Novels to safely distract from ongoing medical issues?
August 14, 2020 6:13 PM Subscribe
My partner and I have been struggling lately with stressful ongoing medical issues (unrelated to the pandemic). I read a lot, especially when I'm stressed — it helps to take a break from reality, and lets me come back to my problems with a new perspective. But many of the novels I've picked up lately had unexpected plotlines related to our medical issues, so they ended up being triggers rather than therapeutic distractions. Help me avoid this? More details below the fold. (CW: infertility.)
What I want to avoid in a novel:
My partner and I are on our third IVF cycle right now. The first two cycles went poorly. So I want to avoid novels that talk about:
- conception,
- pregnancy,
- birth,
- infertility,
- adoption,
- babies,
- or really anything about parenthood in general.
Bonus points if there are no characters under the age of 10.
I'd also like to avoid novels that take place during pandemics, or that involve fascist takeovers of democracies. (Can't really put my finger on why....)
As an example of what doesn't work: I tried to read The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I think it's the kind of book I'd normally love, and I tried to overlook the kids at the very start of the book. But (mild spoiler alert) when I got to the part early on involving a deliberate attempt at conception and pregnancy, I had to put the book away and cry for a while. I hope I can come back to it after all this is over.
What I am looking for in a novel:
I tend toward science fiction (usually not fantasy) novels, but I also read a lot in other genres. I'm not looking for anything challenging right now. What I really want is a book that's totally absorbing, with a compelling plot and a world that I can fully inhabit while I'm reading it, the kind of thing I can sit with in the evening after work and just completely lose track of time. If it's a series, or a long book, even better — that just gives me more time before I have to find something else to read. My book habit is an all-consuming maw, and I can only go so long before finding another book. But I get thrown easily by bad prose. Shoddily-constructed books that are written to be deliberately compelling, like Dan Brown's nonsense, won't work for me.
To give you a sense of my tastes, here are some books I've read and enjoyed relatively recently:
- The Wayfarer series, by Becky Chambers
- The Murderbot series, by Martha Wells
- The Interdependency series, by John Scalzi
- The Imperial Radch series, by Ann Leckie
- The Overstory, by Richard Powers
- The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. Le Guin
- The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon
- The Secret History, by Donna Tartt
- Spinning Silver, by Naomi Novik
- Version Control, by Dexter Palmer
(I know that some of the books I just listed involve some of the subjects that I don't want to read about right now. But I read them before all this started, and I enjoyed them, so they still give a good sense of my tastes.)
I realize that this isn't a lot to go on, but I don't know what else to say. I'm not very good at describing my own tastes even under the best of circumstances, and I'm not at my best right now. I'm just desperate for books that I can consume safely, rather than sending me off into a tailspin of rage and despair.
Thanks in advance for the help.
What I want to avoid in a novel:
My partner and I are on our third IVF cycle right now. The first two cycles went poorly. So I want to avoid novels that talk about:
- conception,
- pregnancy,
- birth,
- infertility,
- adoption,
- babies,
- or really anything about parenthood in general.
Bonus points if there are no characters under the age of 10.
I'd also like to avoid novels that take place during pandemics, or that involve fascist takeovers of democracies. (Can't really put my finger on why....)
As an example of what doesn't work: I tried to read The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I think it's the kind of book I'd normally love, and I tried to overlook the kids at the very start of the book. But (mild spoiler alert) when I got to the part early on involving a deliberate attempt at conception and pregnancy, I had to put the book away and cry for a while. I hope I can come back to it after all this is over.
What I am looking for in a novel:
I tend toward science fiction (usually not fantasy) novels, but I also read a lot in other genres. I'm not looking for anything challenging right now. What I really want is a book that's totally absorbing, with a compelling plot and a world that I can fully inhabit while I'm reading it, the kind of thing I can sit with in the evening after work and just completely lose track of time. If it's a series, or a long book, even better — that just gives me more time before I have to find something else to read. My book habit is an all-consuming maw, and I can only go so long before finding another book. But I get thrown easily by bad prose. Shoddily-constructed books that are written to be deliberately compelling, like Dan Brown's nonsense, won't work for me.
