How Do I Get This Tree Out of My Chicago Apartment?

December 29, 2020 4:21 PM

I am in Chicago. I want to get rid of my Christmas tree…very very soon, ideally. I do not have a car. What do I do?

So far everything I’ve googled has only turned up info about where to drop off your tree to recycle it in a park, starting January 9th. That’s not what I want. Not only do I not want to wait that long, but I also don’t know how I’d schlepp a tree to a park even if I wanted to. (I’m aware of asking a friend with a car to help, but it’s a pretty messy favor, and no, neither person would already be taking their own tree over, etc.)

Can I just leave it in the alley with the trash, or no? If not, what do people DO?

posted by Charity Garfein to Home & Garden (19 answers total)

People throw them in the alley all the time. On my block a Good Samaritan drives around in a pickup and takes some of them to the mulch pile. But, yeah, you can throw anything in the alley. That said - you somehow got the tree to your apartment, so maybe you could use the same process to get the tree out? Also, don’t worry about Jan 9, you can just throw the tree out at one of the mulching sites early - nobody is going to stop you.
posted by Mid at 4:27 PM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]

You can invest on some small hand pruners and fill bag or two with branches. Then you would have them around for other uses, like cutting the back out of a whole chicken to "spatchcock" it, or gather autumn branches, or trim flowers you buy.
posted by Oyéah at 4:38 PM on December 29, 2020 [2 favorites]

In Philly, the trash trucks will (perhaps grudgingly) pick them up and certainly it is very, very commonplace to see trees out on the sidewalk on trash night throughout late December and January (and February, no judgement.)
posted by desuetude at 4:52 PM on December 29, 2020

Response by poster: (not to threadsit, just: the place i bought the tree delivered it)
posted by Charity Garfein at 5:00 PM on December 29, 2020

I asked my (Chicago-native) daughter-in-law. She said they did the same thing we do. Take it out back, cut the branches off, cut the trunk, all into <4’ pieces, and bag it or put it in a trash can.

In the future, consider using a Christmas bush. This year we used a grumichama (Brazilian black cherry) in a pot and added lights and ornaments. It goes into the ground in the back yard in a week or so (but our climate is tropical). Any bush in a pot will do. We’ve used bay, curry tree, and others in the past. Nothing sacred about conifers.
posted by sudogeek at 5:18 PM on December 29, 2020 [1 favorite]

Around us the boy scouts or similar organizations will collect them. I don't think there is a fee, but they certainly will accept donations...
posted by NoDef at 5:34 PM on December 29, 2020

I went a little wild and got a pretty big live tree a few years ago and wound up actually sawing it up into chunks that would fit in a trash bag and putting it in the dumpster. (I live in an apartment building in a city with no car nor, at the time, access to a car.) I used a little handsaw I'd gotten for some DIY projects, it's about 8 inches long so it stores nicely. I won't say it's the easiest or most fun thing I've ever done, but it accomplished what I needed to do.

(Now I buy tabletop live trees that fit into big garbage bags without needing to be dismembered first.)
posted by kalimac at 5:51 PM on December 29, 2020

There are people with fireplaces. Please try to give it away on Craigslist! The thought of an alive thing being landfilled makes me kind of sad.
posted by amtho at 6:12 PM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]

If you bought it from City Trees (just bringing it up as you mentioned delivery and they're one of the more popular tree services...), they'll honestly probably pick it up and take it out for you. You'll have to pay but if you really don't want to finagle it down your back stairs or what have you it might be worth it.

Of course if you have a window onto the alley you can always toss that sucker out the window and then go downstairs to prop it up out of the way...not that I've...ever done that...
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:04 PM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]

1-800-Got-Junk is a commercial removal service for basically anything. Might not be very cost effective.
posted by msbutah at 7:19 PM on December 29, 2020

The people who delivered the tree can probably take it away just as easily.
posted by Umami Dearest at 8:13 PM on December 29, 2020

I strongly advise you not to wait until three in the morning, drag it into a pile the centre of a deserted intersection along with three or four other Christmas trees that people have abandoned, and then set fire to it.

The flames will be astonishing and it is an interesting educational experience for children who will thereafter understand how a Christmas tree igniting can cause a serious house fire in moments. But the cops won't like this and you'll alarm all the people who wake up from the flames outside their window, so you mustn't do this.

If you were eleven years old you probably would do this but you are not and you are an adult and would get charged for it, so you won't.
posted by Jane the Brown at 10:47 PM on December 29, 2020 [16 favorites]

FYI most pine and conifers are not suitable and can be very problematic for fireplaces/wood stoves. Most refuse companies, even those that are run by municipalities, have a plan for this time of year. Look yours up. It may be that Christmas trees and arboreal landscaping waste ultimately gets mulched or composted.

Just saw JtB’s comment and chuckled knowingly in agreement
posted by childofTethys at 4:51 AM on December 30, 2020 [4 favorites]

I know the green is not for jokes but just need to drop an current events how not to.
posted by sammyo at 5:29 AM on December 30, 2020

I’ve tried putting trash bags around it to get it outside without a mess but in my experience it’s just as not easy to drag it out your back porch outside then clean up the path the tree took through the house. It takes a while. If you own strong pruners you could try the cutting up method inside. In Chicago I’ve posted on my street’s Facebook group to ask if anyone with a car is going to the recycling and could take mine. Last year I dragged it there (about 1.25 miles) myself on the ground, but have also had luck tying it to the back of a bike and pushing the bike like a carrying device rather than riding.

If money is no object sure, there will be companies that will pick it up for you. I’d start with the place you got it delivered from.

If you just want it out and don’t care about recycling or doing “what’s right” you can use the time tested method of throwing it in the alley far away from your building — it’s shitty, but eventually some service will trash it.
posted by Bunglegirl at 9:13 AM on December 30, 2020

For God's sake, if you put the tree out a window, or drag it down the stairs, the thing goes bottom end first. The boughs will bend up nicely but trying to bend them down will expand the circumference of the tree amazingly and quite likely result in the blasted things not only getting stuck but losing more needles than it was mathematically possible for the thing to have.
posted by Jane the Brown at 10:45 AM on December 30, 2020 [3 favorites]

When transporting a retired evergreen tree to a nearby landscaping in a pickup truck, for the love of Pete, tie it in. The boughs can have a sail-like effect, even at 30 mph...I will not explain how I know this as I was not 11 at the time.
posted by childofTethys at 5:16 PM on December 30, 2020 [1 favorite]

Alley. It will be taken. Also: I had a van and took my tree as well as my parent's and friends' trees to the park district to recycle. Maybe someone you know is going to recycle theirs anyway and you can add-on?
posted by zerobyproxy at 9:40 AM on December 31, 2020

Just saw this today: A Pedicab Will Pick Up, Recycle Your Christmas Tree From WTTW here.

“If you want Farace to pick your tree up, emissions free, his radius is generally East Humboldt Park to Noble Square.
But he has another friend who’ll pick up trees in Albany and Irving Park.”
posted by Bunglegirl at 10:20 AM on December 31, 2020 [1 favorite]