Recalling a life-changing, happy event
July 18, 2021 3:36 AM Subscribe
How do I recall more completely a life-changing, happy event and set of circumstances?
I'd like to remember in greater detail something that changed my life, a moment of great joy. It's taken many years for me to even recognize the significance of it, but now that I do, I'd like to recapture the particulars. I recall some things about it with clarity, but other details seem fuzzy.
Would hypnosis help? Would there be a way to do this through self-hypnosis?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
I'd like to remember in greater detail something that changed my life, a moment of great joy. It's taken many years for me to even recognize the significance of it, but now that I do, I'd like to recapture the particulars. I recall some things about it with clarity, but other details seem fuzzy.
Would hypnosis help? Would there be a way to do this through self-hypnosis?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
Yes, hypnosis should work. Even with my rudimentary knowledge of self hypnosis, I've been able to recall verifiable trivia such as actor's names from vintage TV shows I had a modicum of interest in. It has been kind of a game for me. A good book on self hypnosis or psychologist specializing in hypnosis should help.
Good luck!
posted by hh1000 at 5:31 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
Good luck!
posted by hh1000 at 5:31 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
Note about Kevinbelt's answer above - I believe that the actual name of the concept is the Memory Palace. And yeah, it's a technique people used in the past (like, the ancient-Romans kind of past); you kind of imagine that your brain is a house, and assign different rooms in that house to different categories of things you need to remember. Like, if you need to remember a couple different kinds of groceries you need, like milk and eggs, you "stick that" in your memory by imagining milk and eggs sitting inside your "mind fridge". Then when you get to the grocery store, and you're trying to remember what you were getting, you call up the image of your "mind fridge" and see what's inside.
Like he said, that's more for remembering things in the future - but that kind of in-place grounding also works for past memory recall. It's something that Method Acting teachers tried on me for 3 years in an acting conservatory - and while I can't say it taught me how to act, it did teach me to call up some detailed sensory recall of some very old memories, like how my front door looked when I was five and the exact color of the crayon I was using when Dad came home with some bad news. You start by just imagining yourself IN the place where the memory in question happened - but you don't try to recall any events in any concrete sense. You're just in the room. And then you try to remember sensory details only - what the room sounded like, the exact color of things around you, the way your clothes felt, stuff like that. Imagine yourself exploring those things; you imagine yourself getting up and walking around, even when you didn't back at that time.
For that "dad came home with bad news" memory, for example, what I remembered of it at first was, I was sitting at a little table in the mud room and coloring a picture of a rainbow, and I remembered Dad coming in and saying something to Mom and she hugged him and cried and I felt freaked out because I'd never seen Mom cry. That was it. For the "memory exploration", though, I imagined myself back in the room, sitting at that table - and I tried to focus on what the crayon I was holding felt like, the exact color it was, where all the rest of the crayons were on the table. If I didn't get an image, that was fine. But I also imagined myself as being free to stand up and go across the room and study a picture on the wall closer, even if at the time this memory happened I didn't do that.
And it worked really unexpectedly well - at one point I imagined myself walking over to the door, and I was literally unable to imagine the door in a location that fit where my current height was. I was only capable of imagining the doorknob as being somewhere above my head - just as it would have been when I was five. And suddenly when I realized that I started "seeing" all these other half-recalled details of the room, like the coats in the corner and the way the light fell through the back windows and everything. And after several minutes of that the "place" got so vivid for me that it started re-awakening the emotion from that moment. (....Which is kind of what the "Sense Memory Recall" technique for acting is supposed to do anyway, so go me.)
Give it a whirl.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:57 AM on July 18, 2021 [4 favorites]
Like he said, that's more for remembering things in the future - but that kind of in-place grounding also works for past memory recall. It's something that Method Acting teachers tried on me for 3 years in an acting conservatory - and while I can't say it taught me how to act, it did teach me to call up some detailed sensory recall of some very old memories, like how my front door looked when I was five and the exact color of the crayon I was using when Dad came home with some bad news. You start by just imagining yourself IN the place where the memory in question happened - but you don't try to recall any events in any concrete sense. You're just in the room. And then you try to remember sensory details only - what the room sounded like, the exact color of things around you, the way your clothes felt, stuff like that. Imagine yourself exploring those things; you imagine yourself getting up and walking around, even when you didn't back at that time.
For that "dad came home with bad news" memory, for example, what I remembered of it at first was, I was sitting at a little table in the mud room and coloring a picture of a rainbow, and I remembered Dad coming in and saying something to Mom and she hugged him and cried and I felt freaked out because I'd never seen Mom cry. That was it. For the "memory exploration", though, I imagined myself back in the room, sitting at that table - and I tried to focus on what the crayon I was holding felt like, the exact color it was, where all the rest of the crayons were on the table. If I didn't get an image, that was fine. But I also imagined myself as being free to stand up and go across the room and study a picture on the wall closer, even if at the time this memory happened I didn't do that.