To give you a sense of my tastes, here are some books I've read and enjoyed relatively recently:
- The Wayfarer series, by Becky Chambers
- The Murderbot series, by Martha Wells
- The Interdependency series, by John Scalzi
- The Imperial Radch series, by Ann Leckie
- The Overstory, by Richard Powers
- The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. Le Guin
- The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon
- The Secret History, by Donna Tartt
- Spinning Silver, by Naomi Novik
- Version Control, by Dexter Palmer
(I know that some of the books I just listed involve some of the subjects that I don't want to read about right now. But I read them before all this started, and I enjoyed them, so they still give a good sense of my tastes.)
I realize that this isn't a lot to go on, but I don't know what else to say. I'm not very good at describing my own tastes even under the best of circumstances, and I'm not at my best right now. I'm just desperate for books that I can consume safely, rather than sending me off into a tailspin of rage and despair.
Thanks in advance for the help.
I was going to recommend Ann Leckie but I see you’ve already read the Radch books. The Raven Tower, her latest, is also very good.
Have you ever read PG Wodehouse? First of all, the prose is impeccable, and secondly, it is screamingly funny. Maybe you need something so relentlessly trivial that it will take you out of yourself. There are a million of them - I like the Jeeves books and the Blandings books but can’t follow the ones about golf, myself.
More in the vein of the books you’ve listed, I recommend recent novels by William Gibson. Maybe Pattern Recognition and later.
Also, you might try things that are classified as YA, but are substantial and intelligent. Dianna Wynne Jones and Tamora Pierce come to mind - since they are aimed younger, there’s not much attention paid to conception and birth.
And if you haven’t read all of Ursula Le Guin, try the rest of the Hainish novels, starting with the earliest ones: City of Illusions, Planet of Exile, Rocannon’s World. Then Left Hand of Darkness (which you’ve read,) The Dispossessed (which does have a scene in it of birth, and continues to discuss raising a child,) and The Telling. Her late YA series Annals of the Western Shore might not hit right.
Sending you and your partner wishes for a good outcome to your efforts.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 6:40 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Have you ever read PG Wodehouse? First of all, the prose is impeccable, and secondly, it is screamingly funny. Maybe you need something so relentlessly trivial that it will take you out of yourself. There are a million of them - I like the Jeeves books and the Blandings books but can’t follow the ones about golf, myself.
More in the vein of the books you’ve listed, I recommend recent novels by William Gibson. Maybe Pattern Recognition and later.
Also, you might try things that are classified as YA, but are substantial and intelligent. Dianna Wynne Jones and Tamora Pierce come to mind - since they are aimed younger, there’s not much attention paid to conception and birth.
And if you haven’t read all of Ursula Le Guin, try the rest of the Hainish novels, starting with the earliest ones: City of Illusions, Planet of Exile, Rocannon’s World. Then Left Hand of Darkness (which you’ve read,) The Dispossessed (which does have a scene in it of birth, and continues to discuss raising a child,) and The Telling. Her late YA series Annals of the Western Shore might not hit right.
Sending you and your partner wishes for a good outcome to your efforts.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 6:40 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Brain Plague by Joan Slonczewski. Awesome world building, written by a geneticist. You'll be at starting mid-series but the books stand alone too, and there is parenting subject matter in some earlier books but not in Brain Plague (the only reproduction/parenting content I remember is about sentient microbes, not humans, and it's pretty general).
Okay, I guess the microbes are *sort* of a pandemic. But very different then our current situation, and some of them are very much friends not foes. So depends on where the line is for you in what constitutes a pandemic-related plot.
posted by cnidaria at 7:06 PM on August 14, 2020
Okay, I guess the microbes are *sort* of a pandemic. But very different then our current situation, and some of them are very much friends not foes. So depends on where the line is for you in what constitutes a pandemic-related plot.
posted by cnidaria at 7:06 PM on August 14, 2020
I came in to say Murderbot, but I see you’ve already read them!
If you’re okay with relationships between adult children and their parents, Drew Hayes’ Super Powereds series is LONG and great fun. It essentially follows an older and a younger generation of superheroes or superheroes in training, but the younger generation are college aged. I think there’s one memory flashback of a mother and young child but I skipped that too for different triggers.
Some funny Connie Williams is pretty child-free - I’m thinking Uncharted Territory and maybe Crosstalk.
I totally agree with the Wodehouse and YA recs - they were some of the only things I could read when I was dealing with extreme anxiety. You’ll need to read plot summaries for each to double check (a few of Tamora Pierce’s books briefly discuss some of your triggers).
