Protecting myself from my little covidmonster
September 1, 2020 9:34 AM   Subscribe

I've lost a debate, and my kid will be attending his high school in person two days a week. How can we monitor his health or otherwise keep ourselves safe?

I'm pretty well in the bunker, coronavirus-wise, and am low-grade terrified he, his mom, and/or I am going to get it. But I don't think I'm willing to socially distance from my son in our own house for weeks/for months/until they inevitably have to go to full remote learning.

Testing for it seems pointless as a prophylactic; results take too long, and tests would have to be too frequent. And of course a lot of kids/people are asymptomatic, so finding the right thermometer or oximeter doesn't seem sufficient, especially where what symptoms do present will lag behind infection by days. I don't want to seem radical, eat in separate rooms from separate dishes etc. I also don't wanna die etc.

What resources/tools/strategies have you read of/planned to adopt? I guess I'm asking about everything, whether monitoring or how to be in such close proximity. Might be worth mentioning that my kid is pretty obedient/compliant; he won't be ignoring the school's mask and distancing rules.
posted by troywestfield to Health & Fitness (17 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
So, anecdata, but a friend of mine caught it. She wears a mask everywhere and has generally been pretty isolated with her family, but they did take a trip to the mountains, stopped at a gas station, and she thinks that's where she got it. Who knows. She's managed to not infect her family by staying isolated from them after her positive test, and she didn't infect them in the first place because she was getting tested regularly.

IDK where you are, but I would think getting tested every week or two for peace of mind would be good, as long as you can do it. If you give your location, people can probably help you with testing information. Probably your kid would be the one who needs to be tested regularly since he will be the one with the most exposure, but I'm sure someone more informed than me has a better opinion on that.
posted by Medieval Maven at 9:42 AM on September 1, 2020 [4 favorites]


What is the schedule of the two days a week that he does attend school? Is it a Monday/Tues and then rest of the week off? Monday/Wednesday? What’s happening at the school when your child isn’t there? As a teen, does he spend lots of time in his room anyway?

Is there anyone at home that is particularly high risk?

Social distancing with the house would be the most effective at protecting the rest of the family but I can understand how that’s not a tenable solution for you. There are some things I’d recommend implementing but I also caution against potentially stigmatizing your child for his exposure.

A note of good news: I’ve talked to make people who have one member of their household who is sick and they themselves have not gotten covid with proper isolation within the home. I bring this up because it can feel like a spiral and certainty that if one member is sick, then everyone must be. (Source: I’ve been working as a contact tracer and I also have an MPH).

(And I agree that prophylactic testing probably won’t be useful for your family).
posted by raccoon409 at 9:43 AM on September 1, 2020 [1 favorite]


Oh, you could try getting KN95 masks for you kid to wear as they help protect the wearer more (though please don’t do this at the expense of essential workers being able to access them).

If meals are happening at school, ask kid to eat outside with friends rather than in a cafeteria.
posted by raccoon409 at 9:45 AM on September 1, 2020


Are KN95 masks even available, anywhere? I know that shop towel masks approach KN75 levels.
posted by mecran01 at 9:56 AM on September 1, 2020


KN95s are pretty widely available these days. The US-certified N95s are still hard to come by.
posted by Zonker at 10:01 AM on September 1, 2020 [4 favorites]


Is he open to a respirator instead of a mask? A respirator is still better than a cloth or n95/kn95 dust mask. They're expensive, but available if you look. They can be kind of uncomfortable, but not much more than a cloth mask in my experience. I have seen them available at local hardware stores, and non-gougy prices on amazon (PDX, FWIW).

I was worried about this with our grade-schooler (but they cancelled all in-person classes), and ended up building a fully sealed powered airflow respirator that runs of a P100 filter.

