Stuffed animal for an adult
August 19, 2020 10:26 AM Subscribe
My therapist recommended that I buy myself a stuffed animal for myself. Do you have one that you love? Where did you find it? I am finding some that are also weighted which sounds awesome but the ones I am finding seem pricey. Any affordable weighted stuffed animals you are aware of?
I didn't have a security blanket or stuffed animal as a child so this whole concept is pretty foreign to me. Am I supposed to build some kind of relationship with this inanimate object? How do you use your stuffie if you use one as an adult? Memail if it's too personal to make public.
I didn't have a security blanket or stuffed animal as a child so this whole concept is pretty foreign to me. Am I supposed to build some kind of relationship with this inanimate object? How do you use your stuffie if you use one as an adult? Memail if it's too personal to make public.
Response by poster: The stuffed animal is meant as a self-soothing tool, either through holding/hugging or petting or talking to it. I have a dog that is very perceptive and basically has made herself my emotional support animal, but the T wants me to have a stuffed animal also.
posted by crunchy potato at 10:43 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by crunchy potato at 10:43 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
here's an affordable weighted black bear toy
looks like the site is 25% off with the code HUG as well
posted by zdravo at 10:47 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
looks like the site is 25% off with the code HUG as well
posted by zdravo at 10:47 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
The Gund Snuffles bear is a classic and was my sleeping bear for many many years. It is very soft, a good size for hugging while sleeping, and good size/weight. You might need to test run a few to figure out what kind of stuffie feels good to hold and offers some comfort. There might be a psychological component where you feel "attached" to it because of what it looks like, so start with things that make you go "aww."
posted by LKWorking at 10:49 AM on August 19, 2020 [15 favorites]
posted by LKWorking at 10:49 AM on August 19, 2020 [15 favorites]
Seconding trying the classic Gund bear.
Having a dog makes it tricky, though! My dog cannot be trusted in the same room with stuffed animals of any sort as he loves pulling out stitches. But you know your dog.
posted by rustcellar at 10:54 AM on August 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
Having a dog makes it tricky, though! My dog cannot be trusted in the same room with stuffed animals of any sort as he loves pulling out stitches. But you know your dog.
posted by rustcellar at 10:54 AM on August 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
Are there any characters you enjoy that might have a stuffed animal version of themselves? Like: Pusheen the cat or Baby Yoda or a favorite Disney character? I have been curling up on my couch in the evenings watching TV while holding baby Yoda. I find that I talk to plushies when it's a character I already know.
posted by ilovewinter at 11:01 AM on August 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by ilovewinter at 11:01 AM on August 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
Gund has all sorts of delightful things, including Pusheens, nth-ing checking them out and seeing what draws you.
I have a stuffed animal, a kiwi bird that a friend gave me years ago. Before I got a cat, I'd read books with Kiwi tucked in my lap, now Kiwi is a fun couch pillow or sits on my closet shelf where I can see it. I've also done some of what I've seen called "voicing the dog" - talking about what Kiwi would like vs. what I / a friend want to do - usually it's playful and silly but writing this I guess it's also a form of low-key triangulation.
My dad has a stuffed animal collection that has now absorbed many of my childhood toys, so I grew up with this being a normal thing. My parents are more Guess culture, so the triangulation was a bigger thing, but pretty gentle, like, "oh, Elmo looks tired, maybe we should turn off the TV and let him go to sleep." It's probably relevant that I and my dad are both likely somewhere on the spectrum and forming attachments with inanimate objects is part of that.
posted by momus_window at 11:02 AM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
I have a stuffed animal, a kiwi bird that a friend gave me years ago. Before I got a cat, I'd read books with Kiwi tucked in my lap, now Kiwi is a fun couch pillow or sits on my closet shelf where I can see it. I've also done some of what I've seen called "voicing the dog" - talking about what Kiwi would like vs. what I / a friend want to do - usually it's playful and silly but writing this I guess it's also a form of low-key triangulation.
My dad has a stuffed animal collection that has now absorbed many of my childhood toys, so I grew up with this being a normal thing. My parents are more Guess culture, so the triangulation was a bigger thing, but pretty gentle, like, "oh, Elmo looks tired, maybe we should turn off the TV and let him go to sleep." It's probably relevant that I and my dad are both likely somewhere on the spectrum and forming attachments with inanimate objects is part of that.
posted by momus_window at 11:02 AM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
Snuffles is awesome! Get Snuffles!
posted by holborne at 11:08 AM on August 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by holborne at 11:08 AM on August 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
I love Snuffles.