Hoping for the best for you and your partner.
posted by bananacabana at 7:15 PM on August 14, 2020
If you’re okay with relationships between adult children and their parents, Drew Hayes’ Super Powereds series is LONG and great fun. It essentially follows an older and a younger generation of superheroes or superheroes in training, but the younger generation are college aged. I think there’s one memory flashback of a mother and young child but I skipped that too for different triggers.
Some funny Connie Williams is pretty child-free - I’m thinking Uncharted Territory and maybe Crosstalk.
I totally agree with the Wodehouse and YA recs - they were some of the only things I could read when I was dealing with extreme anxiety. You’ll need to read plot summaries for each to double check (a few of Tamora Pierce’s books briefly discuss some of your triggers).
Hoping for the best for you and your partner.
posted by bananacabana at 7:15 PM on August 14, 2020
When I read your question, the first thing that I thought of was murderbot, but you've read it. I think our reading tastes are quite similar, based on your book list, and the few I haven't read from your list I'm going to look up. You might like "Finder" by Suzanne Palmer - there are some oblique references to child raising. "A Matter of Oaths" by Helen S. Wright is a older space opera type book that deserves to be better know. I don't think it has any of the themes you want to avoid, but I read it awhile ago. I'd love to recommend "The Goblin Emperor" to you, but there are some scenes with small children, and I can't tell if it's over your line. But I hope you will keep it in mind for later.
For something different, you might consider the Peter Whimsy mysteries by Dorthy L. Sawyers. At some point in the series, the protagonist does get married and there are kids, but they just sort of appear. But I don't think this happens until book 10 or 11. Most of the series he is a bachelor. The 1930s setting is very absorbing.
I've been in your situation and I found it one of the mentally toughest parts of my life. I hope you will find some new books that will help you get though it.
posted by ice-cream forever at 7:17 PM on August 14, 2020
For something different, you might consider the Peter Whimsy mysteries by Dorthy L. Sawyers. At some point in the series, the protagonist does get married and there are kids, but they just sort of appear. But I don't think this happens until book 10 or 11. Most of the series he is a bachelor. The 1930s setting is very absorbing.
I've been in your situation and I found it one of the mentally toughest parts of my life. I hope you will find some new books that will help you get though it.
posted by ice-cream forever at 7:17 PM on August 14, 2020
A bit of a left field suggestion, but what about Jane Austen? Lovely prose, children usually off to the side, if included at all. My comfort read/watch.
posted by freethefeet at 8:28 PM on August 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by freethefeet at 8:28 PM on August 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
God, I love Murderbot. I LOVE YOU, MURDERBOT.
I know you said usually not fantasy, but as a lifelong mostly SF guy, I cannot highly enough recommend Ursula Vernon's work. As T Kingfisher, her Clockwork Boys series is soothingly violent, and to my memory, devoid of babies.
Likewise, if you liked THE SECRET HISTORY, then the Yale-as-Hellmouth fantasy THE NINTH HOUSE should be up your alley. Like Tartt, but with much much more blood and ghosts.
From some years back, Walter Jon Williams space-opera-as-Wodehousian-farce series about "Allowed Burglar" Drake Maijstral, THE CROWN JEWELS; HOUSE OF SHARDS; and ROCK OF AGES.
CJ Cherryh's RIMRUNNERS, but not not not CYTEEN.
Arkady Martine's A MEMORY CALLED EMPIRE is baby-free, as I recall.
Ann Leckie's PROVENANCE is more in the same universe as the Ancillary series, but quieter.
Naomi Kritzer's CATFISHING ON CATNET gave me many of the same feels as Murderbot (I LOVE YOU MURDERBOT), but with pretty much 100% less death count.
Libba Bray's BEAUTY QUEENS, like if Legally Blonde happened on the set of Lost. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Yoon Ha Lee, NINEFOX GAMBIT. Space opera with an immense death count. Great fun.
Ned Beauman's THE TELEPORTATION ACCCIDENT (not, despite the name, SF. it's much, much weirder than that)
Pretty much any of Donald Westlake's comic crime novels (THE HOT ROCK is the first one) are fun, and even his much bleaker Parker novels (starting with The Hunter) under the pseudonym Richard Stark.
