How to politely address children exhibiting stimming behavior at museum?

May 9, 2021 11:43 AM

I work as a security guard in a small art museum, an issue I sometimes run into is trying to find a way to politely ask kids or their parents to maintain more distance when they're exhibiting certain physical stimming behaviors near the artwork. I've had mixed success with using my go to line "Hi I know you're being careful but we ask you maintain at least a foot of distance from the artwork." Usually it goes fine but I've had some people get upset with me or continue to get too close after being asked.

The last thing I want to do is be rude or make a guest uncomfortable but I've had times where people have come into contact with art during these activities. Does anyone have any suggestions on a compassionate/sensitive way to broach the topic or to follow up with situations where it keeps happening after being addressed the first time without people feel like they're being harassed/singled out?

Please forgive me if this question comes off as rude or inconsiderate, it's coming from a place of concern and wanting interact with people in a way that makes them feel welcome. Let me know if I messed up so I can do better.

posted by Ferreous to Human Relations (12 answers total)

Have you tried phrasing that literally (first) says that whatever behavior they're doing is fine but that they need to do it slightly farther from the art (since everyone has to be x distance from the art)?
posted by needs more cowbell at 11:52 AM on May 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

To address a part of the question, the last time I was at a museum, a friend got too close to the art by accident. The guard said something like, "Oh, would you mind taking a step back for me? By the way, this is one of my favorite pieces here." The guard also said some interesting tidbit about the artist as well. I thought the polite correction followed quickly by a friendly and informative comment was very kind, humanizing, and classy. And it actually ended up with the guard and my friend chatting for a minute.
posted by Uncle Glendinning at 11:55 AM on May 9, 2021 [48 favorites]

Does your museum put any markers on the floor to indicate the buffer distance? I think after this year you'll find most people subconsciously respecting those, and when someone isn't respecting that buffer it puts you in a position of just prompting a pre-established social contract.

So many print shops are geared up to do this now, with stickers that can be removed without a mark, it should be easy to have tasteful simple ones made and should make this much easier on everybody.

I don't think you need to address the stimming, just that everybody (thus all the parts of every body) should stay X far back. I think that's pretty normal museum protocol. People in general are terrible estimators of distance. It may help if you model that distance yourself if you do need to point it out, and you can definitely take some of the sting out by engaging with the art, as has been suggested above.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:01 PM on May 9, 2021 [11 favorites]

I think your desire to improve how you approach these interactions is good and there are useful suggestions here already. But I do think you need to be realistic that, while you should be able to have the vast majority of interactions go well, there is always a risk that someone will be upset or not comply because that's the kind of day they're having.
posted by plonkee at 12:09 PM on May 9, 2021 [5 favorites]

I would think that while your intentions are great, it would be more humiliating and shaming to seem as if you're treating stimming behavior near a painting any differently than you treat any other person getting too near a painting. The issue isn't stimming, it's being too close to the painting, whether the person is quietly peering at it from inches away or moving around from inches away. Just state the rule, "Sorry, no one is allowed within X feet of the art, thank you." There are also neurotypical people (both adults and kids) who will refuse to back away from paintings, or will back away but then keep getting too close, for their own reasons so you should have a predesignated way to deal with resistance in all cases.
posted by nantucket at 12:25 PM on May 9, 2021 [17 favorites]

Another vote for keep it simple "I'm sorry, you are too close to art, can you back up a bit please?" Say it with a smile and in a gentle tone. And yes, a friend once had this job, and I'm afraid there is no way these interactions will always go well - some people don't like being told what to do.
posted by coffeecat at 12:30 PM on May 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

I am a person who has serious proprioception problems and often get too close to artwork by accident; I was permanently scared out of this by an invisible laser alarm once. I'm guessing you can't afford these for every work you have, but a line on the floor would really help. This takes the responsibility off of you a lot and would be a very cost-effective move for your institution.
posted by epanalepsis at 12:41 PM on May 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

I have a kiddo with sensory processing disorder and her proprioception is a bit haywire. That said, she is truly capable of learning rules, and telling her that she's too close would help. It also helps if you put it into context for her. Instead of telling her to move back, it helps to say "please take 4 big steps back" because that puts it into a measurable context for her. She doesn't have the intuitive notion that others do of personal space or a space bubble, even around artwork. Of course, the parents should know this, too, and they should be more responsible in interpreting your instructions. But I know that's not always the case.
posted by Ostara at 2:52 PM on May 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

Also, my daughter gets too close when she's really excited about the artwork. And she is so used to receiving negative feedback from everyone that it would help if the encounter started positively. Something like "I love that piece too, it's so colorful! Would you mind taking four big steps back from the artwork, though? Thank you!"
posted by Ostara at 2:54 PM on May 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

"A gentle reminder to please...." is one my favorite go-to phrases for asking someone to do/not do something. For you it might be something like "good afternoon everyone, a gentle reminder that we ask all of our guests to please stay at least one foot away from the art so that everyone can enjoy it. Thank you so much, we appreciate your understanding." Addressing groups of people in the plural (when possible) might help ease the singled out feeling - even if there's only one offender in cluster of people. It’s okay to ask more than once. Especially with excited kids - stuff like this may not stick for very long. Ostara's four big steps back is pretty brilliant, especially if you can make it goofy and playful.

I don't think the padding you mentioned is necessary or makes much of an impact. This is really simple, reasonable request. People inclined take offense or read it as a criticism are going to take offense and there's not much you can do about it. And yeah, it's probably a best to avoid jargon like stimming. Not everyone knows what that means (I had to Google it and still don't quite understand what it is). Just keep it cheerful, short, specific then move on.
posted by space_cookie at 3:18 PM on May 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

I wonder making that "line on the floor" tactile (i.e. you can feel it through your shoe) would make any difference?
posted by kschang at 4:45 AM on May 10, 2021

I work in a museum with many very large artifacts that we’re not able to hide behind glass or rope off due to how our exhibits are arranged.

For kids older than about 5, I use it as an opportunity to explain that even though your hands may be clean, we all have natural oils on our hands that can get on the artifacts and harm them over time and we want *everyone* to be able to enjoy them for many years. For super-littles, I explain that we don’t want them to break as we want to share them with as many people as we can. I will then share a few fun facts about the objects or offer one of our free scavenger hunts to the family.

Kids relate well to this logic of sharing and keeping the objects safe for a long time, and this approach has almost always worked.
posted by oywiththepoodles at 6:26 AM on May 10, 2021 [2 favorites]