Heirloom Conundrum
February 26, 2021 9:56 AM Subscribe
I have various heirlooms that have been passed down to me that I am not very interested in keeping (unless you convince me otherwise!) and I need help on figuring out how to best be rid of them (or repurpose them should I keep them). Please help, I'm drowning in stuff I don't want.
The items in question are:
1. 115 piece Haviland Limoge china set that has been dated at 1887. It currently is taking residence in a big behemoth of a china cabinet (the cabinet I hate as well). The dishes are in wonderful condition.
2. A baby cradle - unfit for current day use for a baby. This cradle has been in the family for eons; My great great grandfather slept in it. As it is unfit and unsafe for usage today, I am wondering what else could it be used for and what ideas there are for repurposing it for my own home (I do not have small children so using it for a toy box or a doll baby cradle isn't ideal)
3. Quilts that some great great ancestor quilted. They are lovely, but currently sit rolled up in my closet doing nothing. They are too delicate to be used and displaying them whilst preserving them would be an expensive venture not to mention not really having the room/wall space (or desire) for a big old quilt or quilts displayed in my home. I have probably three of these quilts.
I have some issues about getting rid of these things. The china has been passed down through the generations and while it was lovely back in the day, I'm sure, they are never used, take up space, and no one has interest in them except to keep them in the family for tradition's sake. My own children have no desire for them and I don't blame them. They are not useful and take up a ton of space - space which is at a minimum where we live. However, I see the sentimentality of it all and I'm honestly a little hesitant to get rid of stuff for fear of relatives asking about them in the future and being hurt/offended that they passed it down to me and then I just got rid of it. I feel the same about the cradle and quilts- they are useless and takes up space.
On the other hand, I don't want to disrespect my ancestors and just drop the stuff off at a Goodwill. There is no one else to pass these things off to - due to lack of interest or space on their parts. I am overwhelmed with these items honestly.
Do you have any ideas on how to unburden myself of this stuff or should I keep these things and find a way to incorporate them into daily use and purpose?
The items in question are:
1. 115 piece Haviland Limoge china set that has been dated at 1887. It currently is taking residence in a big behemoth of a china cabinet (the cabinet I hate as well). The dishes are in wonderful condition.
2. A baby cradle - unfit for current day use for a baby. This cradle has been in the family for eons; My great great grandfather slept in it. As it is unfit and unsafe for usage today, I am wondering what else could it be used for and what ideas there are for repurposing it for my own home (I do not have small children so using it for a toy box or a doll baby cradle isn't ideal)
3. Quilts that some great great ancestor quilted. They are lovely, but currently sit rolled up in my closet doing nothing. They are too delicate to be used and displaying them whilst preserving them would be an expensive venture not to mention not really having the room/wall space (or desire) for a big old quilt or quilts displayed in my home. I have probably three of these quilts.
I have some issues about getting rid of these things. The china has been passed down through the generations and while it was lovely back in the day, I'm sure, they are never used, take up space, and no one has interest in them except to keep them in the family for tradition's sake. My own children have no desire for them and I don't blame them. They are not useful and take up a ton of space - space which is at a minimum where we live. However, I see the sentimentality of it all and I'm honestly a little hesitant to get rid of stuff for fear of relatives asking about them in the future and being hurt/offended that they passed it down to me and then I just got rid of it. I feel the same about the cradle and quilts- they are useless and takes up space.
On the other hand, I don't want to disrespect my ancestors and just drop the stuff off at a Goodwill. There is no one else to pass these things off to - due to lack of interest or space on their parts. I am overwhelmed with these items honestly.
Do you have any ideas on how to unburden myself of this stuff or should I keep these things and find a way to incorporate them into daily use and purpose?
Before you do anything, I recommend contacting your family members and telling them in no uncertain terms what you intend to do. Make sure they understand this is their last chance to take possession if they want and if they complain later, it will be on them for not speaking up now. Once people have a final deadline, they may be motivated to lay claim to something.
posted by Fukiyama at 10:16 AM on February 26, 2021 [75 favorites]
posted by Fukiyama at 10:16 AM on February 26, 2021 [75 favorites]
I too am the recipient of several generations of stuff. Aside from giving it away for free to someone on social media, here is what I've done with the stuff I couldn't part with.
1. Fancy china. My grandmother's wedding china has become our "special night china" and my mother's wedding china (midcentury modern japanese something or other) has become our daily china. I'm sure my mom wouldn't be pleased about it, because of course daily use gets things chipped up on occasion, but hey, what's the point of having dishes if they never get used? I also have a set of ancient silverware, but I still have to clean it up. Not sure about those.
2. I too have an ancient handmade cradle from some great great grandfather--couldn't bear to give it away. It's plain but lovely. I use it to store afghans blankets and extra pillows in my studio. I'll probably not ever give that away. I still haven't figured out what to do with my grandmother's kitchen table, but I'm probably going to give it away.
3. Old quilts made by ancient relatives. I haven't done anything particular to display them, but rather just hang them over one of those wooden quilt racks. Shrug. I really just try to keep it out of the sun, and that's it.
posted by RedEmma at 10:16 AM on February 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
1. Fancy china. My grandmother's wedding china has become our "special night china" and my mother's wedding china (midcentury modern japanese something or other) has become our daily china. I'm sure my mom wouldn't be pleased about it, because of course daily use gets things chipped up on occasion, but hey, what's the point of having dishes if they never get used? I also have a set of ancient silverware, but I still have to clean it up. Not sure about those.
