How do I work more? Anxiety, ADHD, work from home
May 16, 2021 8:13 PM Subscribe
I have an intellectually challenging work-from-home freelancing job (research and writing). I feel sort of guilty for not working more (because isn't productivity important?), not taking the opportunity to earn more money to set myself up for the unexpected things that are bound to happen in the future, and not taking the opportunity to develop my career more.
I am very lucky in that I am good at and interested in what I do, can largely pick and choose projects, and make enough money per hour that I can support myself working part time.
If I have an amount of work to do where it is not 100% clear that I will easily have way more than enough time to get it all done without it being unpleasant at all, I feel really overwhelmed. The fact that I am this way is sometimes embarrassing and I feel like such a whiny baby for complaining about a situation that most people would find much less stressful than the jobs they have.
I also have a really hard time getting started and the solution I've found to my procrastination problems is that I have a rule that I have to do some work every day/6 days a week, but that I can stop when I feel like it. Before I found this solution, I had a couple really rough years where I basically lived off my savings because I could not make myself do anything.
Now this system means that I start out doing maybe 45 minutes of work a day and then by the end of the week, I have more momentum going and do more, adding up to 10-15 hours of work a week unless I really had to do more to meet a deadline. I am mentally exhausted after working 4 hours in a day even while taking long breaks during the day.
It's also been hard during COVID because I was not comfortable going out and breaking up the day by going to a coffee shop or the library or whatever. I'm still not comfortable hanging out indoors even if it's officially ok now.
Affecting things is mild ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder that is still a thing I work around daily and was often debilitating until I left a stressful office job and became able to support myself freelancing like I did now, and bipolar disorder/depression that is pretty well under control. I feel like I have pretty much maxed out how well I can manage these things (meds, meditation, exercise) and that it would be more stressful to try to "fix" myself further than to just accept that this is how I am. The great thing about being at home is that I don't have to expend a bunch of energy trying to seem like I'm normal and masking the problem.
For anyone who has been in the same boat or a similar boat...do you have strategies that have worked in getting yourself to do more work without being exhausted and miserable? And/or any advice about the situation?
I am very lucky in that I am good at and interested in what I do, can largely pick and choose projects, and make enough money per hour that I can support myself working part time.
If I have an amount of work to do where it is not 100% clear that I will easily have way more than enough time to get it all done without it being unpleasant at all, I feel really overwhelmed. The fact that I am this way is sometimes embarrassing and I feel like such a whiny baby for complaining about a situation that most people would find much less stressful than the jobs they have.
I also have a really hard time getting started and the solution I've found to my procrastination problems is that I have a rule that I have to do some work every day/6 days a week, but that I can stop when I feel like it. Before I found this solution, I had a couple really rough years where I basically lived off my savings because I could not make myself do anything.
Now this system means that I start out doing maybe 45 minutes of work a day and then by the end of the week, I have more momentum going and do more, adding up to 10-15 hours of work a week unless I really had to do more to meet a deadline. I am mentally exhausted after working 4 hours in a day even while taking long breaks during the day.
It's also been hard during COVID because I was not comfortable going out and breaking up the day by going to a coffee shop or the library or whatever. I'm still not comfortable hanging out indoors even if it's officially ok now.
Affecting things is mild ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder that is still a thing I work around daily and was often debilitating until I left a stressful office job and became able to support myself freelancing like I did now, and bipolar disorder/depression that is pretty well under control. I feel like I have pretty much maxed out how well I can manage these things (meds, meditation, exercise) and that it would be more stressful to try to "fix" myself further than to just accept that this is how I am. The great thing about being at home is that I don't have to expend a bunch of energy trying to seem like I'm normal and masking the problem.
For anyone who has been in the same boat or a similar boat...do you have strategies that have worked in getting yourself to do more work without being exhausted and miserable? And/or any advice about the situation?
