Traveling Home for the Holidays Safely (Pandemic Edition)
October 6, 2020 8:28 AM Subscribe
I'd like to go home for the holidays because I'm really not doing well mentally. Help me do this responsibly. Snowflakes ahead.
I took a part-time job at a college in early February after finishing my doctoral degree, moving to a place where I was a long way from friends and family. I'd be mostly among undergrads, to say nothing of folks around my age starting families. I knew it'd be challenging to make friends, to find community. Then March happened. Everyone knows the story; we've all been living it. I've been alone and lonely to the point that I've been in a real bad way. Zoom calls are great, but they only go so far.
This fall, my school's been in person, and my general stress levels are through the roof. Fold on top of that all the political chaos. I also lost one of my closest friends (not COVID related) within the past week. I am struggling hard. As a part-timer, I don't have insurance, so for as much as I recognize how useful therapy would be right now, I have zero access. (I'm making less now than I was as a graduate assistant, so paying out of pocket is beyond my means.)
I've been talking with my parents, and they're eager to have me visit for the holidays. I'm eager to go. But because I'd be traveling via train and bus—I have no car and can't drive—I worry about safely visiting. I'm planning to quarantine for two weeks after traveling before staying with my family. What else can I do to keep them as safe as possible under these circumstances?
I can understand that some people will say I shouldn't go. If I weren't so concerned about my own mental health, I wouldn't be entertaining the idea. So if I am going ahead with this, I want to know the possible ways to do so. I know there are no guarantees, but I'm not looking for those. I'm looking for better rather than worse.
I took a part-time job at a college in early February after finishing my doctoral degree, moving to a place where I was a long way from friends and family. I'd be mostly among undergrads, to say nothing of folks around my age starting families. I knew it'd be challenging to make friends, to find community. Then March happened. Everyone knows the story; we've all been living it. I've been alone and lonely to the point that I've been in a real bad way. Zoom calls are great, but they only go so far.
This fall, my school's been in person, and my general stress levels are through the roof. Fold on top of that all the political chaos. I also lost one of my closest friends (not COVID related) within the past week. I am struggling hard. As a part-timer, I don't have insurance, so for as much as I recognize how useful therapy would be right now, I have zero access. (I'm making less now than I was as a graduate assistant, so paying out of pocket is beyond my means.)
I've been talking with my parents, and they're eager to have me visit for the holidays. I'm eager to go. But because I'd be traveling via train and bus—I have no car and can't drive—I worry about safely visiting. I'm planning to quarantine for two weeks after traveling before staying with my family. What else can I do to keep them as safe as possible under these circumstances?
I can understand that some people will say I shouldn't go. If I weren't so concerned about my own mental health, I wouldn't be entertaining the idea. So if I am going ahead with this, I want to know the possible ways to do so. I know there are no guarantees, but I'm not looking for those. I'm looking for better rather than worse.
Quarantining for 14 days before seeing your parents is likely very safe -- research suggests that 99% of people infected with COVID develop symptoms within 14 days.
If you're able to obtain a well-fitting N95 or KN95 mask to wear while traveling, that would reduce your risk of getting infected in transit.
The less-crowded your travel vehicles are, the better -- you could try calling the train and bus companies to find out how packed the routes you want to travel are and whether there's a specific day/time you could travel that would be less crowded. Or try flying as JZig suggested, if you can afford it.
posted by mekily at 8:49 AM on October 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
If you're able to obtain a well-fitting N95 or KN95 mask to wear while traveling, that would reduce your risk of getting infected in transit.
The less-crowded your travel vehicles are, the better -- you could try calling the train and bus companies to find out how packed the routes you want to travel are and whether there's a specific day/time you could travel that would be less crowded. Or try flying as JZig suggested, if you can afford it.
posted by mekily at 8:49 AM on October 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
Epidemiologist, but not your epidemiologist, and not in your jurisdiction, I bet.
That quarantine is really the key to keep your family safe. Your own risk depends on where you are and where you are going and how you are getting there. But that 14 day quarantine is perfect, and all you need to do. You could be working without PPE in a COVID ward and that 14 day quarantine would still be necessary and sufficient to keep your parents safe.
For yourself -- wear a mask, wash your hands, try and travel at off-peak hours. The keys are keeping yourself away from small places with lots of people (the opposite of a bus, in my experience, but here we are). A mask is good. I might do some research about mask policies on various modes of transit (a train near me has a mask-free car, please kill me) just to know what to expect.
Safe travels.
posted by quadrilaterals at 8:53 AM on October 6, 2020 [15 favorites]
That quarantine is really the key to keep your family safe. Your own risk depends on where you are and where you are going and how you are getting there. But that 14 day quarantine is perfect, and all you need to do. You could be working without PPE in a COVID ward and that 14 day quarantine would still be necessary and sufficient to keep your parents safe.
For yourself -- wear a mask, wash your hands, try and travel at off-peak hours. The keys are keeping yourself away from small places with lots of people (the opposite of a bus, in my experience, but here we are). A mask is good. I might do some research about mask policies on various modes of transit (a train near me has a mask-free car, please kill me) just to know what to expect.