2. I too have an ancient handmade cradle from some great great grandfather--couldn't bear to give it away. It's plain but lovely. I use it to store afghans blankets and extra pillows in my studio. I'll probably not ever give that away. I still haven't figured out what to do with my grandmother's kitchen table, but I'm probably going to give it away.
3. Old quilts made by ancient relatives. I haven't done anything particular to display them, but rather just hang them over one of those wooden quilt racks. Shrug. I really just try to keep it out of the sun, and that's it.
posted by RedEmma at 10:16 AM on February 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
Is there a local history museum in your area or state? Or the area your family comes from. They might be interested in taking items, especially if you could also give them information and/or photos of the relatives who made them, slept in them, used them etc.
posted by EllaEm at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by EllaEm at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
Weirdly enough, Facebook Marketplace has been super-easy for my brother, who has tons of things that are only of interest to certain collectors (mostly 1970s car parts and very old carpentry tools, lately) to get rid of and make fairly decent money off of. And the things that don't sell are often easily given to someone who would love/could use them through various "Buy Nothing" town groups.
One of the only decent Facebook uses these days, in my opinion.
posted by xingcat at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
One of the only decent Facebook uses these days, in my opinion.
posted by xingcat at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Possibly sell your items through Everything But The House?
(As a side note, I have two antique quilts that some great-great aunt or other quilted; I took them from the house when my great aunt died at 102 and they sat around for a while until my husband and I decided to start using them. I worried about them getting damaged (and then he ran them through the washing machine with some bath mats, and the edges of one got all torn up) but it's nice to actually get use out of them. And if they get damaged, they get damaged. I assume they were made to be used.)
posted by jabes at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
(As a side note, I have two antique quilts that some great-great aunt or other quilted; I took them from the house when my great aunt died at 102 and they sat around for a while until my husband and I decided to start using them. I worried about them getting damaged (and then he ran them through the washing machine with some bath mats, and the edges of one got all torn up) but it's nice to actually get use out of them. And if they get damaged, they get damaged. I assume they were made to be used.)
posted by jabes at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
Who are these relatives who would ask about things, and do they want any of them back? For instance, the quilts sound fairly compact and a relative who has moved into much smaller accommodations could theoretically keep them just fine, occasionally taking them out to admire. Then when they have passed and you once again have the quilts you could divest yourself of them guilt-free.
For the china, in my family things like this represent stored wealth in physical form, a safety net kind of thing. I’ve inherited some ridiculous sets of silver and absolutely nobody expects me to host eighteen dinner party guests and have them use prawn forks and mustard knives; what it is instead is a way the family’s history has trickled prosperity down to me. I know I can, if I need to, sell the ridiculous silver and use the money, much like my ancestors sold their stuff and sailed away from Poland being invaded for the billionth time. I definitely think of it this way in part because only the granddaughters and other female relatives have inherited home goods like this, as an obvious holdover from dark times past when women sewed jewels into their petticoats. Can you contextualize the china like that for you? Putting the proceeds of its sale into a savings account or other form of financial cushion, perhaps for your kids, might feel right.
As for the cradle, I think that one might be a keeper, if you like it enough to want to repurpose it somehow. It’s okay to make room for purposeless objects in your home, though. Maybe you could keep photo albums in it? But if you have kids and they plan to have kids it might be nice to continue passing the cradle down, purely for symbolic reasons. If it’s really kind of hideous though, then let it go. Either you want to look at it and be reminded of your family legacy on a regular basis, or you don’t. Either is entirely fine, but what isn’t is having mixed feelings turn to resentment because of an object that takes up space physically and mentally.
I think because you do seem to have a lot of emotions tied up in these objects that you should work with another party to list, package and sell them if you go that route. There is a commitment that way so you’re less likely to just keep things in the end, and commissions mean they’re motivated to find a good buyer.
posted by Mizu at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
For the china, in my family things like this represent stored wealth in physical form, a safety net kind of thing. I’ve inherited some ridiculous sets of silver and absolutely nobody expects me to host eighteen dinner party guests and have them use prawn forks and mustard knives; what it is instead is a way the family’s history has trickled prosperity down to me. I know I can, if I need to, sell the ridiculous silver and use the money, much like my ancestors sold their stuff and sailed away from Poland being invaded for the billionth time. I definitely think of it this way in part because only the granddaughters and other female relatives have inherited home goods like this, as an obvious holdover from dark times past when women sewed jewels into their petticoats. Can you contextualize the china like that for you? Putting the proceeds of its sale into a savings account or other form of financial cushion, perhaps for your kids, might feel right.
As for the cradle, I think that one might be a keeper, if you like it enough to want to repurpose it somehow. It’s okay to make room for purposeless objects in your home, though. Maybe you could keep photo albums in it? But if you have kids and they plan to have kids it might be nice to continue passing the cradle down, purely for symbolic reasons. If it’s really kind of hideous though, then let it go. Either you want to look at it and be reminded of your family legacy on a regular basis, or you don’t. Either is entirely fine, but what isn’t is having mixed feelings turn to resentment because of an object that takes up space physically and mentally.
I think because you do seem to have a lot of emotions tied up in these objects that you should work with another party to list, package and sell them if you go that route. There is a commitment that way so you’re less likely to just keep things in the end, and commissions mean they’re motivated to find a good buyer.
posted by Mizu at 10:18 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
The quilts. Are they too delicate like if you draped one it would disintegrate on contact? Or are they too delicate like if you used it and washed it the quality would decrease significantly but it would still be functional, at least for a while?