I personally got myself a cute stuffed lizard, when I was deep in therapy, to remind me that my lizard brain does not control me. His name is...Eddie Lizzard.
posted by wellred at 11:12 AM on August 19, 2020 [14 favorites]
I personally got myself a cute stuffed lizard, when I was deep in therapy, to remind me that my lizard brain does not control me. His name is...Eddie Lizzard.
posted by wellred at 11:12 AM on August 19, 2020 [14 favorites]
Best answer: In terms of what stuffie to get, I would just fall back on....cuteness and fun. There are little stuffies for everything, and maybe the idea of a teddy bear doesn't appeal to you but a Baby Yoda just is adorable. Or a stuffed M&M just seems so ridiculous an idea it makes you giggle. Or maybe you're a big fan of Avatar, The Last Airbender and a plush Appa reminds you of the show.
That way you can have it just be a decorative thing at first if the idea of developing a relationship with it feels weird; you know, no pressure, it's just something fun to have around the house that makes you smile when you see it. The funny thing is, the more often you smile at it like that, the more likely you are to idly find yourself playing with it....and you may ease into "using it" in the way your therapist is suggesting. But if not, you still have a fun thing sitting around your house that makes you smile, and that in itself is good.
Personally, I still have the Snoopy doll I was given when I was two years old. For most of the year he lives on top of one of my bookshelves - but each year when A Charlie Brown Christmas is broadcast, he comes down to watch with me. I am now fifty years old and I would not dream of abandoning this personal tradition for love or money.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on August 19, 2020 [19 favorites]
That way you can have it just be a decorative thing at first if the idea of developing a relationship with it feels weird; you know, no pressure, it's just something fun to have around the house that makes you smile when you see it. The funny thing is, the more often you smile at it like that, the more likely you are to idly find yourself playing with it....and you may ease into "using it" in the way your therapist is suggesting. But if not, you still have a fun thing sitting around your house that makes you smile, and that in itself is good.
Personally, I still have the Snoopy doll I was given when I was two years old. For most of the year he lives on top of one of my bookshelves - but each year when A Charlie Brown Christmas is broadcast, he comes down to watch with me. I am now fifty years old and I would not dream of abandoning this personal tradition for love or money.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on August 19, 2020 [19 favorites]
There are stuffed animals made to be put in the microwave like a heat pack (so are somewhat heavy with whatever beads? are in them) and some are scented too. One brand: https://www.warmies.com/soft-toys/warmies.html
I see lots of them in stores heading into autumn, not sure if we're quite at the time of year yet.
posted by readinghippo at 11:17 AM on August 19, 2020
I see lots of them in stores heading into autumn, not sure if we're quite at the time of year yet.
posted by readinghippo at 11:17 AM on August 19, 2020
I’m not sure how heavy they feel though I’m guessing weightier than a traditional plush, but I’ve been eyeing getting a warmie for a while, mostly for a self sooth as I fall asleep.
posted by raccoon409 at 11:18 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by raccoon409 at 11:18 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Oh boy, I'm going to sound super cheesy here, but whatever. I'm already on record as being a crouton petter.
In my experience, you don't really pick them; they pick you. You just gravitate. A lot of my favorite stuffed animals over the years were given to me by others - my mom when I was a kid, sometimes an aunt or an uncle, and then generally girls I've dated when I was an adult. I didn't really have any input into picking them, and I kind of prefer that. I have purchased some, both for myself and especially for my kids, and I guess I'd liken it to choosing a pet. How did you find your dog? Did you go to a shelter and see a bunch of dogs in a little room and say "that looks like the one"? Did a friend's dog have puppies? It's kind of like that, except stuffed animals are (supposedly) not alive.
The dog analogy works for how you interact, too, at least for me. You know the old saying "be the person your dog thinks you are"? I try to be the kind of person my stuffed animals (including, for me, ones I no longer have) think I am. They're a reminder to me of who I can be, who I've already been. And like, when things get tough, and I feel like people aren't listening to me or taking me seriously (or worse), they remind me that I'm allowed to have feelings, and that someone, however theoretical, does care to listen.
As I've gotten older, I don't really have stuffed animals around anymore. I have one special one that's in my closet (he decayed and now he's kind of a Hilary Putnam brain in a vat, only in a grocery bag instead of a vat), some were passed down to my kids, and some are still at my mom's house. But like, just like how you can be really close friends with someone you went to high school with even though you don't see each other or even talk very often, I still feel them as like, I don't know, my support structure? Partially because they were with me for such a long time. I kept them on my bed all through high school, took some to college with me (even in my fraternity house!), and had them around for most of my 20s. So they went through a lot of formative experiences with me, not just like early childhood and then done. Or maybe like how people say they still feel their deceased relatives.
I do still have the same pillow that I've had since 1984, and I probably haven't gone a night without it in 20 years. I pack it in my suitcase when I travel. It has become an emotional companion (no, not like those Japanese body pillows) the same way a stuffed animal would. It just... grounds me, I guess. I end every day the same way, by laying my head down on a 36 year old pillow (with a 22 year old pillow case - it's from the sheet set I got before my freshman year of college). And for me, one of my big anxieties is that the world is changing and that the stuff I like won't be around in the future, and the constant of the pillow is a physical reminder that the things I liked in the past are still with me and will still be there. Does that make sense? It didn't start out this way. When I was a kid, I had a bunch of pillows on my bed, and I'd sleep with them all, whichever happened to be roughly where my head was. Over time, I determined this particular one to be the most comfortable, so I slept on it more often, which made it more comfortable, and so on. I've bought new pillows since then, but this one is now so thin that it sits on top of them.
