I cannot believe I am asking this

September 17, 2021 7:26 PM

Facebook's algorithm is getting to me. Does anyone here own one of those DB Method machines? Do they work? I keep getting fed ads for them and I keep getting more and more intrigued and yet I feel like maybe this is dumb of me.

I don't know. I make fun of those awful Peleton ads and the whole Peleton culture/craze is so ridiculous and yet I know real actual people in my life who got a Peleton and love it. Those workout mirrors they advertise on TV? Look dumb as hell, and yet I know actual people who have those as well and love them.

Have y'all seen these DB Method ads on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube? When I first started seeing these ads last year I laughed and laughed like I did at Peleton and those sports mirrors because the DB Method just basically looks like a machine that helps you do deep squats and I can already do deep squats.

But the thing is... I DON'T do deep squats, despite being able to. I had ten months of unemployment due to the pandemic last year and I didn't do any excersize at all besides walking the dog, some halfhearted bicep curls once in a blue moon, and occasionally wailing on the punching bag in the basement which feels more like scream therapy to me (not that there's anything wrong with catharsis).

My back is mangled as fuck, from years of desk jobs, from years of playing shows with a heavy-ass bass guitar dangling from my body, from years of dragging heavy-ass amps around, from driving long distances, from having a rack of doom (big tits are heavy, y'all!), from having flat feet (orthotics didn't work, they made my legs numb), from having knees that hyper-extend. I have a rib on my right side that routinely pops out of place and causes me ridiculous pain. I also have a bum knee from a really dumb injury involving a band performance. I used to run, can't really do that with the knee. I used to swim, until my local gym closed due to COVID-19. I need to get back into shape, I need to lose weight, I need cardio and strength training to lose weight (doing both is the only way I have succeeded in weight loss before), and I really, really need better core strength because my back is so mangled. My chiropractor, who puts the rogue rib back where it belongs every 6-8 weeks says that my fucking right scapula is noticeably lower than my left, and my right hip is higher than my left. I am a fucking mess, and I'm only 36 years old.

So basically now these fucking DB Method squat machines are starting to look appealing to me because they include cardio, core strengthening, and are designed to be easy on the knees.

(Selfishly I also want to get back in shape before November when I have a photoshoot scheduled in preparation for my debut record's release this winter. Vanity prevails.)

The machines are not too terribly expensive at all and it seems to check all of the boxes in terms of what I need in a workout at this phase of my mangled back life.

But do these machines actually work or is it just a dumb scam to get people to do squats which is something that anyone can do without a machine? Am I a gullible fool for falling for this clever Facebook advertising?

Does anyone own one of these machines and is it worth it?

I literally cannot wear pants without elastic waistbands right now (see my previous question) and I gotta do SOMETHING.

SO. To DB Method, or not to DB Method? Lay it on me.

posted by nayantara to Health & Fitness (8 answers total)

I don't own one, but they seem like nonsense. Just do air squats. You say you can do deep squats, so do them. This machine doesn't seem like it's going to help much, especially when you're hanging onto a vertical pole.
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:35 PM on September 17, 2021 [2 favorites]

Sorry I don’t think that $229 the machine would produce any better results than what free bodyweight exercises like squats or the chair/warrior yoga poses would provide.

I think the money would be more effectively spent experimenting with exercise classes or a monthly subscription to find an activity you enjoy and can see yourself sticking to.
posted by mundo at 8:29 PM on September 17, 2021 [5 favorites]

I think you'd be better off working with a personal trainer/physical therapist who can help you maintain good form when you exercise. The experience will also give you some accountability to do the workouts as you approach November.

Mazel tov on the release of your record!
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 10:13 PM on September 17, 2021 [9 favorites]

Best answer: I was super curious as to what this was so had a look and it looks like a little seat (?!) plus some poles to hang on to, to help keep your upper body upright in a deep squat? If that’s the case and it’s the effect you’re looking for, I would not DB Method. There are a ton of things you can do like hang onto a door frame for support, tether a resistance band to a door, use a counterweight… for free or very very cheap that will give you the same support. There are also easier to store, more versatile equipment options, that will help you do the same thing. A TRX or other suspension trainer is super versatile, will support you staying upright through a deep squat and there are loads of other fun things you can do with it. Also if you already have injuries I’d be wary of cheap gimmicky equipment. Said as someone who lives an exercise gimmick and has a lot of injuries.
posted by t0astie at 10:28 PM on September 17, 2021 [6 favorites]

Best answer: Go to one model train website and you'll be served fancy pictures of model trains for a year.
posted by parmanparman at 2:37 AM on September 18, 2021 [17 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks for setting me straight guys. Exhaustion (we are literally waiting for movers to load up my old house at the moment and we're packing nonstop the last two days) plus my producer and I officially signing the PR contract had me quasi-delirious and I was like hmmmmm that machine looks kinda cool. I'm glad I double checked/asked for a reality check.

I do have TRX straps that mount on a door and will be setting those up in our new house asap for some deep squat action that doesn't involve a $229 payment!

Also, fuck how Big Tech/Big Brother is watching us. Silly me for clicking on that link once, I should have known I'd be bombarded after that. Sigh.
posted by nayantara at 5:35 AM on September 18, 2021 [1 favorite]

We have one that we bought at the top of lockdown. I like it but it really does just encourage proper form. I like having a physical reminder that I need to work out. I don't know if it's worth $230.
posted by Uncle at 8:38 AM on September 18, 2021

I'm one of those people who thought Pelotons were ridiculous until I bought one. Now I ride it every day. And I wasn't a gym person before.

If you're looking for bodyweight strength and core, Peloton also has an app for $12 a month with classes for that. I find the instructors ridiculous, but strangely motivating. And it's just gamified enough to suck me in, but not so much so that I feel dumb about it.
posted by decathecting at 10:36 AM on September 20, 2021