If it's the latter, I would just use the quilts! Let your ancestor keep you warm and give you something pretty to look at while it does, even if its lifespan is fleeting. If they fall apart faster with regular use, or the colors fade, or or or--who cares? Currently they are providing you no value? Why not get the enjoyment you can out of them, even if only for a short time?
posted by phunniemee at 10:19 AM on February 26, 2021 [16 favorites]
If it's the latter, I would just use the quilts! Let your ancestor keep you warm and give you something pretty to look at while it does, even if its lifespan is fleeting. If they fall apart faster with regular use, or the colors fade, or or or--who cares? Currently they are providing you no value? Why not get the enjoyment you can out of them, even if only for a short time?
posted by phunniemee at 10:19 AM on February 26, 2021 [16 favorites]
For the china, do you have any interest in using it yourself - not saving for a 'fancy' dinner, but just start using it?
There are a few "replacements" sites where people can buy a piece of china that matches a pattern they already have. You might be able to sell your china to them. Here's one, but there are others.
For the baby cradle, if it's interesting to look at, could you maybe you could repurpose it into a plant stand? Placing a few pots inside it? (really depends on how much it swings/rocks)
But really, don't feel guilty about getting rid of these items. Get on your local Buy Nothing group, and see if someone locally might want them (no shipping!). If relatives ask, you can say you just had no room to hold onto the items.
posted by hydra77 at 10:21 AM on February 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
There are a few "replacements" sites where people can buy a piece of china that matches a pattern they already have. You might be able to sell your china to them. Here's one, but there are others.
For the baby cradle, if it's interesting to look at, could you maybe you could repurpose it into a plant stand? Placing a few pots inside it? (really depends on how much it swings/rocks)
But really, don't feel guilty about getting rid of these items. Get on your local Buy Nothing group, and see if someone locally might want them (no shipping!). If relatives ask, you can say you just had no room to hold onto the items.
posted by hydra77 at 10:21 AM on February 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
How old are your kids? Family heirlooms became more important to me as I got older but were of little interest when I was, eg, 20.
If this were my dilemma, I would first ask all my friends if they or any of their family would like this stuff - I'd rather my family heirlooms went to people in my extended circle. Failing that, I'd sell most of it, because all that stuff will bring decent money.
But I'd keep a few of the serving pieces of the limoge - it will decrease the value of the set a little, but having a few ancestral bits and bobs is nice. Keep a platter or a vegetable bowl or the tea cups, whatever is easiest to pull out of the set. A platter or a bowl can be displayed on one of those little wood stands on a shelf, doesn't take up much room and provides, really, the same memento value as the whole set. Then you can sell the china cabinet too.
For the quilts, if one of them is truly messed up, get some advice about keeping and framing a good-sized piece. Otherwise, sell to a collector - they'll care for the quilts. You can provide a letter giving some details about your family, who made the quilt and where they lived. Ditto the cradle.
I do think it's worth keeping a few things for your children - it will be nice for them to have great-great grandmother's serving dish or tea cups, and those are things that you really can haul out once a year for a holiday dinner and then hand wash without it being a big chore.
(ETA, I have a lot of family heirlooms of varying degrees of value, no children and no real faith in the future owing to climate change so I have thought about this.)
posted by Frowner at 10:21 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
If this were my dilemma, I would first ask all my friends if they or any of their family would like this stuff - I'd rather my family heirlooms went to people in my extended circle. Failing that, I'd sell most of it, because all that stuff will bring decent money.
But I'd keep a few of the serving pieces of the limoge - it will decrease the value of the set a little, but having a few ancestral bits and bobs is nice. Keep a platter or a vegetable bowl or the tea cups, whatever is easiest to pull out of the set. A platter or a bowl can be displayed on one of those little wood stands on a shelf, doesn't take up much room and provides, really, the same memento value as the whole set. Then you can sell the china cabinet too.
For the quilts, if one of them is truly messed up, get some advice about keeping and framing a good-sized piece. Otherwise, sell to a collector - they'll care for the quilts. You can provide a letter giving some details about your family, who made the quilt and where they lived. Ditto the cradle.
I do think it's worth keeping a few things for your children - it will be nice for them to have great-great grandmother's serving dish or tea cups, and those are things that you really can haul out once a year for a holiday dinner and then hand wash without it being a big chore.
(ETA, I have a lot of family heirlooms of varying degrees of value, no children and no real faith in the future owing to climate change so I have thought about this.)
posted by Frowner at 10:21 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
I am not sure about the china, but I would store the quilts in the cradle and put them in a corner of my living room as a decor item. Chances of anyone pulling them out and using them is relatively slim and if anyone shows an interest you could take them out and show them off without using them as a wall-hanging or other huge display.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:22 AM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 10:22 AM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
Do you have relatives who have either space or interest? That would be my first thought. Send an email to your extended family explaining your dilemma - you like the idea of keeping them for tradition, but your current living situation doesn't really allow it. Maybe one of them has more storage space (or more sentimentality) and could take the things so that they stay in the family?