And it worked really unexpectedly well - at one point I imagined myself walking over to the door, and I was literally unable to imagine the door in a location that fit where my current height was. I was only capable of imagining the doorknob as being somewhere above my head - just as it would have been when I was five. And suddenly when I realized that I started "seeing" all these other half-recalled details of the room, like the coats in the corner and the way the light fell through the back windows and everything. And after several minutes of that the "place" got so vivid for me that it started re-awakening the emotion from that moment. (....Which is kind of what the "Sense Memory Recall" technique for acting is supposed to do anyway, so go me.)
Give it a whirl.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:57 AM on July 18, 2021 [4 favorites]
First figure out what type of memory you have, then figure out how to access the pathway to your specific memories.
Everyone is better at certain types of information than others. I am a person who is better at things than people. I can't do faces, get names muddled, years and dates don't seem important and while I have a good sense of direction I can't tell you which side of the room was longer if they were reasonably close. But I can tell you that the chair was a kind of turquoise green, painted wood and had knobs on the back. If it were me I would start by searching my memory for things.
So figure out what type of memory you have by examining your other memories. Can you remember the layout of your class room from a formative year, or the names of your class mates? The smell of the projector when it got hot, or the colour of the text books? The posters on the wall or the way you sandals felt on your feet? Do you remember feelings, spatial lay outs, things that move, relationships, colours, music, patterns of light?
Once you have figured out the type of memory you have, return in your mind to the event you want to remember and start try to work on the edges of it asking yourself questions about the types of memories you are most likely to have retained. What was in the doorway? Where was the house? What would have been breakfast? Who would have been there? What would you have been hold? Wearing? Ask about trivia, the peripheral things to do with the layout and the setting.
Now obviously you will not remember what you had for breakfast that morning, or exactly what you wore that day, but you might remember that you used to have breakfast with your boy friend, so you probably would have driven over in his car... And that in turn can trigger the memory of arriving.
The other thing it can do is lead you to the inaccessible neurological pathways you can't find - the buried memories. When you can't remember something one technique is to sleep on it, especially if you firmly impress on yourself that you want to remember this information, because you may very well remember it when you wake up. But another technique is to shift your location to one where you were when you did remember it.
Students are taught that if you do all your studying in your library, you may not recall your material when you get to the exam hall. It is way better to do your studying in multiple locations - the coffee shop, at home, the lawn of Addley Hall, on the bus, at grandma's etc. because you build multiple pathways to recall the material. In your case you need to go back to where you were when you could recall the memories.
If you can't go back to where you were physically because someone else lives in that house and you no longer live in that city, you can take a nostalgia trip instead. Find the music you would have been hearing back then, and look for visual images you would have seen then, cars, fashions etc - Just listening and looking to those things - family photos especially - are very likely to help you find the neurological pathway you want.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:42 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
Everyone is better at certain types of information than others. I am a person who is better at things than people. I can't do faces, get names muddled, years and dates don't seem important and while I have a good sense of direction I can't tell you which side of the room was longer if they were reasonably close. But I can tell you that the chair was a kind of turquoise green, painted wood and had knobs on the back. If it were me I would start by searching my memory for things.
So figure out what type of memory you have by examining your other memories. Can you remember the layout of your class room from a formative year, or the names of your class mates? The smell of the projector when it got hot, or the colour of the text books? The posters on the wall or the way you sandals felt on your feet? Do you remember feelings, spatial lay outs, things that move, relationships, colours, music, patterns of light?
Once you have figured out the type of memory you have, return in your mind to the event you want to remember and start try to work on the edges of it asking yourself questions about the types of memories you are most likely to have retained. What was in the doorway? Where was the house? What would have been breakfast? Who would have been there? What would you have been hold? Wearing? Ask about trivia, the peripheral things to do with the layout and the setting.
Now obviously you will not remember what you had for breakfast that morning, or exactly what you wore that day, but you might remember that you used to have breakfast with your boy friend, so you probably would have driven over in his car... And that in turn can trigger the memory of arriving.
The other thing it can do is lead you to the inaccessible neurological pathways you can't find - the buried memories. When you can't remember something one technique is to sleep on it, especially if you firmly impress on yourself that you want to remember this information, because you may very well remember it when you wake up. But another technique is to shift your location to one where you were when you did remember it.
Students are taught that if you do all your studying in your library, you may not recall your material when you get to the exam hall. It is way better to do your studying in multiple locations - the coffee shop, at home, the lawn of Addley Hall, on the bus, at grandma's etc. because you build multiple pathways to recall the material. In your case you need to go back to where you were when you could recall the memories.