In terms of advice for you, I guess if the goal is self-soothing, you should look for one that's... soothing. Only you really know what that means to you. But like I said, approach it like you'd approach getting a dog. Go somewhere that sells stuffed animals (Target, or TJ Maxx, or whatever), and just look at them and see if any of them feel "soothing". And then just kind of hang around with it. It'll tell you how you should use it. Just kind of trust the process. Hope this helps.
posted by kevinbelt at 11:20 AM on August 19, 2020 [12 favorites]
In my experience, you don't really pick them; they pick you. You just gravitate. A lot of my favorite stuffed animals over the years were given to me by others - my mom when I was a kid, sometimes an aunt or an uncle, and then generally girls I've dated when I was an adult. I didn't really have any input into picking them, and I kind of prefer that. I have purchased some, both for myself and especially for my kids, and I guess I'd liken it to choosing a pet. How did you find your dog? Did you go to a shelter and see a bunch of dogs in a little room and say "that looks like the one"? Did a friend's dog have puppies? It's kind of like that, except stuffed animals are (supposedly) not alive.
The dog analogy works for how you interact, too, at least for me. You know the old saying "be the person your dog thinks you are"? I try to be the kind of person my stuffed animals (including, for me, ones I no longer have) think I am. They're a reminder to me of who I can be, who I've already been. And like, when things get tough, and I feel like people aren't listening to me or taking me seriously (or worse), they remind me that I'm allowed to have feelings, and that someone, however theoretical, does care to listen.
As I've gotten older, I don't really have stuffed animals around anymore. I have one special one that's in my closet (he decayed and now he's kind of a Hilary Putnam brain in a vat, only in a grocery bag instead of a vat), some were passed down to my kids, and some are still at my mom's house. But like, just like how you can be really close friends with someone you went to high school with even though you don't see each other or even talk very often, I still feel them as like, I don't know, my support structure? Partially because they were with me for such a long time. I kept them on my bed all through high school, took some to college with me (even in my fraternity house!), and had them around for most of my 20s. So they went through a lot of formative experiences with me, not just like early childhood and then done. Or maybe like how people say they still feel their deceased relatives.
I do still have the same pillow that I've had since 1984, and I probably haven't gone a night without it in 20 years. I pack it in my suitcase when I travel. It has become an emotional companion (no, not like those Japanese body pillows) the same way a stuffed animal would. It just... grounds me, I guess. I end every day the same way, by laying my head down on a 36 year old pillow (with a 22 year old pillow case - it's from the sheet set I got before my freshman year of college). And for me, one of my big anxieties is that the world is changing and that the stuff I like won't be around in the future, and the constant of the pillow is a physical reminder that the things I liked in the past are still with me and will still be there. Does that make sense? It didn't start out this way. When I was a kid, I had a bunch of pillows on my bed, and I'd sleep with them all, whichever happened to be roughly where my head was. Over time, I determined this particular one to be the most comfortable, so I slept on it more often, which made it more comfortable, and so on. I've bought new pillows since then, but this one is now so thin that it sits on top of them.
In terms of advice for you, I guess if the goal is self-soothing, you should look for one that's... soothing. Only you really know what that means to you. But like I said, approach it like you'd approach getting a dog. Go somewhere that sells stuffed animals (Target, or TJ Maxx, or whatever), and just look at them and see if any of them feel "soothing". And then just kind of hang around with it. It'll tell you how you should use it. Just kind of trust the process. Hope this helps.
posted by kevinbelt at 11:20 AM on August 19, 2020 [12 favorites]
I'm a side sleeper, and usually sleep hugging a pillow. A few years ago I picked up a cat shaped Squishmallow mostly because it looked like one of our (now passed) cats. But now it lives in my corner of the couch - it's my nap "hugging" pillow, but it's also a good shape for lumbar support or neck support when I'm reading. Which, as a child would be heresy to use a "friend" like that, but it's really just as an inanimate comfort as an adult.
