Help me find the perfect screen porch heater

October 7, 2020 9:11 AM

I don't like being cold. And I don't like being stuck at home with no friends. Thus, I need to heat my large screen porch.

I've been looking into those standing propane patio heaters, but putting that on the screen porch seems dangerous.

I could get an oscillating radiant heater, but I'm not sure that'll work on an outdoor porch.

I'm renting so I don't want to mount anything.

Tell me what to buy before everything sells out!

posted by missjenny to Home & Garden (7 answers total)

Would a strong enough electric heated blanket meet your needs? You could get a few, one for you and some for guests, and a big power strip to plug them in to. That's the best solution I've seen so far. But it does mean bundling up your upper body, or else leaving your face and hands cold.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:30 AM on October 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

If this is an outdoor porch, a standing propane patio heater will not be dangerous. A bigger concern is that if the porch is open (screened) on more than one side and the wind can blow through, the patio heater might not be as effective as you might think/like. Instructions for my patio heater make clear that it is not that effective when temperatures are below 40 degrees and/or the wind is above 5 mph. Experience shows that these cautions are accurate.

Also, some patio heaters come with a mushroom-like "cap," which can get very hot. For safety's sake, you will want at least two feet of clearance between the top of the heater and the underside of your porch ceiling.
posted by John Borrowman at 9:32 AM on October 7, 2020

We are patio people all winter, and our primary heating source is electric blankets because most other options are risky. The trick is to sit on it and wrap up in it - getting your core warm is the important part - and then wear a hoodie or hat and dress your feet warmly and out of the wind (I like a cheap dog bed as a mat for my feet, to insulate from the cold ground, and then I drop a cheap fleece blanket over them).

The other thing I've done is drape a table in a blanket and put a lower-wattage (800 or less) space heater underneath, as a very DIY kotatsu table type thing. For safety, I put it on a smart outlet that shuts off after 2 hours. I'm not saying this is the best idea, but I am saying it does a job.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:35 AM on October 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

The Strategist had an article about exactly this thing! https://nymag.com/strategist/article/best-outdoor-heaters.html
posted by purple_bird at 9:41 AM on October 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

Some small-rv-ers use Mr Buddy propane heaters. They have a shutoff if oxygen gets low. They must be placed in a very secure position and should not be left unattended. That DIY kotatsu is a good idea, might try that. And the timer is smart, too.

Screen porch - you want a lot of ventilation, but that makes it hard to heat the space. So, heat yourself with an electric blanket or lap blanket. You can get an electric mattress pad to put on a chair under you, it really keeps you cozy. I would probably use one under or over, not both. Get really warm slippers and wool or fleece socks. Wear long underwear, a fleece vest, fingerless gloves/mittens, a hat. Hot water bottle, and 1 for visitors. Hand warmers. If you expect to stay there for a bit, get an electric kettle for tea and recharging hot water bottles. I use metal hot water bottles or old Scout canteens that I get cheap at Goodwill as hot water bottles; so cozy in bed or the car. Even with the hottest tap water, they help a lot, doesn't have to be boiling. and I've always liked wearing shawls, and have several wool shawls and pashminas that add a nice warm layer.

I live in Maine; good long underwear doesn't have to be expensive. Wool is quite warm, too, down, of course. If I dress properly, instead of my usual bare feet, winter life is manageable.
posted by theora55 at 9:44 AM on October 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I've had a standing propane heater on the screen porch for years. I use it all the time in winter and have never had any problems.
posted by CheeseLouise at 11:48 AM on October 7, 2020

I'm surprised no one has suggested a couple of oil-filled electric radiators. You'd want to turn them on 30-60 minutes before you need them but they give off a great radiant heat and will warm up all the surfaces around them and are fairly electrically efficient.
posted by nenequesadilla at 11:22 PM on October 10, 2020 [1 favorite]