny or interesting happened at work my Dad would tell us about it. A lot of the stories had to do with power struggles ending in somebody being fired. Or if he felt like it he'd "lecture" on various topics like R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y or maybe some boring stuff related to politics that I tuned out. At this point the older three had lots going on: college plans, finding dates for dances, getting into mild to moderate trouble, so there'd be a lot of talk about those things. My parents would often say "children should be seen and not heard" but actually we could talk pretty openly about nearly anything, although you always ran the risk of a lecture. Arguments between my parents were also pretty common, usually about how best to react to whatever us kids were doing wrong.
One of the older three would clear the table, scraping the plates into a paper bag set on one of the chairs. We didn't generally do leftovers. My Mom would wash the dishes. I was about six at the time so I got out of most chores but sometimes I'd help set the table.
On St. Patrick's day my Mom would play some old Irish records and we might have corned beef for dinner but that was about as Irish as it got.
posted by steveminutillo at 10:50 AM on July 8, 2022 [6 favorites]
I guess I'll chime in since I haven't seen all of the things that I remember.
My dad's family is very Irish Catholic. I am the youngest of 4. We were solidly middle class while I was growing up; I would even say upper middle class once the oldest two were out of the house because money stretched farther (so the youngest two went to Catholic school, for instance).
Everybody was home at dinner. Dad came home from his office job at 5:30. Mom was sometimes home, sometimes working (she was a nurse). Dad relaxed for maybe a half hour and then made dinner. He likes cooking. He made lots of steamed vegetables, meat main dish, and usually a starch - potato/rice (and always store bought bread available if you finished dinner and were still hungry). In the summer, dinner was more "here are 8 vegetables I found at the farmers market or in the garden so this is what we're eating, oh and here are some peaches for dessert, and chicken main dish" and in the winter it was "here's spaghetti and salad" or "pork chops and 2 veggies" instead of the 8 in the summer. Tacos were a regular occurrence - I didn't like the hard shells, we never had soft shells, so I ate taco salads. If you didn't like what was served, too bad, that was dinner. There was not often dessert, but there were always store bought cookies in the cupboard.
If Mom was cooking, it was fish sticks, mac and cheese (with chicken or tuna and peas and onions sometimes), broccoli cheddar soup, lentil soup, spinach casserole. There are a few very specific dishes that I associate with her cooking. She does not like cooking.
Beverages: skim milk. We drank a gallon a day.
Like other people have mentioned, food was bland. BLAND. My brother has commented on this recently. My parents are intentionally on a low-salt diet but the rest is just because they like boring familiar food. Also like other people have mentioned, eat fast. And yes you must ask to be excused. And you had to be nice to your siblings at the table.
Take out: pizza on Friday nights, Chinese food on Christmas Eve (and some Saturdays when I was older).
Eating out: Italian food if my grandparents were taking us out. For birthdays, we sometimes went to Shoneys because I think they had a free birthday dinner or something. Usually birthdays were at home and we got to pick all the meals for the day. I picked baked spaghetti most of the time. Don't think I picked a veggie side dish.
Dishes: everybody takes theirs to the kitchen and takes turns helping dry and put away after mom washes. We had a dishwasher but it was rarely used.
Prayer: Definitely grace before every dinner.
Fridays: Definitely meatless on Fridays. Hence pizza.
Conversations: what did you have for lunch, what did you do at school today, and one of my earliest dinner memories is pulling out the trip tiks from AAA and my parents planning a 3-week road trip. The road trip happened when I was 5, so the planning must have happened around age 3-4.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 11:24 AM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
My dad's family is very Irish Catholic. I am the youngest of 4. We were solidly middle class while I was growing up; I would even say upper middle class once the oldest two were out of the house because money stretched farther (so the youngest two went to Catholic school, for instance).
