Save me from the end of the internet
December 22, 2020 5:11 PM Subscribe
So, I am basically in need of nonstop distraction, and finding that my current internet destinations are not up to the task, quite. By the middle of the afternoon I tend to have reached The End of The (or at least My) Internet. Does the thing I'm looking for exist anymore?
I have Metafilter and a couple of social media accounts but to be honest, that only fills about 2 hours. Twitter is all of the content a human can handle if you want to read just unadulterated trash and racism and panic. Now that my follow list is filtered down to halfway decent humans, I'm at like 30 or 40 new tweets a day, tops.
What I am looking for, I think, is essentially an Ask Metafilter that is mostly chatfilter. Just people having decently-moderated conversations, and having a lot of them.
Back in the Day, one could find a blog or a website with a robust message board system or forum system (think old-school MSN boards, or Pandagon and its ilk) and just click around the forums for a minute until you found a conversation that was going strong. There would be occasional jerks but anything outright bananapants was moderated away.
There are still a few forums of this type for very specific communities--parenting boards seem to be a thing, for example. But I am not really involved in any particular communities, so very focused stuff is less interesting to me than a forum that has a variety of topics. Do you have a general-interest internet forum to recommend, so that I can stop refreshing every MeFi thread long past the point of its death?
I have Metafilter and a couple of social media accounts but to be honest, that only fills about 2 hours. Twitter is all of the content a human can handle if you want to read just unadulterated trash and racism and panic. Now that my follow list is filtered down to halfway decent humans, I'm at like 30 or 40 new tweets a day, tops.
What I am looking for, I think, is essentially an Ask Metafilter that is mostly chatfilter. Just people having decently-moderated conversations, and having a lot of them.
Back in the Day, one could find a blog or a website with a robust message board system or forum system (think old-school MSN boards, or Pandagon and its ilk) and just click around the forums for a minute until you found a conversation that was going strong. There would be occasional jerks but anything outright bananapants was moderated away.
There are still a few forums of this type for very specific communities--parenting boards seem to be a thing, for example. But I am not really involved in any particular communities, so very focused stuff is less interesting to me than a forum that has a variety of topics. Do you have a general-interest internet forum to recommend, so that I can stop refreshing every MeFi thread long past the point of its death?
Will you read moderated reddit communities? If so, I recommend: r/AmItheAsshole, r/relationships, and r/relationship_advice
posted by skye.dancer at 5:21 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by skye.dancer at 5:21 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]
Just people having decently-moderated conversations, and having a lot of them.
Reddit moderation varies, though, and no one is paid. Read fight or flight's comment here, for sure.
posted by soelo at 5:24 PM on December 22, 2020
Reddit moderation varies, though, and no one is paid. Read fight or flight's comment here, for sure.
posted by soelo at 5:24 PM on December 22, 2020
Yes, Reddit is the place to go. There are subReddits for nearly every interest, they're easy to subscribe to and easy to unsubscribe from. This also makes it easy to tune out the Bad Stuff. r/AskHistorians is a excellent forum, heavily moderated by Real Historians. I also enjoy r/IdiotsInCars, r/BitchImATrain, several of the many r/TalesFrom[Retail, TechSupport, etc, etc.], r/LegalAdvice, and a jillion more. I've got mine tuned so I hear occasional swear words but very little argument and invective, and it's easy to just click the back button and move on.
posted by lhauser at 5:30 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by lhauser at 5:30 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I have to admit I just super super hate reddit's interface? The nesting and the upvoting and all of that just makes it nigh unreadable to me. But I don't have an account; does the experience improve when you do have an account?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 5:46 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 5:46 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]
does the experience improve when you do have an account?
Dramatically. Especially since otherwise you can't unsubscribe to 'default' subs.
Reddit is a nasty, wild, ugly place, but it's also got wonderful parts, if you're willing to go through a little effort to shut out what you don't like. It's kind of like the heir to Usenet, and for better or worse it's still the best thing going for the type of wide spectrum talk you seem to be looking for.
Personally I mostly avoid any big subs but have some great protracted conversations and 'know' lots of usernames on smaller subs (how size of sub interacts with moderation quality and your own personal bs threshold is something you will figure out over a few weeks/months if you use it actively).
Cost of trying is low, cost of quitting is nil, so check it out is my advice.
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:57 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]
Dramatically. Especially since otherwise you can't unsubscribe to 'default' subs.
Reddit is a nasty, wild, ugly place, but it's also got wonderful parts, if you're willing to go through a little effort to shut out what you don't like. It's kind of like the heir to Usenet, and for better or worse it's still the best thing going for the type of wide spectrum talk you seem to be looking for.