From a personal sour point, include younger relatives as well. When I was in my 20s, not long after my grandparents died or downsized, I was really into refinishing furniture. My grandparents' stuff generally went to my parents' generation, and they did whatever with it. Some care for that stuff, some don't, but like, I would have, you know? It would have been incredible for me to refinish some of their furniture, you know? But since I was a grandchild, I only got basically what my parents got and didn't want. Likewise, if you have a teenage niece or nephew who's getting into quilting or furniture or whatever, or is just sentimental, they might like some of these things. Include them on the email.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:27 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
From a personal sour point, include younger relatives as well. When I was in my 20s, not long after my grandparents died or downsized, I was really into refinishing furniture. My grandparents' stuff generally went to my parents' generation, and they did whatever with it. Some care for that stuff, some don't, but like, I would have, you know? It would have been incredible for me to refinish some of their furniture, you know? But since I was a grandchild, I only got basically what my parents got and didn't want. Likewise, if you have a teenage niece or nephew who's getting into quilting or furniture or whatever, or is just sentimental, they might like some of these things. Include them on the email.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:27 AM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
If you do give them away to another family member, consider them gone and don't let yourself be invested in what they do with it. If Cousin George takes the Limoges and then you find out two years later he sold it for $$$, it was his decision to do what he wanted with his china. Brace yourself for that.
posted by kate4914 at 10:50 AM on February 26, 2021 [19 favorites]
posted by kate4914 at 10:50 AM on February 26, 2021 [19 favorites]
There are several quilt museums. It might be worth taking pictures and making an inquiry at the one closest to you.
posted by praemunire at 10:52 AM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 10:52 AM on February 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
I have heirlooms as well, and no close family, so I can relate. My approach to heirlooms, FWIW, is to try and use them. What's the point of the stuff sitting around in a drawer? I have a beautiful leather purse, inherited from my mother. She took pristine care of her things and would have raised her eyebrow way high as I go my way through the world with it banging into things and getting scuffed. But it reminds me of her, it's in use, and when it is no longer usable, I won't be sad that it didn't quietly rot away in a closet.
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 10:59 AM on February 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 10:59 AM on February 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
I think there’s great advice above, especially about asking other family members if anyone else wants these items before you give them away.
Re: the quilts, I have two thoughts. One, I’m sure, is influenced by having just re-read Alice Walker’s short story “Everyday Use”: the quilts were intended to be used, and it’s honouring that intention if you use them, even if they don’t end up in pristine condition.
The other is that if you do want to give them away to someone who will appreciate them, see if there is a Fibre Artists’ Guild in your area. They will be in touch with textile artists and quilters, and will be able to connect you with someone who will appreciate the quilts and know how to care for them.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:01 AM on February 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
Re: the quilts, I have two thoughts. One, I’m sure, is influenced by having just re-read Alice Walker’s short story “Everyday Use”: the quilts were intended to be used, and it’s honouring that intention if you use them, even if they don’t end up in pristine condition.
The other is that if you do want to give them away to someone who will appreciate them, see if there is a Fibre Artists’ Guild in your area. They will be in touch with textile artists and quilters, and will be able to connect you with someone who will appreciate the quilts and know how to care for them.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:01 AM on February 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
I am in a similar situation and also feel overwhelmed, almost suffocated. Last spring, I talked with some relatives about it, and they agreed it was OK that I sold a substantial amount off, including some ugly jewelry. It doesn't bring in a ton of money, but it goes to people who appreciate it. Anyone who disagreed had to take over the "stewardship". That said, I also agree that young people may change their minds over time. So don't get rid of everything, keep some memories. My kids have suddenly embraced some old Persian carpets that I had luckily stored. Also, don't be afraid of using your stuff. Some years ago, my favorite china that I had inherited fell off a shelf because of construction work next door shaking our whole building. I was really sad, but mostly I was sad because we had almost never used it before it all broke. It might even have been safe if I had stored it with our everyday stuff. If you don't want to use your china, sell it. I have enough to serve over 100 guests, which is absurd. And I only use stuff that can go in the dishwasher. But I do like to have plenty of nice dishes and bowls for salads and stuff, so when barn sales become a thing again, all the individual plates will go there, but I will keep the larger serving stuff.
Take your time, though. I was planning to sell off a samovar I never use, but after reading about my heritage recently, I think I might clean it up and begin using it. (Still undecided).
I like the idea of storing the quilts in the cradle as a decorative item, but only if you like that style.
Also n'thing the museum suggestion. My great-grandfather donated his huge collection of local crafts to a museum, and it is a treat and adventure to take the kids there and tell them how our family protected these heirlooms when no-one wanted them. We all still feel a bit of "ownership", and don't have to deal with the management and care.
posted by mumimor at 11:03 AM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Take your time, though. I was planning to sell off a samovar I never use, but after reading about my heritage recently, I think I might clean it up and begin using it. (Still undecided).
I like the idea of storing the quilts in the cradle as a decorative item, but only if you like that style.
Also n'thing the museum suggestion. My great-grandfather donated his huge collection of local crafts to a museum, and it is a treat and adventure to take the kids there and tell them how our family protected these heirlooms when no-one wanted them. We all still feel a bit of "ownership", and don't have to deal with the management and care.
posted by mumimor at 11:03 AM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Reluctant Keeper of the Family Limoges fistbump!
First of all, based on my research, it was probably bought through Sears, don't let the family get too misty about it, especially if they refuse to take care of any of it themselves. If they love it but really don't have space, offer them any part of it they like before you get rid of it, if you do. Having a special single place setting, teacup, or turkey platter may make everyone feel better.
I staunchly refused the gigantic cabinet, though, partly because I didn't want to have to devote a whole quarter of my little house to that particular shade of pink and partly because as it is my mom saw a similar pattern at an antique shop and bought me MORE of it wtf mom. I don't want to give anyone else the mistaken impression that I collect the stuff. The china is in a big rubber tub in the basement, and we use it whenever we want to class up a meal, and for that purpose it does make me smile.
