Upstairs neighbor is a clumsy elephant... or at least it sounds that way

March 12, 2021 11:57 AM

I've lived in the same high-rise condo unit for 8 years. About a year ago, new tenants moved in above us and the amount of noise they make is unbearable. I've made multiple complaints to the building manager. I'm looking to list my unit for sale in a month. What more can I do about the noise?

In all the years I've lived here, I've never had any issues with the upstairs neighbors. Of course there has been a little noise, that's to be expected even in a concrete high-rise building. But ever since new tenants moved in, it has been really bad.

The stomping. For HOURS on end, almost every day, I can hear the tenant stomping back and forth, back and forth, across the unit. The hammering and pounding! Randomly throughout the day, I hear the sound of someone pounding on the floors, on the walls, who even knows. WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM. The clattering and banging. It often sounds like whoever is stomping around stumbles and falls, dropping armfuls of hard, heavy objects. There are also sounds like someone is dragging heavy furniture across the floor. At times it sounds as though the tenants are thoroughly destroying the unit.

Every time I've emailed a complaint to our building manager, he comes back and says, "The tenant apologizes and promises it won't happen again," or "The tenant apologizes for his little one." I have a hard time believing that a small child is making this amount of noise. My partner agrees that the stomping, if nothing else, must be from a very large adult. I'd like to emphasize again that I've lived here for 8 years and have never heard noise like this from any of the other presumably adult-sized owners or tenants. It also goes on at all hours - I very much doubt a small child is up and stomping away or rearranging furniture in the hours of 10pm to 1am.

I also reported them for having a party against our region's Covid restrictions, when I could hear music blasting and multiple different voices talking on their balcony, but nothing came of it except another "The tenant promises it won't happen again." The thought has occurred to me that maybe they are demolishing the interior and renovating, but the building manager is adamant that the occupants are tenants, not owners, so it seems unlikely. There are also no sounds of power tools, just the constant stomping and banging.

I am not able to visit the tenant myself, as our elevators only permit residents to go up to their own floor. I'm not sure what good that would do anyway. I am planning on listing the unit for sale in about a month or so. While I'm glad that we will be moving away from this noise, I'm terrified that it will scare off prospective buyers - I know I'd be concerned if I went to a viewing and heard that amount of noise coming from above. It would call into question the quality of the building, even though, again, I really don't think it's a normal level of noise caused by normal use of the unit above.

Is there anything else I can do? Or must I just pray that they won't sabotage the sale of my condo unit?

posted by keep it under cover to Home & Garden (21 answers total)

You can probably deduce their address, if they're directly above you, so you could mail them a nice letter, perhaps with your phone number to chat? It's tough not to come across as passive aggressive in text under the circumstances but it seems like your options are limited. (On reread: sorry, this sounds accusatory towards you possibly? I just mean that coming in as friendly as you can possibly manage, even if you are justifiably mad, is somewhat tactically more likely to yield results.)

As someone with a small child, I can confirm that "stumbles and falls while carrying armfuls of hard heavy objects" is 100% a daily occurrence - even a favorite hobby (sigh). We do try to encourage Child to do so on the rug, though, for the downstairs neighbor's sake.
posted by february at 12:20 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

Look up the name and address of the landlords in county tax records and contact them directly. There's a good chance they would appreciate knowing. Tell them you're concerned that there's a grow-op being built, unauthorized alterations, or excessive damage. They might also just be mortified that their tenants are bothering you.
posted by dum spiro spero at 12:22 PM on March 12, 2021 [7 favorites]

I wonder if the previous tenant had carpet and now people are stumbling and clattering all over a wood floor? I have new neighbors that I swear are playing hockey next door, but nope, it’s just people walking around on a hard floor. Every time they drop something it’s shockingly loud. Rugs might help?
posted by corey flood at 12:46 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

Does your condo association not have some kind of rules regarding noise and general neighborliness? I have lived in co-ops (different management structure) and we had explicit rules about amount of rugs/carpeting required on hardwood floors, quiet hours, parties, etc.

Wherever you move to next, ask in advance about whether or not they have any kind of rules/agreements in place and how they're enforced.
posted by brookeb at 12:58 PM on March 12, 2021

Having lived downstairs from an insomniac toddler-to-preschooler for a few years, I can confirm that yes, "little ones" can make an extraordinary amount of noise, even really late at night. I think it's just that they completely lack any kind of grace and they are only capable of stomping. And they're probably even stompier when they're tired. This may or may not be your neighbors' *only* problem, but it's definitely plausible to me that an unbearable amount of noise is coming from a small child. And, like, that may or may not say anything about the parenting skills of the people upstairs but if they can't fix the problem for themselves they're unlikely to do it for you.

No actual advice; it was amazing when they moved out. It was like having a whole different apartment.
posted by mskyle at 12:59 PM on March 12, 2021 [8 favorites]

I agree that it could be a carpeting change causing the difference in noise. It doesn’t seem like you’ve approached the residents directly.... it’s worth doing this before selling your unit and moving out. There’s a chance they will be hostile, but there’s also a chance that they’ll be sympathetic and work with you to ameliorate the noise. You could even offer to spring for new carpeting.
posted by bq at 1:01 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

Maybe they're just a heel-walker. People who put their heel down first when they walk around tend to produce a lot of vibration through the floor. I grew up with a couple of family members who did it, and it's way louder downstairs than it sounds above the floor.

