cat wants early morning attention after being fed
November 1, 2020 3:43 AM Subscribe
We feed our cat with an automated feeder in the mornings to stop early morning wake up calls. This worked for a while but now she's started yowling after eating and we're not really sure what to do. What's the best approach to making this stop?
Our cat has recently started making a racket at 7 AM but strangely, it doesn't seem to be about getting fed because she only starts after her cat feeder has already released her food for the day and she's eaten it. She'll eat her food and then she'll come to our bedroom and meow incessantly in the doorway. Because we live in a flat with thin walls and neighbours we don't want to hate us, I've made the mistake of attempting to stop her by getting up, going into the living room and falling asleep on the sofa which does deter the meowing. (It's odd as our flat is tiny and the living room is like, a foot away from our bedroom, and she seems to be content with me or my partner just moving a few feet and going back to sleep on the sofa.)
After reading previous AskMes and various pet advice websites, we've learned that we shouldn't be rewarding her behaviour so have stopped getting up when she demands it. She already has food, water and access to her litter box. We leave out quiet toys for her to play with. We play with her and give her lots of attention before bed. Maybe she's just grown to be a bit needier as we're WFH all the time now. Yet she persists and now, my partner and I have differing opinions on next steps.
I observed that when she tried to wake us up and we ignored her, the meowing died down after a few annoying minutes. My god, are those minutes looooong! But I think if we persist like this, we'd have a rough couple of weeks, though eventually she would learn that meowing doesn't get her anywhere.
My partner thinks that a fast and harmless solution is to use a spray bottle to spray, not directly at her, but in her general direction. Our cat is adopted and I suspect that she was disciplined with a spray bottle in the past because she runs away when she hears a spraying sound (e.g. when I'm using deodorant or spraying air freshener). In my opinion, she already has an obvious negative association with spray bottles and using something that scares her to deter her behaviour is not really that harmless. My sleep-deprived partner says I am naive and this is how animals are trained, but I'm not at all comfortable using this method.
We're both tired and at a loss.
What is the best method to stop this early-morning noise? Is spraying more harmless than I think? Are there other options that we've overlooked?
Our cat has recently started making a racket at 7 AM but strangely, it doesn't seem to be about getting fed because she only starts after her cat feeder has already released her food for the day and she's eaten it. She'll eat her food and then she'll come to our bedroom and meow incessantly in the doorway. Because we live in a flat with thin walls and neighbours we don't want to hate us, I've made the mistake of attempting to stop her by getting up, going into the living room and falling asleep on the sofa which does deter the meowing. (It's odd as our flat is tiny and the living room is like, a foot away from our bedroom, and she seems to be content with me or my partner just moving a few feet and going back to sleep on the sofa.)
After reading previous AskMes and various pet advice websites, we've learned that we shouldn't be rewarding her behaviour so have stopped getting up when she demands it. She already has food, water and access to her litter box. We leave out quiet toys for her to play with. We play with her and give her lots of attention before bed. Maybe she's just grown to be a bit needier as we're WFH all the time now. Yet she persists and now, my partner and I have differing opinions on next steps.
I observed that when she tried to wake us up and we ignored her, the meowing died down after a few annoying minutes. My god, are those minutes looooong! But I think if we persist like this, we'd have a rough couple of weeks, though eventually she would learn that meowing doesn't get her anywhere.
My partner thinks that a fast and harmless solution is to use a spray bottle to spray, not directly at her, but in her general direction. Our cat is adopted and I suspect that she was disciplined with a spray bottle in the past because she runs away when she hears a spraying sound (e.g. when I'm using deodorant or spraying air freshener). In my opinion, she already has an obvious negative association with spray bottles and using something that scares her to deter her behaviour is not really that harmless. My sleep-deprived partner says I am naive and this is how animals are trained, but I'm not at all comfortable using this method.
We're both tired and at a loss.
What is the best method to stop this early-morning noise? Is spraying more harmless than I think? Are there other options that we've overlooked?
Response by poster: We took her to the vet about a month ago for routine vaccinations. After she was weighed, we were told to put her on a diet because her weigh-ins show her as gaining weight steadily between vet visits. I hadn't considered that hyperthyroidism was a possibility because she's gaining, not losing, weight but I can make an appointment with the vet to discuss.
posted by quadrant seasons at 5:39 AM on November 1, 2020
posted by quadrant seasons at 5:39 AM on November 1, 2020
If she's allowed on your bed, she might be happy with just cuddling with you there while you pet her sleepily.
posted by Hypatia at 6:08 AM on November 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Hypatia at 6:08 AM on November 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
If you put her on a diet, or the dispenser gives her less than she would like she might be wanting more food and telling you so
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:25 AM on November 1, 2020
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:25 AM on November 1, 2020
There are a lot of good books on training cats. Probably most of them will be against spraying the cat -- you can probably find a fairly short one to read with your partner.
posted by amtho at 8:28 AM on November 1, 2020
posted by amtho at 8:28 AM on November 1, 2020
Best answer: Is spraying more harmless than I think?
You think the cat seems scared, so - the answer might be "yes" if you're misinterpreting your cat's body language, or it might be "no" if you're interpreting it correctly. In general, I think that scaring animals is a bad idea. In general, a stressed cat is worse than a relaxed cat, and living in a scary environment can make a cat stressed.