Everybody was home at dinner. Dad came home from his office job at 5:30. Mom was sometimes home, sometimes working (she was a nurse). Dad relaxed for maybe a half hour and then made dinner. He likes cooking. He made lots of steamed vegetables, meat main dish, and usually a starch - potato/rice (and always store bought bread available if you finished dinner and were still hungry). In the summer, dinner was more "here are 8 vegetables I found at the farmers market or in the garden so this is what we're eating, oh and here are some peaches for dessert, and chicken main dish" and in the winter it was "here's spaghetti and salad" or "pork chops and 2 veggies" instead of the 8 in the summer. Tacos were a regular occurrence - I didn't like the hard shells, we never had soft shells, so I ate taco salads. If you didn't like what was served, too bad, that was dinner. There was not often dessert, but there were always store bought cookies in the cupboard.
If Mom was cooking, it was fish sticks, mac and cheese (with chicken or tuna and peas and onions sometimes), broccoli cheddar soup, lentil soup, spinach casserole. There are a few very specific dishes that I associate with her cooking. She does not like cooking.
Beverages: skim milk. We drank a gallon a day.
Like other people have mentioned, food was bland. BLAND. My brother has commented on this recently. My parents are intentionally on a low-salt diet but the rest is just because they like boring familiar food. Also like other people have mentioned, eat fast. And yes you must ask to be excused. And you had to be nice to your siblings at the table.
Take out: pizza on Friday nights, Chinese food on Christmas Eve (and some Saturdays when I was older).
Eating out: Italian food if my grandparents were taking us out. For birthdays, we sometimes went to Shoneys because I think they had a free birthday dinner or something. Usually birthdays were at home and we got to pick all the meals for the day. I picked baked spaghetti most of the time. Don't think I picked a veggie side dish.
Dishes: everybody takes theirs to the kitchen and takes turns helping dry and put away after mom washes. We had a dishwasher but it was rarely used.
Prayer: Definitely grace before every dinner.
Fridays: Definitely meatless on Fridays. Hence pizza.
Conversations: what did you have for lunch, what did you do at school today, and one of my earliest dinner memories is pulling out the trip tiks from AAA and my parents planning a 3-week road trip. The road trip happened when I was 5, so the planning must have happened around age 3-4.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 11:24 AM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
Oh, yes: I don't think we actually went hungry, but there was never a time when you just got as much as you wanted to eat. Definitely prompted some bad eating habits later in life.
posted by praemunire at 11:58 AM on July 8, 2022
posted by praemunire at 11:58 AM on July 8, 2022
Response by poster: Thanks, everyone, these are great. Keep them coming. The only reason I asked about Irish adults in the household was for cuisine reasons—what kinds of things would a person from Ireland have cooked for a large family in the 80s with access to American ingredients?
posted by corey flood at 12:17 PM on July 8, 2022
posted by corey flood at 12:17 PM on July 8, 2022
I knew a Catholic family with one parent from Ireland, one born in the U.S., and eight kids. Everyone in the family had a turn to cook dinner, even if that meant that the whole family ate PB&J because it was the 8-year-old's turn to cook. I don't remember what age the kids would start "cooking," so age 8 is a conservative guess (could have been younger, like 6, and/or maybe an older sibling would help the youngest kids when it was their turn). Meals were simple, ingredients were sourced from Sam's Club, everyone ate together at a huge table in the kitchen.
posted by TrixieRamble at 12:25 PM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by TrixieRamble at 12:25 PM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
I come from a large family of Irish descent, and I grew up in the 80's. I'm one of 6 kids. The scenario described by others upthread is consistent with our household: Mom & Dad at opposite ends of the table, with the 6 of us filling out the middle. Mom didn't work and cooked the meals. Dad worked. He would get home at 5 and wanted his dinner immediately. Meals I remember include:
- Hotdogs and hamburgers
- fish sticks and frozen or canned peas & carrots
- Shake & Bake chicken and baked potatoes
- Spaghetti & meatballs
- lasagna
- MILK. So much milk. Kids drinking enough milk was A BIG DEAL at that time. I'd get a glass of 8 to 12 oz. milk with every meal and was expected to drink all of it, or I couldn't leave the table.
Stories I remember:
- One time my mom was preparing fish sticks. She had all the plates laid out with two fish sticks each. My little brother (around 5 at the time) came into the kitchen and asked, "what's for dinner?", gazing at the plates of fish sticks. "Fish sticks," replied my mom. My brother made a face and said, "Well, I don't like fish sticks, and I'm not going to eat any. All I'm going to eat is the two giant french fries." My mother masterfully slumped her shoulders, heaved a sigh, and replied, "Well... okay. You don't have to eat the fish sticks. You only have to eat the french fries."
