How to deal with toxic bullying coworker without losing your sanity?
August 1, 2021 1:26 PM Subscribe
My coworker is becoming increasingly toxic, but my boss refuses to do anything about it. How do I keep from losing my sanity? Snowflakes inside…
My main issue is Maria. I am standoffish and quiet. Maria is loud and overbearing.
I’ve discussed my coworker Maria before here.
She is older, very insecure, needy, gossipy, and has boundary issues.
Maria told me that the problem is my face — that my expression is too neutral, so she imagines I’m thinking all sorts of awful things about her.
She talks down to me like I'm stupid, even though I have more degrees and experience than she does.
She’s also accused me of talking about her. “You left to go talk about me with Fergus.” I said that no, I had to ask Fergus about a shipment and that we weren’t talking about her.
When I started, she looked up my address and info. She was like, "Is this person a relative? Do you live on this street?" She then sends me birthday and Christmas cards.
She admitted that she likes "creeping out her own kids" and will "say things just to mess with them."
I sit with Maria and Sally (new manager) in a small room and the two have developed a friendship and I feel left out. Maria will often whisper with Sally and gossip. I try to keep my head down and work, but it’s difficult. I was trying to avoid Maria and she must have told Sally because when I came back to my desk, they were both whispering and looking at me. (Which is ironic because Maria is always accusing me of talking about her, yet she talks about me.) Sally coddles her and will often tell her "Oh, I’m so sorry. That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. How can I help?”
Maria hated my predecessor and 3 years later, she is STILL bringing her name up and how “[predecessor] was so mean to her” and how she would just sit in the corner and the predecessor would talk to others without including Maria.
When I was on vacation, Maria was in a staff meeting and complained that I wasn’t giving her the receipts from orders, even though she never told me that she needed them. When I came back to the office, I found out that the procedure had changed. I overheard her on the phone admit to someone that SHE was the one who messed up, yet she blamed ME for it! Wtf?!
Another time she was lashing out at people and slamming cabinet doors because "there was too much talking."
When I left for a meeting one day, she said that it was a good thing because she was "stressed and would start throwing things!" (Again, wtf?)
I’m feeling frustrated because I can’t address issues directly and have to work around Maria (and her feelings). Everyone seems to walk on eggshells around Maria (including the boss) and appease her. I've tried, but she just ends up lashing out at me and uses me as her verbal punching bag.
If the attention isn't on Maria *all the time*, she seems to lose it. Last week at a meeting, Sally talked about how she and I met to go over the new database. Maria was quiet, but then said that the meeting had to be switched to in-person (instead of virtual and we all sit at our desks). When we ended the meeting, I sneezed and she told me that I was "sneezing too much that day". (That was the first time that I sneezed all day!)
So... she doesn't like me. I get it. Now what? I don't want to yell back at her or get in trouble, but I'm stick of being her whipping person/scapegoat/punching bag. This is affecting me physically and emotionally. She’s taking up way too much headspace and even my family is concerned about the impact that she is having on me.
Is there anything to do? Until I can leave, how do I deal with this? How can I get her to leave me alone?
My main issue is Maria. I am standoffish and quiet. Maria is loud and overbearing.
I’ve discussed my coworker Maria before here.
She is older, very insecure, needy, gossipy, and has boundary issues.
Maria told me that the problem is my face — that my expression is too neutral, so she imagines I’m thinking all sorts of awful things about her.
She talks down to me like I'm stupid, even though I have more degrees and experience than she does.
She’s also accused me of talking about her. “You left to go talk about me with Fergus.” I said that no, I had to ask Fergus about a shipment and that we weren’t talking about her.
When I started, she looked up my address and info. She was like, "Is this person a relative? Do you live on this street?" She then sends me birthday and Christmas cards.
She admitted that she likes "creeping out her own kids" and will "say things just to mess with them."
I sit with Maria and Sally (new manager) in a small room and the two have developed a friendship and I feel left out. Maria will often whisper with Sally and gossip. I try to keep my head down and work, but it’s difficult. I was trying to avoid Maria and she must have told Sally because when I came back to my desk, they were both whispering and looking at me. (Which is ironic because Maria is always accusing me of talking about her, yet she talks about me.) Sally coddles her and will often tell her "Oh, I’m so sorry. That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. How can I help?”
