Please help me brainstorm aphorisms, idioms, metaphors, quotes
January 26, 2022 6:24 AM   Subscribe

I'm looking for pithy sayings to convey the idea that you need to take responsibility for your own mess and clean up your own house. This is for a friend who’s making a proposal for a specific type of anti-racism work to be carried out by white people. Their premise is that it’s white people who are the source of the problem, and therefore it’s white people who need to do the work to solve it. (I'm over-simplifying but that's the gist.) My friend is German and their thinking is deeply informed by Vergangenheitsbewältigung.

I'm looking for ways to express the notion that the people causing the harm are the ones who need to do the work (self-scrutiny, truth-seeking, reflection, actual change, etc.) to fix it. (And optionally, that doing so is part of growing up.)

Here are some examples of the kinds of things I’m looking for:
“The only way out is through.”
“Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.”
“Clean up your own house.”

Thanks for any help you can provide. Even bad/imperfect ideas are welcome; think of this as helping me and my friend brainstorm :)
posted by Susan PG to Writing & Language (20 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
There's a Chinese saying: to take the bell off, you need the guy who put the bell on.
posted by kschang at 6:40 AM on January 26, 2022 [5 favorites]


Physician, heal thyself.
posted by scratch at 7:08 AM on January 26, 2022 [4 favorites]


You broke it you bought it.
Cleaning up after yourself, tidying your room, etc.
He who dealt it, should have to smell it.

None of these are serious responses obviously but thought to nudge your brain.
posted by J.R. Hartley at 7:09 AM on January 26, 2022 [1 favorite]


The truth will set you free. (But first it will make you miserable.)
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
You're never late till you get there. (Possibly irrelevant, but I just love quoting that one.)
posted by DrGail at 7:10 AM on January 26, 2022


"For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind"

it doesn't imply the needed work to be done, but does get at the cause and effect linkage through time.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:22 AM on January 26, 2022


Take your litter home with you. (A sign on the British Transport network)
posted by slimeline at 7:28 AM on January 26, 2022


"When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember four fingers are still pointing at him." I actually managed to use that phrase in a closing argument at a trial. I lost the trial though so ymmv.
posted by notinkansasanymore at 7:47 AM on January 26, 2022 [6 favorites]


I don't know if this is quite what you're looking for but I thought it was a great when I heard it a few years ago. Maybe someone else remembers it more clearly here.

When confronted with white people who are like, but I, personally, never did anything wrong against black people, or, my grandparents are immigrants; my family never was involved in slavery, I heard the following metaphor:

In Minneapolis, when it snows (and it snows a lot), homeowners are responsible for shoveling the sidewalk in front of their house, or paying to get it done. This is so the sidewalks are still usuable and a common good for the months when it's snowing. It's their responsibility, but it doesn't mean it's their fault: they didn't drop the snow in front of their house, or on their street, but it's still their job to clean it up, because it impacts everyone, and they can do what's closest to them.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 7:49 AM on January 26, 2022 [16 favorites]


I've seen several calls like this imploring anti-racist white folks to "come get your people." (One example.)
posted by dr. boludo at 7:59 AM on January 26, 2022 [4 favorites]


you're not part of the solution until you accept you're part of the problem.
posted by philip-random at 8:54 AM on January 26, 2022 [1 favorite]


You can't open a can of worms without getting worms all over the place.
posted by 10ch at 8:59 AM on January 26, 2022 [1 favorite]


"The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.

"They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change.

"Racism and homophobia are real conditions of all our lives in this place and time. I urge each one of us here to reach down into that deep place of knowledge inside herself and touch that terror and loathing of any difference that lives here. See whose face it wears. Then the personal as the political can begin to illuminate all our choices."

-- Audre Lorde
posted by olopua at 10:05 AM on January 26, 2022 [1 favorite]


"Let everyone sweep in front of their own door, and the whole street will be clean.”

"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.”

"...for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

"don't shit where you eat."

"Be the solution, not the problem."
posted by rhonzo at 11:14 AM on January 26, 2022 [1 favorite]


To butcher a phrase: The best time to dismantle systemic racism is 400 years ago. The second best time is now.
posted by ejs at 12:16 PM on January 26, 2022 [2 favorites]


"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."

That's an Eisenhower quote from roughly 70 years ago, and well over 300 years into the problem, so it's catchy but not really true. Or certainly not true of racial equality. That's kind of the problem with aphorisms in general, it's hard to get to the actual substance or truth of an issue with something that could fit on a bumper sticker. That said, I admire what your friend is doing.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 2:46 PM on January 26, 2022 [1 favorite]


You got your share. Now do your share.
posted by bluebird at 4:18 PM on January 26, 2022 [4 favorites]


"You fuck up the kitchen, then you should do the dishes" -- Turntables, Janelle Monáe
posted by rube goldberg at 5:26 PM on January 26, 2022 [2 favorites]


Keep your own side of the street clean.
posted by shadygrove at 7:41 PM on January 26, 2022


Some pretty bad ones (lol ugh), but for brainstorming:

Check yourself before you wreck yourself
Change yourself before you derange yourself
Repair yourself before you impair yourself
Mind yourself before you unwind yourself
Watch yourself before you botch yourself
Warn yourself before you mourn yourself
Look at yourself before you unhook yourself
Know yourself to grow yourself
Inspect/expect yourself to collect yourself
Check in with / beckon yourself to reckon with yourself

Look in the mirror (to see things clearer)
Look within, change without
Clean up your own mess/act / after yourself
Your mess is yours to clean
Fix your own mistakes, settle up your debts, learn your history
Respond to your responsibility
Grow up and show up
Own what you owe, know what you owe
Growth requires effort, correction needs introspection
Struggle builds strength
It takes some doing to take accountability
Do your duty, do your share, do the work, pay your dues, put in the hours
Challenge your status quo
Come to terms and bring to justice
Open your eyes to step forward
Reflect, don't deflect (then make an effect)
Reckon with the past to avoid wrecking the future
Confront the past, or it'll never pass
Your turn to learn
Wake up to your mistakes
Your mistakes are at stake
Understand by whose hand
Answer the call coming from inside the house
Wash off the blood on your hands
Be a friend and make amends
Work through shit to deal with it
Internal examination yields external transformation
Ignorance is remiss
Repent for past sins or racism wins
Per Coates: Do not descend into the dream; learn to struggle yourself; your dream field is our deathbed; resist unconsciousness
posted by eyeball at 9:46 PM on January 26, 2022


You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.
posted by away for regrooving at 10:22 PM on January 26, 2022


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