- One time my parents were struggling financially and gave us powdered milk without telling us. I guess it went on for a while, but eventually I discovered a clump of undissolved powdered milk in my glass and the jig was up. Thinking back on that, I know now that raising us was so hard for them.
I have other stories, those are just a few.
posted by cleverevans at 12:49 PM on July 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
- Hotdogs and hamburgers
- fish sticks and frozen or canned peas & carrots
- Shake & Bake chicken and baked potatoes
- Spaghetti & meatballs
- lasagna
- MILK. So much milk. Kids drinking enough milk was A BIG DEAL at that time. I'd get a glass of 8 to 12 oz. milk with every meal and was expected to drink all of it, or I couldn't leave the table.
Stories I remember:
- One time my mom was preparing fish sticks. She had all the plates laid out with two fish sticks each. My little brother (around 5 at the time) came into the kitchen and asked, "what's for dinner?", gazing at the plates of fish sticks. "Fish sticks," replied my mom. My brother made a face and said, "Well, I don't like fish sticks, and I'm not going to eat any. All I'm going to eat is the two giant french fries." My mother masterfully slumped her shoulders, heaved a sigh, and replied, "Well... okay. You don't have to eat the fish sticks. You only have to eat the french fries."
- One time my parents were struggling financially and gave us powdered milk without telling us. I guess it went on for a while, but eventually I discovered a clump of undissolved powdered milk in my glass and the jig was up. Thinking back on that, I know now that raising us was so hard for them.
I have other stories, those are just a few.
posted by cleverevans at 12:49 PM on July 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
Remember that, especially outside of certain enclaves, what the parents would've had access to to use as ingredients outside of "regular American foods" would've been shockingly limited. It's not like today when a suburban Korean family might actually have a fighting chance of being within driving distance of an H-Mart. My mom is from a Polish family and the most "ethnic" we ever got, or really could get, was supermarket kielbasa and canned sauerkraut.
One time my parents were struggling financially and gave us powdered milk without telling us. I guess it went on for a while, but eventually I discovered a clump of undissolved powdered milk in my glass and the jig was up.
Lumpy milk. One of the traumas of being of that socioeconomic status of that time. I still remember the yellow pitcher we used to mix it up.
posted by praemunire at 12:59 PM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
One time my parents were struggling financially and gave us powdered milk without telling us. I guess it went on for a while, but eventually I discovered a clump of undissolved powdered milk in my glass and the jig was up.
Lumpy milk. One of the traumas of being of that socioeconomic status of that time. I still remember the yellow pitcher we used to mix it up.
posted by praemunire at 12:59 PM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
Haha here's mine. It's super-long, forgive me. And it only semi-fits what you're asking for: the family is English not Irish, immigrated to Canada not the United States, and there are only three kids.
From 1979 to 1984 my best friend was a kid whose family were working-class recent immigrants from northern England. Mom (a nurse) + Dad (some kind of mechanic?) plus three girls preteen and younger.
Here's what their evening meals were like. (I am calling it dinner, but I think they called it supper.)
On weekdays, dinner was served at 5, or 5.30 at the latest. They ate at a round table in the kitchen with a lime green flowered plastic tablecloth. There was no TV in the kitchen, but sometimes the TV was left on in the living room so people could hear it, especially if there was a big sports event happening. Everyone ate the same thing.
The mother did all the cooking, and it was very clearly a chore, not fun. She was always stressed out and in a hurry. She made things like Hamburger Helper, shepherd's pie, tuna casserole, and other casseroles that had tinned soup as their base. Sometimes she made hamburgers, or meatloaf, or sausages with mashed potatoes, or tinned corned beef fried with potatoes and onions. Every now and then she made liver with onions, which was her favourite thing but the kids didn't like it. I think Fridays were meatless and that was usually fish sticks.
There was never any salad, and very few vegetables. Mostly it was meat and potatoes.
