Promotion before ready AKA How To Lose Your Mind in 10 Business Days
December 28, 2020 12:45 PM Subscribe
Can you really fake it til you make it when you’re already struggling faking and making it? My supervisor is leaving and is pretty adamant on me taking her job, but I don’t feel ready...and I also am not excited about taking her job. How do I know if this is just completely fear based or if I could do it? And if not, how can I say no without burning bridges?
A few months ago, I made a post about how I felt lost in my new job. I...still feel lost at times. At this point, I’ve been at my job for 8 months. The learning curve has been steep, but on top of that, we have been working with pandemic related programs and that essentially detailed me away from my main job that I had been learning. I already felt behind with learning the ins and outs of my job. I did eventually speak up to my boss about this, who was relatively understanding, and very encouraging that she thought I was still doing a great job. I don’t fully believe her, but I do know she can be a harsher person at times, and would tell me if I was not meeting her expectations.
I knew at some point my boss was going to leave her job, but not this soon. She invited me to apply for my position, specifically because she said she wanted to mentor me and help me gain more experience to eventually take her role, or something adjacent. I knew it would be a stepping stone job. AND YET! It was completely more hectic and confusing than I thought it would be. It has challenged me in many ways--mostly that I was completely new to this program (llama grooming we’ll say) but would be trained in it further. My supervisor said that she would likely be here for a few more years because she wanted to stay at the llama groomer to see some different changes enacted.
But it’s 8 months into my new role and she’s leaving. And while I’m very happy for her new role change and promotion to another agency, I am terrified. Beyond terrified. There are things in her role that I know absolutely nothing about (like, contracts, who to talk to about llama brushes, how to manage this million dollar budget, etc.) I wasn’t allowed to shadow her on those things (and there wasn’t time with pandemic activities), and she never discussed them with me (because they were part of her role.) There are also portions of my job that I still have questions about. I will have to become a supervisor and manage people, and I have never done that before.
What is terrifying even more, is that when my boss leaves, she will take all her knowledge with her. We are a team of two. My role was created because she needed support to run these llama grooming programs, but now it’s in the air if it will become two positions again. She said if I take the position, I will probably not have any support--and will have to be a strong advocate for that. (I joined this role because the support--which I didn’t have in my previous job--was so appealing. To provide support and also receive mentorship.) My boss’s supervisor does not know anything about llama grooming. If I have a question about how to run the program, literally no one will know.
Inevitably, even if I don’t take the position, I will have to man the ship on my own until someone is hired in my boss’s position. So I still have to do my best to answer questions and run the huge llama grooming program on my own.
My boss is gung ho about me taking her position. She believes I’m ready to take it, thinks I’m doing a great job, and simply says “just fake it until you make it. You’ll learn by making mistakes.” Even when I push back and say “I just don’t feel ready, but would if I had more time and guidance.” BUT WE ARE TALKIN ABOUT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. And a huge program. What if I crash and burn? I want to do an excellent job, but half of the time I’m struggling to figure it out. I don’t understand my boss’s belief in me. She has 10 years of experience on me. I have five years in total of work experience in our field since grad school, and none of it was on the level that she is at. There are moments where I think “Yeah, I can definitely try. I will probably make mistakes (which is terrifying too) but I can take this program and make improvements.” But those moments are fleeting when I realize that I still feel so new to everything. And that I have to make sure this all doesn’t crash and burn.
My questions are these:
- Is it an awful idea to accept a promotion if you aren't ready? When are you ready?? Maybe it’s imposter syndrome or maybe it’s me being extremely realistic, but starting before your ready seems to make sense on a smaller scale--not a huge llama grooming program where millions of llama dollars are on the line. How do you know if you can actually fake it until you make it? I've seen my classmates do it before, with the same amount of experience I have, but I think they're just overall more confident people. I keep telling myself, just give me two to five more years and I'll be there too. I hope.
- If I adamantly say no (and yet, will definitely have these job duties thrust on me anyways in the meantime), how do I say this to my boss and her boss without burning bridges? My family warns that this will look like I don’t have initiative, yet I’ve shown initiative in other aspects of my work--but this is setting off huge anxiety flags for me. I don’t think my boss’s job is even enjoyable, just stressful. I’m not sure it would be a huge pay increase either.
- If it were that I would take the position (and will have to take her job duties on in the meantime) how should I talk to her about help with this? I don’t want to bug her when she’s working her new job, but I feel like I need something… Like a list of priorities, or a crash course on contracting, allowance to re-delegate my work tasks, something for support before she leaves. Otherwise, I feel like I’m fumbling in the dark. What is reasonable to ask for in this transition?