It provides air intake through the filter into a sealed blower that is battery powered and then pipes that air into the mask, gently blowing air over the face, and exhausting it through a HEPA filter, protecting others if one is asymptomatic. The airflow is controlled by a simple potentiometer, and the whole thing is powered by a milwaukee drill battery. It is much more comfortable than conventional mask for long-term wear; I have worn it for a full 6 hours just to test it, and it is very comfy. This mask is a hybrid design between air filter masks for woodworking and welding, and some of the masks that Spain and Italy had to emergency adapt for hospital use. Building this one gave me some ideas on how to better make a cheaper version. My son hasn't needed to wear it, but he used it a few days ago for a couple hours. You run the social risk of looking like an extra from The Expanse, so it may be a no-go for some students, especially getting into high school.

Offer goes for you and any other mefite out there that I'll walk you through the parts and build; everything is available readily online and at a local hardware store.
posted by furnace.heart at 10:03 AM on September 1, 2020 [15 favorites]


I would be very adamant about mask-wearing at school, with the student as well as the school. Visit the school as students arrive and depart, this is safe, and you can assess mask compliance. Students are extremely susceptible to peer pressure. Also urge the school to open as many windows and doors as possible; outdoor air dynamics are dramatically stronger than any ventilation system. If your student can have lunch outside, study hall, whatever, that's the best option.

There's some thin evidence that Vit. C might help, so I take it. The recommended daily amount of vitamin C for adult men is 90 milligrams and for adult women is 75 milligrams. It's cheap and virtually no risk. sorry, I lost the cite.

On the advice of a friend, I check my sense of smell every day (when I remember). I find cardamom to be a pleasant, soothing smell, so I have some on the counter. And when I feel crappy and get paranoid, I take my temperature. Yes, you watch and read news and know the warning signs, but print the ones from the CDC and post on the fridge.

I live alone, so I have a basket with flu supplies - tylenol, advil, thermometer, sudafed, cough meds, etc., handy, plenty of ginger ale, tea, and soup, on hand, and a bag with some stuff in case I have to go to a hospital. I figure my odds of getting covid are low, but I did this when things were more volatile, and, you never know.

I would feel as uncertain as you do, I hope there's a parent group on fb or someplace where you can share with others.
posted by theora55 at 10:16 AM on September 1, 2020 [2 favorites]


I've been using the term "plagueteen". Hoping it catches on!

My two high school cousins have been doing in person school for a few weeks now, and apart from drilling them on mask protocol, the other thing my aunt does is set up stations with lysol wipes and fresh masks at every entrance to the house. They're supposed to come in, drop all their stuff, wipe phones with alcohol wipes, change masks and proceed to the bathroom for showers. This is all a little safety theater from what I've read about covid and surface contamination (she's also immunocompromised and extra extra careful), but it serves as a great reminder for the kids as they transition both into and out of the home. "Oh right, got to keep everyone safe."
posted by theweasel at 10:26 AM on September 1, 2020 [4 favorites]


Can you familiarize yourself with whatever contingency plans the school has adopted in the instance that people in the school test positive? You could lobby hard for stringent standards and hold their feet to the fire if they are slow to respond.

You did say your kid is a rule-follower, but I doubt all the kids in his class are. Keep alert to any conversations you might overhear about parties among students. You'll have to decide what to do with that sort of information - lobby your kid's other parent to allow him to do all-remote? Call and inform the principal? Both?

Lots of schools are trying what your son's school is planning, but find they can't control the kids and infections and then have to close to in-person school. I would guess the in-class portion of your son's experience might be the safest.
posted by citygirl at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2020


Best answer: For what it's worth, transmission rates in houses are very high relative to other places but far from a sure thing.

What I would do if I were you is focus on as many low-cost (in terms of time/togetherness) interventions as possible. Being in a bunker is a high-cost intervention, obviously—very effective but you can't see anybody or do anything. The high-cost intervention here would be creating a sub-bunker for your kid. Masks are the ultimate low-cost intervention—at scale they let us go to stores, do all kinds of normal things, while seriously reducing risks of transmission from just passing people we don't know in a hallway, and there's not a big trade-off.