I'll have more tomorrow. I swear.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 8:33 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
I know you said usually not fantasy, but as a lifelong mostly SF guy, I cannot highly enough recommend Ursula Vernon's work. As T Kingfisher, her Clockwork Boys series is soothingly violent, and to my memory, devoid of babies.
Likewise, if you liked THE SECRET HISTORY, then the Yale-as-Hellmouth fantasy THE NINTH HOUSE should be up your alley. Like Tartt, but with much much more blood and ghosts.
From some years back, Walter Jon Williams space-opera-as-Wodehousian-farce series about "Allowed Burglar" Drake Maijstral, THE CROWN JEWELS; HOUSE OF SHARDS; and ROCK OF AGES.
CJ Cherryh's RIMRUNNERS, but not not not CYTEEN.
Arkady Martine's A MEMORY CALLED EMPIRE is baby-free, as I recall.
Ann Leckie's PROVENANCE is more in the same universe as the Ancillary series, but quieter.
Naomi Kritzer's CATFISHING ON CATNET gave me many of the same feels as Murderbot (I LOVE YOU MURDERBOT), but with pretty much 100% less death count.
Libba Bray's BEAUTY QUEENS, like if Legally Blonde happened on the set of Lost. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Yoon Ha Lee, NINEFOX GAMBIT. Space opera with an immense death count. Great fun.
Ned Beauman's THE TELEPORTATION ACCCIDENT (not, despite the name, SF. it's much, much weirder than that)
Pretty much any of Donald Westlake's comic crime novels (THE HOT ROCK is the first one) are fun, and even his much bleaker Parker novels (starting with The Hunter) under the pseudonym Richard Stark.
I'll have more tomorrow. I swear.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 8:33 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Seconding PG Wodehouse - not sci-fi but comedy of manners. Here's a sample short story to see if you like it.
For sci-fi some light sci fi humor like John Scalzi's Agent to the Stars. How about "Snow Crash" by Neal Stephenson?
posted by storybored at 8:38 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
For sci-fi some light sci fi humor like John Scalzi's Agent to the Stars. How about "Snow Crash" by Neal Stephenson?
posted by storybored at 8:38 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
As someone who is only now really starting to heal from a long period of infertility and pregnancy loss, I’m so very sympathetic. These triggers just seem to be (and are!) everywhere when you are in the thick of this kind of grief.
One trigger-free book that I enjoyed very much was Sourdough, by Robin Sloan. It’s about Lois, a young woman who moves to San Francisco to work as a software engineer and ends up becoming deeply invested in making sourdough bread with a magical starter given to her by two mysterious brothers. No pregnancies, no children, just a great main character who is clever and strong and determined to make it in the world of sourdough.
I also asked a somewhat similar question a while back about mystery novels.
Best of luck to you and your husband.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:51 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
One trigger-free book that I enjoyed very much was Sourdough, by Robin Sloan. It’s about Lois, a young woman who moves to San Francisco to work as a software engineer and ends up becoming deeply invested in making sourdough bread with a magical starter given to her by two mysterious brothers. No pregnancies, no children, just a great main character who is clever and strong and determined to make it in the world of sourdough.
I also asked a somewhat similar question a while back about mystery novels.
Best of luck to you and your husband.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:51 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Also, if you’re looking for ways to vet TV shows and movies (and a few books) for fertility/reproduction-related triggers, the “childbirth,” “miscarriage,” “abortion” and “pregnant woman [sic] dies” pages of the trigger alert website Does the Dog Die may be helpful.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:04 PM on August 14, 2020
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:04 PM on August 14, 2020
Response by poster: Thank you! A lot of suggestions here are new to me. Definitely going to check out Wodehouse and most of the others too.
whisper_robin: yes, actually, I just read The Maltese Falcon a few months back and it was great. Thanks for the reminder to find more Chandler.
