Help me spice up my (distanced) sex life

September 13, 2020 1:22 PM

I’d like more/better sex in my life. But I’m happy to handle it on my own or at a distance right now. Give me ideas for how to move beyond my standard pattern of solo sex. Details inside.

My usual method is very straightforward:
- a little porn
- a magic wand style vibrator
- plus or minus something insertable for vagina/ass for that “getting fucked” feeling

In normal times, I’d be out dating (both men and women), but I’m okay with not doing that right now. But I’m bored of the normal routine. Please give suggestions for alternative online or otherwise available at home turnons (specific audio/video/text/sites), places to find partners for sexting and/or phone sex, or whatever oddball idea you think might help me expand my self love repertoire.

Throwaway email: [e-mail]

posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (7 answers total)

Heart and Honey subscription?
posted by shadygrove at 1:40 PM on September 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

OMGyes? It's a little pricey but it does features explicit information from actual women on various techniques - for solo and partnered sex.

Oh Joy Sex Toy reviews toys, books, websites, etc.
posted by bunderful at 2:11 PM on September 13, 2020 [2 favorites]

For sex positive, diverse, feminist porn, there's Erika Lust's streaming service.
posted by nightrecordings at 3:35 PM on September 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

How would you feel about trying a cam site like Chaturbate? They aren't my thing, but I've watched enough with a partner to see it's a very different experience than porn. Good cammers are really fucking good at keeping a room entertained and riffing off of whatever weird comments people are making. It can be incredibly hot, or a fun sort of sexy-silly entertainment, or it can be really awkward or annoying or even just boring, depending on what kind of day it is.

(It definitely makes you aware of being a sex work client in a way that looking at porn doesn't. That wasn't a problem for me, and I liked having the opportunity to be a good client by tipping well, but people can also find it off-putting.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:14 PM on September 13, 2020 [1 favorite]

There are vibrators and vibrating buttplugs that can be controlled from afar, if that’s something that would be exciting to you. That requires another person to control it, though (at least to make it spicier than what you’re doing already.) A while back I saw a post on Lex (queer women dating app) where someone was looking for a person to control theirs for a bit.
posted by needs more cowbell at 5:36 PM on September 13, 2020

I'm not eager to recommend anything related to Goop, but the Netflix Goop Lab series does have an episode on masturbation and female pleasure, with the legendary Betty Dodson.
posted by bunderful at 9:41 AM on September 14, 2020

I switched from the Hitachi Hammer of God to the Womanizer Plus (awful name I know). The sensation is entirely different and delightful, without the numbing effect of the Hitachi. Highly recommend! Here’s a comparative review of several similar toys.
posted by ottereroticist at 2:53 PM on September 14, 2020