If that's the case, I reckon you're probably not going to be able to do anything about it.
posted by pipeski at 1:30 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

There is a person at my workplace who is an incredible ungraceful walker. I can tell when they're coming down my hallway because they vibrate the (concrete) floor and stomp in a way that no one else in the company does. If they were living above me I might lose my mind. All of which is to say: it's entirely possible that you have someone like them above and that's just naturally how they walk.
posted by komara at 1:39 PM on March 12, 2021 [5 favorites]

Another possibility is that the tenants are running it as a rooming house or AirBnB hostel, or some sort of business op, and has packed it with many more people than customary.
posted by dum spiro spero at 2:13 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

Ive spent 49 months hoping that the thundering herd above me would disappear. The previous family was blessedly quiet and we never heard a thing, even though their baby slept a few feet from our bedroom. Fast forward to the new owners and I waited two months before approaching them, thinking they might have overextended themselves or were waiting on proper floor coverings to arrive. The man was thunderous that they had (what must be invisible) carpet and all was fine. I haven’t slept past their wake up time since they’ve lived there and for the last few years the sound of one of their toddlers rounding the bend from their living room sleeping space into the only bedroom wakes me up daily, although it’s better than the thirty minutes of scream crying at wake up that preceded it without response from the parents. It’s only one kid running but I swear he has croquet balls for feet.

Sadly, if they haven’t changed their behavior after your numerous complaints it’s unlikely that they will change because you’ve approached them directly.

As for listing it for sale, it seems like you need to be honest about the experience, lest the next person be equally trapped. I’m sorry.
posted by icaicaer at 2:19 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

You should state your jurisdiction (state, country) as what your rights are would depend on that. I feel bad about your situation and have always lived in top floor units because I can't stand loud neighbors.
posted by thesockpuppet at 2:37 PM on March 12, 2021

Look up the name and address of the landlords in county tax records and contact them directly. There's a good chance they would appreciate knowing.

Seconding this, if I was the owner I would be mortified. Doubly so if they are doing any actual modifications to the property.
posted by photo guy at 2:42 PM on March 12, 2021

Best answer: You may live beneath this couple.

Seriously, though: I'm sorry. I've been in this situation before and it's really hard.
posted by Text TK at 2:46 PM on March 12, 2021 [11 favorites]

To echo a few other answers, some people lack fine motor control. I used to live with a guy who sounded like a cannonball coming down the hall. He slammed doors, not because he was particularly inconsiderate, but because unless he was fully concentrating on not slamming the door he just ended up slamming it shut. That being said, he recognized his effect and tried to mitigate his noise, but even then I'd occasionally get woken up by him slamming the bathroom door and stomping down the hall in the middle of the night.

It sucks but they are likely either oblivious to their effect (and/or think you're just a nag), or just don't give a shit about their effect on others and the world at large.
posted by dudemanlives at 2:49 PM on March 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: I'm in BC, Canada if that helps at all.

Text TK that is EXACTLY the hell I am living in. I laughed and then legit cried a little while watching that video. Part of me wants to know what they're doing up there, but mostly I just need it to stop. It's starting to ruin my sanity.
posted by keep it under cover at 3:48 PM on March 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

IANYL.

You should check the nuisance bylaws for your strata and see how noise-friendly your local tribunal is. This is a case where the neighbor above was ordered to put in carpeting on their hardwood floor due to excessive noise: Link.

Also, does your building/HOA have any rules about the level of noise permitted or amount of carpeting required?
posted by thesockpuppet at 4:46 PM on March 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

You might be under estimating how much noise a kid makes.
posted by PinkMoose at 7:47 PM on March 12, 2021

Best answer: My condo HOA has rules about sound insulation between floors. A previous owner of the unit above me removed carpets, causing a big increase in noise. There are a number of ongoing issues for me, that might at some point involve legal action. I would suggest that you should research what your HOA CC&Rs say and potentially get some legal advice. There are often stated rules about noise transmission as well and standardized testing approaches to determine how much noise is being transmitted (machines that tap and then decibel levels are recorded in your unit). A lot depends though on what is listed in the HOA rules, how those rules are enforced, what the local standards are for sound isolation in apartment buildings, who's responsibility it is/was to enforce HOA rules, whether your neighbor will agree to mitigation before proceeding to legal action, etc. Best of luck to you. I feel your pain.
posted by kms at 11:42 PM on March 12, 2021

As to what they are doing, my four year old likes to make blanket forts by moving all the furniture around and draping blankets between them. He jumps off of the dresser into the floor repeatedly, or he jumps onto the crib (of his younger sibling) where he then jumps up and down. Luckily we live in a detached place, but kids' energy can be ridiculous.

Tactically, you might find a way to pass a note to them requesting that they keep it down during showings. They could go out to a park or something. If you're moving solely because of them, it's quite possible that the kid will outgrow it.
posted by slidell at 1:36 AM on March 13, 2021

If I had a neighbor that was making noises that bothered me, I would tell myself they were the people in that video. I would reassure myself that they were exercising performative creativity. It would make me feel better to imagine that they were having such fun.
posted by aniola at 10:27 AM on March 13, 2021

Eh, I wouldn't try to confront them directly. I'd talk to a lawyer. Perhaps you have a friend who can help you for free, or maybe you can afford to pay someone. Either way, a letter from a lawyer to your building will get far more attention than your own voice ever will.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 7:39 PM on March 15, 2021