Maria hated my predecessor and 3 years later, she is STILL bringing her name up and how “[predecessor] was so mean to her” and how she would just sit in the corner and the predecessor would talk to others without including Maria.
When I was on vacation, Maria was in a staff meeting and complained that I wasn’t giving her the receipts from orders, even though she never told me that she needed them. When I came back to the office, I found out that the procedure had changed. I overheard her on the phone admit to someone that SHE was the one who messed up, yet she blamed ME for it! Wtf?!
Another time she was lashing out at people and slamming cabinet doors because "there was too much talking."
When I left for a meeting one day, she said that it was a good thing because she was "stressed and would start throwing things!" (Again, wtf?)
I’m feeling frustrated because I can’t address issues directly and have to work around Maria (and her feelings). Everyone seems to walk on eggshells around Maria (including the boss) and appease her. I've tried, but she just ends up lashing out at me and uses me as her verbal punching bag.
If the attention isn't on Maria *all the time*, she seems to lose it. Last week at a meeting, Sally talked about how she and I met to go over the new database. Maria was quiet, but then said that the meeting had to be switched to in-person (instead of virtual and we all sit at our desks). When we ended the meeting, I sneezed and she told me that I was "sneezing too much that day". (That was the first time that I sneezed all day!)
So... she doesn't like me. I get it. Now what? I don't want to yell back at her or get in trouble, but I'm stick of being her whipping person/scapegoat/punching bag. This is affecting me physically and emotionally. She’s taking up way too much headspace and even my family is concerned about the impact that she is having on me.
Is there anything to do? Until I can leave, how do I deal with this? How can I get her to leave me alone?
Does your company have an HR department you can go to? They may be able to assist or at least advise you.
posted by orange swan at 1:35 PM on August 1, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by orange swan at 1:35 PM on August 1, 2021 [3 favorites]
Since you have no recourse and the company doesn't find her enough of a liability to get rid of her, your two choices are develop a thicker skin or leave.
If you want to develop a thicker skin, stop caring about her pointless tedious bullshit. Stop caring what she says to other people about you - none of them give a shit either, they've all resigned themselves to her being there whether they like it or not, they know who she is.
And stop taking the bait. Just say "okay", say just that a hundred times a day every time she says something unnecessary to you, and maybe "that's not true" if you must and "I'm just trying to work" when actually necessary, but stop explaining what you went to talk to Fergus about (that's the information she actually wanted and why she baited you with her weird accusations). You are likely exasperating everyone else who has figured out they have to just live with it. Stop wondering what the fuck. This is the fuck! This is it, this is where you work and what the environment is like, stop being surprised, stop spending your energy on reactions to her. Let her be mad, it's what she wants anyway. Develop a confused squint-halfsmile every time she talks to you about something that isn't pertinent to actual work getting done.
Sally has already figured all this out. She's not coddling, she just making noises in the key Maria wants to hear, and she's being super snarky about it. "What can I do to help" is a cornering tactic - because the answer is pretty much nothing! Maria doesn't want help, she wants to complain.
Just go on about your job. Force Maria to go to management with her meeting changes and complaints about you sneezing. "You sneeze too much" "okay" "you have to change this meeting" "we're going to have the meeting as planned" "you're talking about me behind my back" "I'm just doing my work" "you don't like me" "that's not true, I'm just doing my work".
Every single time you hear something from her that annoys you, that's because she's actively desperately trying to annoy you. Stop reacting or start looking for another job that maybe doesn't have one of her there.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:14 PM on August 1, 2021 [59 favorites]
If you want to develop a thicker skin, stop caring about her pointless tedious bullshit. Stop caring what she says to other people about you - none of them give a shit either, they've all resigned themselves to her being there whether they like it or not, they know who she is.
And stop taking the bait. Just say "okay", say just that a hundred times a day every time she says something unnecessary to you, and maybe "that's not true" if you must and "I'm just trying to work" when actually necessary, but stop explaining what you went to talk to Fergus about (that's the information she actually wanted and why she baited you with her weird accusations). You are likely exasperating everyone else who has figured out they have to just live with it. Stop wondering what the fuck. This is the fuck! This is it, this is where you work and what the environment is like, stop being surprised, stop spending your energy on reactions to her. Let her be mad, it's what she wants anyway. Develop a confused squint-halfsmile every time she talks to you about something that isn't pertinent to actual work getting done.