Personally I mostly avoid any big subs but have some great protracted conversations and 'know' lots of usernames on smaller subs (how size of sub interacts with moderation quality and your own personal bs threshold is something you will figure out over a few weeks/months if you use it actively).
Cost of trying is low, cost of quitting is nil, so check it out is my advice.
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:57 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]
Sometimes when I'm looking for a thrill I'll expand the comments on an instagram ad and read through people being bad at math or having terrible opinions about clothing and home decor.
For instance just last week I tapped over into the profile of someone who was making a big stink about percentages on some blanket ad and also being very incorrect and I saw that they sold MLM essential oils. I didn't do anything with this information, but it confirmed my biases and sometimes it's nice to know that amid all the chaos and unpredicability of this year there are still people out there who are just regular old dumb.
posted by phunniemee at 6:56 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]
For instance just last week I tapped over into the profile of someone who was making a big stink about percentages on some blanket ad and also being very incorrect and I saw that they sold MLM essential oils. I didn't do anything with this information, but it confirmed my biases and sometimes it's nice to know that amid all the chaos and unpredicability of this year there are still people out there who are just regular old dumb.
posted by phunniemee at 6:56 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Reddit is probably what you're looking for, but I waste my time at Something Awful. Most of the forums are pretty chill (maybe steer clear of FYAD), the culture is a bit different from Mefi but it is pretty well moderated. Like here, there is a one time $10 fee to join, but I think you can lurk around and read for free.
posted by rodlymight at 7:40 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by rodlymight at 7:40 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
I've found some discords that are relevant to my intrests that are really great groups of people who chat. Mine are within fandoms mostly and are well moderated in that the community has been built on a way that focuses on being respectful and such. It's like reddit in that ymmv greatly, but I've found some neat places. And they are really active, all day.
posted by AlexiaSky at 7:46 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by AlexiaSky at 7:46 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
You might like the Straight Dope Message Board. They've been around FOREVER--I remember lurking there shortly after I got dial-up internet in 1996.
The site is moderated and divided into different categories--I think the ones you're looking for would be General Questions (factual questions) and In My Humble Opinion (chatty questions, people asking for advice). You might also like Cafe Society, which has discussions about pop culture, the arts, cooking, etc.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 7:49 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]
The site is moderated and divided into different categories--I think the ones you're looking for would be General Questions (factual questions) and In My Humble Opinion (chatty questions, people asking for advice). You might also like Cafe Society, which has discussions about pop culture, the arts, cooking, etc.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 7:49 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]
I haven't dived, in, but maybe one of these Discords?
https://ask.metafilter.com/341709/Discord-servers-where-everybody-knows-your-name
I spend some time chatting/lurking on reddit, but I've never come away with a feeling I've had a conversation or made an acquaintance, it's just
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Burt: smart-ass comment
Me: yadda
Carol: inane comment
Dean: yadda
Me: yadda
Liz: yadda
Frank: yadda
As opposed to
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Reddit is great for some light technical support, political chat, asking real living historians stuff or lurking while other do so, or to know what's going on in your city; you may want to check it out for your city at least. But I have not had luck with actual conversation.
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:55 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
https://ask.metafilter.com/341709/Discord-servers-where-everybody-knows-your-name
I spend some time chatting/lurking on reddit, but I've never come away with a feeling I've had a conversation or made an acquaintance, it's just
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Burt: smart-ass comment
Me: yadda
Carol: inane comment
Dean: yadda
Me: yadda
Liz: yadda
Frank: yadda
As opposed to
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Me: yadda
Ann: yadda
Reddit is great for some light technical support, political chat, asking real living historians stuff or lurking while other do so, or to know what's going on in your city; you may want to check it out for your city at least. But I have not had luck with actual conversation.
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:55 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
Babycenter honestly has a ton of just chatty boards by people who are, yes, mostly moms but want to not talk about parenting and babies all the time. Take ten minutes to poke around or search:
https://community.babycenter.com/groups
posted by nakedmolerats at 8:38 PM on December 22, 2020
https://community.babycenter.com/groups
posted by nakedmolerats at 8:38 PM on December 22, 2020
If you're on a desktop, the Reddit Enhancement Suite makes Reddit more bearable, too. And I say this as very much a latecomer to Reddit.
posted by stormyteal at 8:44 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by stormyteal at 8:44 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]
Get into a fandom? Now that I don’t have one, I run out of internet in like two hours. I scroll through MetaFilter, Reddit, think about logging into Instagram, follow some links from a local newsletter, and then I give up on the internet for the day. When I was into an active fandom, there was always a steady stream of new content.
