Are these interactions between our cats something to worry about?
April 11, 2021 7:52 AM Subscribe
Should I be concerned about my resident cat stalking my new cat to the point where the new cat pops off?
My wife and I adopted a kitten last summer (we'll call her J), and we adopted a second cat last month (we'll call her K). The two cats are both female, both fixed, and are around the same age (born in June 2020).
We went through the slow introductions and over the last week or so began to let them more freely interact, which has been a series of ups and down but on the most part, ups.
We've noticed a pattern of behaviour, though, that I want to query the hive mind on to see if it's something that could potentially dictate their relationship going forward. When one of them enters a room the other is in, J starts following K and K is usually fairly ambivalent about it. J will trot up behind K and give her a little play swipe on the backside: no claws, so I think it's playing. K typically doesn't engage (we were told that since she was a rescue, K would probably always be quiet and reserved compared to a kitten we had from when she was around 10 weeks), but sometimes J will corner/box K when she does this. Once that happens K will rise up and hiss/chase J for a few seconds. J usually takes that as a sign to leave K alone and K goes back to chilling somewhere quiet.
Is this behaviour something I should be concerned about or is it a natural process wherein both cats establish their boundaries? We know they may never be bosom buddies, but we also don't want them to actively dislike or fear each other. I also know that it takes time for cats to adjust, but we want to make sure we allow positive/natural interactions to carry on while we deflect/prevent negative ones. We're using Feliway in the house and we just bought a Thundershirt for J, in hopes that it tamps down some of her impulses to stalk and swat and that by cooling down J, they can interact more closely without it escalating.
My wife and I adopted a kitten last summer (we'll call her J), and we adopted a second cat last month (we'll call her K). The two cats are both female, both fixed, and are around the same age (born in June 2020).
We went through the slow introductions and over the last week or so began to let them more freely interact, which has been a series of ups and down but on the most part, ups.
We've noticed a pattern of behaviour, though, that I want to query the hive mind on to see if it's something that could potentially dictate their relationship going forward. When one of them enters a room the other is in, J starts following K and K is usually fairly ambivalent about it. J will trot up behind K and give her a little play swipe on the backside: no claws, so I think it's playing. K typically doesn't engage (we were told that since she was a rescue, K would probably always be quiet and reserved compared to a kitten we had from when she was around 10 weeks), but sometimes J will corner/box K when she does this. Once that happens K will rise up and hiss/chase J for a few seconds. J usually takes that as a sign to leave K alone and K goes back to chilling somewhere quiet.
Is this behaviour something I should be concerned about or is it a natural process wherein both cats establish their boundaries? We know they may never be bosom buddies, but we also don't want them to actively dislike or fear each other. I also know that it takes time for cats to adjust, but we want to make sure we allow positive/natural interactions to carry on while we deflect/prevent negative ones. We're using Feliway in the house and we just bought a Thundershirt for J, in hopes that it tamps down some of her impulses to stalk and swat and that by cooling down J, they can interact more closely without it escalating.
Play fighting and real fighting are easy to tell apart. The next time they're doing their thing, watch closely with an eye for the following:
Body position: when playing, cats will generally lean forward and face each other. When fighting, weight will be on the back feet and one or both cats will turn their body rigidly to the side to avoid a direct gaze (eye contact is a sign of aggression in cats)
Ears: when playing, ears will point up and forward; when fighting, they'll be pinned flat against the head
Whiskers: when fighting, the whiskers will be fully splayed out and pushed forward. When playing, they'll be relaxed and hang from the cheeks
Fur: When playing, the fur will be flat--which is how it is by default. When fighting, the fur does what our hair does when we get goose bumps: it stands on end, puffing up the cat to make it look 2x larger
Sound/vocalization: when playing, cats generally make little to no noise. When they're fighting. they hiss, growl, and caterwaul.