They had a little rack thing that sat on the table and held salt and pepper shakers. There was a chunk of butter on a saucer. Often somebody put ketchup, Worcestershire, or HP sauce on the table, although if people put too much sauce on things, the mother didn't like it. (I don't think she felt it was an insult to her cooking; I think she thought it was tacky.) There was usually a loaf of white sandwich bread on the kitchen counter, and people would use bread and butter to sop up anything liquidy on their plates.
Every Sunday, the family had a big meal in the middle of the afternoon. Well-done roast beef, with gravy and homemade Yorkshire pudding, tinned green beans, mashed potatoes, and white bread. It was a big deal: everybody was excited about Sunday dinner every week. The father carved the roast.
They always had dessert. On Sundays it was sometimes trifle I think, made with Cool Whip, jam, and angel food cake from the supermarket. On weekdays, it was things like frozen McCains or Pepperidge Farm cakes, or ice cream with chocolate sauce, or a sort of homemade "cheesecake" that was popular back then, that was made with a graham cracker base, canned cherry pie filling and (I think) sour cream mixed with cream cheese. There would usually be some cookies on a plate too, and sometimes a box of chocolates. Sometimes the kids made jello but that was a "treat" outside of meals and wasn't served for dessert.
The mother drank only tea. The father drank one bottle of beer and then switched to tea. The kids drank milk, and during lean times back then, yeah, the milk was powdered.
The mother didn't clean up while she cooked, so the kitchen was a mess during dinner. She put the food on plates and put them on the table, and then she'd start yelling for people to come to dinner "before it got cold." She used to have to yell a bunch of times before everybody would show up at the table. Everybody was responsible for getting their own cutlery, and their own drinks.
It was normal to have guests: I stayed for dinner at least a few times a week, and often the other kids would have friends there too. Anybody around at dinnertime was expected to come eat.
If we sat down at 5, we'd be done by 5.30. In my memory the dinner conversation was mostly logistical stuff, like about the parents' work schedules and who needed the car when. The mother also reminded the kids about school stuff (tests, homework, sports things). Sometimes one of the kids would be grounded, and if so there would be a reminder about what the restrictions were and when they would expire.
But that was during the main meal. Once the dessert came out, it was like a second different phase to dinner, and everybody was more relaxed. The mother would ask the kids about other kids' families, and the kids would talk about school and sports.
The mother was definitely the disciplinarian and the centre of everything. The father felt mostly absent to me; I barely remember him speaking, ever.
There was no dishwasher. We all carried our plates to the sink. Nobody had to ask permission to leave, and I don't remember anybody ever having to finish anything they didn't like. (I think if they didn't eat something, their parents would finish it.) The father would leave to go watch TV. The oldest kid washed the dishes, the middle kid dried them, and the littlest one put them away.
posted by Susan PG at 2:50 PM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
From 1979 to 1984 my best friend was a kid whose family were working-class recent immigrants from northern England. Mom (a nurse) + Dad (some kind of mechanic?) plus three girls preteen and younger.
Here's what their evening meals were like. (I am calling it dinner, but I think they called it supper.)
On weekdays, dinner was served at 5, or 5.30 at the latest. They ate at a round table in the kitchen with a lime green flowered plastic tablecloth. There was no TV in the kitchen, but sometimes the TV was left on in the living room so people could hear it, especially if there was a big sports event happening. Everyone ate the same thing.
The mother did all the cooking, and it was very clearly a chore, not fun. She was always stressed out and in a hurry. She made things like Hamburger Helper, shepherd's pie, tuna casserole, and other casseroles that had tinned soup as their base. Sometimes she made hamburgers, or meatloaf, or sausages with mashed potatoes, or tinned corned beef fried with potatoes and onions. Every now and then she made liver with onions, which was her favourite thing but the kids didn't like it. I think Fridays were meatless and that was usually fish sticks.
There was never any salad, and very few vegetables. Mostly it was meat and potatoes.
They had a little rack thing that sat on the table and held salt and pepper shakers. There was a chunk of butter on a saucer. Often somebody put ketchup, Worcestershire, or HP sauce on the table, although if people put too much sauce on things, the mother didn't like it. (I don't think she felt it was an insult to her cooking; I think she thought it was tacky.) There was usually a loaf of white sandwich bread on the kitchen counter, and people would use bread and butter to sop up anything liquidy on their plates.
