Executive dysfunction emergency
February 28, 2022 8:08 AM Subscribe
I overcommitted (again), I have way too many things to do, and several of them are intimidating and outside my area of expertise and therefore triggering my perfectionism freeze. I have to write A LOT in the next four days, on several different projects, and I'm totally stuck and just flitting around between a few time-sucking websites (hi!). Please give me fast, easy, actionable ways to break out of this frozen state. Thank you!
In addition to the above, figuring out the Smallest Executable Unit for a given project/task and making myself do that tiny thing helps me start actual work.
I'm talking really, really small -- "opening a document in Word/GDocs" or "clicking Reply in my email client" levels of small.
posted by humbug at 8:19 AM on February 28, 2022 [10 favorites]
I'm talking really, really small -- "opening a document in Word/GDocs" or "clicking Reply in my email client" levels of small.
posted by humbug at 8:19 AM on February 28, 2022 [10 favorites]
I was overwhelmed by a huge stack of scary medical appointments to make.
My new therapist told me that in a fear based situation, don't do the most critical thing. Do the easiest thing. And from there see if it builds confidence and snowballs into more tasks.
Look at what is the smallest, easiest thing to write, and do that.
posted by champers at 8:20 AM on February 28, 2022 [13 favorites]
My new therapist told me that in a fear based situation, don't do the most critical thing. Do the easiest thing. And from there see if it builds confidence and snowballs into more tasks.
Look at what is the smallest, easiest thing to write, and do that.
posted by champers at 8:20 AM on February 28, 2022 [13 favorites]
I find it easier to edit existing text than output new text. If you're really stressing about generating some words, it may help to get a speech-to-text app on your phone or computer and do your best to verbalize some kind of meandering, poorly-structured, semi-coherent version of what you intend to say.
Possibly set a timer and watch the timer, not the output - "I have to talk about teapot spout design for five minutes," for example.
Then you can copy that garbled mess into a text editor, restructure it, and expand it.
When I've gotten into this state, the shittiness of free speech-to-text and the number of words/phrases I have to go in and fix the spelling of or rephrase completely has helped build momentum for more cognitively challenging writing/editing work.
posted by All Might Be Well at 8:21 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
Possibly set a timer and watch the timer, not the output - "I have to talk about teapot spout design for five minutes," for example.
Then you can copy that garbled mess into a text editor, restructure it, and expand it.
When I've gotten into this state, the shittiness of free speech-to-text and the number of words/phrases I have to go in and fix the spelling of or rephrase completely has helped build momentum for more cognitively challenging writing/editing work.
posted by All Might Be Well at 8:21 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
In situations like this, I make a list of all the things I have to do:
* This
* That
* The other
Then, I go through the list and put a star next to the things I most don't want to do.
** This
** That
* The other
Then I go through the starred items and add a star next to the things I most don't want to do out of that list.
** This
*** That
* The other
And once I get to the thing that has the most stars (sometimes it's like eight stars), I do that thing. Everything else is easier after that.
posted by 10ch at 8:21 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
* This
* That
* The other
Then, I go through the list and put a star next to the things I most don't want to do.
** This
** That
* The other
Then I go through the starred items and add a star next to the things I most don't want to do out of that list.
** This
*** That
* The other
And once I get to the thing that has the most stars (sometimes it's like eight stars), I do that thing. Everything else is easier after that.
posted by 10ch at 8:21 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
The first thing I would do in such a situation is to list each project, make a list of the resources I will need for each and begin gathering all the resources I will need for each project. My goal is to create a "stack of work" for each project that I can just plow through. Could be a literal stack of paper, as sometimes I find an organized paper pile easier to manage that multiple computer files.
So, I might print out all pertinent emails and documents, and put them in piles. Make a to do list on paper and put it on top of the pile. Do this for each project. Then just pick one and start working your way through the pile.