I’m talking to my therapist about this later next week (I have been so anxious about it, I really thought that getting hit by a car would be better than this) but in the meantime, my boss is quickly working on her transition, so I wanted to ask for advice. Thanks in advance~
A few months ago, I made a post about how I felt lost in my new job. I...still feel lost at times. At this point, I’ve been at my job for 8 months. The learning curve has been steep, but on top of that, we have been working with pandemic related programs and that essentially detailed me away from my main job that I had been learning. I already felt behind with learning the ins and outs of my job. I did eventually speak up to my boss about this, who was relatively understanding, and very encouraging that she thought I was still doing a great job. I don’t fully believe her, but I do know she can be a harsher person at times, and would tell me if I was not meeting her expectations.
I knew at some point my boss was going to leave her job, but not this soon. She invited me to apply for my position, specifically because she said she wanted to mentor me and help me gain more experience to eventually take her role, or something adjacent. I knew it would be a stepping stone job. AND YET! It was completely more hectic and confusing than I thought it would be. It has challenged me in many ways--mostly that I was completely new to this program (llama grooming we’ll say) but would be trained in it further. My supervisor said that she would likely be here for a few more years because she wanted to stay at the llama groomer to see some different changes enacted.
But it’s 8 months into my new role and she’s leaving. And while I’m very happy for her new role change and promotion to another agency, I am terrified. Beyond terrified. There are things in her role that I know absolutely nothing about (like, contracts, who to talk to about llama brushes, how to manage this million dollar budget, etc.) I wasn’t allowed to shadow her on those things (and there wasn’t time with pandemic activities), and she never discussed them with me (because they were part of her role.) There are also portions of my job that I still have questions about. I will have to become a supervisor and manage people, and I have never done that before.
What is terrifying even more, is that when my boss leaves, she will take all her knowledge with her. We are a team of two. My role was created because she needed support to run these llama grooming programs, but now it’s in the air if it will become two positions again. She said if I take the position, I will probably not have any support--and will have to be a strong advocate for that. (I joined this role because the support--which I didn’t have in my previous job--was so appealing. To provide support and also receive mentorship.) My boss’s supervisor does not know anything about llama grooming. If I have a question about how to run the program, literally no one will know.
Inevitably, even if I don’t take the position, I will have to man the ship on my own until someone is hired in my boss’s position. So I still have to do my best to answer questions and run the huge llama grooming program on my own.
My boss is gung ho about me taking her position. She believes I’m ready to take it, thinks I’m doing a great job, and simply says “just fake it until you make it. You’ll learn by making mistakes.” Even when I push back and say “I just don’t feel ready, but would if I had more time and guidance.” BUT WE ARE TALKIN ABOUT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. And a huge program. What if I crash and burn? I want to do an excellent job, but half of the time I’m struggling to figure it out. I don’t understand my boss’s belief in me. She has 10 years of experience on me. I have five years in total of work experience in our field since grad school, and none of it was on the level that she is at. There are moments where I think “Yeah, I can definitely try. I will probably make mistakes (which is terrifying too) but I can take this program and make improvements.” But those moments are fleeting when I realize that I still feel so new to everything. And that I have to make sure this all doesn’t crash and burn.
My questions are these:
- Is it an awful idea to accept a promotion if you aren't ready? When are you ready?? Maybe it’s imposter syndrome or maybe it’s me being extremely realistic, but starting before your ready seems to make sense on a smaller scale--not a huge llama grooming program where millions of llama dollars are on the line. How do you know if you can actually fake it until you make it? I've seen my classmates do it before, with the same amount of experience I have, but I think they're just overall more confident people. I keep telling myself, just give me two to five more years and I'll be there too. I hope.
- If I adamantly say no (and yet, will definitely have these job duties thrust on me anyways in the meantime), how do I say this to my boss and her boss without burning bridges? My family warns that this will look like I don’t have initiative, yet I’ve shown initiative in other aspects of my work--but this is setting off huge anxiety flags for me. I don’t think my boss’s job is even enjoyable, just stressful. I’m not sure it would be a huge pay increase either.
- If it were that I would take the position (and will have to take her job duties on in the meantime) how should I talk to her about help with this? I don’t want to bug her when she’s working her new job, but I feel like I need something… Like a list of priorities, or a crash course on contracting, allowance to re-delegate my work tasks, something for support before she leaves. Otherwise, I feel like I’m fumbling in the dark. What is reasonable to ask for in this transition?