If you can't go back to where you were physically because someone else lives in that house and you no longer live in that city, you can take a nostalgia trip instead. Find the music you would have been hearing back then, and look for visual images you would have seen then, cars, fashions etc - Just listening and looking to those things - family photos especially - are very likely to help you find the neurological pathway you want.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:42 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
I find cannabis really enhances this type of memory recall (despite screwing up your short term memory while you're under the influence.) That's what I'd try first if I were you.
posted by Redstart at 7:46 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Redstart at 7:46 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
As I understand it, hypnosis can help the production of memories, but it doesn't necessarily help the production of accurate memories. In other words, under hypnosis, your brain might present you a host of vivid details, but you won't know what was retrieved from memory, and what was invented on the spot.
That said, it's not like you need to testify to about this stuff under oath. If your goal is to relive a happy experience as vividly as possible, then having some happy invented details thrown in with the happy remembered details might be a feature, not a bug.
Another approach would be to take advantage of state dependent memory and context dependent memory. When you store a memory, it gets tangled up with internal stuff like how you're feeling, and external stuff like where you are. When you're angry, it becomes easier to remember other times you've been angry. When you're under water, it becomes easier to remember things you learned under water. (Seriously! This was an actual study!)
So, try to recreate the situation as much as you can. If it took place at the beach, try to recall it while at an actual real-life beach. The scent of saltwater might unlock memories that aren't accessible in your living room. Try to recreate your emotional state as well-- if you were hungry and your heart was pounding with nervousness when it happened, then skip a meal and watch a horror film before you try to remember it.
CAVEAT: I am the author of a book called How To Remember Everything and I've got a pretty good layman's understanding of memory, but I'm not any kind of trained scientist.
posted by yankeefog at 8:01 AM on July 18, 2021 [3 favorites]
That said, it's not like you need to testify to about this stuff under oath. If your goal is to relive a happy experience as vividly as possible, then having some happy invented details thrown in with the happy remembered details might be a feature, not a bug.
Another approach would be to take advantage of state dependent memory and context dependent memory. When you store a memory, it gets tangled up with internal stuff like how you're feeling, and external stuff like where you are. When you're angry, it becomes easier to remember other times you've been angry. When you're under water, it becomes easier to remember things you learned under water. (Seriously! This was an actual study!)
So, try to recreate the situation as much as you can. If it took place at the beach, try to recall it while at an actual real-life beach. The scent of saltwater might unlock memories that aren't accessible in your living room. Try to recreate your emotional state as well-- if you were hungry and your heart was pounding with nervousness when it happened, then skip a meal and watch a horror film before you try to remember it.
CAVEAT: I am the author of a book called How To Remember Everything and I've got a pretty good layman's understanding of memory, but I'm not any kind of trained scientist.
posted by yankeefog at 8:01 AM on July 18, 2021 [3 favorites]
Yeah, memory palace. Had a weird autocorrect thing there. Sorry.
posted by kevinbelt at 8:43 AM on July 18, 2021
posted by kevinbelt at 8:43 AM on July 18, 2021
YMMV, but I’ve often remembered additional details of long-past events during a weed high.
posted by mekily at 8:51 AM on July 18, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by mekily at 8:51 AM on July 18, 2021 [2 favorites]
Also see if you can recreate sensations of the event, the smells, the sounds, do you have any photos of the location or can you find them online, what were you eating or drinking?. Sometimes memories need a jump start and sometimes trying to remember specific details, was it hot or cold, what were you wearing, instead of I just want to remember can help and snowball to other memories.
You may also want to look into Lucid dreaming.
posted by wwax at 12:05 PM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
You may also want to look into Lucid dreaming.
posted by wwax at 12:05 PM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
Was anyone else present? Or did you tell anyone else about it at the time? If so, talk to them about it; people remember different things and something they say may trigger additional memories for you.
posted by carmicha at 5:42 PM on July 18, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by carmicha at 5:42 PM on July 18, 2021 [2 favorites]
Lynda Barry has a writing exercise (possibly called "writing the unthinkable"; there's a lot of lost-in-translation information about this online) that has you think of a noun and ask yourself questions about it - like, specifically:
Are you inside or outside?
Is it day or night?
What’s to your left?
What’s to your right?
Above?
Below?
So if you take one of those moments of clarity and pick a specific object in it, and then ask yourself for more detailed information about that object, that might help prompt other parts of the experience to become clearer in your memory.
posted by kristi at 5:29 PM on July 19, 2021 [2 favorites]
Are you inside or outside?
Is it day or night?
What’s to your left?
What’s to your right?
Above?
Below?
So if you take one of those moments of clarity and pick a specific object in it, and then ask yourself for more detailed information about that object, that might help prompt other parts of the experience to become clearer in your memory.
posted by kristi at 5:29 PM on July 19, 2021 [2 favorites]
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posted by kevinbelt at 5:05 AM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]