You can, of course, just open all the documents on your computer if paper is clunky for you. Make an email folder for each project and move all pertinent emails there. Make a computer folder for each project and move all other pertinent documents and notes and the to-do list there.
The main thing for me is to get organized and make a plan, then just pick a project and go.
I also utilize baby steps when I am in paralysis. So in the above scenario, the steps might be:
Create the email folders you need, then take a short break.
Create the computer folders you need, then take a short break.
Move emails for one project into the corresponding email folder, then take a short break.
Move documents pertaining to that project to the corresponding computer folder, then take a short break.
Etc.
You can do even smaller steps if you need to. I've broken a task down such that "pull up website" was one step. "Find password" was the next step. "Find debit card and put on desk", etc. Steps so tiny they are almost ridiculous, but each one represents progress toward the destination.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:26 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
So, I might print out all pertinent emails and documents, and put them in piles. Make a to do list on paper and put it on top of the pile. Do this for each project. Then just pick one and start working your way through the pile.
You can, of course, just open all the documents on your computer if paper is clunky for you. Make an email folder for each project and move all pertinent emails there. Make a computer folder for each project and move all other pertinent documents and notes and the to-do list there.
The main thing for me is to get organized and make a plan, then just pick a project and go.
I also utilize baby steps when I am in paralysis. So in the above scenario, the steps might be:
Create the email folders you need, then take a short break.
Create the computer folders you need, then take a short break.
Move emails for one project into the corresponding email folder, then take a short break.
Move documents pertaining to that project to the corresponding computer folder, then take a short break.
Etc.
You can do even smaller steps if you need to. I've broken a task down such that "pull up website" was one step. "Find password" was the next step. "Find debit card and put on desk", etc. Steps so tiny they are almost ridiculous, but each one represents progress toward the destination.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:26 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm also overcommitted and feeling a bit overwhelmed this week. To help I've made a list of everything I have to do (including 'life maintenance' things like laundry) and put them in a 'by Mon/by Tues/by Wed/etc. " list. This helps me see how to prioritize all the things, and so far the days don't look too overwhelming individually. Also writing all that down reassured my brain that I haven't forgotten about X so it has stopped screaming 'don't forget about X'. (although it keeps finding other things to bring up, it's ok, thank you for reminding me brain, I've now written it down)
For the things I don't know where to start I'll do what PPs mentioned and focus on carving out focus time. I don't write but I do need to practice a lot and its similar to writing in that you have to do it and you can't always predict how long it'll take to get where you need to and it's easy to just put it off instead of face getting started/general uncertainty of it. For everything else I've picked 3-5 boring but can no longer procrastinate on them tasks and will carve off blocks to plow through them.
I totally use baby steps tasks to help get started, and lots of rewards to myself.
posted by snowymorninblues at 8:36 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
For the things I don't know where to start I'll do what PPs mentioned and focus on carving out focus time. I don't write but I do need to practice a lot and its similar to writing in that you have to do it and you can't always predict how long it'll take to get where you need to and it's easy to just put it off instead of face getting started/general uncertainty of it. For everything else I've picked 3-5 boring but can no longer procrastinate on them tasks and will carve off blocks to plow through them.
I totally use baby steps tasks to help get started, and lots of rewards to myself.
posted by snowymorninblues at 8:36 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
I wholeheartedly recommend FocusMate!
You schedule 25- or 50-minute sessions in which you are paired with someone else for a zoom-like call. You start the call by saying what you are going to do ("I'm going to write the beginning of chapter 1"), then you both put yourself on mute and work. At the end of the session, you un mute and report back to each other ("I got ten paragraphs written and started on the next session.").
The free membership (no credit card needed) allows you to do three sessions a week. The paid membership allows unlimited sessions and costs $5/month.