I’m talking to my therapist about this later next week (I have been so anxious about it, I really thought that getting hit by a car would be better than this) but in the meantime, my boss is quickly working on her transition, so I wanted to ask for advice. Thanks in advance~
I will say this: I have known people in your exact position who have been excited to take on the role and have done AMAZING things with it. I know several people who ended up running entire departments or agencies before the age of 30 because the opportunity arose and they figured that a smart, ambitious person would learn fast enough to pull it off, and they were right. Remember that the world is full of people running and managing things who are actually, actively really bad at it, not just learning quickly.
I will also say this: I wouldn't do it. I know myself well enough to know that I would not thrive under the pressure. That kind of learning curve and responsibility require enormous amounts of enthusiastic energy, and I am a fairly low energy person. Even 15 years ago, when I was young and didn't need as much sleep, I didn't have that energy, and at no point has my strength been looking at a complicated setup and systematizing it. I work great with systems that already exist.
So no, it's not crazy to think about doing it, but it's also ENTIRELY REASONABLE to say that you are not comfortable doing it. (I have done that, too, and my less senior coworker was promoted over me; she was a wonderful boss and we made an excellent team and I maintained my stress level where I was happy.)
"There's so much I still have to learn, and I was looking forward to training and mentorship at this stage in my career that I don't think I'd be able to get in X position." Talk more about what you want than what you don't want, and how you know that in a couple of years you'll be ready and excited for the position, but you would not feel comfortable doing it having had no experience [setting budgets, reviewing contracts, etc.]. You have a lot to learn before you're ready to (someday, eagerly) fill her shoes.
posted by gideonfrog at 1:30 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
I will also say this: I wouldn't do it. I know myself well enough to know that I would not thrive under the pressure. That kind of learning curve and responsibility require enormous amounts of enthusiastic energy, and I am a fairly low energy person. Even 15 years ago, when I was young and didn't need as much sleep, I didn't have that energy, and at no point has my strength been looking at a complicated setup and systematizing it. I work great with systems that already exist.
So no, it's not crazy to think about doing it, but it's also ENTIRELY REASONABLE to say that you are not comfortable doing it. (I have done that, too, and my less senior coworker was promoted over me; she was a wonderful boss and we made an excellent team and I maintained my stress level where I was happy.)
"There's so much I still have to learn, and I was looking forward to training and mentorship at this stage in my career that I don't think I'd be able to get in X position." Talk more about what you want than what you don't want, and how you know that in a couple of years you'll be ready and excited for the position, but you would not feel comfortable doing it having had no experience [setting budgets, reviewing contracts, etc.]. You have a lot to learn before you're ready to (someday, eagerly) fill her shoes.
posted by gideonfrog at 1:30 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
Can you talk to your boss's boss? Your boss leaving is really their problem to solve, not yours.
Ask them things like:
- do you plan to hire someone to replace your boss?
- how can we cover your boss's responsibilities until a replacement is in place?
- can I get help to handle the extra workload in the meantime?
- do you think I could or should be appointed to the vacancy? If so how can you help me learn the role?
posted by monotreme at 1:32 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
Ask them things like:
- do you plan to hire someone to replace your boss?
- how can we cover your boss's responsibilities until a replacement is in place?
- can I get help to handle the extra workload in the meantime?
- do you think I could or should be appointed to the vacancy? If so how can you help me learn the role?
posted by monotreme at 1:32 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
I was in a similar position earlier this year. I had more support than you and had been with that team for somewhat longer, but it was still a heavy lift. It's not super clear in your question how you feel about it, but in my case not only was I doing a bunch of stuff I had no practical experience with, I also knew very well that I wasn't interested in pursuing that path. I felt like I "owed" it to my team and that showing initiative and taking it on would be beneficial later, so I just ... gritted my teeth through it. I haven't yet decided whether I regret it now that I have moved on to something else but one thing that I wish I'd realized at that time is that I could actually say no. I felt like I had no options but in hindsight, I did. Instead, I was miserable on top of extremely stressed out and anxious over whether I was doing a good job - and I was still doing my previous job to boot.
How much time do you actually have with your current boss? Her transition plan should be transparent to and inclusive of you, and a lot of your questions about what you need should be informed by what she hasn't yet given you exposure to. You also need to know if (and how) you will be able to rely on her for support once she's moved on.