Sally has already figured all this out. She's not coddling, she just making noises in the key Maria wants to hear, and she's being super snarky about it. "What can I do to help" is a cornering tactic - because the answer is pretty much nothing! Maria doesn't want help, she wants to complain.
Just go on about your job. Force Maria to go to management with her meeting changes and complaints about you sneezing. "You sneeze too much" "okay" "you have to change this meeting" "we're going to have the meeting as planned" "you're talking about me behind my back" "I'm just doing my work" "you don't like me" "that's not true, I'm just doing my work".
Every single time you hear something from her that annoys you, that's because she's actively desperately trying to annoy you. Stop reacting or start looking for another job that maybe doesn't have one of her there.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:14 PM on August 1, 2021 [59 favorites]
You're dealing with a narcissist who needs to be "the best" at everything. Here are 7 tips from Psychology Today:
1. Get EVERYTHING in writing. Ask any verbal instructions to be sent over email, so there's a timestamp. Keep detailed written documentation of issues with the narcissist, in case you need to sue the company later.
2. Avoid a fight by not engaging. They will find a way to push your buttons, so refuse to engage. Shrug and walk away. Document the incident (see 1).
3. It's not personal. Narcissist needs a target and often it just happens to be you. The noob. The person with the largest friend network. The "competitor". It's not about you... it's about him/her personally. No need to take it personally.
4. Avoid giving ANY personal information or opinion. That fact that this one actually looked up your address is a problem. Remember, to a narcissist, anything you say will be used against you. If you say one thing, they'll twist it to mean something negative, no matter what you say. And this one has no boundaries if she's willing to dig into company records to find dirt on you. Do NOT give her any more ammo.
5. Have a witness. Enlist an ally who can be with you at all times during work, so M is less likely to lie about things, since you have a witness.
6. Avoid contact. Refuse to engage, period. If you must interact, do the Dragnet "Just the facts, ma'am". AND record your interactions later.
7. Know your legal rights. Document all instances that results in a "hostile workplace", esp. when your boss refuse to do things about it. Document those instances too.
posted by kschang at 2:44 PM on August 1, 2021 [5 favorites]
1. Get EVERYTHING in writing. Ask any verbal instructions to be sent over email, so there's a timestamp. Keep detailed written documentation of issues with the narcissist, in case you need to sue the company later.
2. Avoid a fight by not engaging. They will find a way to push your buttons, so refuse to engage. Shrug and walk away. Document the incident (see 1).
3. It's not personal. Narcissist needs a target and often it just happens to be you. The noob. The person with the largest friend network. The "competitor". It's not about you... it's about him/her personally. No need to take it personally.
4. Avoid giving ANY personal information or opinion. That fact that this one actually looked up your address is a problem. Remember, to a narcissist, anything you say will be used against you. If you say one thing, they'll twist it to mean something negative, no matter what you say. And this one has no boundaries if she's willing to dig into company records to find dirt on you. Do NOT give her any more ammo.
5. Have a witness. Enlist an ally who can be with you at all times during work, so M is less likely to lie about things, since you have a witness.
6. Avoid contact. Refuse to engage, period. If you must interact, do the Dragnet "Just the facts, ma'am". AND record your interactions later.
7. Know your legal rights. Document all instances that results in a "hostile workplace", esp. when your boss refuse to do things about it. Document those instances too.
posted by kschang at 2:44 PM on August 1, 2021 [5 favorites]
In the short term, it sounds like it’s time to acknowledge Maria has completely worn out her credibility. “You left to go talk about me with Fergus” might as well be, “I ate a sandwich made of bees for lunch today.” Not just irrelevant to you but also not based on reality. Literally none of her complaints or accusations matter. You can respond professionally (“Fergus and I had to touch base about the office supply order” or “I email you the receipts every week, would you like me to re-send the most recent batch?”) but it’s counterproductive to engage with the substance of her comments. You don’t need to defend yourself because the accusations are ridiculous and everyone knows, they’re just pretending otherwise.