I'm pretty cranky about this sort of thing but have found it to be incredibly helpful.
posted by mcduff at 8:43 AM on February 28, 2022 [12 favorites]
You schedule 25- or 50-minute sessions in which you are paired with someone else for a zoom-like call. You start the call by saying what you are going to do ("I'm going to write the beginning of chapter 1"), then you both put yourself on mute and work. At the end of the session, you un mute and report back to each other ("I got ten paragraphs written and started on the next session.").
The free membership (no credit card needed) allows you to do three sessions a week. The paid membership allows unlimited sessions and costs $5/month.
I'm pretty cranky about this sort of thing but have found it to be incredibly helpful.
posted by mcduff at 8:43 AM on February 28, 2022 [12 favorites]
For the intimidating, out of your zone stuff: sometimes it helps me to draft a note before starting, explaining my insecurities/concerns around the work, apologizing for any mistakes, and promising I'll do my best. This somehow relieves my mind of perfectionism so I can actually do the thing. Once I have actually done the thing, I'll review the note and most of the time, I can dismiss nearly all of what I wrote as irrelevant to the final product. If any real concerns remain, I'll address them with the stakeholders along with the work in progress.
Good luck, you can do it!
posted by prewar lemonade at 8:47 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
Good luck, you can do it!
posted by prewar lemonade at 8:47 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
Outside of the box - is there one or two of your commitments that you feel comfortable going back to and asking for an extension? Just a quick one or two line ask: "Hey XYZ, I'm so sorry, but I've overcommitted my time this week. Would it be ok if I got you ABC by Monday instead of Wednesday?" Even just one extension can give you quite the breathing room to let you focus on the other tasks.
The other option is punting - get a bit done on a project and send it back to the other person for approval. "Am I on the right track..." This gets it off your plate for a bit, and still shows some progress. Plus when it comes back, it's already partially done!
posted by hydra77 at 9:03 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
The other option is punting - get a bit done on a project and send it back to the other person for approval. "Am I on the right track..." This gets it off your plate for a bit, and still shows some progress. Plus when it comes back, it's already partially done!
posted by hydra77 at 9:03 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
Similar to FocusMate, do you know anybody else who needs to Get Shit Done right now and will get on some kind of chat with you for passive accountability and occasional cheerleading? This is called "body doubling" in adhd/neurodivergence parlance and is one of the few things that really reliably works every time for me.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:15 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by Lyn Never at 9:15 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
Set a timer for fifteen seconds and pick the first EASY segment of a task in that time. Then set a timer for ten minutes and do it. Don’t second guess your choice. As soon as the ten minutes are up, stop, even if you’re in the middle of something. If you finish before ten minutes, pick another small sub task and do that until time’s up. Do the first thing that comes to mind. Afterwards, take a tiny break, like three minutes. Repeat this process until you have some perspective on one of your larger tasks, then extend the timer for longer and longer times. Having company can be very helpful, too. Don’t forget to take breaks, and as your work time extends take longer breaks in between. The policy of just stopping once the timer is up is actually to show you how much stuff you can get done in a segment of time, it can be very different than you think when in the throws of anxiety. Also it cuts into the intimidation somewhat, since you know you can stop cold at a fixed time.
Also if you are one of the many bazillions of folks with ADHD that respond well to caffeine, just fucking go for it dude.
posted by Mizu at 9:42 AM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
Also if you are one of the many bazillions of folks with ADHD that respond well to caffeine, just fucking go for it dude.
posted by Mizu at 9:42 AM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
YMMV, but you can put on some TV or Youtube for background noise if it helps. It's not the best for focused study, but if it helps take the mental edge off starting something then that's all it needs to be.
I'm not sure what your situation is, but you may also consider sending a quick email asking for extensions or something. It doesn't need to be a sob story, just a quick "I'm running a bit behind, would it be possible to..." Think about it from their point of view: what kind of communication would it be helpful for them to have from you about your situation, and what deadlines they themselves might be up against.