When I first got it, I looked into selling it to Replacements, but for me the entertainment of pulling it out of the basement once in a while was worth more than what they'd pay. Your math may be different. In any case, I find a tub full of dishes (well, three tubs) in the basement is much less of an emotional weight on me than a giant cabinet I have to look at every day.
posted by tchemgrrl at 11:10 AM on February 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
First of all, based on my research, it was probably bought through Sears, don't let the family get too misty about it, especially if they refuse to take care of any of it themselves. If they love it but really don't have space, offer them any part of it they like before you get rid of it, if you do. Having a special single place setting, teacup, or turkey platter may make everyone feel better.
I staunchly refused the gigantic cabinet, though, partly because I didn't want to have to devote a whole quarter of my little house to that particular shade of pink and partly because as it is my mom saw a similar pattern at an antique shop and bought me MORE of it wtf mom. I don't want to give anyone else the mistaken impression that I collect the stuff. The china is in a big rubber tub in the basement, and we use it whenever we want to class up a meal, and for that purpose it does make me smile.
When I first got it, I looked into selling it to Replacements, but for me the entertainment of pulling it out of the basement once in a while was worth more than what they'd pay. Your math may be different. In any case, I find a tub full of dishes (well, three tubs) in the basement is much less of an emotional weight on me than a giant cabinet I have to look at every day.
posted by tchemgrrl at 11:10 AM on February 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
If a quilt museum isn't interested in the quilts (send photos and known family history), they tend to be snapped up at auctions and other sales. If you can't value them yourself, you might try Ebay to see if you get a little more for them than a FB Marketplace flat sale price.
posted by PussKillian at 11:28 AM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by PussKillian at 11:28 AM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Do you find the china attractive enough to use? China is largely dishwasher safe, as long as it's not trimmed in metal or hand painted after it was enameled. Use it up. If it chips or breaks, well, you didn't have to pay for it. If it's impractical to use (because it's not dishwasher safe), or a fusty style that doesn't go with your lifestyle or decor, sell it for whatever value you can get. It is impractical to keep storing something you don't use, so either start using it or get rid of it. We have two sets of china in addition to our daily dishes, and we only use one. The only reason we still have the other set (older, fustier, and only "exclusive" in the sense the pattern was exclusive to Montgomery Ward) is that we still have room in the basement for the boxes my wife's aunt sent it to us in. If we needed to reclaim that space it would get donated or tossed.
posted by fedward at 11:32 AM on February 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by fedward at 11:32 AM on February 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
The baby cradle could be a lovely container for spare throw blankets, pillows, books, or other detritus in your living room.
As for the china and the quilts - agree to give your family first dibs, and also agree that they need a deadline ("You have until March 31st to come get the china if you want it, otherwise it is going on eBay" or whatever). Or if you have that much china, maybe offer to split it amongst the family so everyone has a six-place setting instead of you having 115 things.
As for the cabinet - I wonder if, once there's some room cleared out of it, whether the china cabinet could be repurposed as a "random display cabinet", and you keep some of the china and whatever folded-up quilts you still have in there, but along with the picture frame your kid made you in a third-grade art class, the tacky souvenir plastic cup from Pat O'Brien's you saved from a Mardi Gras vacation, the trophy someone in your family won as a joke for "World's Second-Loudest Belch", and other random crap like that. ....Or higher-class things, of course, if that's how you roll. That could clear up other storage space you've got throughout the house.
If you're balking at that idea because the cabinet is fugly, then maybe it could be refurbished in some way (paint, stripping off paint, etc.). I mean, make sure it's not a potentially valuable antique first, but if it's just a big ol' cabinet, go to town.
Of course, if it's just way too big and in the way, then make that part of the family "get this thing out of here before I put it on ebay" notice.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:34 AM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
As for the china and the quilts - agree to give your family first dibs, and also agree that they need a deadline ("You have until March 31st to come get the china if you want it, otherwise it is going on eBay" or whatever). Or if you have that much china, maybe offer to split it amongst the family so everyone has a six-place setting instead of you having 115 things.
As for the cabinet - I wonder if, once there's some room cleared out of it, whether the china cabinet could be repurposed as a "random display cabinet", and you keep some of the china and whatever folded-up quilts you still have in there, but along with the picture frame your kid made you in a third-grade art class, the tacky souvenir plastic cup from Pat O'Brien's you saved from a Mardi Gras vacation, the trophy someone in your family won as a joke for "World's Second-Loudest Belch", and other random crap like that. ....Or higher-class things, of course, if that's how you roll. That could clear up other storage space you've got throughout the house.
If you're balking at that idea because the cabinet is fugly, then maybe it could be refurbished in some way (paint, stripping off paint, etc.). I mean, make sure it's not a potentially valuable antique first, but if it's just a big ol' cabinet, go to town.
Of course, if it's just way too big and in the way, then make that part of the family "get this thing out of here before I put it on ebay" notice.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:34 AM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I had a similar issue but much less space consuming issue with my great great grandparents family bible from 1850. Very poor condition and zero monetary value, but had the family births recorded for 100+ years as was the tradition at the time. There are literally thousands of people that share DNA from these people. From my Dad’s family down there are over 250. The local museum said it was something they usually would accept, but literally had a room for family bibles that was full. I started contacting relatives and a cousin who is. Retired and bored restored it and it no lives in a small humidor at his place.
