Boss is leaving, need a melodramatic quotation for the card.
October 28, 2020 6:44 AM   Subscribe

My most excellent boss is moving up and leaving us, and instead of signing her card with the usual junk we sign those kinds of cards with, I'd like to write a quotation or perhaps a song lyric about being, I don't know, rudderless, without guidance, etc. Maybe even abandoned. The more over-the-top the better -- this is meant to be silly. Any ideas out there?
posted by JanetLand to Media & Arts (15 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I Won't Last a Day Without You by The Carpenters?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:50 AM on October 28

Can’t go wrong with basically any lines from Frozen 2’s excellent power ballad Lost in the Woods.
posted by Night_owl at 6:50 AM on October 28 [3 favorites]

First thing that comes to mind is Antony and Cleopatra, from the scene after Antony follows the queen's retreat:

Egypt, thou knew’st too well
My heart was to thy rudder tied by th’ strings,
And thou shouldst tow me after. O’er my spirit
Thy full supremacy thou knew’st, and that
Thy beck might from the bidding of the gods
Command me.

... though this might give the impression you're about to leave too!
posted by rabbitbookworm at 7:06 AM on October 28 [1 favorite]

The extreme melodrama from The End of the World (Skeeter Davis):

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye.

posted by hellopanda at 7:23 AM on October 28 [7 favorites]

'O tempora, o mores!'?
posted by sagc at 7:29 AM on October 28

o captain! my captain!
posted by ohkay at 7:41 AM on October 28 [5 favorites]

Here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

posted by slidell at 7:42 AM on October 28

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

- Auden
posted by picopebbles at 7:43 AM on October 28 [12 favorites]

"Life without you is a broken pencil.... Pointless"

-Edmund Blackadder
posted by nickggully at 7:48 AM on October 28 [5 favorites]

"Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world..."

-William Butler Yeats

Really nicely captures the sentiment that things will break down without boss to apocalyptic degrees. Can't get more melodramatic than that.
posted by sohalt at 10:44 AM on October 28 [4 favorites]

I mean, Trisha Yearwood, How Do I Live, right?

...tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever, survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live?...
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:50 AM on October 28 [4 favorites]

How am I supposed to live without you, Laura Branigan version.

I could hardly believe it, when I heard the news today
I had to come and get it straight from you
They said you were leavin', someone's swept your heart away
From the look upon your face I see it's true

Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I've been loving you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
And how am I supposed to carry on
posted by mogget at 10:59 AM on October 28 [1 favorite]

This is the perfect occasion for Haiku

Where you’re going to:
Not greener on the other side
but don’t be blue
posted by waving at 11:07 AM on October 28

Melodrama, is it? The Tay Bridge disaster has this:

"The Bridge is down, "the Bridge is down,"
in words of terror spread;
The train is gone, its living freight
Are numbered with the dead.

but I would swap "Bridge" for "Boss".

And then for verse 2, switch over to the inimitable William McGonagall.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 3:10 PM on October 28

Maybe a gender-adjusted version of this quote from Julius Caesar:

"He doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves."
posted by Betelgeuse at 5:28 PM on October 28 [1 favorite]

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