If you start on a task, make sure you know that you are starting on the task and not finishing it until later. That will lighten the pressure to perfect. "Okay, I'll just do some preliminary bullet points for this, and make notes of things I need to add so I'll get to them later."
Have a friend sit with you, even just in the same room or on a Zoom call, like Lyn Never mentioned above. Don't spend too much talking about what you will do; just have them on the line and know that they can see you.
Order delivery.
posted by miniraptor at 10:13 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure what your situation is, but you may also consider sending a quick email asking for extensions or something. It doesn't need to be a sob story, just a quick "I'm running a bit behind, would it be possible to..." Think about it from their point of view: what kind of communication would it be helpful for them to have from you about your situation, and what deadlines they themselves might be up against.
If you start on a task, make sure you know that you are starting on the task and not finishing it until later. That will lighten the pressure to perfect. "Okay, I'll just do some preliminary bullet points for this, and make notes of things I need to add so I'll get to them later."
Have a friend sit with you, even just in the same room or on a Zoom call, like Lyn Never mentioned above. Don't spend too much talking about what you will do; just have them on the line and know that they can see you.
Order delivery.
posted by miniraptor at 10:13 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
What works for me is imagining being DONE. Sometimes I imagine how accomplished and successful and pleased I'll feel when all the tasks are complete and I can check them off. And sometimes (if the tasks are really dreadful and unappealing) I imagine how relieved and free I'll feel not to have the dread of them hanging over my head.
I think it works (for me at least) because it takes the emphasis off the actual doing of the tasks, which is awful and no fun and not motivating, and puts the focus on something that is motivating, which is the pleasure of having them completed. It also does help with the paralysis of perfectionism, which sounds like it's a problem for you too. Because it puts the emphasis on done, and done is better than perfect.
I also build in lots of little rewards along the way. Like, I drafted that thing so now I can have a nice coffee. Micro-rewards :) I also do literally make lists and put big checkmarks against the things as I do them. That is also very satisfying :)
posted by Susan PG at 10:16 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
I think it works (for me at least) because it takes the emphasis off the actual doing of the tasks, which is awful and no fun and not motivating, and puts the focus on something that is motivating, which is the pleasure of having them completed. It also does help with the paralysis of perfectionism, which sounds like it's a problem for you too. Because it puts the emphasis on done, and done is better than perfect.
I also build in lots of little rewards along the way. Like, I drafted that thing so now I can have a nice coffee. Micro-rewards :) I also do literally make lists and put big checkmarks against the things as I do them. That is also very satisfying :)
posted by Susan PG at 10:16 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
Similar to what others have said above:
posted by loop at 2:50 PM on February 28, 2022
- Use a timer to get started. I find the pomodoro technique useful (25 mins work/5 mins break), but I find that just getting started is the hardest part, so any timer for any amount of time is helpful.
- Make your first task figuring out a plan for what you need to do.
posted by loop at 2:50 PM on February 28, 2022
For writing, specifically, outlining always helps me. Pick a thing and just list the sections you need to write. Then pick a section and make a list of subsections, or points you want to make in that section. Then pick one of those and write it.
posted by elizabot at 4:12 PM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by elizabot at 4:12 PM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
Nouvelle-personne, Thank you for your Ask - you asked the question but I benefitted from answers!
I don't know how your brain works, but mine cannot break down tasks At All. I can't outline, make detailed tiny-chunk to-do lists, or figure out what the smallest unit of work is or what's next.
Body doubling works for me, and I'm psyched to try out All Might Be Well's suggestion of speech to text. I find editing easier than writing cold, so even if I scrap the whole thing, I've managed to start something in the meantime.
No real conclusion, just that I hear you and I appreciate that you asked for help - in similar situations I often end up frozen. Kudos!
Edit: damnit grammerly, I didn't need your mangle!
posted by esoteric things at 8:40 PM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
I don't know how your brain works, but mine cannot break down tasks At All. I can't outline, make detailed tiny-chunk to-do lists, or figure out what the smallest unit of work is or what's next.
