3 br / 2 ba / 1 cat
July 30, 2021 6:22 AM   Subscribe

Potentially buying a house where the owner would prefer that his indoor/outdoor cat (10 yo F) stay with the new owners. That's hypothetically fine with us, but how should we manage introductions to our two indoor-outdoor cats (M, 9 and 7) and the dog (M, 11) ? Or is this a terrible idea?

"She thinks it's her house," the current owner said to us. I have concerns about litter box and food sharing and other territory issues. I definitely want to minimize the chaos for our guys, who will be leaving the only house they've known. There's a barn on a property and we could, if advised, relocate her out there temporarily or permanently.
posted by Sweetie Darling to Pets & Animals (14 answers total)
 
Poor kitty. If she could understand and choose between staying in/near the same house as it's occupied by a dog, new people, and several cats she doesn't know, or going with her beloved human to new stomping grounds, I think she would choose to go.

I also think your critters should have the best chance possible of moving peacefully into this new place, which can be hard.

I think you should say no. I don't agree with this current owner that it's best for the cat. I do sympathize with the hard decisions they're facing, which might involve wanting to move to a place the cat isn't welcome. But leaving the cat with the house like she's an unwanted lawnmower is the wrong answer and her person needs to do better.
posted by fritley at 6:53 AM on July 30, 2021 [30 favorites]


I see where fritley is coming from, but I dunno - I think the cat may be better off with new people who love and care about their pets, than with the person who's trying to ditch her. Do they have kids they'd like to leave with you, too?

(sorry not sorry)

Anyway - the animals will adjust to each other, or they won't, but either way it will be fine. A few years back I merged two households of 2 indoor/outdoor cats, 2 indoor cats, and 1 dog into a new household of indoor-only cats and one dog; the cats decidedly dislike one another, but it's fine. They still love us, they're still happy cats, they just have a little added excitement in their lives in the form of a hiss-and-slap fight every couple of weeks. The dog is confused but respectful.

I waffle a little on best practices here, since they're all indoor/outdoor and the previous owner's cat is probably going to be going through some stuff after being abandoned by her person. My biggest worry is that she might take off looking for her person, or feel so displaced she leaves and becomes a stray.

I might suggest keeping them all in through an introductory period where you do all the slow meet-and-greet stuff the internet tells you to do when introducing cats. Maybe keep the old owner's cat in one bedroom, your cats in another, and leave the open living areas as neutral ground for a while, trading them in and out so everybody has a chance to cheek-mark everything in peace before returning to their safe spots. I'd give this a long, slow ramp-up before actual introductions.

And in the meantime, love the hell out of the abandoned kitty, because she's going to need it. Plus it won't hurt to have her smell on you when you're petting your current cats!
posted by invincible summer at 7:26 AM on July 30, 2021 [14 favorites]


A number of years ago we bought a rural place that came with a couple of barn cats. They both died within six months of us moving in. I don't know if they were sick when we got there, or so stressed out from all the change or our the two cats and two dogs that we brought, or what. Whatever happened, we felt like shit about it and wished we'd pushed harder for the old owners to take their cats with them.

You do you, but I wouldn't do this again.
posted by dorothy hawk at 7:40 AM on July 30, 2021 [1 favorite]


Does the house's cat currently live with dogs and other cats? Are your cats indoor-outdoor? Those would be my big concerns here. If she is social with humans, she's not going to want to hang out in a barn alone. If you do decide to introduce them, lock the house kitty in a room for a while, so she doesn't adapt by just running away from all the new people/critters. Lots of litter boxes, in different places.

If the seller's real goal is to no longer have a cat, there is a chance he will just abandon the cat there anyway. I'm aware of a similar situation where the owners are also saying nice things about what the cat needs - but really they just don't want a cat anymore. Any seller doing this is taking a big risk that someone will say the right things to get the house, and not care for the cat afterwards.