I would also say to check with relatives from closed radiating out until you get a taker. The china and quilts may have local groups who would know more about them if you wanted to sell. The crib and China cabinet could be updated or converted. One of our China cabinets is a bookcase. The crib might be able to be turned sideways to make a shelf for towels or blankets.
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 12:01 PM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
I would also say to check with relatives from closed radiating out until you get a taker. The china and quilts may have local groups who would know more about them if you wanted to sell. The crib and China cabinet could be updated or converted. One of our China cabinets is a bookcase. The crib might be able to be turned sideways to make a shelf for towels or blankets.
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 12:01 PM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Keep the cradle, pass it down to a relative with young children in the future with a nice baby doll. I have inherited two tiny children's chairs (one rocking, one normal) from relatives. One of the chairs was my time out chair as a kid and the place my daughter put on her shoes when she was first learning to do so. Some day, if she spawns, they'll go to her, or another relative her age who has had children. They were handmade by my great-grandfather and I like that they have played a brief, but significant role in our lives.
I would get rid of the China but try to find a local historical society for the quilts.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:47 PM on February 26, 2021
I would get rid of the China but try to find a local historical society for the quilts.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:47 PM on February 26, 2021
I also inherited a huge amount of mid-1800’s china. I don’t find it very beautiful, and I wasn’t into it at all until recently when I learned a bit more about the history of pottery/china and looked up the provenance of what I’d inherited. It turns out these pieces have been in my family since my Great-Great-Great-Grandmother , they were passed down matrilineally, and they stayed in my family through the Great Depression and all the turmoil since. I know that my Great-Great-Grandmother ate just peanut butter during the Depression so the kids could have food for longer, but she held on to these. My Great-Grandmother bought replacement pieces to keep the set intact when some broke. And I, what, want to get rid of them because reasons? That history is grounding for me, and I like to think I’m honoring their efforts at maintenance and what it meant to them to inherit these items — all I have to do is protect them. For me, caring for these items is a way to learn about my family , what they found important and beautiful.
I bought two sets of china storage boxes on Amazon. They stack and everything fits on one shelf in my basement. Ive hung the serving plate on a wall and I’ve sent a tea saucer to my mom for display as well, as a way to connect us to each other and my great-grandmother.
posted by shesdeadimalive at 12:52 PM on February 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
I bought two sets of china storage boxes on Amazon. They stack and everything fits on one shelf in my basement. Ive hung the serving plate on a wall and I’ve sent a tea saucer to my mom for display as well, as a way to connect us to each other and my great-grandmother.
posted by shesdeadimalive at 12:52 PM on February 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
Nthing reaching out to all branches of the family to see if anyone would like any of these things. If no one speaks up well, then they can hardly justify being upset if you decide to part with it -- especially if you're clear that certain items will either be transferred to other family members or sold.
1. The Haviland Limoge might be worth a fair bit, but this stuff is meant to be used. I agree with RedEmma that the best way to make having it not be a burden is to use it for special dinners, etc. Heck, make a practice of using it every Sunday. That sort of thing can be fun. Again, if you end up breaking some of it, that's what happens when you use things. I'm sure that whomever originally acquired it didn't mean for it to sit in a cabinet gathering dust. My mother had all kinds of amazing stuff that was literally never used. The pieces that have devolved to me, you better believe it use them. Maybe one or two pieces has sustained some damage, but on the other hand I've used these things at least 100 times more in three years than my mother did in fifty years. Unfortunately, I don't know that it's all that easy to get good value for them if you sell them on.
2. The cradle can probably be used to store any number of things.
3. The quilts strike me as the things worth finding out if a museum or society might want them, whereas I doubt that would be the case for the china or the cradle. The quilts wouldn't stay in the family, but I think you and the family could feel good knowing that they were being looked after and cared for as a piece of history.
posted by slkinsey at 12:56 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
1. The Haviland Limoge might be worth a fair bit, but this stuff is meant to be used. I agree with RedEmma that the best way to make having it not be a burden is to use it for special dinners, etc. Heck, make a practice of using it every Sunday. That sort of thing can be fun. Again, if you end up breaking some of it, that's what happens when you use things. I'm sure that whomever originally acquired it didn't mean for it to sit in a cabinet gathering dust. My mother had all kinds of amazing stuff that was literally never used. The pieces that have devolved to me, you better believe it use them. Maybe one or two pieces has sustained some damage, but on the other hand I've used these things at least 100 times more in three years than my mother did in fifty years. Unfortunately, I don't know that it's all that easy to get good value for them if you sell them on.
2. The cradle can probably be used to store any number of things.
3. The quilts strike me as the things worth finding out if a museum or society might want them, whereas I doubt that would be the case for the china or the cradle. The quilts wouldn't stay in the family, but I think you and the family could feel good knowing that they were being looked after and cared for as a piece of history.
posted by slkinsey at 12:56 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
We have a few things that have been inherited. A China set, being one of them. We make sure to use it for holidays, no matter what. It is a nice familial reminder.
We have also been very clear with parents: if you have something and a. don't use it/display it, b. don't want it...we probably don't want it either. So, irreplaceable items, like photos (that have an inscription of who the people are) are likely a yes. Likely a no: a stack of photos from the past 100 years received with a vow to discover who the people are, digitization of the photos and dissemination of the photos to everyone. This is a real example of what we have floating out there.
You own the stuff or the stuff owns you. It's as valuable as *you* feel it is.
posted by zerobyproxy at 1:42 PM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
We have also been very clear with parents: if you have something and a. don't use it/display it, b. don't want it...we probably don't want it either. So, irreplaceable items, like photos (that have an inscription of who the people are) are likely a yes. Likely a no: a stack of photos from the past 100 years received with a vow to discover who the people are, digitization of the photos and dissemination of the photos to everyone. This is a real example of what we have floating out there.
