Surname? More like HERname! Amirite?!?
October 20, 2020 12:24 PM Subscribe
I'm getting divorced and I'm at the point in the paperwork where I get to pick a new name! Help me with name ideas, or suggestions for how to pick a new name!
We have 2 children together, who have my maiden name as a middle name, and their dad's surname. I'll be keeping my maiden name as a middle name. I don't want to keep my ex's name, nor do I want to revert to my maiden name only for Fuck the Patriarchy reasons. I've been brainstorming on this for about a year, and while I love the idea of creating a new, unique name for myself, I cannot settle on a specific name.
Factors:
I have a preference for names with easily discernable meanings to English speakers (either English words or Latin-based names)
My first name is Andrea, I go by Dre
My children's names are Basil and Valentine
I would like the name to be tied to my children in some way (but this isn't a dealbreaker)
I have scoured lists of feminists, virtues I hold in every language, family trees and favorite authors' works and characters. The best I've come up with is Greenheart, which is a hardwood so strong it required special tools, and is used in shipbuilding because of it's strength. I like it because it is a nod to my boys' names as well (green-Basil, heart-Valentine). It fits okay with my first and middle names, but it doesn't quite feel like me.
So, any name suggestions? Or resources I could try?
We have 2 children together, who have my maiden name as a middle name, and their dad's surname. I'll be keeping my maiden name as a middle name. I don't want to keep my ex's name, nor do I want to revert to my maiden name only for Fuck the Patriarchy reasons. I've been brainstorming on this for about a year, and while I love the idea of creating a new, unique name for myself, I cannot settle on a specific name.
Factors:
I have a preference for names with easily discernable meanings to English speakers (either English words or Latin-based names)
My first name is Andrea, I go by Dre
My children's names are Basil and Valentine
I would like the name to be tied to my children in some way (but this isn't a dealbreaker)
I have scoured lists of feminists, virtues I hold in every language, family trees and favorite authors' works and characters. The best I've come up with is Greenheart, which is a hardwood so strong it required special tools, and is used in shipbuilding because of it's strength. I like it because it is a nod to my boys' names as well (green-Basil, heart-Valentine). It fits okay with my first and middle names, but it doesn't quite feel like me.
So, any name suggestions? Or resources I could try?
it may be too obvious/literal, but how do you feel about Phoenix?
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 12:44 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 12:44 PM on October 20, 2020
I would suggest maybe Greenwell. Green for basil and well for Valentine. Here's an explanation for the "well" part: "Valentine is a masculine given name derived from the Roman family name Valentinus, which was derived from the Latin word valens, which means "strong and healthy." (I'm also playing off of “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” -Julian of Norwich, who was a woman by the way.)
posted by gudrun at 12:46 PM on October 20, 2020 [13 favorites]
posted by gudrun at 12:46 PM on October 20, 2020 [13 favorites]
This suggestion might have unwanted baggage, but my first thought was that Basil and Valentine are both saints - Saint isn't a common surname, but it isn't unheard of.
posted by the primroses were over at 12:48 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by the primroses were over at 12:48 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Combining the coração or corazón from Portuguese or Spanish with the color verde, Greenheart could be translated as Coraverde.
posted by umbú at 12:52 PM on October 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by umbú at 12:52 PM on October 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Umbu’ had my same thought. You may want to look over your matriarchs to see if there is more within your personal genealogy that harmonizes Greenheart - any Coras? Other maiden names with “green”, “hart”, heart, verde, vert, Etc?
posted by childofTethys at 1:07 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by childofTethys at 1:07 PM on October 20, 2020
YAY! I did this too post-divorce and I highly recommend it -- just pick yourself a new name. It's been ten years now and it still feels like a little present I gave myself.
I'm going to challenge you and say that Greenheart is a fantastic name. It's not common, but it's made of two super common words. It will be really easy to explain to people: "Green like the color, heart like a Valentine heart" (or heart in your chest or whatever). People will be able to spell it easily. It doesn't borrow from a language or ethnicity you can't claim. It has a great meaning to you. And you can draw a heart in green and bang, there's your name.
Any name you pick will feel unfamiliar right now. Maybe try it out by writing it a million times on notebook paper like a schoolgirl, or giving it as your name for reservations or Starbucks drinks?
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:09 PM on October 20, 2020 [56 favorites]
I'm going to challenge you and say that Greenheart is a fantastic name. It's not common, but it's made of two super common words. It will be really easy to explain to people: "Green like the color, heart like a Valentine heart" (or heart in your chest or whatever). People will be able to spell it easily. It doesn't borrow from a language or ethnicity you can't claim. It has a great meaning to you. And you can draw a heart in green and bang, there's your name.