You didn't really talk about your boss's supervisor other than that they would likely not be a good resource for you (oh, how I can relate to that one). Does this person know that your boss wants you to step into her role and are they supportive of that? Whether this person can help you make decisions or not, they need to be part of the conversation about how this will move forward.
posted by sm1tten at 2:14 PM on December 28, 2020
How much time do you actually have with your current boss? Her transition plan should be transparent to and inclusive of you, and a lot of your questions about what you need should be informed by what she hasn't yet given you exposure to. You also need to know if (and how) you will be able to rely on her for support once she's moved on.
You didn't really talk about your boss's supervisor other than that they would likely not be a good resource for you (oh, how I can relate to that one). Does this person know that your boss wants you to step into her role and are they supportive of that? Whether this person can help you make decisions or not, they need to be part of the conversation about how this will move forward.
posted by sm1tten at 2:14 PM on December 28, 2020
Either your departing boss wants to set the business on fire and thinks you will be an absolute molotov cocktail of terribleness, or your boss thinks you're ready for the promotion and will do just fine.
Which of those scenarios is more likely? I suggest taking a coffee break with your boss, asking them why they feel you're a good fit, and inquiring if there's any shortfalls in your skills you should be working on in the meantime so you can hit the ground running.
Don't show any fear, just pick their brain. You'll learn a lot about how your boss sees your work performance. And you just might wind up feeling a lot better about your job.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:42 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
Which of those scenarios is more likely? I suggest taking a coffee break with your boss, asking them why they feel you're a good fit, and inquiring if there's any shortfalls in your skills you should be working on in the meantime so you can hit the ground running.
Don't show any fear, just pick their brain. You'll learn a lot about how your boss sees your work performance. And you just might wind up feeling a lot better about your job.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:42 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
My impression from this whole situation is that you can't actually refuse this. Even if you say no to the promotion, you're going to be in charge of everything all alone temporarily, right? And they will most likely not hire someone else these days, so you probably shouldn't count on ever getting any support.
Are you willing to quit your job over this? I wouldn't recommend that (especially NOW), but that sounds like your only way out of it. How much are you considering leaving specifically over this as a problem? Or are you committed to staying no matter what? If you're not going to leave, then you are going to have no choice but to suck it up and do the best you can, such as it is.
I have sympathy because I had a lot more work thrust upon me this year due to someone leaving, I did not get adequate training (to say the least, for pandemic reasons beyond the person's leaving's control), and I have been a damn trainwreck all year dealing with it until more help came through. And I'm not even supervising. I can also say that one section in my department literally had 100% turnover last year (to the point where the most "senior" person left was a student employee, and then he went abroad...leaving the next "senior" with only a few months experience) and they seem to have muddled through, somehow, but there were a fair chunk of trainwreck situations that ended up happening.
My best and only guess here is that you SOUND THE ALARM TO THE HEAVENS, to your boss, to your boss's boss, literally everybody in authority, that YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS alone, with no help, with the one person with knowledge leaving. Reiterate over and over and over and over again that this is going to be a million dollar trainwreck if you are left to your own devices with the minor amount of knowledge you do have, and they need to do whatever they can to make sure that you aren't 100% at sea.
Now, I highly doubt that sounding the alarm on this level is actually going to get you much or any help, but at the very least, you need to ask for it while you still can. I don't know how much your old boss is going to be willing to help you after she moves on, but find that out (and assume even if she says yes, she probably won't). That's the one big action you can take, even if it doesn't really work.
Other than that, I think you're just going to have to accept that you learn as you go and make mistakes and trainwrecks ARE going to happen. People leave, and bad situations like this happen at jobs, all the time. People are left holding a bag all the time. People who are woefully inadequate to taking over a job end up in a job because they're the only warm body left all the time. Hopefully your office will be understanding enough to not give you huge amounts of shit when millions of llamabucks are screwed with because nobody told you that you were supposed to do such-and-such first. At the very least, you can get it on the record that this is the situation you were thrown into with little preparation. Hopefully some folks will give you allowance for being clueless, and hopefully all or at least most of the inevitable trainwrecks will be resolved somehow and aren't 100% permanently damaging.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:54 PM on December 28, 2020 [5 favorites]
Are you willing to quit your job over this? I wouldn't recommend that (especially NOW), but that sounds like your only way out of it. How much are you considering leaving specifically over this as a problem? Or are you committed to staying no matter what? If you're not going to leave, then you are going to have no choice but to suck it up and do the best you can, such as it is.
I have sympathy because I had a lot more work thrust upon me this year due to someone leaving, I did not get adequate training (to say the least, for pandemic reasons beyond the person's leaving's control), and I have been a damn trainwreck all year dealing with it until more help came through. And I'm not even supervising. I can also say that one section in my department literally had 100% turnover last year (to the point where the most "senior" person left was a student employee, and then he went abroad...leaving the next "senior" with only a few months experience) and they seem to have muddled through, somehow, but there were a fair chunk of trainwreck situations that ended up happening.