You own the stuff or the stuff owns you. It's as valuable as *you* feel it is.
posted by zerobyproxy at 1:42 PM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Some old cradles will work with a baby-safe insert of some sort; I used a Moses basket that had family significance, though I didn't actually love it; it would have fit in a cradle.
Quilts. You may find a buy who has an interest in preserving them.
There are companies that buy china. It's stuff. Once valued, now a burden. Ebay, Craigslist, Fb marketplace; find someone who will enjoy it.
posted by theora55 at 2:39 PM on February 26, 2021
Quilts. You may find a buy who has an interest in preserving them.
There are companies that buy china. It's stuff. Once valued, now a burden. Ebay, Craigslist, Fb marketplace; find someone who will enjoy it.
posted by theora55 at 2:39 PM on February 26, 2021
If you like the design of the china and want to keep it as a family heirloom but in a more utilitarian fashion, there are some crafty things you could do with it, or pay someone to do with it -- smash it and make it into a mosaic, drill holes in the bottom of teacups and use them for succulent planters, make garden stepping stones, etc. When the shelf holding my mom's fancy china slipped off of its holder and her china shattered, my brother and i bought some sort of clay picture frame kit and shellacked the fragments onto a frame.
I also see a seller on Etsy who takes china and turns it into jewelry -- spendy, but could be a special keepsake for various family members (I can't vouch for the quality, just turned it up with a quick Etsy search!): https://www.etsy.com/listing/859342841/custom-order-custom-broken-china-jewelry
And more project ideas: https://www.diyncrafts.com/25619/repurpose/20-brilliant-repurposing-ideas-projects-broken-china-glass
posted by rogerroger at 2:43 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I also see a seller on Etsy who takes china and turns it into jewelry -- spendy, but could be a special keepsake for various family members (I can't vouch for the quality, just turned it up with a quick Etsy search!): https://www.etsy.com/listing/859342841/custom-order-custom-broken-china-jewelry
And more project ideas: https://www.diyncrafts.com/25619/repurpose/20-brilliant-repurposing-ideas-projects-broken-china-glass
posted by rogerroger at 2:43 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I had a 1930s metal hospital bassinet that I wanted to find a good home for. I posted it on NextDoor and said I wanted to know what people thought they’d do with it, since I cared where it ended up. One young woman had done a thesis on the history of hospital care of infants, and she even sent me an old photo showing that kind of bassinet in use. I’ve never felt so happy about giving something away.
Granted, someone might spin a lovely tale, then turn around and sell the item on eBay, so you have to be prepared to really let go. But this helped me part with an item I loved, but didn’t have room for.
posted by FencingGal at 4:05 PM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
Granted, someone might spin a lovely tale, then turn around and sell the item on eBay, so you have to be prepared to really let go. But this helped me part with an item I loved, but didn’t have room for.
posted by FencingGal at 4:05 PM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
Can you take the rockers off the cradle and stand it on end? You could have someone slide in thin shelves and put picture frames or books in it! My dad made us a cradle and the kids used it for a few weeks each. It's hanging from the basement rafters now, and in ten years or twenty it will get used for the next generation. But if we were tight on space, I would want the thing to be justifying its existence. :7)
My mom ended up with literal trash bags of Irish lace & linen in her attic, and we're wary of it happening. So we use our wedding china several times a year in order for it to be a nice thing, and not a burden. And we wore out the quilt we received as a wedding gift, and we use my great-grandma's wooden chest as a coffee table so the kids can form a generational bond with the thing (to prevent it being, well...a beat-up wooden box).
posted by wenestvedt at 5:57 PM on February 26, 2021
My mom ended up with literal trash bags of Irish lace & linen in her attic, and we're wary of it happening. So we use our wedding china several times a year in order for it to be a nice thing, and not a burden. And we wore out the quilt we received as a wedding gift, and we use my great-grandma's wooden chest as a coffee table so the kids can form a generational bond with the thing (to prevent it being, well...a beat-up wooden box).
posted by wenestvedt at 5:57 PM on February 26, 2021
I disagree that you should use the quilts if they are fancy. Such quilts were likely never meant to be used for warmth. Most 19th century fancy quilts were meant to be decorations, like art. They are not durable and cannot be regularly washed. Even one washing can destroy them aesthetically due to color bleeding. They were often historically kept on an unused guestroom bed, but people did not let guests sleep under them. They were also draped on sofas and pianos. Usually today people hang them on walls as art after sewing a dowel to the back. Interior decorators love using quilts as art, as you get a lot more visual impact for your money compared to oil paintings.
posted by mortaddams at 6:47 PM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by mortaddams at 6:47 PM on February 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
If you decide to sell the items, I recommend selling locally. One option is working with a regional consignment auction company that lists their lots online and offers local pickup.
A large china set and a cradle may prove to be hard to sell on a national auction site like Ebay unless they are of the highest quality. That is because shipping costs are likely to exceed the items' fair market value, so you may struggle to find a buyer. Quilts can be sold on Ebay though, as they ship easily.
Regional consignment auctions often sell to regional antique dealers and interior decorators who like to pick items up from the auctioneer rather than paying for shipping. The high bid is likely to be less than 50% of the price you see for comparable items in antique stores in your area.
posted by mortaddams at 7:13 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
A large china set and a cradle may prove to be hard to sell on a national auction site like Ebay unless they are of the highest quality. That is because shipping costs are likely to exceed the items' fair market value, so you may struggle to find a buyer. Quilts can be sold on Ebay though, as they ship easily.