Every Sunday, the family had a big meal in the middle of the afternoon. Well-done roast beef, with gravy and homemade Yorkshire pudding, tinned green beans, mashed potatoes, and white bread. It was a big deal: everybody was excited about Sunday dinner every week. The father carved the roast.
They always had dessert. On Sundays it was sometimes trifle I think, made with Cool Whip, jam, and angel food cake from the supermarket. On weekdays, it was things like frozen McCains or Pepperidge Farm cakes, or ice cream with chocolate sauce, or a sort of homemade "cheesecake" that was popular back then, that was made with a graham cracker base, canned cherry pie filling and (I think) sour cream mixed with cream cheese. There would usually be some cookies on a plate too, and sometimes a box of chocolates. Sometimes the kids made jello but that was a "treat" outside of meals and wasn't served for dessert.
The mother drank only tea. The father drank one bottle of beer and then switched to tea. The kids drank milk, and during lean times back then, yeah, the milk was powdered.
The mother didn't clean up while she cooked, so the kitchen was a mess during dinner. She put the food on plates and put them on the table, and then she'd start yelling for people to come to dinner "before it got cold." She used to have to yell a bunch of times before everybody would show up at the table. Everybody was responsible for getting their own cutlery, and their own drinks.
It was normal to have guests: I stayed for dinner at least a few times a week, and often the other kids would have friends there too. Anybody around at dinnertime was expected to come eat.
If we sat down at 5, we'd be done by 5.30. In my memory the dinner conversation was mostly logistical stuff, like about the parents' work schedules and who needed the car when. The mother also reminded the kids about school stuff (tests, homework, sports things). Sometimes one of the kids would be grounded, and if so there would be a reminder about what the restrictions were and when they would expire.
But that was during the main meal. Once the dessert came out, it was like a second different phase to dinner, and everybody was more relaxed. The mother would ask the kids about other kids' families, and the kids would talk about school and sports.
The mother was definitely the disciplinarian and the centre of everything. The father felt mostly absent to me; I barely remember him speaking, ever.
There was no dishwasher. We all carried our plates to the sink. Nobody had to ask permission to leave, and I don't remember anybody ever having to finish anything they didn't like. (I think if they didn't eat something, their parents would finish it.) The father would leave to go watch TV. The oldest kid washed the dishes, the middle kid dried them, and the littlest one put them away.
posted by Susan PG at 2:50 PM on July 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
In my Irish-American family in the 1980s we absolutely had to finish everything on our plate or sit there until we finished. This led to some battle of the wills and I remember sitting alone long after everyone had finished staring at my peas (microwaved from frozen). When my older sister went through an anti-potato phase we would sometimes find baked potatoes she had hidden instead of eaten in places like a radiator or on a windowsill. We had to say "may I please be excused" before leaving the table if we finished before my parents (which we normally did). Conversation was usually about school or joking around/teasing amongst siblings. Common meals were spaghetti, some sort of baked/roasted/broiled meat plus potato plus veg (usually frozen green beans or peas, the favorite was broccoli in cheese sauce), occasionally lasagna, my favorite was a "Mexican chicken" which was basically chicken with salsa and cheese on top baked in the oven with rice instead of potatoes. Meat was typically what was on special at the grocery store and when there was a good deal my parents would buy in bulk and freeze. One time my dad tried to feed us tongue but we realized what it was an refused to eat it and actually got away with that (as I suspect my mom wasn't a fan either). My dad was from southern California and he cooked about once a week and would make tacos (with ground beef), chili, or sometimes a chili Verde with pork and potatoes. The Mexican fare was very unusual for Irish Americans in Boston and my grandparents from my mothers side would never eat it. My mom cooked about 6 nights a week and when my older sister was in high school she cooked about twice a month and always made tuna noodle casserole. Sometime we ate lamb which my non-Irish friends thought was weird. Fish on Friday during lent. Grace at the start every night (very quick
Catholic style). Advent wreath and candles on the table during advent. Hot dogs/hamburgers during summer. When relatives from rural Ireland visited during the late 90s my mom made spaghetti and one of them had never had it before, which blew our minds. They loved boiling up a big pot of potatoes and eating them with butter and salt alongside meat or salmon. The beverage was milk for the kids and beer or wine for the parents (just one each). Dessert was almost every night and usually a bowl of ice cream (from the square cardboard boxes you get at the grocery store)- often we ate our ice cream in front of the TV. Dinner was always at the kitchen table with everyone in attendance and sometimes a kid's friend. The dining room was only for holidays or if we had adult company. I know I didn't exactly answer your question as my parents were not born in Ireland (they were first/second gen) but seems like most people above didn't either! In general the vibe was relaxed but noisy, I still love family dinners and feel like a heathen now that I eat dinner on the couch like 90% of the time.