Full disclosure, I still have my childhood baby blanket, and it lives under my pillow. I'm a bit shy from 50. I'm a big advocate of doing what you have to do to get a good night's sleep, and that's finding comfort where you can. I'd say to think of something you think you would find comfort in, especially drowsy moments, and go from there. Would a super soft plush blanket help instead? (Because I swear by those for naps too.)
posted by librarianamy at 11:22 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Full disclosure, I still have my childhood baby blanket, and it lives under my pillow. I'm a bit shy from 50. I'm a big advocate of doing what you have to do to get a good night's sleep, and that's finding comfort where you can. I'd say to think of something you think you would find comfort in, especially drowsy moments, and go from there. Would a super soft plush blanket help instead? (Because I swear by those for naps too.)
posted by librarianamy at 11:22 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I was given this stuffed cow as a kid and now it stays in my kid's bed. It's a good weight, and it has little beads in its feet and butt to make it a bit heftier. When I was little and scared, I liked to put its little cow arms around my neck, like a hug. I showed that feature to my kid when she was scared several years ago and she has slept with it almost every night since, and insists that it's hugging back when she does that with its arms. I think I was probably ten or so when it was given to me and quickly found myself reaching for it to use as a pillow to prop my head when reading or whatever. It doesn't have a name or gender (my kids insist its name is "Cowy" and that it is nonbinary). Sometimes if my husband is out of town overnight I snag it back from my kid because I'm a snuggler and it's weird to fall asleep without my arm over my husband.
posted by SeedStitch at 11:40 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by SeedStitch at 11:40 AM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
My security items were dolls and my faves were the ones that came with their personas pre-created for me. So I still have my cabbage patch kids as well as few dolls my grandmother gave me after she had named them herself. The others who came without names I did not attach to. So just something to think about, preference-wise. I like rules, I like someone to set things up for me, and then I feel free!
posted by Tandem Affinity at 11:48 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Tandem Affinity at 11:48 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I love a Pillow Pet for these purposes. I have a Stitch pillow pet but you can get lots of different animals/characters. They're nice and big which makes them perfect for hugging. They unfold into a comfy pillow. (I regularly see adults with them at airports.) I totally watch TV with Stitch while I pet him like he's a dog. I don't really talk to him, but he is absolutely a comforting physical presence.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 11:51 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by goodbyewaffles at 11:51 AM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Agree with the idea that they sort of pick you; case in point: I happened to be in a state park the day I got some bad news and I was definitely in a bad place, emotionally. My husband wanted a magnet and dragged me into the gift shop, and I wandered over to the kids section. I picked a particularly cute bear up and felt how soft and heavy it was, and found myself just holding it. I had no intention of buying anything—let alone a stuffed animal!—but it was so unexpectedly comforting I just had to have it. Anyway, it was this bear and I would definitely recommend; he is indeed very cuddly. That was some years back and I still love that bear; he lives in my son’s room but I really consider him mine.
posted by lovableiago at 11:53 AM on August 19, 2020
posted by lovableiago at 11:53 AM on August 19, 2020
The Warmies are great! I have the Sloth. They are weighted and lavender scented and can be heated in the microwave. And very soft!
posted by wsquared at 12:15 PM on August 19, 2020
posted by wsquared at 12:15 PM on August 19, 2020
Best answer: Am I supposed to build some kind of relationship with this inanimate object?
In my experience, this happens organically; don't worry about it. It happens in the same way people build relationships with their cars, houseplants, or houses - you start to feel a little fond, get used to the quirks, and start thinking it has a personality. You don't have to do anything to make this happen, it will happen on its' own. If you want to try to build the relationship faster, I recommend cuddling your animal while watching movies, sleeping with it, and talking to it. Of course it won't talk back, but your mind will begin to think of it as a conversation rather than a narrative.
The best relationships I have are with my childhood stuffed animals, of course, because I've lived with them for 20+ years. But last year one of my coworkers gave me a little five-inch stuffed bear for a work accomplishment and this thing has such cute ears and bright eyes, it lives on my desk at work and I think he praises me for being a good worker. I'm very fond of the little bear now. This is just to say that while having childhood experience helps you know how to do it, you can pick up a new inanimate friend at any time. Again, it's just like how people like their cars and bicycles, etc, except the stuffie has a face and that makes it work that much better.
Good luck finding your new friend - I think it's a great idea. Or at least, you have nothing to lose.
posted by epanalepsis at 12:25 PM on August 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
In my experience, this happens organically; don't worry about it. It happens in the same way people build relationships with their cars, houseplants, or houses - you start to feel a little fond, get used to the quirks, and start thinking it has a personality. You don't have to do anything to make this happen, it will happen on its' own. If you want to try to build the relationship faster, I recommend cuddling your animal while watching movies, sleeping with it, and talking to it. Of course it won't talk back, but your mind will begin to think of it as a conversation rather than a narrative.
The best relationships I have are with my childhood stuffed animals, of course, because I've lived with them for 20+ years. But last year one of my coworkers gave me a little five-inch stuffed bear for a work accomplishment and this thing has such cute ears and bright eyes, it lives on my desk at work and I think he praises me for being a good worker. I'm very fond of the little bear now. This is just to say that while having childhood experience helps you know how to do it, you can pick up a new inanimate friend at any time. Again, it's just like how people like their cars and bicycles, etc, except the stuffie has a face and that makes it work that much better.
