My dog judges my rhymes
January 18, 2022 10:17 AM   Subscribe

What should I sing while putting eye drops in my dog's eyes?

My dog needs eye drops multiple times a day. I've gotten in the habit of singing the following when I'm getting her set up for them: "Are you ready? To get this in your eye jelly?"

Now, the problem is: that rhyme is atrocious. I can't stand it! But it's stuck in my head now, and I can't come up with anything better. So, I come to you, AskMe: can you help me come up with some better stupid, short little songy rhymes that can replace my awful ready/eye-jelly line?

Good themes to play with include: being ready, it being time for the medicine, being a good girl, getting eye drops.
posted by meese to Grab Bag (20 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
At some point in the distant past, my husband and I were watching some kind of dog training show where the trainer suggested that when you need your dog to come do something they may not totally enjoy, you want to get your energy way way way up. No idea now if this was the trainer's suggestion or my husband's, but I guess the best thing either of them could think of was "it's your birthday!! come get your birthday cake!! yum yum birthday cake time!!" (we also go to the same spot, the little dorm fridge where we keep sodas and the eye drops and medications/treats for giving medications) and this leads itself to a number of songs, rhymes, and jingles on that theme that you could use. I personally prefer the Beatles' "Birthday" song to the classic.

But of course, there's also P!nk's "Get The Party Started" and (Lime In The) "Coconut" and "Party All The Time" - I know you weren't necessarily looking for actual songs, but these work for me both in self-entertainment and making my energy extremely happy and non-dreadful and so! excited! about medicine time.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:29 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


Are you set, to get your eyes wet?
Don't close your eyes, or I'll hafta do it twice.
I ain't being mean, but you need this saline.
Don't you blink, it's not as bad as you think.
You'd do it to your poppa, but you can't hold the dropper.
If you just sit tight, it'll be alright.
If you don't whine, this will all go fine.
I'm being kind. Do you wanna go blind?
You don't need to cry, 'cause I'm gonna wet your eye.
Why you acting like that? Are you sure you're not a cat?
posted by eotvos at 10:43 AM on January 18 [15 favorites]


"it's the time for eyeball slime!" or "ready to do your eyeball goo!"

After medicine: if your dog likes it when you dance you can say "good girl, let's twirl!" and do a happy dance for her.

This question is adorable.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 10:44 AM on January 18 [5 favorites]


Are you ready? Hold it steady!
Jeepers, creepers - put some drops in those peepers!
You're a good girl, I won't lie. Let's put some eye drops in those eyes.
I use a little cheerleading rhythm for the sing-song rhymes I make up for our cats. Maybe think of a nursery rhyme and riff on that.
posted by XtineHutch at 10:45 AM on January 18 [4 favorites]


It's time to be a good girl
And hold your head up high.
I'm getting out the eye drops
To put them in your eye!

-------

It's time to get ready
And hold your head steady
I'm getting out the dropper
And aiming for your eye!

------

Get ready
Hold steady
Here come the drops!
Wait a minute
Drops go in it
Then I stop.
posted by Redstart at 10:48 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


Medicine time
Medicine time
Nobody liked
My previous rhyme
posted by babelfish at 10:49 AM on January 18 [18 favorites]


(to the tune of The Temptations' "Get Ready")

I never met a dog
Who makes me feel the way that you do (you're alright)
Whenever I'm asked who makes my dreams real
I say that you do (you're outta sight)
So, fee-fi-fo-fum
Look out doggy, 'cause here I come
And I'm bringing you a drop of eye goo
So get ready, so get ready
You're gonna be a good doggy too
So get ready, so get ready 'cause here I come
(Get ready 'cause here I come) I'm on my way
(Get ready 'cause here I come)
posted by Fuego at 11:21 AM on January 18 [9 favorites]


I just realized that mine should be to the tune of the Taskmaster theme song
posted by babelfish at 11:38 AM on January 18


Response by poster: This are all wonderful so far, and I love them all. Keep 'em coming!

Also, dog tax.
posted by meese at 11:49 AM on January 18 [5 favorites]


I feel like we could do even better if we knew the dog's name.
posted by praemunire at 11:52 AM on January 18


Response by poster: Oh, right! Of course!

She's Zelda.
posted by meese at 11:55 AM on January 18


This is a good song to sing to any dog, any time.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I love that video; I miss my dog making whimpers and gentle barks in his sleep.
posted by theora55 at 12:28 PM on January 18


I put the eyedrops into your eyes!
It's the only thing that (slowly stops the ache/red/goo, or insert line about the condition you are treating)
And it's made of all the meds you have to take!
Zelda gets better now!
It works its way inside!
If the meds go in, THEN GOOD GIRLS GET PLAYTIME!
posted by Gable Oak at 1:15 PM on January 18




Of course, you can change "Hip Drop" to ''Eye Drops", as in "I tried the eye drops and I like it!"
posted by hydrophonic at 1:26 PM on January 18


If my dog were named Zelda I would never stop following in Allan Sherman's footsteps by singing things to the tune of Harry Belafonte's "Matilda" so that could be a place to start.

My Zelda
My Zelda
My Zelda, she got the eyedrops and still wags her tail-a
posted by babelfish at 3:14 PM on January 18 [3 favorites]


Smoke Gets In Your Eyes with appropriate lyric changes.
posted by SemiSalt at 3:28 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


When these drops hit your eyes
like a big pizza pies
Thats a GOOD GIRL!
posted by Kabanos at 3:56 PM on January 18 [11 favorites]


"Are you ready?
Why didn't I name you Betty?"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:22 PM on January 18


Eye drops, eye drops
Give me those blinkers please
They're so crusty
At least we're not treating fleas

I'm trying to keep you healthy
The vet's words were most compelling

So if you'll have a seat
And now it's complete
And you can have some food
posted by phunniemee at 2:13 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]


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