Business negotiation and the unfortunate need for cunning and guile
August 8, 2020 10:05 PM Subscribe
My work (land consulting) is changing fast with larger, messier contracts (area and $). This is the result of a lot of networking. The people side too is more complicated. Some of this is irksome (I've never liked the games people play) but successful agreements (and my fee!) make it worthwhile. I act well but am inherently asocial so group things (mostly) feel like a conscious(and tiring) act - INTJ is part of me. So I'm looking for media on taking listening, watching and talking to the next level.
Anonymous as my real name on my profile is publicly viewable and I'm being open about the real me in my business context.
I'm becoming freer to be more selective with clients. I also screen clients (investigate/interview and subtle tests), and my network warns me about people. But another class of jobs is historic situations I'm brought in to (e.g. large multi-stakeholder/different viewpoints and land conflicts). Also some managers have other agendas neither in my (or their employers') interest - I have one now where I know of their hidden activity but do not know how to utilise this.
I've learned (and use) NLP, read widely (and worked those ideas in). I have much speaking and group-work experience plus some industrial facilitation training. Currently reading Getting to Yes which is amazing as it explores very hard situations.
But I would like to read more good books, I'm also open to academic papers, articles on difficult meetings and videos of face-to-face meetings (if such exist), even if they are set up and narrated Allan Pease style (but not Allan Pease please!). Most USian books don't work as authors push their own very USian views on democracy and belief, which pulls me out of the narrative.
Things that resonate with me include:
Sue Knight as my main way in to NLP as I like her style. Janine Driver's You Say More Than You Think (which dramatically raised my confidence - I have huge hands and never knew what to do with them until Janine showed me how, along with many other things).
Proboscis which is a holistic social consultancy who's approach works for me. Basically real solutions for working class communities using art (in the broadest sense) as a bridge.
I never wanted my Q to be this long.
I'm becoming freer to be more selective with clients. I also screen clients (investigate/interview and subtle tests), and my network warns me about people. But another class of jobs is historic situations I'm brought in to (e.g. large multi-stakeholder/different viewpoints and land conflicts). Also some managers have other agendas neither in my (or their employers') interest - I have one now where I know of their hidden activity but do not know how to utilise this.
I've learned (and use) NLP, read widely (and worked those ideas in). I have much speaking and group-work experience plus some industrial facilitation training. Currently reading Getting to Yes which is amazing as it explores very hard situations.
But I would like to read more good books, I'm also open to academic papers, articles on difficult meetings and videos of face-to-face meetings (if such exist), even if they are set up and narrated Allan Pease style (but not Allan Pease please!). Most USian books don't work as authors push their own very USian views on democracy and belief, which pulls me out of the narrative.
Things that resonate with me include:
Sue Knight as my main way in to NLP as I like her style. Janine Driver's You Say More Than You Think (which dramatically raised my confidence - I have huge hands and never knew what to do with them until Janine showed me how, along with many other things).
Proboscis which is a holistic social consultancy who's approach works for me. Basically real solutions for working class communities using art (in the broadest sense) as a bridge.
I never wanted my Q to be this long.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz.
posted by neushoorn at 11:48 PM on August 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by neushoorn at 11:48 PM on August 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
I've personally found business books aimed at interpersonal relations to be better than books actually claiming to be about interpersonal relations.
I don't think I have anything to recommend, I don't recall seeing anything on USian views on democracy and belief in such books, but I live in the US so I probably wouldn't have noticed. But browsing the business section of your favorite bookstore will probably find you a few useful books.
posted by yohko at 6:42 PM on August 10, 2020
I don't think I have anything to recommend, I don't recall seeing anything on USian views on democracy and belief in such books, but I live in the US so I probably wouldn't have noticed. But browsing the business section of your favorite bookstore will probably find you a few useful books.
posted by yohko at 6:42 PM on August 10, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by McNulty at 10:26 PM on August 8, 2020