Good luck finding your new friend - I think it's a great idea. Or at least, you have nothing to lose.
posted by epanalepsis at 12:25 PM on August 19, 2020 [6 favorites]
If you don't mind Amazon (obviously there are other places, but it is the best concentration of easily-shipped ones), search "squish pillow" or "hugging pillow" and see if anything calls your name. Sloth? Puppy, shiba, kitty? Baguette (prolly not what your therapist intended)? Unicorn, entire unicorn, narwhal? There are thousands.
Because you have a dog, the actual squish-type stuffies (as in, they are stuffed with little polystyrene beads which makes them squishy in a tactile way; I like them for neck support) may be a nightmare in the making, as those beads never ever ever go away if they get spilled. But I can "tuck in" any stuffed toys inside a pillowcase and hide that among my pillows, or put them on top of the dresser, and they're safe.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:26 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Because you have a dog, the actual squish-type stuffies (as in, they are stuffed with little polystyrene beads which makes them squishy in a tactile way; I like them for neck support) may be a nightmare in the making, as those beads never ever ever go away if they get spilled. But I can "tuck in" any stuffed toys inside a pillowcase and hide that among my pillows, or put them on top of the dresser, and they're safe.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:26 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
They covered the mechanics of things above. More to the emotional effect:
My Raggedy Andy doll - with the fabric-patch face and melted eyes from applying said fabric patch - was an alter-ego. I could tell him things I couldn't even admit to myself.
(Kinda like how you might never go up to a stranger in a bar and strike up conversation, but if a friend says, "man, she's cute" it's a lot easier and go up to her and say "hey my friend thinks you're cute" than to say, "hey i think you're cute.")
posted by notsnot at 12:33 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
My Raggedy Andy doll - with the fabric-patch face and melted eyes from applying said fabric patch - was an alter-ego. I could tell him things I couldn't even admit to myself.
(Kinda like how you might never go up to a stranger in a bar and strike up conversation, but if a friend says, "man, she's cute" it's a lot easier and go up to her and say "hey my friend thinks you're cute" than to say, "hey i think you're cute.")
posted by notsnot at 12:33 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'm on the opposite end of the stuffed-animal spectrum from you, in that I've always had numerous well-loved stuffed animals that had rich imagined lives/personalities/voices from both me and my dad, for as long as I remember. I've carried that into my adult life for sure. I like the Squishmallows suggestion above, and also Squeezimals; though neither of them are weighted, they come in big sizes and are very huggable. But there are a million zillion stuffed animals out there, one has got to appeal to you in some way.
I see you're worried about "bonding" with it -- pick something that already calls out to you, that you kind of want to squish even though you don't know it yet and it seems like just a stuffed piece of cloth. Then name it. Then, maybe, even though you might feel insane doing this, try thinking of it as being "real" and alive, even if it can't move or talk. Try, for example, if it lives on your bed, making sure it's always sitting up and the right way round when you get out of bed, not face-down trapped in the covers. So it can "see" and "breathe"! Thinking of every thing having a spirit or a soul or a something might help here, too. Have you read The Velveteen Rabbit? If not, I'd certainly recommend that, too.
And if it just doesn't work out for you, that's OK, too, part of therapy is trying stuff even if it seems silly.
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:35 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
I see you're worried about "bonding" with it -- pick something that already calls out to you, that you kind of want to squish even though you don't know it yet and it seems like just a stuffed piece of cloth. Then name it. Then, maybe, even though you might feel insane doing this, try thinking of it as being "real" and alive, even if it can't move or talk. Try, for example, if it lives on your bed, making sure it's always sitting up and the right way round when you get out of bed, not face-down trapped in the covers. So it can "see" and "breathe"! Thinking of every thing having a spirit or a soul or a something might help here, too. Have you read The Velveteen Rabbit? If not, I'd certainly recommend that, too.
And if it just doesn't work out for you, that's OK, too, part of therapy is trying stuff even if it seems silly.
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:35 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
I too love the Gund Snuffles bear. But it's hard to beat Squishables for variety. If you are a fox lover I actually have one when I accidentally ordered two by mistake and I'm happy to send it to you!
posted by Bresciabouvier at 12:37 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by Bresciabouvier at 12:37 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
If a particular stuffed animal appeals to you, but isn't weighted, here are a couple of easy DIYs. Intro to DIY weighted stuffed animals and their uses has more. Regardless of innards, keep the stuffed animal out of the reach of your dog.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:40 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:40 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
You want a chonky plushie!
Super soft (velvety), so squishable, just the most comforting and snuggly plushies ever. I'm on my phone but look up the company Plushies & Co, theirs are the best I've seen.
They have different animal plushies. And.... they have a chonky seal plushie that is modeled after an actual adorable seal in Japan.
I own no shares in these chonky plushies but my kids each have one, the cat and tiger, and my chonky seal is on it's way! We love them for being a pillow, snuggling with, petting (again they are sooooo soft), tossing around, and hanging out with; my kids both put them on their laps and rest their books on them while reading.
posted by DTMFA at 12:42 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Super soft (velvety), so squishable, just the most comforting and snuggly plushies ever. I'm on my phone but look up the company Plushies & Co, theirs are the best I've seen.