posted by betweenthebars at 10:21 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 10:21 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]
I cruise the viral posts on Imgur. I keep adblockers on and don't sign in. There is lots of repitition but it's easy to skip. Comments are not too bad and often hilarious. Now that we're moving past the elections, the silliness factor is reemerging.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:12 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:12 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]
If you prefer old-school forums, I recommend my other daily read, ResetEra. It was originally a popular and influential video game forum called NeoGAF, but after the founder got #MeToo'd most of the userbase abandoned it for a custom-built replacement using the latest forum software. It's divided into a Gaming board and an Etcetera board for more general discussion, each with an associated "Hangout" section for dedicated community threads on various interests (i.e., individual games and platforms for Gaming, and hobbies/communities/political megathreads for Etcetera). It's tightly-moderated, strongly progressive-leaning, and very active all hours of the day with everything from hard news and politics to pop culture to chatfilter and shitposts. And there's almost guaranteed to be a community hangout thread for whatever niche interest floats your boat.
posted by Rhaomi at 2:48 AM on December 23, 2020
posted by Rhaomi at 2:48 AM on December 23, 2020
It’s less of a conversation but I get an AskMefi type pleasure from reading advice columns. I read Danny Lavery’s Dear Prudence and the Care and Feeding parenting advice columns, both on Slate, and Ask a Manager. People also like Captain Awkward but I don’t like how her website is formatted for mobile. Sometimes I read Ask Polly in New York Magazine. (NB Slate and NYM are paywalled but I just read on incognito and have had no difficulties).
If you’re into Reddit AITA and similar but don’t want to actually hang out there there are loads of Twitter and Instagram accounts that curate questions and responses for your perusal.
posted by Concordia at 3:26 AM on December 23, 2020 [5 favorites]
If you’re into Reddit AITA and similar but don’t want to actually hang out there there are loads of Twitter and Instagram accounts that curate questions and responses for your perusal.
posted by Concordia at 3:26 AM on December 23, 2020 [5 favorites]
Reddit is plain nasty - but it's what caused me to move on from metafilter.
Here are the dangerous rabbit hole.
1. Start a reddit account on desktop. You'll need this in a second.
2. Load old.reddit.com. Much better/less interface. There's a chrome/firefox extension for this.
3. Load Reddit Enhancement suite - a very useful/necessary extension (chrome/firefox). Now it's J/K to go up/down. A/S to rate up/down. X to open the main topic + image. Shift X does all the images. Threads? J/K goes up/down and enter key opens/closes higher thread groupings.
4. Unsubscribe to those things you hate. Search and subscribe to subreddits you like. You can 'uncheck' the subreddit style (right side bar) and get rid of the CSS specific to any subreddit. They now all look (mostly) the same.
Problem: Your main page is now stuff you love. This is why this is dangerous.
Want the pure dopamine/cocaine effect?
Go to your main page, J/K and then use Shift L to open a link as it's own tab. Suddenly you're 25+ tabs in of stuff you want to look at. Run out? No big deal, the churn has probably happened and you can do it again.
posted by filmgeek at 9:14 AM on December 23, 2020 [7 favorites]
Here are the dangerous rabbit hole.
1. Start a reddit account on desktop. You'll need this in a second.
2. Load old.reddit.com. Much better/less interface. There's a chrome/firefox extension for this.
3. Load Reddit Enhancement suite - a very useful/necessary extension (chrome/firefox). Now it's J/K to go up/down. A/S to rate up/down. X to open the main topic + image. Shift X does all the images. Threads? J/K goes up/down and enter key opens/closes higher thread groupings.
4. Unsubscribe to those things you hate. Search and subscribe to subreddits you like. You can 'uncheck' the subreddit style (right side bar) and get rid of the CSS specific to any subreddit. They now all look (mostly) the same.
Problem: Your main page is now stuff you love. This is why this is dangerous.
Want the pure dopamine/cocaine effect?
