panicking, need sanity check
December 6, 2021 8:38 AM   Subscribe

So I found another job...

...check my last question for context. I applied to a ton of other jobs and got called for an interview with one of them. I really liked the HR person and the hiring manager. I vetted the heck out of this company, read everything I could find on them on Glassdoor and elsewhere, and they seem great. They have been ranked one of the best companies to work at five years in a row in a regional business publication pertaining to their field, among other things. They seemed really enthusiastic about me as they basically zoomed me through their hiring process in one week. The salary they are offering is a $16K increase from what I am making now. It's just all good stuff. Yay.

The problem is, when I reviewed the benefits package, it looked like they were offering a very paltry level of PTO - lower than any place I have worked. I emailed the HR person last night asking if there was room to negotiate on PTO. I walked away from my computer for a couple of hours. When I came back, I re-read the offer letter and realized that I had completely and totally misunderstood how much PTO they were offering. Complete reading comprehension fail. Their PTO is absolutely fine.

So I sent another email to the HR lady saying that I had misunderstood the PTO allocation, understood it now, was totally fine with it, asked her to disregard my previous email, and apologized if I had caused any confusion. I attached the offer letter and background check forms. Then I went to bed.

I have not heard anything from the HR lady yet today. Given how enthusiastic she was to tell me they wanted to hire me last week (she called me at 8:03am on Friday) I'm freaking out a little because not responding immediately is out of character for her. I'm now panicking that my original email asking for more PTO offended her or that they are having second thoughts about hiring me because I misunderstood the PTO allocation (so maybe I'm not that attentive to detail?).

I am seriously about to have an anxiety attack that I found a job to get me out of my current hell with such a huge pay bump and I fucked it up somehow. What should I do? Should I call the HR lady? Should I call now or in the afternoon? What if they pull the offer? My next therapy appointment isn't till a week from today

Help help please
posted by nayantara to Work & Money (19 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Best answer: It's Monday morning. Everyone has an inbox full of stuff waiting for them and, if it's HR, probably more things to sift through than normal.

Take a deep breath and relax. What you did is perfectly fine and won't be a problem. Your first email wasn't give me 6 weeks PTO or I'm out!, it was just a chance to talk. And then you said things were cool.

So, you're cool. If they're that eager to get you on board, chances are that they're fighting other more important fires and will get back to you when there's a moment to breathe.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:47 AM on December 6, 2021 [15 favorites]

Best answer: It would be so batshit crazy if they pulled the offer that you wouldn't want to work there anyway. You misunderstood, you apologized, and the HR person hasn't made their way to your email yet because you sent it on a Sunday night and for all you know they're off today or in a training or have a bunch of dumb meetings. Your situation sounds EXTREMELY OKAY to me. They like you too. They're not gonna throw you in the bin over a little ol' email. Breathe.
posted by entropone at 8:47 AM on December 6, 2021 [25 favorites]

Best answer: In this job market, nobody's going to be enthusiastic about hiring you and then drop you because of a misunderstanding like this. And if they do, you didn't want to work there anyway.

Have you formally accepted the offer? Emailing that you're 'fine with it' may not be enough.

Maybe she's just out of the office for today. Lots of office workers are reaching the point in the year when they need to start burning PTO or lose it.

Maybe she's following your instructions to disregard the previous email and is doing her best to pretend it didn't happen.

Maybe, now that you've accepted the offer letter, other wheels need to start turning and it might be a day or two before the next step.

Relax, don't worry yet, and if you haven't heard anything by tomorrow afternoon, call her and confirm that you want to accept the offer and ask what the next steps are.
posted by Hatashran at 8:50 AM on December 6, 2021 [1 favorite]

Best answer: It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. HR people are busy. This won't matter to them at all. I'm sure you were polite and courteous and your question wasn't out of line at all and they'll get back to you as soon as they've finished whatever else they're up to.

I refer you to your two previous asks where you were extremely anxious about details of the recruitment process that were in fact absolutely nothing to worry about at all, and humbly suggest that this will also be an absolute non-event, the same way they were.

Be kind to yourself, this is always a stressful time for anyone, and is a particular hot-button moment for you. You clearly absolutely rock to have landed yourself a new job. Go do whatever helps you handle anxiety, don't call or email them, and this will be water under the bridge soon enough.
posted by penguin pie at 8:53 AM on December 6, 2021 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: She literally just emailed me back and we're all good. I start January 3.

Thank you guys so much for your kind words while I sat here panicking (aka "nayantara in default mode").

Anxiety over work situations is one of the biggest things I will be addressing with my new therapist.

Thanks again so much. All's well that ends well and heck, $16K extra a year in the bank is pretty fab.
posted by nayantara at 8:59 AM on December 6, 2021 [78 favorites]

Best answer: I came to advise you to relax. I'm glad to see that everything's good and you have a start date. Congratulations!
posted by brianogilvie at 9:07 AM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: Congrats on the job!
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:31 AM on December 6, 2021 [2 favorites]

Best answer: congrats!
posted by ghharr at 9:43 AM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: Anxiety over work situations is one of the biggest things I will be addressing with my new therapist.

Congrats! Hopefully you can add this offer to the growing pile of evidence that you're pretty damn good at landing on your feet, even when you find yourself in lousy work situations.
posted by trig at 10:35 AM on December 6, 2021 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Congrats!!
posted by Sparky Buttons at 11:14 AM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: I also get anxious in high-stakes professional communication situations, and went through a stressful job search process. Despite it resulting in a beyond-expectation result, I felt left with just the experience of the anxiety of the whole thing.

My therapist gave me a great piece of advice which was - you put in the work, you came out of it with a big victory. Savour the moment, internalise the 'win' for yourself, actually feel the positive as well as any learning from this.
posted by artificialard at 11:48 AM on December 6, 2021 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Yay!
posted by BlahLaLa at 12:50 PM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: Fantastic news! After all the (probably racist) BS you've put up with in your current job, you more than deserve this.
posted by Lycaon_pictus at 2:00 PM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: So glad you found a new spot! I read your previous questions when posted, but didn't have anything to add that everyone hadn't already covered. Best of luck!
posted by invincible summer at 3:21 PM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: Hooray! New job new job more pay more pay! You did it!
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 6:26 PM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: I am SOOOOOO happy for you and can't wait until you walk out that door leaving your odious mean girl FORMER co-workers in the dust. Please TikTok it or something. ;-)
posted by cyndigo at 9:12 PM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: Congratulations!! I hope you get as much of December to revel and cut loose as possible, you deserve it!! Yay you!!
posted by riverlife at 10:54 PM on December 6, 2021

Best answer: Congrats! Well done you!
posted by fabius at 6:34 AM on December 7, 2021

Best answer: Just wanted to belatedly say congratulations! Well done and good luck for January - new year, new job, what a good feeling! :)
posted by the cat's pyjamas at 9:43 AM on December 8, 2021

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