(That said, I've used this method before. I wouldn't do it now except as a last resort because I think it's kind of mean. The old idea was that the cat associates some location, like the kitchen table, with the sudden unpleasant sensation of being wet - so it avoids the table. Cats don't really understand punishment or causality in the way that we do. Your cat might not understand at all that the scary noise of the spray bottle is occurring because it's meowing at you early in the morning. It might just associate it with you getting the bottle, with being at your door at all, with you getting up from bed, etc.)
I assume that if you aren't letting the cat sleep with you already, there's a reason. So, assuming that isn't going to change...
You really just need to ignore the cat. It sucks for a little while but this is like ... the first, most basic step that almost everyone will agree on. Absolutely do not get up and give the cat attention, more food, etc.
A white noise machine and/or earplugs can make the noise much less invasive.
After that doesn't work is when you start to think about other options.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:39 AM on November 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
You think the cat seems scared, so - the answer might be "yes" if you're misinterpreting your cat's body language, or it might be "no" if you're interpreting it correctly. In general, I think that scaring animals is a bad idea. In general, a stressed cat is worse than a relaxed cat, and living in a scary environment can make a cat stressed.
(That said, I've used this method before. I wouldn't do it now except as a last resort because I think it's kind of mean. The old idea was that the cat associates some location, like the kitchen table, with the sudden unpleasant sensation of being wet - so it avoids the table. Cats don't really understand punishment or causality in the way that we do. Your cat might not understand at all that the scary noise of the spray bottle is occurring because it's meowing at you early in the morning. It might just associate it with you getting the bottle, with being at your door at all, with you getting up from bed, etc.)
I assume that if you aren't letting the cat sleep with you already, there's a reason. So, assuming that isn't going to change...
You really just need to ignore the cat. It sucks for a little while but this is like ... the first, most basic step that almost everyone will agree on. Absolutely do not get up and give the cat attention, more food, etc.
A white noise machine and/or earplugs can make the noise much less invasive.
After that doesn't work is when you start to think about other options.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:39 AM on November 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I laughed reading this question because I have had many long conversations with my cat about why she wants to sleep with me on the couch but not in my own bed.
We broke her of this habit by absolutely rejecting the urge to placate her when she does this. We went through a rough two weeks- her longest stretch of meowing was 45 minutes one night. She also does this horrible dance on our headboard where she often falls off onto our faces. It gets worse before it gets better.
But it stopped- we stuck to our guns and she gave up.
Additional notes: we provided a heating pad for her in our bedroom during this transition which she used a little to begin with and more as it’s gotten cooler at night. Also, an important consideration is that she wants to be with you. So make sure you are giving her LOTS of daily attention. Our cat gets played with as much as people play with their dogs.
Good luck!
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 9:02 AM on November 1, 2020
We broke her of this habit by absolutely rejecting the urge to placate her when she does this. We went through a rough two weeks- her longest stretch of meowing was 45 minutes one night. She also does this horrible dance on our headboard where she often falls off onto our faces. It gets worse before it gets better.
But it stopped- we stuck to our guns and she gave up.
Additional notes: we provided a heating pad for her in our bedroom during this transition which she used a little to begin with and more as it’s gotten cooler at night. Also, an important consideration is that she wants to be with you. So make sure you are giving her LOTS of daily attention. Our cat gets played with as much as people play with their dogs.
Good luck!
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 9:02 AM on November 1, 2020
Response by poster: I don't want to thread-sit but wanted to add some details in case they're relevant:
We did consider that maybe she wants more food but she's actually leaving a bit of food in her dish and eating it throughout the day. It's one of us going into the living room, even if it's just to go back to sleep, that she seems to like. Based on BuddhaInABucket's comment, it sounds like this is a thing that happens.
We keep the bedroom door open so our cat can wander in and out of our bedroom as she pleases. She goes through phases of sleeping in various spots around our bedroom including on the bed, on the table next to the bed, on the rug near the bed, etc. We love it when she sleeps on the bed!
posted by quadrant seasons at 9:12 AM on November 1, 2020
We did consider that maybe she wants more food but she's actually leaving a bit of food in her dish and eating it throughout the day. It's one of us going into the living room, even if it's just to go back to sleep, that she seems to like. Based on BuddhaInABucket's comment, it sounds like this is a thing that happens.
We keep the bedroom door open so our cat can wander in and out of our bedroom as she pleases. She goes through phases of sleeping in various spots around our bedroom including on the bed, on the table next to the bed, on the rug near the bed, etc. We love it when she sleeps on the bed!
posted by quadrant seasons at 9:12 AM on November 1, 2020
Can you change the food timer minute by minute over a few weeks so that she starts expressing herself around the time you want to get up?
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 11:42 AM on November 1, 2020
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 11:42 AM on November 1, 2020
Fill up her dish at night before you go to bed. Put enough in it for two feedings. Figure out how much of it she eats, and if the meowing is about something besides food. One of my cats wakes me at daybreak, or if I stir near daybreak. If I roll out at 4 or 5 am and fill their dishes, they leave me alone until I want to get up, which is not much later, but I like it to be light outside. Truthfully, though, my cats want the bed to sleep on for most of the morning. They often don't even let me get it made before they are on it. It is a ritual, I make it within 2 minutes of arising. It is what they do.
posted by Oyéah at 3:24 PM on November 1, 2020
posted by Oyéah at 3:24 PM on November 1, 2020
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posted by snowmentality at 4:25 AM on November 1, 2020 [1 favorite]