Sounds like the real goal is 'make more money' as opposed to just 'work more', so...Can you raise your hourly rate? Or switch to a per project rate that nets an increase in your pay?
posted by ananci at 5:43 AM on May 17, 2021
posted by ananci at 5:43 AM on May 17, 2021
When you take breaks, what are you doing? Is it internet stuff? Because I've found that as tempting as that is, it's not refreshing at all. When I take a break, I get in bed under my weighted blanket with some fidget toys, water or tea, a book or a calming but enjoyable video game, and sometimes some gentle music. I call this my "sensory time" and the difference to my nervous system is immeasurable. I actually won't realize how high my heart rate is until I've been relaxing for a little while and then I'm like, "Holy shit, I must be so stressed." And I only realize if I specifically take time to calm down in that way. Could be something to try? If your breaks aren't actually restorative, you could be pushing yourself farther than you think because you never actually got a break.
posted by brook horse at 6:34 AM on May 17, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by brook horse at 6:34 AM on May 17, 2021 [8 favorites]
I have had this same problem since Covid. What has helped for me has been:
1. Second office space, away from games.
2. Lifting heavy weights.
3. A "get stuff done" routine.
4. I got diagnosed with ADHD and take a very small dose of offbrand adderall XR on mornings when I need to get stuff done.
5. Eating lots of food.
6. Checking in with my boss once a week on tuesday to set my priorities really clear.
I hope this list of what has worked for me, is somewhat helpful for you!
posted by bbqturtle at 7:25 AM on May 17, 2021
1. Second office space, away from games.
2. Lifting heavy weights.
3. A "get stuff done" routine.
4. I got diagnosed with ADHD and take a very small dose of offbrand adderall XR on mornings when I need to get stuff done.
5. Eating lots of food.
6. Checking in with my boss once a week on tuesday to set my priorities really clear.
I hope this list of what has worked for me, is somewhat helpful for you!
posted by bbqturtle at 7:25 AM on May 17, 2021
I think your procrastination solution is great and you should not shame yourself out of it! I use a similar approach for my own writing/research work. When I need to ramp up my productivity, I will break up my days into smaller chunks in which I must do something but can stop whenever. Around here this amount of work is known as a [My Last Name] Unit or a Minimal Work Unit, and for greater productivity times I might require a unit in the morning and a unit after lunch, or whatever blocks of time make sense around my schedule.
I find it really useful to break up my day with a longish walk: Get some kind of work done before the walk (sometimes even before I get out of bed), then go on the walk with full permission to think about whatever I like while on the walk (though I often wind up dictating some notes to myself on my phone in the last homeword-bound stretch of the walk because things come to mind once I've been ambling long enough), get some more work done when I arrive home after walk.
posted by redfoxtail at 7:55 AM on May 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I find it really useful to break up my day with a longish walk: Get some kind of work done before the walk (sometimes even before I get out of bed), then go on the walk with full permission to think about whatever I like while on the walk (though I often wind up dictating some notes to myself on my phone in the last homeword-bound stretch of the walk because things come to mind once I've been ambling long enough), get some more work done when I arrive home after walk.
posted by redfoxtail at 7:55 AM on May 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I find having a ‘to do’ list with big tasks on it can be really intimidating, just big indigestible lumps. Plus they take ages and then you only get to cross one thing off the list.
So I break down my tasks, especially the hard or intimidating ones, into tiny little chunks. It makes things I’m dreading seem more manageable and achievable - i think i have a habit of thinking things are worse than they really are. I say to myself that I only have to score one thing off the list but it usually gets me started and I get more done. The feeling of having progressed and scoring things off your list is really pleasant as well.
Also, try not to beat yourself up about it if you get less done than you wanted. I do that, and it doesn’t help me get more done, it just makes me slink away and feel even worse about it.
posted by ElasticParrot at 8:13 AM on May 17, 2021
So I break down my tasks, especially the hard or intimidating ones, into tiny little chunks. It makes things I’m dreading seem more manageable and achievable - i think i have a habit of thinking things are worse than they really are. I say to myself that I only have to score one thing off the list but it usually gets me started and I get more done. The feeling of having progressed and scoring things off your list is really pleasant as well.
Also, try not to beat yourself up about it if you get less done than you wanted. I do that, and it doesn’t help me get more done, it just makes me slink away and feel even worse about it.
posted by ElasticParrot at 8:13 AM on May 17, 2021
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posted by sixswitch at 9:46 PM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]