My best and only guess here is that you SOUND THE ALARM TO THE HEAVENS, to your boss, to your boss's boss, literally everybody in authority, that YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS alone, with no help, with the one person with knowledge leaving. Reiterate over and over and over and over again that this is going to be a million dollar trainwreck if you are left to your own devices with the minor amount of knowledge you do have, and they need to do whatever they can to make sure that you aren't 100% at sea.
Now, I highly doubt that sounding the alarm on this level is actually going to get you much or any help, but at the very least, you need to ask for it while you still can. I don't know how much your old boss is going to be willing to help you after she moves on, but find that out (and assume even if she says yes, she probably won't). That's the one big action you can take, even if it doesn't really work.
Other than that, I think you're just going to have to accept that you learn as you go and make mistakes and trainwrecks ARE going to happen. People leave, and bad situations like this happen at jobs, all the time. People are left holding a bag all the time. People who are woefully inadequate to taking over a job end up in a job because they're the only warm body left all the time. Hopefully your office will be understanding enough to not give you huge amounts of shit when millions of llamabucks are screwed with because nobody told you that you were supposed to do such-and-such first. At the very least, you can get it on the record that this is the situation you were thrown into with little preparation. Hopefully some folks will give you allowance for being clueless, and hopefully all or at least most of the inevitable trainwrecks will be resolved somehow and aren't 100% permanently damaging.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:54 PM on December 28, 2020 [5 favorites]
Part of your stress comes from your not understanding what is happening.
You aren't being offered a promotion.
What is happening is that your current job is being eliminated and they are offering you an entirely new job that combines your and your boss's old responsibilities.
You have done the right thing by flagging all the reasons why that is probably not right for the organization, but, having done the right thing, you can accept the new position with a clean conscience.
There's decent odds this will end badly, so you'd probably want to be working on your resume, but this also might be a good chance to make more money - they are giving you more money, right? -- and test yourself.
posted by MattD at 3:57 PM on December 28, 2020 [3 favorites]
You aren't being offered a promotion.
What is happening is that your current job is being eliminated and they are offering you an entirely new job that combines your and your boss's old responsibilities.
You have done the right thing by flagging all the reasons why that is probably not right for the organization, but, having done the right thing, you can accept the new position with a clean conscience.
There's decent odds this will end badly, so you'd probably want to be working on your resume, but this also might be a good chance to make more money - they are giving you more money, right? -- and test yourself.
posted by MattD at 3:57 PM on December 28, 2020 [3 favorites]
It sounds like it might be helpful to clarify with your current boss's boss whether they will "backfill" your position if/when you become the boss. If they do intend to hire a replacement regardless, you could potentially become the boss and go find someone who complements your strengths and your growth areas.
I'll also say this - it has been my experience as a people manager that in a complex field like llama grooming, it takes 6-12 months for people to reach proficiency. It's not a pleasant process for the new person. Everything feels like it takes 4+ hours to do, because you lack enough contextual knowledge to tackle things without research and/or asking for help. Then you suddenly hit a point where the 4-hour tasks take 10 minutes to complete, and you are now qualified to play in your new position. It would be a shame to see you pass up this opportunity if you are close to that knowledge transition point... so I will second the suggestion to talk with your current boss before their departure for a little more of a detailed review of your readiness and your remaining gaps. A blithe "it's fine, you'll be great" is not enough!
posted by sockshaveholes at 4:06 PM on December 28, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'll also say this - it has been my experience as a people manager that in a complex field like llama grooming, it takes 6-12 months for people to reach proficiency. It's not a pleasant process for the new person. Everything feels like it takes 4+ hours to do, because you lack enough contextual knowledge to tackle things without research and/or asking for help. Then you suddenly hit a point where the 4-hour tasks take 10 minutes to complete, and you are now qualified to play in your new position. It would be a shame to see you pass up this opportunity if you are close to that knowledge transition point... so I will second the suggestion to talk with your current boss before their departure for a little more of a detailed review of your readiness and your remaining gaps. A blithe "it's fine, you'll be great" is not enough!
posted by sockshaveholes at 4:06 PM on December 28, 2020 [1 favorite]
It sounds like you might be in a significantly sized organization, in which your department is but a very small, unnoticed part of the business?
