I don't know where this poop came from but it can't stay here

October 15, 2021 10:08 PM

Every so often there's poop on my carpet. What's the best steam cleaner I can get?

The dog says that what's happening is he scares the literal poop out of burglars, and he'd appreciate being thanked for his service with pizza. Whatever, man.

What's an affordable (Under $500) steam cleaner for carpets and also hard floors that is easy to use and a solid workhorse I won't have to replace for a long time? I'd prefer not to be on my hands and knees.

posted by blnkfrnk to Home & Garden (7 answers total)

Cleaning up poop isn't that difficult. You scoop up the big bits in a paper towel - there's a possibility if it was a recent poop and it was "hard" you might not even need to clean up after it.

For mooshy squooshy poops you can still spend ten seconds picking as much as you can with gloves. If there's a residue that might leave a stain apply a very generous amount of something like OxiClean (link is to Amazon but it's a link that sends money to MeFi). The time commitment is still negligible.

Chances are very good that I'm more lackadaisical about house cleaning than you are but please don't spend more money than you need to. That said, I have no pets and I never poop on my floor. YMMV.
posted by bendy at 2:15 AM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

Small Poop? Bissell SpotBot Pets are pretty cool and will run you less than $200. I've replaced the hose because it finally got a leak in it. If it is a spot of poop, singular... not anywhere else - it is fantastic, pour in water and a little bit of chemicals... set the stain type and come back and empty it when it beeps.

Now... what you'll see though, once you clean the spot is... OMG MY RUG IS THE FILTH. If cleaning the rug becomes your thing, we also use the Bissell ProHeat Revolution Pet, which looks like a vacuum cleaner. That will run you just over $300, but if you've got two dogs a cat and two children who track mud into the house - ITS FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:05 AM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]

Bissell Big Green. Anything less is just fucking around. These are the rental units but with a different-colored power cord and they pull the most amazing filth out of your carpet. They run about $500, $400 on frequent sale on places like amamazon. Five year warranty.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:28 AM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

Uh, you definitely need to clean up after poop, even if it is hard.

The Bissell green clean is what you want. Cute pup!
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:48 AM on October 16, 2021

Seconding the Bissel SpotPets. We have hardwood floors, rugs, and cats who pee where they shouldn't sometimes. The enzymatic cleaner is pretty great at eliminating any odor or staining. We use ours on upholstery as well. As advertised it's a spot cleaner but can do a larger area (like a rug) if you are willing to work at it. SpotPets is a handheld so it is a hands/knees or a stool.

Would also recommend letting the poop (or the hairball or the vomit) dry before cleaning as it will be much easier to remove with less smearing.
posted by countrymod at 10:15 AM on October 16, 2021

Response by poster: He's an old dog with a whoopsie stomach and I'm a clumsy person who likes red wine and spaghetti, so we definitely need to clean the carpet a lot. I also really enjoy the carpet cleaners I've used, it's a very satisfying process. Bissell sounds like the brand to watch, thank you for your suggestions.
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:51 PM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

I have a dog and got the fanciest bissell I could afford.
posted by zenon at 7:06 PM on October 17, 2021