That's the biggest low-hanging fruit, but pick the small ones off while you're there—like, even if a lot of transmission is asymptomatic or presymptomatic, you can still reduce your risk by taking his temperature regularly and isolating if he starts running a fever. (And you can reduce your risk of getting seriously ill from COVID by using a pulse-oximeter regularly.) An air purifier in the high-traffic (and high-talk) rooms of your house won't eliminate the risk, but it could mitigate it. And so on. When the weather allows it, keep a bunch of windows open. (All this stuff is characterized as ineffective in the media not because it won't help you, but because some people want to use it to just go back to normal and pretend COVID doesn't exist.)

Once you've done all those, think about the medium-cost interventions you're willing to make. Maybe you do eat in separate rooms for a while. Maybe you mostly hang out as a family outside.
posted by Polycarp at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2020 [6 favorites]


A social measure that could be helpful is to make sure someone in the family is dialed into the school news/gossip line, whether that's by texting daily with another parent so you can share news, or joining a facebook group, going to the Board of Ed video town halls, etc. This way, you hear of exposures and quarantines long before the official email goes out.
posted by xo at 10:53 AM on September 1, 2020 [1 favorite]


I'm in the boat with you, and we have a 70 year old in the house. It's a tough one. Is your teen going full day or half day? That may make a difference because of not having to eat/use the bathroom. (Our high schools are going back 1/2 days, 2 one week and 3 the next.)

A few more things:

1. Some research is showing that Covid, like SARS, may spread when flushing toilets. Have your teen close the lid both at school if at all possible (I know lots of schools here don't have lids on their toilets which EW) and at home. I disinfect the bathroom a lot; I'm normally a bit like that anyway but right now especially so.

1. a) My MIL uses a separate bathroom and if I had enough, I'd probably designate one just for my kid.

2. It's probably not that helpful but we too are on the security theatre train with the wipes at the entrance, etc., and I'm having my teen change and shower when he gets home, and I do coming in from work as well.

3. We're eating family meals (breakfast and dinner) on our deck for as long as we can, which hopefully will get us to where we can see what's happening at school.

4. I second the 'get plugged into the gossip' advice.

Other than that, I would add...my kids are caring and connected, and so I am also trying to have them do things without making them feel terrible if Covid-19 gets into the house. First, the decisions about school have been adult ones, so they are the adults' responsibility, not the kids'. Second, although I am drilling my kids on masks, handwashing, disinfecting, etc....the truth is everyone screws up sometime, unless they are in an environment 100% built for that like a surgical room. I know if the worst happens both my kids will probably have a list of 'sins' that they have committed in their heads and I want to be sure they know that ultimately, we are a family, families transmit viruses to each other, that's how it's been their whole lives and if it shakes out that way, then it does. We all need to do our best and then it's up to our community and fate.

It's a fine line, but I really feel that they need to understand that the day I let them go back to physical school -- undecided on my younger; for my older he's in a unique program right now --we (all, my MIL had a more-than-equal voice) did decide to accept the risk as adults, and part of that is accepting that kids and teens are kids and teens.

I hear you that you weren't a part of the decision and that's really hard, but I would suggest that for your child's mental health it's a good idea to be sure you stay centered with it, even as you take whatever steps you can.
posted by warriorqueen at 12:24 PM on September 1, 2020 [13 favorites]


One research team, cited at WebMD, using data from China "estimates that more than 19% of people in the same household as a COVID-19 patient, or nearly 1 in 5, can expect to develop the infection."

So, even if your high school kid gets it, it is quite likely that other family members may avoid it. 20% is very real risk (Take 80% times the number of family members to calculate the risk that no one gets it) but it is not an automatic disaster.

Furthermore, while people are most likely to transmit it during the asymptomatic period, catching it as quickly as possible to limit additional exposure definitely reduces the total risk of transmission to family members. So, a quick temperature and pulseOx check plus paying attention to generally feeling lousy should identify when more aggressive measure to separate the possible carrier from the rest of the family make sense.
posted by metahawk at 12:45 PM on September 1, 2020


I'd fill the house with high-capacity HEPA filter air purifiers. Every room gets one and they stay on.
posted by quince at 1:41 PM on September 1, 2020


Best answer: Hi. I have been working in a hospital for the past few months. I have been exposed and did not catch it. Here is what I did:

1) I wear cloth masks with a layer of chifffon. Research shows that combining 2 types of fabric can make cloth masks close to as effective as an N95 as long as they have a tight fit. I make sure it has a nose piece and is flat against my face. I wear it every day, no exceptions.