They have different animal plushies. And.... they have a chonky seal plushie that is modeled after an actual adorable seal in Japan.
I own no shares in these chonky plushies but my kids each have one, the cat and tiger, and my chonky seal is on it's way! We love them for being a pillow, snuggling with, petting (again they are sooooo soft), tossing around, and hanging out with; my kids both put them on their laps and rest their books on them while reading.
posted by DTMFA at 12:42 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Thinking of every thing having a spirit or a soul or a something might help here, too
This is a good suggestion. It's a way of thinking; you can practice with every object in your life. Treat them with respect not just because they're good quality objects you don't want to have to replace, but start thinking about how they might feel. Put the coffee mug down gently, don't slam it, that hurts. Hang up your coat, it doesn't like being dropped on the floor, that makes it sad.
It's a way of thinking that comes very easily to some people and not as easily to others, but as a species humans are pretty good at anthropomorphizing so even if you think it's absurd and ridiculous you have a pretty good chance of teaching yourself how to do it. Thing with faces seem more human to us, and things with humanoid proportions moreso, this is why stuffed animals look the way they do and are so popular. But some people are so good at this they can find a personality in a binder clip. It's a skill--if it doesn't come easily at first, keep working at it.
posted by epanalepsis at 12:45 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
This is a good suggestion. It's a way of thinking; you can practice with every object in your life. Treat them with respect not just because they're good quality objects you don't want to have to replace, but start thinking about how they might feel. Put the coffee mug down gently, don't slam it, that hurts. Hang up your coat, it doesn't like being dropped on the floor, that makes it sad.
It's a way of thinking that comes very easily to some people and not as easily to others, but as a species humans are pretty good at anthropomorphizing so even if you think it's absurd and ridiculous you have a pretty good chance of teaching yourself how to do it. Thing with faces seem more human to us, and things with humanoid proportions moreso, this is why stuffed animals look the way they do and are so popular. But some people are so good at this they can find a personality in a binder clip. It's a skill--if it doesn't come easily at first, keep working at it.
posted by epanalepsis at 12:45 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
Also, in addition to The Velveteen Rabbit, Wall-E and Toy Story are also worth watching.
posted by epanalepsis at 12:46 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by epanalepsis at 12:46 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I didn't address your other question about what one does with a stuffed animal. There's an unconditionalness to a stuffed toy: it is always there, it does not generally turn into something else or act against its nature, it is soft and can be hugged (oxytocin, comfort), you can nurture and care for it and have that care received without conflict. It can also be a place to project a personality that interacts with you in the ways that you need, like reassurance or pep talks or even a kind of defender when shitty things happen or your thoughts are turning on you. They keep your secrets, even the hard or terrible ones, and they don't leave. They can literally support you to sit up or hold on your lap to rest your arms or in the small of your back, and it's okay, they don't mind.
You will find your own ways of interaction. It may feel a little self-conscious at first, and at first maybe all you do it let them be in your space. Maybe at first it's just a tactile thing, a texture to touch while you meditate or try to relax and sleep. Your therapist may intend to introduce some specific types of interaction with it, but you can just start from the position that they're supposed to be comforting, and hopefully get one you find pleasant to look at and touch, and go from there.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:49 PM on August 19, 2020 [9 favorites]
You will find your own ways of interaction. It may feel a little self-conscious at first, and at first maybe all you do it let them be in your space. Maybe at first it's just a tactile thing, a texture to touch while you meditate or try to relax and sleep. Your therapist may intend to introduce some specific types of interaction with it, but you can just start from the position that they're supposed to be comforting, and hopefully get one you find pleasant to look at and touch, and go from there.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:49 PM on August 19, 2020 [9 favorites]
When I was going through a lot of hospitalizations, my mother gave me a stuffed Curious George because when I was a kid I loved Curious George Goes to the Hospital. I found it comforting.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:56 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:56 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
Oh! And remember, it's like any other relationship -- you won't necessarily be best friends instantly. I got a stuffed cat last week that meows and purrs and I already love it, but I don't feel like I "know" him yet? There's no history there yet. I did name him and he is fantastic to cuddle while reading something but we're still sort of acquaintances, and that's OK :]
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:13 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:13 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
This question makes me think of the quote from The Little Prince on how something becomes special to us through the act of knowing:
“I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....”
Reading entries from the Animal Hospital blog might be helpful too for getting into the headspace of how a stuffed animal can be real.
posted by past unusual at 1:20 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
“I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....”
