Not a fast-talker, just a fast talker

December 4, 2020 12:15 PM

I talk fast, always have. I know it's hard for some people to understand me, so I want to learn to slow down. Whenever I focus on speaking more slowly and clearly, I start out strong but then I lose focus (and speed up) as soon as I start thinking about the content of what I'm saying. Did you struggle with something like this? Have any tips?
posted by mosst to Writing & Language (12 answers total)

focus on pausing as a first step. Pausing is also good for making sure you aren't talking over others.

You can also train yourself to enunciate, which is much easier than training yourself to slow down. Enunciating is an active thing and you can hear it yourself, unlike speed. Enunciating will both make you easier to understand and will also have the effect of slowing you down a bit.
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:34 PM on December 4, 2020 [7 favorites]

A good beginner’s enunciation exercise is the old talking with a pencil between your teeth.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:49 PM on December 4, 2020

I am a fast talker and a monologuer and a rambler who branches off into eight different subtopics at a time. I also hold my breath when I am angry, anxious or concentrating very hard. Which of course makes it harder to stay calm, or to perform complicated tasks. Including show jumping horses, during which time let me tell you holding your breath is freaking dangerous.... I digress.

Do you maintain any kind of meditation practice? I find that the mere fact of being reasonably regular with my meditation practice is something that improves these personal challenges. My feeling is that when I spend some time frequently practicing focusing on my breath in a targeted way, I become more aware of my breath even during times I am not focusing. More breath awareness means more pauses to take a breath and re-orient the pace or tone of voice in which I am speaking (*), or just to notice, hey wait, girl ya gotta breathe here! Or maybe, catch your breath and let someone else have the talking stick awhile. Giving people that chance to give feedback is another way to slow your speech you know?

(*) Just today, I was explaining something to my son and I noticed I had been holding my breath. As a result I was talking very fast and clipped. Which I think made me seem angry or annoyed. I wasn't! But it was an amazing thing because I noticed I was not breathing and I noticed the way that felt. I was able to stop and say "Oh hey sorry, I am holding my breath and that's why I'm talking like this. I'm not angry at you. Let me take another breath and pause for a minute and change my tone with this."
posted by MustangMamaVE at 12:58 PM on December 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

I struggle with this, and do a lot of public presentation that is translated. One of the many translators who has pleaded with me to slow down suggested a metronome app, which is a lot easier to use in a meeting now that we're all on video. I have it running quietly with just a soft tick and it really helps me slow my rhythm down.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:05 PM on December 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

I struggle with this and was surprised to find it was something my therapist was interested in from a self-confidence perspective.

I don’t know that it’s a very practical suggestion but it was interesting to me to spend some time thinking about why it is I talk fast. Maybe it would help you also?
posted by ElliotH at 3:23 PM on December 4, 2020

In situations where you're able to look directly at the people you're talking with, do that - keep your eyes on their face(s) and practice gauging their reactions to what you're saying. Do they seem like they're following you? Are they nodding along? Do they look like they have something to interject?

Just paying attention should slow you down some on its own, but if you find that's not enough you can also practice making a point of pausing after you make any point for some kind of reaction - even something like a tiny nod - to make sure your audience has been able to absorb what you've been saying.
posted by trig at 4:40 PM on December 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

I started visualizing: "what would Donald Pleasence say?" It actually helped me a lot in this sort of thing. Like fingersandtoes says above, he spoke slowly, paused often, enunciated clearly, and clipped his words. I'm not perfect but it helped.
posted by ovvl at 4:58 PM on December 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

The trick I use is to start a metronome in my head and loosely, not rigidly, try to keep my speech at that pace. It takes practice to find a tempo that feels natural without sounding like you're reading Chaucer badly, but again, if I think of it as a VERY loose guideline, it keeps me from getting too far ahead of the thought I'm currently trying to communicate.
posted by mykescipark at 5:00 PM on December 4, 2020

While you talk, slowly and methodically run your hand or finger along something.

You can trail a finger along the edge of your desk, down the seam of your jeans, along your sleeve, or even rub your index finger very slowly against your thumb. Keep a measured pace with your hand, and your mouth will slow down to match it.

You can also search "cluttering" - a speech dysfluency where too many words pour out at once and the result is a bit like stuttering - for other tips.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:09 PM on December 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Toastmasters would probably help with this!
posted by Merricat Blackwood at 7:44 PM on December 4, 2020

I am very much like this and can also, unfortunately, be a loud talker too, when I get excited. While this won't help in all situations, one thing I do often, with people I know well and also with my classes, is give people advance notice that I talk too quickly and ask them to tell me if I'm speaking too quickly and ask me to slow down. I flag this early and often and encourage them to interrupt me and signal if it happens. People do and have taken me up on it. I know it's not a preventative solution and obviously not appropriate in all contexts but this approach has definitely made others feel much more comfortable speaking up to slow me down and makes more more aware of how and why I speed up (often when I am excited about the conversation or an idea, especially about what someone else has said or offered!)
posted by The Rehearsal at 3:25 PM on December 5, 2020

I think I alternate between quiet and whydoweevenneedpausestherearesomanyideasandsolittletime, but I try to remind myself, especially when I'm doing a presentation, to check in after a set amount of time and gauge, am I talking way too fast? Because I can tell from the audience.
posted by history is a weapon at 6:39 PM on December 6, 2020