Speaking of, I know the housing market is insane in a lot of places - but consider asking for money to cover the hassle of introductions and future vet care for this senior cat.
posted by mersen at 7:43 AM on July 30, 2021 [3 favorites]


I don't have any great advice (sorry!) but just a data point: When we added two cats (brother kittens) and already had two at home, an adult male and adult female, it took our female cat almost a year (!) to fully accept the new kitties. And she's still not a big fan. (We separated the new cats in their own room at first, etc.) It just seems like cat-to-cat introductions can be so tricky and sometimes the kitties never really get along. Good luck with the situation!
posted by trillian at 7:44 AM on July 30, 2021 [1 favorite]


I was told that dogs need stability in people, but cats need stability in territory.

As with human roommates, all the animals could get along poorly, or they could get along amazingly.
posted by aniola at 8:06 AM on July 30, 2021


I want to push back a little on the idea that the cat would definitely prefer the people to the house. When my parents moved into a previous house, the former owners moved just a few blocks away with their cat. My parents had to really work the first few months to keep the cat from coming back, including replacing the cat door with a more fortified cat door. Only after she was denied access to her old home for weeks at a time did the cat choose the people.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:29 AM on July 30, 2021 [3 favorites]


That cat is going to be extremely stressed out with the changes, the humans are going to be stressed out with the changes, and the opportunities for introducing this cat to your existing pet household are not ideal for either side.

It's possible that you are more enthusiastic than your question comes across, but you sound ambivalent at best. Do you want another cat? Do you want this cat?

I don't know if it's a terrible idea but I think it's a long stretch to it being a good one.
posted by sm1tten at 10:46 AM on July 30, 2021 [1 favorite]


If you are thinking about doing this, you might want to ask for a vet check first just to make sure you understand what you are taking on and be aware if there are obvious medical costs/medical drama in your future. In any case, it is an older cat so you can reliably predict health problems over the next few years.
posted by metahawk at 11:10 AM on July 30, 2021 [3 favorites]


A former renter of my parents' house took their cat aged 14 with them when they left. It died two months later. I think it's a very selfish idea that you can leave a cat with a new owner who will have absolutely no idea of its routine, likes and hates. I would challenge them on this, ask them to cover the insurance on the cat for up to two years and lower the price of the house.
posted by parmanparman at 3:34 PM on July 30, 2021 [1 favorite]


We took in our next-door neighbor's two cats about 20 years ago. They already were friends with our cats and our pomeranian-that-thinks-he's-a-cat, so they just had to learn to trust my husband and me, and stop trying to get into their old house which was bought by cat haters. One of them moved in within a week and was happy, but the other took more than a year to accept us, choosing to live outside and sneak in to eat. Then one day he just climbed up on me, having never allowed me to touch him before, and after that he was sweet and cuddly (but very stupid).
posted by buildmyworld at 8:45 PM on July 30, 2021 [1 favorite]


Well, somebody is getting a new cat.
Seconding insisting on a current vet exam to rule out expensive medical interventions that the original owners may be unwilling to pay for themselves.
Don't promise anything.
Insist on current vaccinations for the safety of your pets and for liability with your new neighbors.
As a local outdoor pet, the cat may rehome herself to another neighbor's yard.
What do the people next door and behind your property think about this? You will also be on the hook for getting along with them, and local ordinances and unofficial policies can limit how many pets you may have and whether they are welcome to roam the area at will.

Various tips about slow introductions abound, but the main takeaway is that if all pets have their own escape routes and their own territories, the current and the new residents will eventually make peace with each other. If things get too stressful, rehoming the cat will be the alternative.
If you are not comfortable with finding a new home for the cat, then refuse ownership.
posted by TrishaU at 11:24 AM on August 1, 2021


A follow-up. In this recent ask-me, the consensus appears to be that cats would prefer to stay at home with a petsitter than to go stay somewhere new with their person.
posted by aniola at 10:12 PM on August 12, 2021


I'd recommend Feliway Multicat, which is meant to reduce stress and tension between cats living together. Plug in a few diffusers around the home to give the maximum coverage.
posted by essexjan at 7:54 AM on October 29, 2021


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