Obviously, my experience is not yours, but I feel like I've been in your position before, and things which really stood out to me:
a) Although this won't immediately sate your anxiety, their money is not your household budget, and for a lot of organizations in the greater scheme of things, "millions of dollars" is actually pocket change. Some of the organizations I've worked for write off millions in literal "we lost track of it" numbers. People at the coal face tend to be a lot more worried about these numbers because they seem big to us, compared with our meagre personal wealth, but for a company, millions of dollars is actually not a lot of dollars, and is just a few numbers in a computer. This is one of those "reframe your relationship with finance" situations.
b) There are probably significant guard rails that you don't obviously see - your soon-to-be-former manager seems to see these, hence the statement that you will learn from your mistakes - from the corporates I've been in, that rings very true.
c) People tend to be reasonably honest when questioned directly, and if your manager says you're doing a good job, you probably are! In particular, if you were doing a bad job and they were trying to be nice, they'd say things like "room for improvement" or some other bullshit platitudes rather than a direct "no, you're doing fine!"
d) If some things fall by the wayside, they'll either be noticed, at which point you can pick them up, or they won't be noticed, in which case they didn't matter. You do not have to do a perfect job. Your manager is almost certainly not doing a perfect job. No-one, except possibly for yourself, expects perfection. They just expect your best, and have shown you direct confidence that you are giving it. You should not assume they are lying because the voice in the back of your head says that you could meet some unrealistic higher standard.
e) If it's the sort of program I'm thinking of, it is almost impossible for your to make a mistake in such a program .
that can't be rectified. Sure, there might be some paperwork, but you'll quickly be told what paperwork there needs to be, and you'll do it - obviously you will, because you're already doing it!
So, yeah, in short, my reading is that your fear internal and not shared by your organization, and seems to be based on assuming that mistakes matter far more than they actually do. This isn't brain surgery, no-one is going to die on the table if you have to go back and correct an error. You should absolutely jump at this - the worst that can happen is it doesn't work out, and you go and get another job. Failing at a job is also not a career death sentence, you just reframe it as a learning experience.
posted by jaymzjulian at 4:13 PM on December 28, 2020 [3 favorites]
Obviously, my experience is not yours, but I feel like I've been in your position before, and things which really stood out to me:
a) Although this won't immediately sate your anxiety, their money is not your household budget, and for a lot of organizations in the greater scheme of things, "millions of dollars" is actually pocket change. Some of the organizations I've worked for write off millions in literal "we lost track of it" numbers. People at the coal face tend to be a lot more worried about these numbers because they seem big to us, compared with our meagre personal wealth, but for a company, millions of dollars is actually not a lot of dollars, and is just a few numbers in a computer. This is one of those "reframe your relationship with finance" situations.
b) There are probably significant guard rails that you don't obviously see - your soon-to-be-former manager seems to see these, hence the statement that you will learn from your mistakes - from the corporates I've been in, that rings very true.
c) People tend to be reasonably honest when questioned directly, and if your manager says you're doing a good job, you probably are! In particular, if you were doing a bad job and they were trying to be nice, they'd say things like "room for improvement" or some other bullshit platitudes rather than a direct "no, you're doing fine!"
d) If some things fall by the wayside, they'll either be noticed, at which point you can pick them up, or they won't be noticed, in which case they didn't matter. You do not have to do a perfect job. Your manager is almost certainly not doing a perfect job. No-one, except possibly for yourself, expects perfection. They just expect your best, and have shown you direct confidence that you are giving it. You should not assume they are lying because the voice in the back of your head says that you could meet some unrealistic higher standard.
e) If it's the sort of program I'm thinking of, it is almost impossible for your to make a mistake in such a program .
that can't be rectified. Sure, there might be some paperwork, but you'll quickly be told what paperwork there needs to be, and you'll do it - obviously you will, because you're already doing it!
So, yeah, in short, my reading is that your fear internal and not shared by your organization, and seems to be based on assuming that mistakes matter far more than they actually do. This isn't brain surgery, no-one is going to die on the table if you have to go back and correct an error. You should absolutely jump at this - the worst that can happen is it doesn't work out, and you go and get another job. Failing at a job is also not a career death sentence, you just reframe it as a learning experience.
posted by jaymzjulian at 4:13 PM on December 28, 2020 [3 favorites]
Also: please read the thing sockshaveholes said twice - " it takes 6-12 months for people to reach proficiency". This is true in almost every position in every non-entrylevel job that I have either hired for or worked in myself.
posted by jaymzjulian at 4:14 PM on December 28, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by jaymzjulian at 4:14 PM on December 28, 2020 [1 favorite]
I was in a similar situation last year, where a ton of extra responsibility was presented to me as a "development opportunity." I also got the sense that saying no wasn't an option, so I reluctantly accepted, on the condition that certain promises of support were kept. My boss and boss's boss were both very, "Oh of course, we won't leave you to drown."