Go to your main page, J/K and then use Shift L to open a link as it's own tab. Suddenly you're 25+ tabs in of stuff you want to look at. Run out? No big deal, the churn has probably happened and you can do it again.
posted by filmgeek at 9:14 AM on December 23, 2020 [7 favorites]
Best answer: Echoing rodlymight, you just might enjoy the Something Awful Forums. Is the platform decrepit and outdated? Yes. Was it until recently owned by someone who beats women? Also yes, but it is no longer; the forums revolted and the ownership was transferred. Do you have to pay $10 to get an account there, which is even more than Metafilter? Yes. Is the moderation an even handed thing seeking decorum? No, it resembles more of a turfwar. Parts of it are better than others; there are some subforums that will contain people you do not like, and other forums that will be fine for you, the moderation of these places is different. Like Metafilter, is the community insular and full of insider lingo? Also yes. The discourse is more rough and tumble when people clash. However, it's full of many many topic threads, you can bookmark the threads (which are flat and not threaded, which I think you'd see as a bonus, and not managed through upvoting) and see which of your bookmarks have new posts, there's a phone app that makes it easy to read all the new stuff on your phone, and it's full of smart people talking about things. I never even keep up on all the threads I have bookmarked.
posted by foxfirefey at 10:31 AM on December 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by foxfirefey at 10:31 AM on December 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I'm on a mix of Reddit, Resetera, and SA (which I'm glad got better).
Discord is fun but not that great for actual convo like threads since it's always moving and you can be very late to certain topics where everyone has moved on and you're just there. I end up using it as a IM replacement for friends instead of just joining random Discords for chat.
I would rank Resetera > SA > Discord > Reddit from my experience with all the platforms.
posted by chrono_rabbit at 12:03 PM on December 23, 2020
Discord is fun but not that great for actual convo like threads since it's always moving and you can be very late to certain topics where everyone has moved on and you're just there. I end up using it as a IM replacement for friends instead of just joining random Discords for chat.
I would rank Resetera > SA > Discord > Reddit from my experience with all the platforms.
posted by chrono_rabbit at 12:03 PM on December 23, 2020
Just echoing that it's helpful to find subreddits you like. I don't agree with the recommendations above exactly (r/AmItheAsshole, r/relationships, and r/relationship_advice) but to each their own!
posted by slidell at 12:36 PM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by slidell at 12:36 PM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
Not quite the same as a forum, but what about Ask a Manager? It's a work-centered advice column with very active comment sections and weekend open threads. You'd obviously need to find reading about work life interesting, but I find it's a good place to waste time when I run out of Internet.
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 3:23 PM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 3:23 PM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
A while back, I became obsessed with a real life murder mystery (Kris Kremers and Lisanne Froon), and started frequenting boards where people discuss what they think may have happened. There are an astounding number of these types of cases, and if they interest you, you could get a LOT of distracting out of trying to figure them out and chatting with others about them.
I know you say you are looking for something Metafiltery, but would videos be out of the question? I have spent ridiculous amounts of time surfing from one video to the next on YouTube. I might start out with a search for, say, the 1918 flu pandemic, and end up watching something about, I dunno, 18th century Russian royalty that I never would have normally had an interest in. Youtube is good at suggesting weird tangents.
Occasionally I will get a crush on an obscure actor or other entertainer, and then I have to hunt down all their interviews/pictures/films. The last time this happened was with Brenda Sexton III a couple of years ago. I'd loved Boys Don't Cry and Welcome to the Dollhouse but hadn't initially realized it was the same actor. Looking up his work online, I ended up watching some movies and tv show episodes I never otherwise would have happened upon, some of which were phenomenal (Russian Doll, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri).
posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 8:03 AM on December 24, 2020
I know you say you are looking for something Metafiltery, but would videos be out of the question? I have spent ridiculous amounts of time surfing from one video to the next on YouTube. I might start out with a search for, say, the 1918 flu pandemic, and end up watching something about, I dunno, 18th century Russian royalty that I never would have normally had an interest in. Youtube is good at suggesting weird tangents.
Occasionally I will get a crush on an obscure actor or other entertainer, and then I have to hunt down all their interviews/pictures/films. The last time this happened was with Brenda Sexton III a couple of years ago. I'd loved Boys Don't Cry and Welcome to the Dollhouse but hadn't initially realized it was the same actor. Looking up his work online, I ended up watching some movies and tv show episodes I never otherwise would have happened upon, some of which were phenomenal (Russian Doll, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri).
posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 8:03 AM on December 24, 2020
Definitely reddit but there is a lot of trash on there. There are a lot of young blokes who have issues with women however if you find a decent subreddit (with a good moderator who gets rid of them) you could probably enjoy it. You just get used to how it looks. I believe you can change the skins and there's dark mode too. r/askwomen or r/askmen can be good if you don't want anything topic-specific. Also when a thread gains traction (no matter which sub it's from), it will appear on your main page much like you were saying about the good old days where you "just click around the forums for a minute until you found a conversation that was going strong". That's reddit.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 4:12 PM on December 24, 2020
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 4:12 PM on December 24, 2020
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posted by soelo at 5:20 PM on December 22, 2020 [15 favorites]