Best books to offer a friend considering polyamory in 2022?
May 19, 2022 3:14 PM   Subscribe

A friend has asked for help! I’m aware of the ethical slut, but this has been around for a while! What are the best (practical) books on polyamory for a friend and her husband? They’re full of love and compassion. Feminist, trauma informed are good.
posted by The Last Sockpuppet to Writing & Language (5 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
I recently read Martha Kauppi's Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients), and it was sooooo good. Yeah, there are a few things specific to being a therapist, but I thought I was old and jaded and had read everything in the field, and I got so much from it.
posted by straw at 3:35 PM on May 19, 2022 [4 favorites]


Polysecure - Jessica Fern
posted by lloquat at 6:42 PM on May 19, 2022 [10 favorites]


One that I liked was Designer Relationships by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson. The focus is on finding what works for you in your relationship, and it has a lot of great ideas that can be applied to any kind of relationship.

Another place I sometimes look for the latest in books about poly/non-monogamy is at Spectrum Boutique. It's an online sex toy store, but they also have a small but solid selection of books about relationships and sex, and Spectrum Journal (also on the website) has interesting articles, some of which are about poly/ENM.
posted by switcheroo at 10:06 AM on May 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


Honestly I still think The Ethical Slut holds up. It’s not meant to be read cover to cover and some chapters will be more applicable than others.
posted by dazedandconfused at 3:28 PM on May 20, 2022


I really like Tristan Taormino's Opening Up, particularly for the examples of specific questions couples considering polyamory should ask each other.

+1 to Polysecure, too--definitely trauma-informed, since it focuses on attachment theory models and polyamory.

For something that focuses more on building relationships to work for the needs of the people in them and less on polyamory specifically, Sex from Scratch is great. I recommend this because it's a good idea for anyone considering non-monogamy--especially an established couple--take some time to learn and think about alternative relationship models that aren't just polyamory. if something about polyamory specifically turns them off or doesn't work out for them, it's good to know that it's not the only option and there aren't set rules that work for everyone.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:13 PM on May 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


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