2) As soon as I get home, I take everything off and get in the shower. I wash every inch of my body, including my face. I also disinfect my phone, glasses, laptop, and charger. I do not rewear those clothes at all, ever, until they are washed again.

3) I wash and sanitize my hands constantly. I always wash for 20+ seconds.

4) I have my own bathroom to reduce the risk of getting anyone else sick.

5) I open a window whenever possible. At home, at work, whatever. You want as much air flow as humanly possible.

6) I don’t do this, but the only thing I might add is to wash my mouth wash as soon as I get home. Research shows it may reduce your risk of catching Covid.

I took this advice from other healthcare professionals who did not get sick. I have not gotten sick.

I think asking your son to perform these basic precautions is the bare minimum you can do in this situation. Good luck!
posted by Amy93 at 3:36 PM on September 1, 2020 [7 favorites]


Best answer: I'd make sure your child is coming home right after school, at least to start. That after school time, hanging about with friends but without formal rules or supervision, seems to be the time most likely for kids to relax a bit, take off the mask, get food, etc. If things go well and you trust your kid, perhaps you can relax on this down the road.

What I would do or not do:

Don't make jokes to or about your kid about being a covidmonster. I know it's a joke, but ... it's not funny, not really, and might make your kid feel pretty terrible if someone does get Covid (even if you don't know the source). Recognize that there is some risk here, but also that some of what you are experiencing is anxiety. It's not your kid's job to manage your anxiety about this. Really and truly. You said your kid generally follows rules and is compliant. That's excellent and should be part of what you focus on right now. The less you joke and make a thing of this, and the more you manage your own anxiety around this, the more likely your kid will come talk to you about concerns and issues they have. If they think you are super stressed about this, they won't want to tell you if everyone takes their masks off (or whatever).

Reward what your kid does well. Focus on the positive. Don't badger or hassle. Be glad for them for the social time they're going to get. When they come home from school, ask about school work, not masks.

Don't have rules that you don't follow yourself. If your kid has rules about handwashing and showering and mouthwash for after school, you need to follow those same rules after you get home from the grocery store (or whatever). Don't start to see your child as a disease vector.

If you trust your kid, don't make arbitrary rules and procedures that are more about safety theater and easing your anxiety rather than health and safety.

Since you are "low grade terrified," I'd really recommend finding a therapist if you aren't working with one already, or talking to them about this if you aren't already. Yes, this is scary. But it sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety right now (all justified!0 and my guess is that it will benefit you and your household if you are working through some of this with someone who you are paying to do so.
posted by bluedaisy at 4:15 PM on September 1, 2020 [14 favorites]


Response by poster: Thanks to everybody for taking the time. A couple of responses, less because I'd expect anyone to monitor this and more in case someone looks at this Ask before posting their own:

The school (system) plan seems to be well thought out, though imperfect. We're being asked to take Junior's temperature every day before school, and to keep him home if he's not feeling well. Masks at school, one-way hallway traffic, no more using lockers ... most of the things you'd hope for, other than going full remote to begin with. Good guidance in the state regarding key indicators that should lead a school to un-open.

Schedule is Monday and Tuesday for the first half of the alphabet, Wednesdays remote for everyone, Thursday and Friday for the other half of the kids. Deep clean on Wednesdays. Pretty much full days. Kids will be encouraged to eat outside if possible or sometimes in the classroom, but they're hoping that knocking the population in half each day will let the kids space out in the lunchroom. There was also a slightly vague mention of plexiglass carrels that would go between kids while eating.

No one high-risk at home.

There were a lot of real smart recommendations here. I've written down the ones I think will work for us, but I'd recommend anyone coming along later read all the responses.
posted by troywestfield at 1:05 PM on September 2, 2020 [1 favorite]


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