Long-term, it says something about your organization that the leadership can’t bear to hold this one person accountable. Something pretty grim about the type of support and management quality you can expect if you stay.
posted by theotherdurassister at 3:18 PM on August 1, 2021 [4 favorites]
Long-term, it says something about your organization that the leadership can’t bear to hold this one person accountable. Something pretty grim about the type of support and management quality you can expect if you stay.
posted by theotherdurassister at 3:18 PM on August 1, 2021 [4 favorites]
You have been working on this toxic mess for a year now. Hopefully you've been able to sock away some savings so you can join The Great Resignation, take advantage of the Turnover Tsunami and get a new job. Quit. ASAP.
posted by brookeb at 4:27 PM on August 1, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by brookeb at 4:27 PM on August 1, 2021 [5 favorites]
Feel free to go home at night and write down all the shit you wished you could say to her, but won't.
It's so tempting to tell you just to fuck with her in return, like holding up your phone and recording every interaction (or pretending you are), as a way of "documenting her concerns" or otherwise calling her out on her bizarre shit. But that gets old fast, or escalates into serious weirdness that you probably don't want to deal with.
Gray rock is probably the best bet. Be super boring, and super emotionally unresponsive. Give her nothing. Tilt your head at her if she's getting really weird, like you can't quite understand what she means. Then just say "Ok."
Of course, that's not an easy ask!! You're a human, you have emotions, you have to work in a room with another human who is doing her best to play your emotions like an instrument for some twisted, scrabbling reasons of her own that you should never ever care about.
So: speed up that job search, pronto. If you have savings, consider quitting and becoming a temp for a little while, while you search, just to get out of this situation. If you have degrees and skills, there's another job out there for you.
I once quit a job on the first day because the vibe was so deeply, deeply weird and unpleasant that it gave me a panicked feeling. I hadn't noticed during the interview that everyone looked both scared and beaten down, and when I went out to lunch, I saw a woman who was my counterpart straight up drinking in her car. The guy I was working for wasn't the one who interviewed me, and he gave me the straight-up creeps. My job placement agency was mad with me, but you know, I have never regretted that decision. And I found another job.
You will too. Just get out.
And if you want to tell them when you leave that their disinterest in keeping Maria from harassing and bullying you was a major reason, please do.
posted by emjaybee at 7:08 PM on August 1, 2021 [6 favorites]
It's so tempting to tell you just to fuck with her in return, like holding up your phone and recording every interaction (or pretending you are), as a way of "documenting her concerns" or otherwise calling her out on her bizarre shit. But that gets old fast, or escalates into serious weirdness that you probably don't want to deal with.
Gray rock is probably the best bet. Be super boring, and super emotionally unresponsive. Give her nothing. Tilt your head at her if she's getting really weird, like you can't quite understand what she means. Then just say "Ok."
Of course, that's not an easy ask!! You're a human, you have emotions, you have to work in a room with another human who is doing her best to play your emotions like an instrument for some twisted, scrabbling reasons of her own that you should never ever care about.
So: speed up that job search, pronto. If you have savings, consider quitting and becoming a temp for a little while, while you search, just to get out of this situation. If you have degrees and skills, there's another job out there for you.
I once quit a job on the first day because the vibe was so deeply, deeply weird and unpleasant that it gave me a panicked feeling. I hadn't noticed during the interview that everyone looked both scared and beaten down, and when I went out to lunch, I saw a woman who was my counterpart straight up drinking in her car. The guy I was working for wasn't the one who interviewed me, and he gave me the straight-up creeps. My job placement agency was mad with me, but you know, I have never regretted that decision. And I found another job.
You will too. Just get out.
And if you want to tell them when you leave that their disinterest in keeping Maria from harassing and bullying you was a major reason, please do.
posted by emjaybee at 7:08 PM on August 1, 2021 [6 favorites]
An entire branch of my family tree is different flavours of Maria, and I've learnt the hard way that the only way to win is to not play. Grey rock all the way.
It may help to think of it as an illness. Not in the sense of "oh, her behaviour must be accommodated" but rather that this is how she is, and nothing you can do will change it. You are the current outlet for whatever fucked-up stuff is going on inside her, and as long as she needs that outlet she'll keep doing what she's doing. She chose to fixate on you for reasons that have nothing to do with you and, quite likely, she couldn't even explain herself if she wanted to.
(Sometimes trying to accommodate this behaviour can actually make it worse, because depending on their self-awareness the person may realise on some level they're targetting you unfairly, but they can't stop themselves, so the only way to feel less bad about abusing you is to ... abuse you further, and find a way, however ridiculous or illogical, to make it your fault.)