Regional consignment auctions often sell to regional antique dealers and interior decorators who like to pick items up from the auctioneer rather than paying for shipping. The high bid is likely to be less than 50% of the price you see for comparable items in antique stores in your area.
posted by mortaddams at 7:13 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
If you do decide to part with the items, and can afford to lose any money that could be gained, many refugee families start over with almost nothing needed to start a home and build a life. Local charities or national ones like Welcoming America can help connect your gifts to a family that needs and would cherish them- something I am sure any ancestor could appreciate.
posted by shesaysgo at 11:41 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by shesaysgo at 11:41 PM on February 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Personal experience. When we downsized about six years ago, we had four sets of china, nothing antique but some from expensive sources. Before the move, we used all of them--not at the same time--when we had folks to the house. Don't tease us, think, we had a hobby. But we had to get rid of at least two of them before moving. We also had some very expensive crystal that was too fragile for us to clean without breakage (That was an $125 dollar wine glass!) so the crystal had spent some years boxed in the basement. We used Replacements in North Carolina. Absolutely professional, easy to deal with, swift, clear in its communications. If you're in the eastern US, I'd recommend this company.
posted by tmdonahue at 5:48 AM on February 27, 2021
posted by tmdonahue at 5:48 AM on February 27, 2021
Thanks, tmdonahue, for the pointer to Replacements! We are down sizing and this might be a good way to go!
posted by kabong the wiser at 7:16 AM on February 27, 2021
posted by kabong the wiser at 7:16 AM on February 27, 2021
Seconding mortaddams - companies that do estate sales and "fine arts & antiques" auctions deal with stuff like this all the time, and collectors and designers definitely keep an eye on these auctions, or even buy directly from the company. And this way there's a good chance it's going to somebody who's willing and able to do the things needed to display and preserve the quilts & etc. I think at least some of them are willing to do free appraisals/valuations, so you can see if it's even worth considering selling them.
Or you might consider just seeing if there's a local interior designer/antique dealer who would be willing to outright buy them from you.
(Source: I used to know a guy who worked for some of the big fine arts auction houses in Cleveland and Chicago, and I've actually done some events in interior designer warehouses & talked to the owners, and that's what some of them do - buy various antiques and objects and decorations as they find them and then store them until they have the right client/job or another designer wants to buy it. Oh yeah, and my band practices in what used to be an elevator factory (HUGE, lots of rooms), and one of our neighbors does this, too, as a sort of middle man for designers & decorators. He watches estate sales and auctions and Craigslist postings all over the eastern half of the country, and then buys this stuff and hangs on to it and then has a client list of decorators and designers that he resells it to.)
So, yeah, there's an entire small industry of folks who deal professionally with stuff like what you have, and that might be a nice compromise of sorts; the stuff gets taken off your hands without a lot of effort on your part, and you know that it'll wind up in the hands of someone who will use it one way or the other.
posted by soundguy99 at 7:51 AM on February 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Or you might consider just seeing if there's a local interior designer/antique dealer who would be willing to outright buy them from you.
(Source: I used to know a guy who worked for some of the big fine arts auction houses in Cleveland and Chicago, and I've actually done some events in interior designer warehouses & talked to the owners, and that's what some of them do - buy various antiques and objects and decorations as they find them and then store them until they have the right client/job or another designer wants to buy it. Oh yeah, and my band practices in what used to be an elevator factory (HUGE, lots of rooms), and one of our neighbors does this, too, as a sort of middle man for designers & decorators. He watches estate sales and auctions and Craigslist postings all over the eastern half of the country, and then buys this stuff and hangs on to it and then has a client list of decorators and designers that he resells it to.)
So, yeah, there's an entire small industry of folks who deal professionally with stuff like what you have, and that might be a nice compromise of sorts; the stuff gets taken off your hands without a lot of effort on your part, and you know that it'll wind up in the hands of someone who will use it one way or the other.
posted by soundguy99 at 7:51 AM on February 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
I am 70. I recently had to clean out part of my house to do renovations. I am the last one of the family left on the east coast. I said to myself, "Self: if you drop dead what will the designated heir/HCP do with all this?" She will put it into an estate sale that's what. So I called an antique dealer and said do you want all this FOR FREE? I packed it up and he took it.
I did not have any dish sets but I had Roseville pottery and the like.
posted by andreap at 9:44 AM on February 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
I did not have any dish sets but I had Roseville pottery and the like.
posted by andreap at 9:44 AM on February 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
I use my family's antique cradle to store kindling for the woodstove.
posted by metasarah at 12:16 PM on February 27, 2021
posted by metasarah at 12:16 PM on February 27, 2021
I was in a shop once where the owner had a cradle with potted plants in it. It looked so charming, I wanted to buy it at once, but alas it was "not for sale".
Another idea: the cradle may not be safe for babies, but can it be made suitable as a pet bed?
Use the china as your everyday dishes.
Some ideas for hanging the quilts here.
posted by Avalow at 2:51 AM on March 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
Another idea: the cradle may not be safe for babies, but can it be made suitable as a pet bed?
Use the china as your everyday dishes.
Some ideas for hanging the quilts here.
posted by Avalow at 2:51 AM on March 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
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posted by beagle at 9:59 AM on February 26, 2021 [2 favorites]