posted by emd3737 at 7:08 PM on July 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
Catholic style). Advent wreath and candles on the table during advent. Hot dogs/hamburgers during summer. When relatives from rural Ireland visited during the late 90s my mom made spaghetti and one of them had never had it before, which blew our minds. They loved boiling up a big pot of potatoes and eating them with butter and salt alongside meat or salmon. The beverage was milk for the kids and beer or wine for the parents (just one each). Dessert was almost every night and usually a bowl of ice cream (from the square cardboard boxes you get at the grocery store)- often we ate our ice cream in front of the TV. Dinner was always at the kitchen table with everyone in attendance and sometimes a kid's friend. The dining room was only for holidays or if we had adult company. I know I didn't exactly answer your question as my parents were not born in Ireland (they were first/second gen) but seems like most people above didn't either! In general the vibe was relaxed but noisy, I still love family dinners and feel like a heathen now that I eat dinner on the couch like 90% of the time.
posted by emd3737 at 7:08 PM on July 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
I grew up in the 90s with an Irish-American stepmother and a family of 6 kids, if that's close enough.
She did all the cooking, unless she wasn't home for dinner, in which case my dad busted out his one meal. You ate what she served, except on your birthday, when you got to pick the meal. Nothing was served family style, probably because she thought it would have been too chaotic. She would make a plate and hand it to you, but pull it back at the last minute if you didn't say thank you soon enough. You could ask for seconds if you finished in time, but if you didn't say please, she'd pretend she couldn't hear you. This was deeply aggravating at the time, but I can't say it wasn't effective. My step brother's job was to set the table, mine was to clear it, and my dad did the dishes. The other kids must have had different chores. One side of the table had a bench instead of chairs.
Our parents were a bit hippieish, and into health food. I remember her being a good cook. She made split pea soup, sausage and peppers, tofu, spaghetti, chicken fricassee, and rice pilaf. You could have water or apple juice, but you had to water the apple juice down so we didn't go through a quart at every meal. I've never been able to stomach straight fruit juice since. She drank diet Pepsi and my dad drank a Sam Adams, both of which were equally unavailable to the kids. Dessert was rare. We almost never went out to eat (probably some combination of money and our numerous behavioral issues). I got to pick out a bag of chips on a road trip and it being a huge deal. Snacking between meals wasn't allowed, unless it was from the fruit bowl, full of mediocre fruit. I was a picky kid and I remember being hungry a fair bit. I once got in trouble for secretly eating cookies in the bathroom.
My youngest brother is autistic and has a very limited diet, so that threw a wrench in everything at the end. All the rules went out the window in service of getting food into him. He still lives with them and is apparently a very annoying person to share a kitchen with, which gives me a certain amount of satisfaction, given how rigidly food was controlled growing up.
posted by umwelt at 7:47 PM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
She did all the cooking, unless she wasn't home for dinner, in which case my dad busted out his one meal. You ate what she served, except on your birthday, when you got to pick the meal. Nothing was served family style, probably because she thought it would have been too chaotic. She would make a plate and hand it to you, but pull it back at the last minute if you didn't say thank you soon enough. You could ask for seconds if you finished in time, but if you didn't say please, she'd pretend she couldn't hear you. This was deeply aggravating at the time, but I can't say it wasn't effective. My step brother's job was to set the table, mine was to clear it, and my dad did the dishes. The other kids must have had different chores. One side of the table had a bench instead of chairs.