Lawn Beaver: I love Gibson and should probably find the few of his I haven't read. And I've read nearly all of the Le Guin you suggested. The rest are all new to me, thanks!
bananacabana: I love Connie Willis, and you've just reminded me that I have Crosstalk on my shelf but I haven't actually read it.
ice-cream forever: I've never read any of the books you suggested, but my mother is a huge fan of the Lord Wimsey books and I could probably borrow them from her.
ivan ivanych samovar: the only one you mentioned that I've read is Provenance, which was great. I'll be sure to check out the rest, thank you for the long list!
storybored: Scalzi is great, I'll try Agent to the Stars. And thanks for the Wodehouse short story! But I'm afraid I loathe Stephenson (and I have read Snow Crash).
hurdy gurdy girl: thanks for the Sloan suggestion, I read Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore a while back and enjoyed it. Your thread is also very helpful — I'm not huge on mysteries, but they can definitely be fun. And I didn't know about Does the Dog Die, that will be very useful for both me and my partner.
Thanks all for the sympathy too. Those of you who have been through this, I hope your situations resolved well.
And please keep those recommendations coming! ivan ivanych, I hope you meant it when you said you'd have more tomorrow....
posted by Harvey Manfrenjensenden at 9:43 PM on August 14, 2020 [3 favorites]
whisper_robin: yes, actually, I just read The Maltese Falcon a few months back and it was great. Thanks for the reminder to find more Chandler.
Lawn Beaver: I love Gibson and should probably find the few of his I haven't read. And I've read nearly all of the Le Guin you suggested. The rest are all new to me, thanks!
bananacabana: I love Connie Willis, and you've just reminded me that I have Crosstalk on my shelf but I haven't actually read it.
ice-cream forever: I've never read any of the books you suggested, but my mother is a huge fan of the Lord Wimsey books and I could probably borrow them from her.
ivan ivanych samovar: the only one you mentioned that I've read is Provenance, which was great. I'll be sure to check out the rest, thank you for the long list!
storybored: Scalzi is great, I'll try Agent to the Stars. And thanks for the Wodehouse short story! But I'm afraid I loathe Stephenson (and I have read Snow Crash).
hurdy gurdy girl: thanks for the Sloan suggestion, I read Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore a while back and enjoyed it. Your thread is also very helpful — I'm not huge on mysteries, but they can definitely be fun. And I didn't know about Does the Dog Die, that will be very useful for both me and my partner.
Thanks all for the sympathy too. Those of you who have been through this, I hope your situations resolved well.
And please keep those recommendations coming! ivan ivanych, I hope you meant it when you said you'd have more tomorrow....
posted by Harvey Manfrenjensenden at 9:43 PM on August 14, 2020 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: (whisper_robin, I just realized that I confused Chandler with Hammett, whoops. But a close friend has been imploring me to read Pratchett for years, maybe it's time to get around to that.)
posted by Harvey Manfrenjensenden at 9:47 PM on August 14, 2020
posted by Harvey Manfrenjensenden at 9:47 PM on August 14, 2020
Naomi Novik also wrote the 7 or 8 book Temeraire series beginning with His Majesty's Dragon, which features a few hatchings, but no births as I recall, and is lively, extremely well-imagined, and funny. I only read the first five or so.
posted by jamjam at 9:53 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by jamjam at 9:53 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
What about Tana French? The Likeness definitely has no kids.
posted by slidell at 2:14 PM on August 15, 2020
posted by slidell at 2:14 PM on August 15, 2020
I loved The Likeness, but It definitely blindsided me when I read it; it would have triggered me badly when I was where OP was.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:12 PM on August 15, 2020
[Click for spoiler]
one of the major plot points revolves around the revelation of a secret pregnancy partway through the book.posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:12 PM on August 15, 2020
AH you're right! I forgot about that; don't read The Likeness, OP. Sorry!
posted by slidell at 5:42 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by slidell at 5:42 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Have you read Hank Green's An Absolutely Remarkable Thing? The sequel is also great.
posted by guster4lovers at 11:10 AM on August 16, 2020
posted by guster4lovers at 11:10 AM on August 16, 2020
« Older Sprintec vs Tri-Lo-Sprintec Birth control. Is... | Can one "qualify" with a pistol in 30 days with no... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
I don't have a ton of suggestions off the top of my head here but I'd recommend without reservation any Raymond Chandler if you haven't already devoured them. Simenon's Inspector Maigret did the trick for me but I couldn't guarantee that the odd pregnancy/childhood plot doesn't come up in some of them. Maybe a quick wikipedia vetting would work? Same thing for Terry Pratchett but I can say "Guards! Guards!" (but avoid "The Nightwatch"!)
Good luck!
posted by whisper_robin at 6:36 PM on August 14, 2020 [1 favorite]