Any name you pick will feel unfamiliar right now. Maybe try it out by writing it a million times on notebook paper like a schoolgirl, or giving it as your name for reservations or Starbucks drinks?
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:09 PM on October 20, 2020 [56 favorites]
Both Basil and Valentine seem to have meanings associated with health, bravery, intrepidness. So, what about Valor?
posted by past unusual at 1:13 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by past unusual at 1:13 PM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
I did this and it is one of things in life that has continued to bring happy feelings ever since. Choose whatever name feels right to you. If you are anything like me, you will feel a happy glow whenever someone calls your name or you spell it out. It's so easy to spell GreenHeart, just like it sounds! It's beautiful, it's you, it comes from your own expression of who you are. Go for it!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:16 PM on October 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:16 PM on October 20, 2020 [5 favorites]
Oh, and one funny thing that happened, a man that wanted to marry me asked if he could take my name. (Didn't accept his proposal but I was flattered that he would want to take my name.)
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:19 PM on October 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:19 PM on October 20, 2020 [7 favorites]
My mom is one of 4 daughters so I’ve considered taking her maiden name or my Grandmother’s maiden name as a new middle or last name.
posted by raccoon409 at 1:20 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by raccoon409 at 1:20 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Or maybe a compound word that incorporates the word spring? It could symbolize the ongoing resilience of the world that no matter the cold of the winter, the spring always comes, while keeping with that element of health and bravery.
posted by past unusual at 1:20 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by past unusual at 1:20 PM on October 20, 2020
When you say you scoured lists of feminists and relatives, did you only look at surnames? Or did you also look at first names? Because a great surname could be what we think of as a first name.
Another idea: how about including the word "son" in a new last name? I know that might seem strange given your interest in casting off the patriarchy, but that could be the connection to your kids, and you could put it on the end of another word (perhaps a noun?) to make it feel more like a traditional surname. Maybe combine with a hobby?
posted by bluedaisy at 1:25 PM on October 20, 2020
Another idea: how about including the word "son" in a new last name? I know that might seem strange given your interest in casting off the patriarchy, but that could be the connection to your kids, and you could put it on the end of another word (perhaps a noun?) to make it feel more like a traditional surname. Maybe combine with a hobby?
posted by bluedaisy at 1:25 PM on October 20, 2020
How about Ballentyne? It uses your kids' names and it is a real surname.
posted by mareli at 1:26 PM on October 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by mareli at 1:26 PM on October 20, 2020 [6 favorites]
Love your kids' names!
Andrea Heartwood sounds just beautiful to me. (Heartwood as I'm sure you know is the strongest wood at the interior of the tree that give it its varietal character.) Basil Heartwood... good, I think. Valentine Heartwood... gorgeous.
Greenheart is lovely too, but I assume you're asking because you want other options.
Congratulations on your new freedom -
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:49 PM on October 20, 2020 [16 favorites]
Andrea Heartwood sounds just beautiful to me. (Heartwood as I'm sure you know is the strongest wood at the interior of the tree that give it its varietal character.) Basil Heartwood... good, I think. Valentine Heartwood... gorgeous.
Greenheart is lovely too, but I assume you're asking because you want other options.
Congratulations on your new freedom -
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:49 PM on October 20, 2020 [16 favorites]
Enthusiastic vote for Heartwood! Beautiful, evocative, strong - it seems perfect based on your ask. (My mom did this in the early 1970s and it literally changed her life.)
posted by flowergrrrl at 2:08 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by flowergrrrl at 2:08 PM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
I love Greenheart, and Heartwood. What a beautiful idea you have here!
posted by amaire at 2:37 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by amaire at 2:37 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Greenheart is a beautiful name, and if it's speaking to you, go for it!
A friend and coworker years ago had taken the choice name Free. It suited her; maybe it would suit you?
posted by Lexica at 2:52 PM on October 20, 2020
A friend and coworker years ago had taken the choice name Free. It suited her; maybe it would suit you?
posted by Lexica at 2:52 PM on October 20, 2020
Laceleaf is a green plant with heart-shaped leaves and flowers.
posted by teremala at 3:17 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by teremala at 3:17 PM on October 20, 2020
mixing watercolours, green(basil) and red (valentine) will yield a strong black. So, Dre Black? very cool.
Sweetheart is a pretty valentine's associated word, and there's a varietal of Sweet Basil, so Andrea Sweet is kind of cute!
There's also a Cinnamon Basil and a Cinnamon heart, and Cinnamon would be an unusual last name, but a beautiful word and common enough!