Our parents were a bit hippieish, and into health food. I remember her being a good cook. She made split pea soup, sausage and peppers, tofu, spaghetti, chicken fricassee, and rice pilaf. You could have water or apple juice, but you had to water the apple juice down so we didn't go through a quart at every meal. I've never been able to stomach straight fruit juice since. She drank diet Pepsi and my dad drank a Sam Adams, both of which were equally unavailable to the kids. Dessert was rare. We almost never went out to eat (probably some combination of money and our numerous behavioral issues). I got to pick out a bag of chips on a road trip and it being a huge deal. Snacking between meals wasn't allowed, unless it was from the fruit bowl, full of mediocre fruit. I was a picky kid and I remember being hungry a fair bit. I once got in trouble for secretly eating cookies in the bathroom.
My youngest brother is autistic and has a very limited diet, so that threw a wrench in everything at the end. All the rules went out the window in service of getting food into him. He still lives with them and is apparently a very annoying person to share a kitchen with, which gives me a certain amount of satisfaction, given how rigidly food was controlled growing up.
posted by umwelt at 7:47 PM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
In the 1980s, I used to have dinner once a week among a family of 4 kids plus 2/3 cousins, so 6-7 kids plus parents. One parent was English and the other wasn’t but had lived in England for a while before coming to North America, and they were Catholic and lower middle class.
They didn’t seem to really enjoy kids much so the rule was “children should be seen and not heard,” and kids were not encouraged to speak at all.
The mom loudly called everyone to dinner, everyone ran to wash hands and tie back hair, and if you weren’t at the table within about 2 minutes you got yelled at for dawdling. Everyone murmured grace (“bless us oh lord in these thy gifts which we are about to receive in thy bounty through Christ our Lord” followed by a Hail Mary.)
Kids had to eat with knife and fork held properly, and elbows tucked tight enough to hold a book against the ribs (around age 6 this was officially taught).
The food was in white Corningware bowls placed on woven straw trivets. There was a cloth tablecloth with a permanent plastic tablecloth beneath it to protect a 1970s teak table.
Nobody drank liquids with meals because “it will make your food float”.
Breakfast was white toast with butter. For a while margarine was more en vogue.
No salt at the table for health reasons.
Lunch and dinner sometimes involved a large piece of meat (a ham or whole bird) cut with an electric knife.
You were expected to have some of everything and “clear your plate” (ie, eat it all).
Dessert was ice cream that came in a big plastic bucket, a slice of homemade loaf cake, or a homemade trifle on special occasions. The adults drank tea with milk after a lot of meals.
Manners were strictly enforced and you had to say “May I be excused to get down from the table” at the end.
The Mom would get up to get extra things if needed; the Dad never did. The older girls cleared the table and usually did the dishes by hand even though there was a dishwasher because “it wasted too much water”.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:32 PM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
They didn’t seem to really enjoy kids much so the rule was “children should be seen and not heard,” and kids were not encouraged to speak at all.
The mom loudly called everyone to dinner, everyone ran to wash hands and tie back hair, and if you weren’t at the table within about 2 minutes you got yelled at for dawdling. Everyone murmured grace (“bless us oh lord in these thy gifts which we are about to receive in thy bounty through Christ our Lord” followed by a Hail Mary.)
Kids had to eat with knife and fork held properly, and elbows tucked tight enough to hold a book against the ribs (around age 6 this was officially taught).
The food was in white Corningware bowls placed on woven straw trivets. There was a cloth tablecloth with a permanent plastic tablecloth beneath it to protect a 1970s teak table.
Nobody drank liquids with meals because “it will make your food float”.
Breakfast was white toast with butter. For a while margarine was more en vogue.
No salt at the table for health reasons.
Lunch and dinner sometimes involved a large piece of meat (a ham or whole bird) cut with an electric knife.
You were expected to have some of everything and “clear your plate” (ie, eat it all).
Dessert was ice cream that came in a big plastic bucket, a slice of homemade loaf cake, or a homemade trifle on special occasions. The adults drank tea with milk after a lot of meals.
Manners were strictly enforced and you had to say “May I be excused to get down from the table” at the end.