If you're able to look at it the right way, this can actually be freeing.* It's like a force of nature -- Maria gonna Maria, no matter what you do or don't do. It's not about you. Therefore you don't need to be affected by it. Become the boring pedant who insists on everything work-related going through email, and when she speaks, imagine her as Charlie Brown's teacher.
*I understand all too well this is a big ask, and there's less incentive when it's a coworker and not a blood tie.
posted by myotahapea at 12:31 AM on August 2, 2021 [2 favorites]
It may help to think of it as an illness. Not in the sense of "oh, her behaviour must be accommodated" but rather that this is how she is, and nothing you can do will change it. You are the current outlet for whatever fucked-up stuff is going on inside her, and as long as she needs that outlet she'll keep doing what she's doing. She chose to fixate on you for reasons that have nothing to do with you and, quite likely, she couldn't even explain herself if she wanted to.
(Sometimes trying to accommodate this behaviour can actually make it worse, because depending on their self-awareness the person may realise on some level they're targetting you unfairly, but they can't stop themselves, so the only way to feel less bad about abusing you is to ... abuse you further, and find a way, however ridiculous or illogical, to make it your fault.)
If you're able to look at it the right way, this can actually be freeing.* It's like a force of nature -- Maria gonna Maria, no matter what you do or don't do. It's not about you. Therefore you don't need to be affected by it. Become the boring pedant who insists on everything work-related going through email, and when she speaks, imagine her as Charlie Brown's teacher.
*I understand all too well this is a big ask, and there's less incentive when it's a coworker and not a blood tie.
posted by myotahapea at 12:31 AM on August 2, 2021 [2 favorites]
Some good advice above in terms of getting a thick skin and ignoring. This is a situation where it's best to not play the game she is dragging you into, it's unlikely that you will get a result where she is exposed and then stops these behaviours, or she stops doing this with you. Best bet is to stay professional and not engage. Good that you're considering leaving (I assume, from your last paragraph) if this is affecting you.
I would start keeping a record of anything unprofessional, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that she messes up, blames you and gets you in a lot of trouble. Or just makes you her pet project and starts some sort of campaign against you. It will be much easier to defend yourself and hang on to your sanity if you have a record of things that have occurred (avoid making this into a personal grudge record though, I wouldn't necessarily record every comment she makes e.g. The sneezing thing, just things are are demonstrably unprofessional, particularly anything that can be verified independently of you or is serious, e.g looking up your private address which is a huge confidentiality issue).
You can also try a more senior manager or whichever authority is above your line manager and privately raise concern over particular issues. Again , it's no good focusing on "this person is toxic". Try to stick to any specific incidents of unprofessional conduct if you feel its necessary to deal with such a incident. I would only go higher up the chain if your current manager isn't addressing or acknowledging the impact on your shared working environment.
Making a mistake and blaming you could be in relation to something very serious in future, I would definitely keep a private record for this kind of thing. I wouldn't expect much to change though, I would consider finding a new job. Good luck with whatever course you take.
posted by captaincasserole at 3:26 AM on August 2, 2021
I would start keeping a record of anything unprofessional, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that she messes up, blames you and gets you in a lot of trouble. Or just makes you her pet project and starts some sort of campaign against you. It will be much easier to defend yourself and hang on to your sanity if you have a record of things that have occurred (avoid making this into a personal grudge record though, I wouldn't necessarily record every comment she makes e.g. The sneezing thing, just things are are demonstrably unprofessional, particularly anything that can be verified independently of you or is serious, e.g looking up your private address which is a huge confidentiality issue).
You can also try a more senior manager or whichever authority is above your line manager and privately raise concern over particular issues. Again , it's no good focusing on "this person is toxic". Try to stick to any specific incidents of unprofessional conduct if you feel its necessary to deal with such a incident. I would only go higher up the chain if your current manager isn't addressing or acknowledging the impact on your shared working environment.