Safe travels.
posted by quadrilaterals at 8:53 AM on October 6, 2020 [15 favorites]
How are you going to quarantine for 14 days after you travel? Where will you stay, how will you eat? Genuine questions to help you prep, a true quarantine is still defined as staying completely home, not even the grocery store.
posted by nakedmolerats at 9:18 AM on October 6, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by nakedmolerats at 9:18 AM on October 6, 2020 [5 favorites]
WaPo just posted an interactive guide for holiday travel tips. For instance, they say Amtrak now shows you how full your train is up to the departure time. https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/travel/holiday-travel-flights-hotel-tips/
posted by inevitability at 9:22 AM on October 6, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by inevitability at 9:22 AM on October 6, 2020 [3 favorites]
I'm sorry about your friend, and that you've been struggling for so long.
Have you had a flu shot yet? Your school might offer them to p/t employees at a discount, and local pharmacies and clinics are a fallback. GoodRx (US-centric) guide: Here’s How to Get Discounted -- Or Even Free -- Flu Shots This Year; flu vaccination (without a doctor's office fee) are not expensive in general. Encourage your family to be current with their annual shots, too, as a precaution. Keep in mind it takes up to two weeks to build immunity after a flu shot.
As part your plan to safeguard your family, know how you'd access health services during those initial two weeks if you needed to. If you're in the US, please look into the subsized (or free) insurance you'd qualify for at the health marketplace, bearing in mind you'd need to create an account and run through the application to view your specific, discounted plans*; you'd have more options to address your current mental health concerns and to maintain your overall well-being.
*When you're just scrolling through the different health insurance plans in each level without being logged in/having your own figures taken into account, every plan appears astronomically unaffordable. Don't let this initial sticker shock put you off -- that front-facing premium is not what low-income applicants pay.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:38 AM on October 6, 2020
Have you had a flu shot yet? Your school might offer them to p/t employees at a discount, and local pharmacies and clinics are a fallback. GoodRx (US-centric) guide: Here’s How to Get Discounted -- Or Even Free -- Flu Shots This Year; flu vaccination (without a doctor's office fee) are not expensive in general. Encourage your family to be current with their annual shots, too, as a precaution. Keep in mind it takes up to two weeks to build immunity after a flu shot.
As part your plan to safeguard your family, know how you'd access health services during those initial two weeks if you needed to. If you're in the US, please look into the subsized (or free) insurance you'd qualify for at the health marketplace, bearing in mind you'd need to create an account and run through the application to view your specific, discounted plans*; you'd have more options to address your current mental health concerns and to maintain your overall well-being.
*When you're just scrolling through the different health insurance plans in each level without being logged in/having your own figures taken into account, every plan appears astronomically unaffordable. Don't let this initial sticker shock put you off -- that front-facing premium is not what low-income applicants pay.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:38 AM on October 6, 2020
I can understand that some people will say I shouldn't go.
There was a lot of this in the spring, especially here on Ask Metafilter. I think that was probably the right call in most cases in the spring. Scientists and doctors know and understand a lot more about Covid, infection, spreading, etc now than we did in the spring. This pandemic has also been lasting a very long time. It's fine if you go. I'm not saying not to take the precautions you are planning to take. I'm saying... it's important to prioritize your own mental health, and going seems like a very sensible decision.
In the bigger picture: is it possible to get a teaching thing online for January so you can perhaps stay with your parents or at least not live in that town where you're struggling?
posted by bluedaisy at 11:39 AM on October 6, 2020 [5 favorites]
There was a lot of this in the spring, especially here on Ask Metafilter. I think that was probably the right call in most cases in the spring. Scientists and doctors know and understand a lot more about Covid, infection, spreading, etc now than we did in the spring. This pandemic has also been lasting a very long time. It's fine if you go. I'm not saying not to take the precautions you are planning to take. I'm saying... it's important to prioritize your own mental health, and going seems like a very sensible decision.
In the bigger picture: is it possible to get a teaching thing online for January so you can perhaps stay with your parents or at least not live in that town where you're struggling?
posted by bluedaisy at 11:39 AM on October 6, 2020 [5 favorites]
Can you share where your starting and ending points are? Ridesharing might be another option (not Uber/Lyft, but old-school, through listings on Craigslist rideshare or your connections. You might be able to find someone willing to take a COVID test before sharing the ride. Depending on the route/schedule/policies of the transportation company, it may also be a little safer to fly than take the bus. I was considering the train at an earlier point for a trip- if you can get a private room on a train for the whole trip, I think that might also be a relatively safe option, though it sounds like airplanes have better air filtration.
posted by pinochiette at 11:55 AM on October 6, 2020
posted by pinochiette at 11:55 AM on October 6, 2020
This job sounds like it isn't helping your mental health, finances or need for community. Would you considering going home for the holidays and staying there? Like, quit the job...
posted by DarlingBri at 12:12 PM on October 6, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 12:12 PM on October 6, 2020 [4 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by JZig at 8:38 AM on October 6, 2020 [2 favorites]