The Mom would get up to get extra things if needed; the Dad never did. The older girls cleared the table and usually did the dishes by hand even though there was a dishwasher because “it wasted too much water”.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:32 PM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
My large family with 7 kids grew up in the 70s, and the Irish was several generations back. Reading these posts is almost identical to how I grew up, so close that I had to dig deep to find a detail that wasn't mine. 2 big differences:
1. In our house kids did chores. The kitchen was divided into 3 chores. 1. Clear the table and wash it. 2. Unload and load the dishwasher. 3. Clean the counters, wash pots that didn't fit in the dishwasher, sweep the floor. Tiny kids unloaded the silverware. Those were rotated around on a complie schedule that was hung up on the cabinet. You were responsible for trading if you were going to be out on your night. When we got a little older... 7 kids, 7 days in the week. One person cleaned the whole kitchen on their day.
2. All of the kids could bake! We had dessert almost every day.
posted by CathyG at 9:08 PM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
1. In our house kids did chores. The kitchen was divided into 3 chores. 1. Clear the table and wash it. 2. Unload and load the dishwasher. 3. Clean the counters, wash pots that didn't fit in the dishwasher, sweep the floor. Tiny kids unloaded the silverware. Those were rotated around on a complie schedule that was hung up on the cabinet. You were responsible for trading if you were going to be out on your night. When we got a little older... 7 kids, 7 days in the week. One person cleaned the whole kitchen on their day.
2. All of the kids could bake! We had dessert almost every day.
posted by CathyG at 9:08 PM on July 8, 2022 [2 favorites]
“bless us oh lord in these thy gifts which we are about to receive in thy bounty through Christ our Lord”
...yeah, that's the "fancy" one. (My parents were both raised Catholic but migrated later.)
posted by praemunire at 11:20 PM on July 8, 2022
...yeah, that's the "fancy" one. (My parents were both raised Catholic but migrated later.)
posted by praemunire at 11:20 PM on July 8, 2022
I'm from an Irish American family of 4 growing up inthe 80s in NJ. Praemuniere's post could go for me as well. We ate at 6:30, all around the table, it was non-negotiable. I set the table, mom cooked when she was home but when she returned to work (I was 12) I began doing dinner prep and eventually cooking. Our rotation was influenced not just by Irish American inheritance but by my folks' travels and our mixed-ethnic local context; we ate tacos a lot, and we ate spaghetti a lot. Other than that, baked potatoes with sliced ham and frozen broccoli; convenience foods like chicken croquettes or cutlets with salad and mashed potatoes; pork chops; rice mixed with sausage and bell peppers, sides of peas, carrots, spinach, corn (from frozen); in the summer, Schickhaus franks with sliced tomato salad and corn on the cob, or deli cold cuts with chips and pickles. One big place we really got the dose of Irish-Americanness was Sunday dinner, invariably at my grandmother's. Her standard was a roast beef with horseradish, mashed potatoes and/or turnips, brussels sprouts, but also this meal could be ham, roast pork, etc - some big hunk of meat with vegetable sides.
Chores: My brother and I cleared (with my mom's help at times), did the dishes and put them away and cleaned the kitchen. The folks went into the living room to read the papers/magazines and watch TV, or sat on the porch in the summer.
Rules: I wasn't allowed to read at the table, to my great frustration. No toys at dinner. No feeding the dog from the table (a rule of often surreptitiously violated). I wasn't allowed to put my elbows on the table. We didn't have to ask to be excused, my parents thought that was needlessly controlling. No sibling fighting, of course. Decent table manners were expected.
posted by Miko at 10:56 AM on July 10, 2022 [1 favorite]
Chores: My brother and I cleared (with my mom's help at times), did the dishes and put them away and cleaned the kitchen. The folks went into the living room to read the papers/magazines and watch TV, or sat on the porch in the summer.
Rules: I wasn't allowed to read at the table, to my great frustration. No toys at dinner. No feeding the dog from the table (a rule of often surreptitiously violated). I wasn't allowed to put my elbows on the table. We didn't have to ask to be excused, my parents thought that was needlessly controlling. No sibling fighting, of course. Decent table manners were expected.
posted by Miko at 10:56 AM on July 10, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by Ms Vegetable at 9:46 AM on July 8, 2022