Making a mistake and blaming you could be in relation to something very serious in future, I would definitely keep a private record for this kind of thing. I wouldn't expect much to change though, I would consider finding a new job. Good luck with whatever course you take.
posted by captaincasserole at 3:26 AM on August 2, 2021
I used to work in bail bonds for a while and one of the things you learn real quick is that literally everyone has their story about what happened, why it's not what they thought or they didn't do it, and how the whole thing is unfair. It's like that scene in Shawshank where they've condensed their stories down to "Lawyer fucked me," or whatever. Everyone's got that story, it's not that interesting.
But since the bondsman (me) was usually the first person they'd see when they got released, they HAD to get it out. HAD to. It was like they'd been sitting in jail for hours writing it, and I could either listen to it and move them on through the process, or I could start an argument.
One thing I picked up from my boss was the power of neutral but positive sounding noises of agreement. He used "Okay" a lot. Whatever they said. It'd be this 12 paragraph story about how they SAY that he was breaking and entering but what happened was, see, this cousin I got, Reggie, well Reggie said...
Okay
and all I had to do was go down there
Okay
Mix it up with "Uh huh" and "Sure."
It sounds like you're agreeing with them so they take it positively, but it's really closer to active listening. Maybe neutral listening, like when you put an automatic transmission in neutral and you can rev the engine but the car isn't going anywhere. And once they finally get it all out, you can steer them into the stuff you care about. So something like that. "I hear that you are saying words but I am not getting involved because I don't care that much," is basically what you're saying.
There's a technique from a book called "So what's your proposal?" It's part of dealing with High Conflict Personalities (google it but it sounds like you're dealing with one). They're fishing for the conflict or trying to start something, but it's also useful for when someone is trying to a bunch of stuff on you and get you to solve the problem. It's like tennis and hits the ball back to them. "Okay, so what's your proposal?" And then you can agree or disagree or tell them to make a better one or turn it into a negotiation. A lot of times people that really crave conflict really do just want to start shit. If you turn it into a problem-solving thing, they either have to solve the problem they're trying to create or they go away.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:17 AM on August 2, 2021 [8 favorites]
But since the bondsman (me) was usually the first person they'd see when they got released, they HAD to get it out. HAD to. It was like they'd been sitting in jail for hours writing it, and I could either listen to it and move them on through the process, or I could start an argument.
One thing I picked up from my boss was the power of neutral but positive sounding noises of agreement. He used "Okay" a lot. Whatever they said. It'd be this 12 paragraph story about how they SAY that he was breaking and entering but what happened was, see, this cousin I got, Reggie, well Reggie said...
Okay
and all I had to do was go down there
Okay
Mix it up with "Uh huh" and "Sure."
It sounds like you're agreeing with them so they take it positively, but it's really closer to active listening. Maybe neutral listening, like when you put an automatic transmission in neutral and you can rev the engine but the car isn't going anywhere. And once they finally get it all out, you can steer them into the stuff you care about. So something like that. "I hear that you are saying words but I am not getting involved because I don't care that much," is basically what you're saying.
There's a technique from a book called "So what's your proposal?" It's part of dealing with High Conflict Personalities (google it but it sounds like you're dealing with one). They're fishing for the conflict or trying to start something, but it's also useful for when someone is trying to a bunch of stuff on you and get you to solve the problem. It's like tennis and hits the ball back to them. "Okay, so what's your proposal?" And then you can agree or disagree or tell them to make a better one or turn it into a negotiation. A lot of times people that really crave conflict really do just want to start shit. If you turn it into a problem-solving thing, they either have to solve the problem they're trying to create or they go away.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:17 AM on August 2, 2021 [8 favorites]
Does your company have an HR department you can go to? They may be able to assist or at least advise you.
Just remember, HR departments are there to help the company - and not you. If Maria has a longer tenure and knows people in HR, it will likely go nowhere, or turn out bad for you.
posted by rozcakj at 11:44 AM on August 2, 2021 [2 favorites]
Just remember, HR departments are there to help the company - and not you. If Maria has a longer tenure and knows people in HR, it will likely go nowhere, or turn out bad for you.
posted by rozcakj at 11:44 AM on August 2, 2021 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I mean, I'm sure she'll find a way to take it as a personal slight, or decide that she needs to talk to you all the time on vital business matters and can't get your attention, or something. But it might at least buy you a bit of time.
And if you can't get moved to another office/desk, ramp up whatever it is you're doing to bring closer the day you leave.
posted by penguin pie at 1:35 PM on August 1, 2021 [4 favorites]