What we owe our parents - Taiwanese-American Edition
October 7, 2021 10:23 AM Subscribe
I'm first generation Taiwanese-American. My parents are conservative, I'm not. I've lived far away from them my entire adult life, which has enabled me to live my life according to my own values. During the pandemic, we started trying to improve our relationship with weekly calls; their response to my opening up about my life has generally been horrified worry and confusion. Most recently, I accidentally revealed that I had a tattoo in our last call, and both my parents were extremely hurt - my mother left the room crying. Our values are so different that I don't need or want their approval, but I hate the fact that my choices hurt and worry them, and I feel guilt for living so far away from them and not being a part of their lives. In general, I feel that I've sacrificed my relationship with them for my lifestyle, and I don't know how to navigate this - the American side of me thinks that I should stand up for myself, but the Taiwanese side of me thinks that I've been pretty selfish. I don't really know which side of me is right, at the moment. Can you suggest resources (doesn't have to be Taiwanese-American specific) to help me have some perspective on this?