Needed: Joke about Narwhals
January 17, 2022 7:20 PM   Subscribe

I need a really good joke about narwhals that I can tell at work. I googled for a while and couldn't find any that I loved. Also, I'm fairly new to joke-telling, so it would help if it's not super long or detailed.
posted by allison00 to Society & Culture (9 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg. When he wakes up, he finds himself frozen in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. Fortunately, he spies the horn of a narwhal close by. As the narwhal approaches him, the penguin cries out, "Thank goodness you're around, narwhal -- could you break the ice?" The narwhal cocks his head awkwardly and says, "Uh, so... what are your hobbies?"
posted by churl at 7:32 PM on January 17 [49 favorites]

What's the difference between a narwhal and a carrot?
One's a funny beast, the other's a bunny feast.
posted by churl at 7:34 PM on January 17 [11 favorites]

What’s a narwhal’s favorite Fleetwood Mac album?


What’s a narwhal’s least favorite bar soap?

posted by armeowda at 7:57 PM on January 17 [5 favorites]

Q: Why was the narwhal kicked off the volleyball team?
A: He was always spiking the ball.

(Water polo team also works here.)
posted by Sunburnt at 11:28 PM on January 17 [5 favorites]

Our local expert on jokes about whales (don't ask) suggests:

So, one narwhal said to the other
"wanna fence?"
[pause for vaguely amused chuckles]
And the other narwhal says "what for, we live in the ocean?"

posted by nebulawindphone at 6:26 AM on January 18 [8 favorites]

I asked my spouse for a narwhal joke, and he came up with this one for you:

Who is a narwhal's favorite conductor?
posted by brainwane at 6:58 AM on January 18 [6 favorites]

Courtesy of last night's bedtime Alexa joke in our household:

Why didn't the narwhal invite the unicorn to their party?
They wanted to keep it real.
posted by traveler_ at 10:02 AM on January 18 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: I went with the penguin/narwhal joke, and it was a big hit! Thanks, churl!
posted by allison00 at 10:06 AM on January 18 [5 favorites]

I mean, did your listeners consider for even one moment that narwhals are Arctic while penguins, with the exception of the Galapagos penguin, are entirely native to the Southern Hemisphere?

Hrumph.. so unrealistic..
posted by Nerd of the North at 12:44 PM on January 18 [4 favorites]

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