Body doubling works for me, and I'm psyched to try out All Might Be Well's suggestion of speech to text. I find editing easier than writing cold, so even if I scrap the whole thing, I've managed to start something in the meantime.
No real conclusion, just that I hear you and I appreciate that you asked for help - in similar situations I often end up frozen. Kudos!
Edit: damnit grammerly, I didn't need your mangle!
posted by esoteric things at 8:40 PM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
Thank you for this question, these days my whole life feels like one big executive dysfunction emergency. I appreciate all these answers!
1. Keep a separate file (paper or digital) for everything else that comes into my head: spin-off articles I would rather be writing, bad-brain chatter that I am horrible, anything
2. ALSO keep a metadata file for each thing I am writing (in Scrivener, so it's pretty seamless). "Read X and insert here later. This is where Y goes later." Keeping it out of the main body file helps somehow and I don't get sidebarred trying to "research" and come up for air 2 days later.
3. Yes, IDK either, it is what it is
4. Pomodoro, obviously
5. Change of location, obviously
6. Short bursts of intense exercise, UGH WHY is this the solution?! I hate it.
7. CoffeeEEEeeeEEeee
posted by athirstforsalt at 1:24 AM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
1. Keep a separate file (paper or digital) for everything else that comes into my head: spin-off articles I would rather be writing, bad-brain chatter that I am horrible, anything
2. ALSO keep a metadata file for each thing I am writing (in Scrivener, so it's pretty seamless). "Read X and insert here later. This is where Y goes later." Keeping it out of the main body file helps somehow and I don't get sidebarred trying to "research" and come up for air 2 days later.
3. Yes, IDK either, it is what it is
4. Pomodoro, obviously
5. Change of location, obviously
6. Short bursts of intense exercise, UGH WHY is this the solution?! I hate it.
7. CoffeeEEEeeeEEeee
posted by athirstforsalt at 1:24 AM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
body doubling for sure. And reducing agony in every way possible:
- agony about how big the task is: baby steps, small enough to be done in a very few minutes
- agony about too many projects/tasks, where to even start: use an external randomizer (online, pull from a hat, whatever) to pick the next one for which you do a baby step
- agony about quality: make a dirty draft, separate writing for thinking or brain dumping from writing for presentation. Call it typing, not writing. Worry about editing later.
- agony about how long to work on something, or when to take a break, or when to get back to work: use the pomodoro method, or roll a 60-sided die to get a random number for the duration in minutes, or whatever your body double suggests - anything that’s externally imposed and not so long that it’s draining or allows for agonizing.
- agony about not having started earlier: put aside if you can, or distract yourself by being busy taking baby steps and timers going off and unpredictable next-action suggestions.
- agony about having to work so much and not being free to do what you want, do things in your own time: again, body double. It’s easier if someone else is also working and not goofing off.
posted by meijusa at 8:16 AM on March 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
- agony about how big the task is: baby steps, small enough to be done in a very few minutes
- agony about too many projects/tasks, where to even start: use an external randomizer (online, pull from a hat, whatever) to pick the next one for which you do a baby step
- agony about quality: make a dirty draft, separate writing for thinking or brain dumping from writing for presentation. Call it typing, not writing. Worry about editing later.
- agony about how long to work on something, or when to take a break, or when to get back to work: use the pomodoro method, or roll a 60-sided die to get a random number for the duration in minutes, or whatever your body double suggests - anything that’s externally imposed and not so long that it’s draining or allows for agonizing.
- agony about not having started earlier: put aside if you can, or distract yourself by being busy taking baby steps and timers going off and unpredictable next-action suggestions.
- agony about having to work so much and not being free to do what you want, do things in your own time: again, body double. It’s easier if someone else is also working and not goofing off.
posted by meijusa at 8:16 AM on March 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:16 AM on February 28, 2022 [15 favorites]