Reading entries from the Animal Hospital blog might be helpful too for getting into the headspace of how a stuffed animal can be real.
posted by past unusual at 1:20 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
It's not weighted, but I was given a Build a Bear by someone who has passed away, so the bear was special to me for that reason. But then I went to one of the stores with a friend and her boys and watched as they built theirs, and it was a ton of fun, something i would enjoy for myself as an adult. You can pick out outfits for them as well. (The one closest to my alma mater used to have college shirts for them, but i don't know if that is still the case.) If you think you might have a hard time building a connection to it, I think participating it its creation might help with that. The bear itself isn't very expensive, but it starts to add up with the clothing and accessories.
posted by BlueBear at 1:36 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by BlueBear at 1:36 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I got my boyfriend one of the large seal plushies and...after I stole it from him too many nights in a row he said I had to get my own. (I was actually considering posting asking how Squishmallow/etc. compare.) We don't really talk to it (her) much, but it's the perfect size, shape, and squishiness for comfort cuddling.
The only problem is that there are some issues with copyright where most of the ones available online are actually knockoffs so the zoo that originally created it doesn't get anything from it. And also sketchy knock off sellers gonna sketch. I bought ours on a whim and had no idea about the back story until later.
We have a bunch of other plushies but tbh they pretty much just gather dust. Big and squishy is the way to go!
posted by anaelith at 2:17 PM on August 19, 2020
The only problem is that there are some issues with copyright where most of the ones available online are actually knockoffs so the zoo that originally created it doesn't get anything from it. And also sketchy knock off sellers gonna sketch. I bought ours on a whim and had no idea about the back story until later.
We have a bunch of other plushies but tbh they pretty much just gather dust. Big and squishy is the way to go!
posted by anaelith at 2:17 PM on August 19, 2020
We have this great little lavender-scented, weighted sloth. Its cute and comforting, and you can heat it in the microwave for extra comfort.
posted by stripesandplaid at 2:48 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by stripesandplaid at 2:48 PM on August 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
I had never been much of a stuffed animal person but this awesome cat pillow was gifted to me a few years ago and I now have a hard time sleeping without it. So soft, huggable, a nice prop pillow, and did I mention it's ridiculously soft? Not weighted tho...
posted by danapiper at 4:49 PM on August 19, 2020
posted by danapiper at 4:49 PM on August 19, 2020
Do you have a local zoo or museum nearby that you like that has an online museum shop? They are all hurting for money with Covid, so I would suggest checking out online shops from some of these places and getting a stuffed animal from there if you can find one that seems appealing. Here is one example, a bear with National Museum of African American History and Culture's Logo T-Shirt.
posted by gudrun at 8:12 PM on August 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by gudrun at 8:12 PM on August 19, 2020 [5 favorites]
oh yeah, museum shops are great. Monterey Bay Aquarium has adorable stuffies and it looks like they're shipping.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:23 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:23 PM on August 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
This is such a great question, and I can’t wait to have time to read through all the answers.
I see a number of people have recommended Gund, which I echo. My favourite childhood stuffie is from there, and I love him dearly. Not sure if all their animals are like this, but mine is mostly stuffed with fluff, except his butt is filled with plastic pellets, which gives him a satisfying weightiness.
For me, a big part of a stuffed animal’s comfort is in its familiarity. When I am distraught, I can take him out and be comforted by the familiar smell, weight, feel. I imagine you won’t have the benefit of this right away, since you’re purchasing it in adulthood, but maybe you could hasten the process a bit by choosing an animal that is meaningful to you in some way?
I think many people also self-soothe with stuffies by fidgeting/making repetitive gestures. I used to do this in childhood by rubbing the satiny binding on a security blanket between two fingers. My beloved blankies are now packed away to preserve them from the ravages of time, but I just realized that I’ve retained this basic gesture as a self soothing reflex — I recently started carrying a smooth stone in my pocket at work that I use the same way.
My stuffies have had different roles in my adult life. Sometimes they’ve lived on my bed, sometimes my nightstand, and since getting a cat they’ve moved
to the closet for safekeeping. Now I take them out when I’m having sobbing freak-outs, basically. I have one friend who for many years carried her childhood stuffies with her to whatever room of the house she was in. (I think they got too old and fragile for this eventually.) She has numerous less-sentimental stuffies all around her house, and I often find we both hug and fidget with them when we’re just sitting around talking. I know people get embarrassed about their stuffed animals, but I think a whole range of attachment is totally normal, and I think it’s great that you’re open to your therapist’s suggestion!
posted by ceramicspaniel at 9:30 PM on August 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
I see a number of people have recommended Gund, which I echo. My favourite childhood stuffie is from there, and I love him dearly. Not sure if all their animals are like this, but mine is mostly stuffed with fluff, except his butt is filled with plastic pellets, which gives him a satisfying weightiness.
For me, a big part of a stuffed animal’s comfort is in its familiarity. When I am distraught, I can take him out and be comforted by the familiar smell, weight, feel. I imagine you won’t have the benefit of this right away, since you’re purchasing it in adulthood, but maybe you could hasten the process a bit by choosing an animal that is meaningful to you in some way?