Dia dos Namorados is kind of the portuguese valentine's day, and single women hide a love letter in a bush basil plant to pass to a suitor, or I think you can give a bush basil plant with a carnation in it to someone you're already sweethearts with? I'm not 100% clear on the festivities, it's only been briefly mentioned when I'm studying portuguese sometimes! but Carnation is a pretty last name! Carnation in portuguese is Cravo. I'm trying to think of another word for love letter but I'm only really coming up with Valentine ;)
a Nixie is the name for a piece of mail that can't be delivered due to not being addressed or something, so if a valentine found its way out of it's basil bush into the postal system it would end up a Nixie, which is a cute name.
Good luck, and congratuations, this is a really fun idea!
posted by euphoria066 at 3:29 PM on October 20, 2020
Sweetheart is a pretty valentine's associated word, and there's a varietal of Sweet Basil, so Andrea Sweet is kind of cute!
There's also a Cinnamon Basil and a Cinnamon heart, and Cinnamon would be an unusual last name, but a beautiful word and common enough!
Dia dos Namorados is kind of the portuguese valentine's day, and single women hide a love letter in a bush basil plant to pass to a suitor, or I think you can give a bush basil plant with a carnation in it to someone you're already sweethearts with? I'm not 100% clear on the festivities, it's only been briefly mentioned when I'm studying portuguese sometimes! but Carnation is a pretty last name! Carnation in portuguese is Cravo. I'm trying to think of another word for love letter but I'm only really coming up with Valentine ;)
a Nixie is the name for a piece of mail that can't be delivered due to not being addressed or something, so if a valentine found its way out of it's basil bush into the postal system it would end up a Nixie, which is a cute name.
Good luck, and congratuations, this is a really fun idea!
posted by euphoria066 at 3:29 PM on October 20, 2020
Apparently Basil Valentine was the pseudonym for a 15th century German alchemist, so you could consider something gold or transformation related too
posted by Gravel at 4:00 PM on October 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by Gravel at 4:00 PM on October 20, 2020 [4 favorites]
This suggestion might have unwanted baggage, but my first thought was that Basil and Valentine are both saints - Saint isn't a common surname, but it isn't unheard of.
Taking it a step further, Templar has a nice ring.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:51 PM on October 20, 2020
Taking it a step further, Templar has a nice ring.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:51 PM on October 20, 2020
oh, I misunderstood, I thought the kids' names would be changed too, but I guess not. You want something that ties to their first names.
So Basil and Valentine were both saints; Basil was a defender of the faith and later a famous ascetic, and Valentine is associated with love (and it comes from the Latin "valens", =strong.) Both of them were famously brave. Maybe a virtue name would be on point?
Andrea Noble
Andrea Verity
There are also about one million names that loosely translate to "brave". One source I see lists "Barrett", for "bear strength". That's cool.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:36 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
So Basil and Valentine were both saints; Basil was a defender of the faith and later a famous ascetic, and Valentine is associated with love (and it comes from the Latin "valens", =strong.) Both of them were famously brave. Maybe a virtue name would be on point?
Andrea Noble
Andrea Verity
There are also about one million names that loosely translate to "brave". One source I see lists "Barrett", for "bear strength". That's cool.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:36 PM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Can I interest you in one of these?
Groenhart
Grenhart
Grenart
These names and others are listed at this site which will let you know origin and how many people have that name and in which countries they live. It also lists similar names.
posted by calgirl at 8:20 PM on October 20, 2020
Groenhart
Grenhart
Grenart
These names and others are listed at this site which will let you know origin and how many people have that name and in which countries they live. It also lists similar names.
posted by calgirl at 8:20 PM on October 20, 2020
I love this. All the suggestions about are awesome. But for a completely different idea, you could come up with something linked to your profession or expertise. Lots of surnames in English are occupations: Taylor, Fletcher, Glover, Bard, etc. You could pick something that is either related to (but not exactly the same word for) your profession, or think more broadly about what is your expertise, your thing, the thing you are really good at and proud of, and make a name from that.
posted by EllaEm at 8:43 PM on October 20, 2020
posted by EllaEm at 8:43 PM on October 20, 2020
Greenheart is great, you may already have found the perfect name!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:18 AM on October 21, 2020
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:18 AM on October 21, 2020
What about a synonym for freedom or independence, or a word meaning that you're standing on your own? Solo? Autarky? Sovereign?
posted by jabes at 8:27 AM on October 21, 2020
posted by jabes at 8:27 AM on October 21, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by phunniemee at 12:34 PM on October 20, 2020 [4 favorites]