Books on Attachment Theory

May 15, 2021 9:53 AM

I'd like some recommendations for good books on attachment theory. Specifically:

1. one about attachment styles in adults, and how they play out in relationships, and
2. a parenting book about developing good attachment styles in babies and young children.

My preference is for relatively quick reads on these topics, as long as they do a good job.
posted by cosmic.osmo to Human Relations (10 answers total)

Attached is pretty much the standard, popular, relatively quick read for your first category. It's helpful.
posted by nantucket at 10:19 AM on May 15, 2021 [5 favorites]

Becoming Attached by Robert Karen is not a quick read, but he's a great writer, and it's an amazing book. It gives the whole history of attachment theory, the key players, Bowlby, Ainsworth, et al.

I'm biased toward this book because it was life-changing for me when I read it in the late 90s -- because I saw, Ah, wow, this is me. It got me into therapy.
posted by swheatie at 10:35 AM on May 15, 2021

look no further than the Attached book mentioned above
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:40 AM on May 15, 2021 [1 favorite]

Please be careful in linking "attachment parenting" to attachment theory. It can get toxic pretty fast.
posted by warriorqueen at 11:34 AM on May 15, 2021 [8 favorites]

Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson is about attachment in romantic relationships.

Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change by Mario, Shaver, Phillip R. Mikulincer is a textbook but might be worth looking at.
posted by Violet Hour at 3:39 PM on May 15, 2021

The Attachment Connection by Ruth Newton
posted by rglass at 7:23 PM on May 15, 2021

For the second category, I'd recommend Parenting from the Inside Out by Siegel and Hartzell (Goodreads). For some context, I asked my therapist for books on parenting to help me with my own inner child (not really about future children). It wasn't a particularly quick/easy read for me, but it felt thoroughly researched and helped me along my therapeutic journey.
posted by sincerely yours at 10:26 PM on May 15, 2021

Strange Situation
posted by kokaku at 2:58 AM on May 16, 2021

Attached, as mentioned above.

For the second category I love The Whole-Brain Child.
posted by Otis the Lion at 10:35 AM on May 16, 2021

Nth-ing Strange Situation by Bethany Saltman and adding this great podcast she did with Janet Lansbury on the book
posted by shesdeadimalive at 5:00 PM on May 16, 2021