I think many people also self-soothe with stuffies by fidgeting/making repetitive gestures. I used to do this in childhood by rubbing the satiny binding on a security blanket between two fingers. My beloved blankies are now packed away to preserve them from the ravages of time, but I just realized that I’ve retained this basic gesture as a self soothing reflex — I recently started carrying a smooth stone in my pocket at work that I use the same way.
My stuffies have had different roles in my adult life. Sometimes they’ve lived on my bed, sometimes my nightstand, and since getting a cat they’ve moved
to the closet for safekeeping. Now I take them out when I’m having sobbing freak-outs, basically. I have one friend who for many years carried her childhood stuffies with her to whatever room of the house she was in. (I think they got too old and fragile for this eventually.) She has numerous less-sentimental stuffies all around her house, and I often find we both hug and fidget with them when we’re just sitting around talking. I know people get embarrassed about their stuffed animals, but I think a whole range of attachment is totally normal, and I think it’s great that you’re open to your therapist’s suggestion!
posted by ceramicspaniel at 9:30 PM on August 19, 2020 [3 favorites]
I just today got my Cerberus stuffie from Squishables.com, and while he is bigger than I thought, I lurve heeem soooo much.
I love squishables. I've purchased them for all sorts of friends, every kid in my family, and the kids in other people's families. They are so soft and wonderful. So, if you're in the mood for something soft and weird, I bet they've got you covered. :) This is the first one I ever bought for myself, weirdly enough.
As for me; I have many stuffies. Two, now that Cerberus has arrived, get bed space, the rest are tucked here and there in my bedroom and office, and my oldest bear, which my father gave me when I was born, lives behind glass, as she was carried and loved almost to rags, and she's starting to disintegrate and I'm not ready for that.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 10:44 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
I love squishables. I've purchased them for all sorts of friends, every kid in my family, and the kids in other people's families. They are so soft and wonderful. So, if you're in the mood for something soft and weird, I bet they've got you covered. :) This is the first one I ever bought for myself, weirdly enough.
As for me; I have many stuffies. Two, now that Cerberus has arrived, get bed space, the rest are tucked here and there in my bedroom and office, and my oldest bear, which my father gave me when I was born, lives behind glass, as she was carried and loved almost to rags, and she's starting to disintegrate and I'm not ready for that.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 10:44 PM on August 19, 2020 [4 favorites]
Hey you wanna get fancy? Try a life sized aviary model from Hansa. fo some reason i think holding and petting a mallard on my lap would be soothing.
Side note: so great to see people in here that assigned personalities to their stuffed animals. I thought I was weird because as a child I was DEEPLY concerned that my stuffed animals feelings would be hurt if I didn't take care of them or left them in some place where they weren't visible (like I thought they would feel rejected if they were in my dark closet). I feel normalish now.
posted by WeekendJen at 1:52 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Side note: so great to see people in here that assigned personalities to their stuffed animals. I thought I was weird because as a child I was DEEPLY concerned that my stuffed animals feelings would be hurt if I didn't take care of them or left them in some place where they weren't visible (like I thought they would feel rejected if they were in my dark closet). I feel normalish now.
posted by WeekendJen at 1:52 PM on August 20, 2020 [3 favorites]
Oh also Ikea has a selection of stuffed animals, from small to big enough to spoon in bed.
posted by WeekendJen at 2:01 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by WeekendJen at 2:01 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
Gund's Boswell bear has weighted paws, and when I cuddle him, the weight feels like someone's holding my hand. It is lovely. He doesn't appear to be in production currently, but there are many on the secondary market.
I also like Squishables, especially the food ones, as recommended above.
Lastly, Costco has ridiculously-sized bears at Christmastime, if you want something that will cuddle *you*.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:58 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
I also like Squishables, especially the food ones, as recommended above.
Lastly, Costco has ridiculously-sized bears at Christmastime, if you want something that will cuddle *you*.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:58 PM on August 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
filed under ironic but fuckitanyway
Giant plush microbes including coronaviruses!
posted by lalochezia at 8:02 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Giant plush microbes including coronaviruses!
posted by lalochezia at 8:02 PM on August 20, 2020 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I have a new Toothless Pillow Pet that already makes me very happy, and so far the dog just cuddles him too.
posted by crunchy potato at 12:24 PM on August 24, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by crunchy potato at 12:24 PM on August 24, 2020 [8 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Well first off there's no "supposed to"! I named some of mine but not all of them as a kid, and now I have a few new ones that I never bothered to name but still love having (especially my stuffed squid). Similarly, as a kid I would sort of assign them personalities, now that's not really a factor for me.
These days I mostly use them as fun-shaped couch pillows, essentially. In terms of utility, they are there for me to squeeze if something on TV is too terrifying, otherwise I just like seeing them around.
Do you have any more context for why your therapist suggested this? I can imagine a couple of different reasons - something to hug for self-soothing purposes, something to talk to, something to represent a goal (like a stuffed dog if you can't currently care for one), etc.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:37 AM on August 19, 2020 [3 favorites]