Suffice to say, promises of support were not kept. Certain commitments were swapped out for inferior alternatives, too little too late, or never materialized at all. The volume of additional responsibility was also severely misrepresented. They left me to drown, and then threw me under the bus.
How much do you trust your leadership to do right by you? Also, never underestimate an organization's willingness to sabotage itself or shoot itself in the foot. Just because letting you drown would be a detriment to everyone doesn't mean they won't let it happen. If your workplace operates as a sick system, there is no scenario that is out of the realm of possibility.
This could be a great thing, but tread carefully and as jenfullmoon suggested, be vocal about everything you see. Document, document, document. Ask for help liberally, and put it in writing if that help is declined. You were never trained for this task, but were told to go ahead anyway? Communicate that in an email and make sure it's acknowledged before you proceed. I'm sorry to be so cynical, but I learned these lessons the hard way.
posted by keep it under cover at 6:50 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
Suffice to say, promises of support were not kept. Certain commitments were swapped out for inferior alternatives, too little too late, or never materialized at all. The volume of additional responsibility was also severely misrepresented. They left me to drown, and then threw me under the bus.
How much do you trust your leadership to do right by you? Also, never underestimate an organization's willingness to sabotage itself or shoot itself in the foot. Just because letting you drown would be a detriment to everyone doesn't mean they won't let it happen. If your workplace operates as a sick system, there is no scenario that is out of the realm of possibility.
This could be a great thing, but tread carefully and as jenfullmoon suggested, be vocal about everything you see. Document, document, document. Ask for help liberally, and put it in writing if that help is declined. You were never trained for this task, but were told to go ahead anyway? Communicate that in an email and make sure it's acknowledged before you proceed. I'm sorry to be so cynical, but I learned these lessons the hard way.
posted by keep it under cover at 6:50 PM on December 28, 2020 [2 favorites]
here's what i learned by suddenly being the only person in a department, who knew some but not all things about the department's responsibilities: know one else knows what you're supposed to be doing either. you know what results you need, and you can just do whatever works to get those results. "the right way" of doing it is now whatever you say it is. and always remember, none of this actually matters and it isn't a big deal even though They say it is.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 9:18 AM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by misanthropicsarah at 9:18 AM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
Honestly, it doesn't sound like much of this is within your control. I had something similar happen to me a few years back - my boss left, we were already understaffed, and instead of getting me help, they gave me a promotion I didn't request or want. However, the reality was there was no scenario where I would get help, so this was their consolation gift. I took it, it was hard, but I survived. More importantly, I wouldn't have gained anything by refusing, because the practical outcome was set. It was happening either way, and I could either get a better title and more money out of it, or I could get screwed with more work and get nothing. DO NOT CHOOSE GETTING NOTHING!
Whether or not you try to refuse the promotion, you are going to be expected to absorb the work your boss is leaving behind. Your boss knows this, and she's advocating for you to get promoted because she wants you to gain SOMETHING from this situation, even if that something is sort of shitty. Everything she is saying about her job not being back filled and the need to advocate for more help later...this is corporate speak, and what it translates to is there is no plan to add staff to the department. On the balance sheet, in the corporate budget, they are going from 2 heads to 1, and they will not be looking at that budget again until they are absolutely forced to, and that would probably be if you quit as well.
Looking at it through that lens, I hope it becomes obvious that refusing this promotion just means you will be refusing to get additional compensation for taking on more work and responsibility. What you do here is not likely to change their hiring plan for your department, particularly in the short term, and the department hiring plan shouldn't impact how you are personally compensated for the inevitable increased workload you will be taking on. If you have concerns about your long term career path being hindered by being over-leveled too early, that is worth considering, and maybe you can negotiate on title to ensure you land in an appropriate place, but please take SOMETHING for now, and if the situation is as untenable long term as you've indicated, start looking for a new role elsewhere.