Reciprocity: play fighting is give-and-take. One cat is the aggressor and does the stalking and initiates the wrestling/roughhousing. Then they switch roles. In real fighting, that doesn't happen. The fight continues until one of the cats submits, either by running away, or laying on it's side to expose the stomach
posted by BadgerDoctor at 8:51 AM on April 11, 2021 [6 favorites]
Body position: when playing, cats will generally lean forward and face each other. When fighting, weight will be on the back feet and one or both cats will turn their body rigidly to the side to avoid a direct gaze (eye contact is a sign of aggression in cats)
Ears: when playing, ears will point up and forward; when fighting, they'll be pinned flat against the head
Whiskers: when fighting, the whiskers will be fully splayed out and pushed forward. When playing, they'll be relaxed and hang from the cheeks
Fur: When playing, the fur will be flat--which is how it is by default. When fighting, the fur does what our hair does when we get goose bumps: it stands on end, puffing up the cat to make it look 2x larger
Sound/vocalization: when playing, cats generally make little to no noise. When they're fighting. they hiss, growl, and caterwaul.
Reciprocity: play fighting is give-and-take. One cat is the aggressor and does the stalking and initiates the wrestling/roughhousing. Then they switch roles. In real fighting, that doesn't happen. The fight continues until one of the cats submits, either by running away, or laying on it's side to expose the stomach
posted by BadgerDoctor at 8:51 AM on April 11, 2021 [6 favorites]
It sounds like K is a little afraid of J, which is understandable. Maybe do the Feliway thing to de-stress them (and the specific pheromone involved there might be helpful for bonding, or not).
What I would do is make it so that K sees you playing with K, so she can get an idea of what play looks like and that K sincerely likes to play without hunting. I'd also play a little -- the same way -- with K so that she knows how to do it/what it feels like, then eventually invite K to play along with you and J.
The specific play type is probably important. Starting with something gentle and in a small space could be great, so I might start with the classic shoelace-on-the-floor. Most cats can't resist it! You can also vary the length of the shoelace to whatever works best. You'll be sitting right there, very close to J, so K can see that playing in close quarters works for y'all.
Bonus: if J has any issues with play boundaries, like biting hands / kittens too hard, you can do the classic loud high "meep!" to let her know how to play gently. DITTO WITH K - if she's been away from other kittens most of her life, she'll have to learn play boundaries with you.
Never leave the shoelace laying around -- it will get eaten and could be extremely dangerous, plus it will be MORE FUN and special if they only get to play with it when you decide to and are present.
Move to other toys -- tiny fur mice, etc. -- and expand the play space as K becomes more confident.
Good luck!
posted by amtho at 9:18 AM on April 11, 2021
What I would do is make it so that K sees you playing with K, so she can get an idea of what play looks like and that K sincerely likes to play without hunting. I'd also play a little -- the same way -- with K so that she knows how to do it/what it feels like, then eventually invite K to play along with you and J.
The specific play type is probably important. Starting with something gentle and in a small space could be great, so I might start with the classic shoelace-on-the-floor. Most cats can't resist it! You can also vary the length of the shoelace to whatever works best. You'll be sitting right there, very close to J, so K can see that playing in close quarters works for y'all.
Bonus: if J has any issues with play boundaries, like biting hands / kittens too hard, you can do the classic loud high "meep!" to let her know how to play gently. DITTO WITH K - if she's been away from other kittens most of her life, she'll have to learn play boundaries with you.
Never leave the shoelace laying around -- it will get eaten and could be extremely dangerous, plus it will be MORE FUN and special if they only get to play with it when you decide to and are present.
Move to other toys -- tiny fur mice, etc. -- and expand the play space as K becomes more confident.
Good luck!
posted by amtho at 9:18 AM on April 11, 2021
Sounds like your older cat is establishing dominance and see how far he can push.
posted by kschang at 10:35 AM on April 11, 2021
posted by kschang at 10:35 AM on April 11, 2021
That sounds like fine healthy cat interaction to me. I have two same-age brothers, and they fight much more than that — the only way to tell that the rolling ball of fur is the two of them play fighting as opposed to real violence is that there’s no yelling and no injuries. If no one’s bleeding, no one’s tail is expanded to three times normal size, and you’re not hearing warbling yowls, I would leave them to it.
posted by LizardBreath at 10:50 AM on April 11, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by LizardBreath at 10:50 AM on April 11, 2021 [1 favorite]
My cats are Super Best Friends in a deeply codependent way, and they do this to each other every day. I wouldn't worry. :)
posted by tiny frying pan at 8:11 AM on April 12, 2021
posted by tiny frying pan at 8:11 AM on April 12, 2021
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