Final note: I work in a big corporation and we've had a number of folks leave during covid on top of waves of corporate layoffs, with more to come. Pretty much none of those heads have been back-filled. Your situation is not all that unique right now, and most companies understand there will be gaps when they constrict a team or have a junior person absorb work from a more senior person. In addition, an outside head will always have a learning curve - even if you feel behind, you are still 8 months ahead of an outside candidate. That has value. And don't be so quick to assume you can't figure this out - you are likely more capable of doing this serviceably for the near term and growing into it long term than you seem to believe, and now is likely a great moment to try, because expectations frankly are probably lower/more forgiving than they would be in another scenario.
posted by amycup at 11:41 AM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
Whether or not you try to refuse the promotion, you are going to be expected to absorb the work your boss is leaving behind. Your boss knows this, and she's advocating for you to get promoted because she wants you to gain SOMETHING from this situation, even if that something is sort of shitty. Everything she is saying about her job not being back filled and the need to advocate for more help later...this is corporate speak, and what it translates to is there is no plan to add staff to the department. On the balance sheet, in the corporate budget, they are going from 2 heads to 1, and they will not be looking at that budget again until they are absolutely forced to, and that would probably be if you quit as well.
Looking at it through that lens, I hope it becomes obvious that refusing this promotion just means you will be refusing to get additional compensation for taking on more work and responsibility. What you do here is not likely to change their hiring plan for your department, particularly in the short term, and the department hiring plan shouldn't impact how you are personally compensated for the inevitable increased workload you will be taking on. If you have concerns about your long term career path being hindered by being over-leveled too early, that is worth considering, and maybe you can negotiate on title to ensure you land in an appropriate place, but please take SOMETHING for now, and if the situation is as untenable long term as you've indicated, start looking for a new role elsewhere.
Final note: I work in a big corporation and we've had a number of folks leave during covid on top of waves of corporate layoffs, with more to come. Pretty much none of those heads have been back-filled. Your situation is not all that unique right now, and most companies understand there will be gaps when they constrict a team or have a junior person absorb work from a more senior person. In addition, an outside head will always have a learning curve - even if you feel behind, you are still 8 months ahead of an outside candidate. That has value. And don't be so quick to assume you can't figure this out - you are likely more capable of doing this serviceably for the near term and growing into it long term than you seem to believe, and now is likely a great moment to try, because expectations frankly are probably lower/more forgiving than they would be in another scenario.
posted by amycup at 11:41 AM on December 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
You should worry more about whether you want to do this and less about whether you can. Because you can. My old boss left to take a CTO job and I got promoted to a director-level job with a $2 million software budget and a similar people budget. Just by being nervous about fucking up and asking a lot of questions, within a year my budgets and other admin stuff was done WAAAAY better than 90% of people at my level (I was told this). Just be candid with colleagues, suppliers, peers in other departments, etc. Like “Bob, I’ve never submitted a purchase request before. Would you meet me and walk me through it?” Most people like to feel smart and will happily do this, and respect you for your honesty.
The biggest issues are 1) can you count on support from above, 2) will they consider hiring a junior person to work for you and do what you used to do, and 3) SHOW ME THE MONEY! #2 is good because you’ll get to balance your nerves in your new role with feeling confident as you train a new person to do what you already know well.
For #3 I had to do the work at my old level for almost a year but I then got double-promoted, which is rare. This will depend on your level of trust and communication with your boss’ boss.
Give it a shot. If you hate it, there are other jobs out there!
posted by freecellwizard at 4:02 PM on December 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
The biggest issues are 1) can you count on support from above, 2) will they consider hiring a junior person to work for you and do what you used to do, and 3) SHOW ME THE MONEY! #2 is good because you’ll get to balance your nerves in your new role with feeling confident as you train a new person to do what you already know well.
For #3 I had to do the work at my old level for almost a year but I then got double-promoted, which is rare. This will depend on your level of trust and communication with your boss’ boss.
Give it a shot. If you hate it, there are other jobs out there!
posted by freecellwizard at 4:02 PM on December 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Then I would ask yourself: do you want these things? If you can set aside the fear, do you *want* to move up in your career? Do you *want* to manage people? Do you *want* to learn about contracts and managing a large budget? Are these directions you want to go eventually, even if it's not right now?
If what you wrote above is true (“I just don’t feel ready, but would if I had more time and guidance.”) then I would ask: what kind of support would make this work for you? You could ask for things like:
- your old boss available as a consultant X hours/week to answer questions and train you
- management training
- a person reporting to you with experience in contracts or budgets or whatever help you need
- a more senior mentor within the company
- a leadership coach to work with you on growing into the role
- a raise (how much would make it worth it for you?)
The way your question reads suggests the possibility that you think your current boss is the only possible source of support and help, and she's abandoning you. It sucks that she's leaving, but you can get support and help from many sources! Which ones would you want?
posted by medusa at 1:08 PM on December 28, 2020 [5 favorites]