Abandoning distance learning
July 2, 2020 11:10 AM Subscribe
Looking for... validation? permission? approval? of my family's approach to schoolwork during the pandemic. We seem to be far from the mainstream, so I'm looking for a reality check.
Background: we're in the UK, managing just fine on one income (spouse is working, I've paused my self-employed business for now). Child is 6, nearly 7. He reads well, has a huge general knowledge, is fairly articulate, getting on fine at school except that his teachers have a terrible time persuading him to write (he can do it, just won't, or will do the absolute minimum). And since his school closed we've had no more success with this than they did.
For the first six or so weeks of "school at home" he was happy to look at the school website, do the assigned work, and we'd take photos of the best bits to send his teacher. He doesn't have any online lessons, or direct contact with the teacher - it's all worksheets to be downloaded from the website. There isn't much feedback on the work, though the teacher gives general comments. It's a good school in an area with lots of poverty, and I know the teachers are working really hard ensuring that the most vulnerable kids are OK, especially now that some classes have returned to school.
After a couple of months, the power struggles started - he became unwilling to do any writing, I shouted, child shouted, spouse shouted, everyone was miserable. We persisted for a couple of weeks but it was making everyone unhappy - so we just stopped engaging with the work on the school website. And now things are kind of great - we go on long walks, listen to audiobooks, play computer games (some educational, some not), watch TV, talk about stuff, have ideas, come up with projects, plan what we'll do when lockdown is eased. Initially, spouse was unsure about this, but spouse was in charge of home learning for a week, realised how hard it was, and is now on board...
This doesn't feel like a straightforward choice to make, though - should we insist that he does his schoolwork, as he mustn't learn that he can just do what he likes at all times? Will he come out of this spoiled and even more unwilling to write at school? He's generally pretty motivated, knows why he goes to school, and does well when he's there (except his teacher is frustrated by his unwillingness to present written evidence of his ideas).
My overriding thought is that this is a very strange time, and in the grand scheme of things he will benefit more from prioritising mental health over schoolwork, and in any case he may be learning just as much by hanging out with me (and, in time, other family members) as he would by doing his schoolwork on his own.
But all the stuff in the news about kids falling behind, and all the posts on networks like Mumsnet saying "OMG you have to make them do it, or their education will suffer and they will never learn discipline!" really bother me. I don't have the self-confidence to proceed with this decision happily and just relax. It doesn't help that I'm aware I'm in a very privileged position in that I'm not trying to juggle all this with work. Help?
Background: we're in the UK, managing just fine on one income (spouse is working, I've paused my self-employed business for now). Child is 6, nearly 7. He reads well, has a huge general knowledge, is fairly articulate, getting on fine at school except that his teachers have a terrible time persuading him to write (he can do it, just won't, or will do the absolute minimum). And since his school closed we've had no more success with this than they did.
For the first six or so weeks of "school at home" he was happy to look at the school website, do the assigned work, and we'd take photos of the best bits to send his teacher. He doesn't have any online lessons, or direct contact with the teacher - it's all worksheets to be downloaded from the website. There isn't much feedback on the work, though the teacher gives general comments. It's a good school in an area with lots of poverty, and I know the teachers are working really hard ensuring that the most vulnerable kids are OK, especially now that some classes have returned to school.
After a couple of months, the power struggles started - he became unwilling to do any writing, I shouted, child shouted, spouse shouted, everyone was miserable. We persisted for a couple of weeks but it was making everyone unhappy - so we just stopped engaging with the work on the school website. And now things are kind of great - we go on long walks, listen to audiobooks, play computer games (some educational, some not), watch TV, talk about stuff, have ideas, come up with projects, plan what we'll do when lockdown is eased. Initially, spouse was unsure about this, but spouse was in charge of home learning for a week, realised how hard it was, and is now on board...
This doesn't feel like a straightforward choice to make, though - should we insist that he does his schoolwork, as he mustn't learn that he can just do what he likes at all times? Will he come out of this spoiled and even more unwilling to write at school? He's generally pretty motivated, knows why he goes to school, and does well when he's there (except his teacher is frustrated by his unwillingness to present written evidence of his ideas).
My overriding thought is that this is a very strange time, and in the grand scheme of things he will benefit more from prioritising mental health over schoolwork, and in any case he may be learning just as much by hanging out with me (and, in time, other family members) as he would by doing his schoolwork on his own.
But all the stuff in the news about kids falling behind, and all the posts on networks like Mumsnet saying "OMG you have to make them do it, or their education will suffer and they will never learn discipline!" really bother me. I don't have the self-confidence to proceed with this decision happily and just relax. It doesn't help that I'm aware I'm in a very privileged position in that I'm not trying to juggle all this with work. Help?
I'm not a parent, just an ex-difficult student, but to me the important thing is not conveying Adherence to the Structure In Itself so much as You Need to Keep Learning Because It's Both Good for You and Fun. The former is an external locus of discipline that's bound to be rebelled against; the latter is at least semi-internal, which is what a grown person with a worthwhile mind needs to have anyway. There's a medium between "doesn't do his schoolwork" and "does what he likes at all times." There are a decent number of homeschoolers and unschoolers in the U.S. who aren't religious nuts, but rather find that the structure of the school doesn't work for their child. Maybe you want to look into some of their curriculums.
posted by praemunire at 11:18 AM on July 2, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 11:18 AM on July 2, 2020 [10 favorites]
In lots of countries kids don't start formal education until they're 7 so at his age I would be much less worried about missing out. It's possible that he may be a little behind some children when he's back in school, or in fact his whole class may be behind. But it will be easier to catch up when you have the routine of school and peer pressure to encourage him to do work.
It sounds like you are doing this sort of thing anyway, but if you are really worried, try and make some of your activities cover a range of educational skills - practising fine and gross motor skills with sports and crafts, weighing and measuring in the kitchen or by playing the water, stories and reading and making up your own stories, learning about things that he is interested. There are only 3 or so more weeks of term left in any case but you could keep doing this sort of thing all through the summer.
posted by plonkee at 11:18 AM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
It sounds like you are doing this sort of thing anyway, but if you are really worried, try and make some of your activities cover a range of educational skills - practising fine and gross motor skills with sports and crafts, weighing and measuring in the kitchen or by playing the water, stories and reading and making up your own stories, learning about things that he is interested. There are only 3 or so more weeks of term left in any case but you could keep doing this sort of thing all through the summer.
posted by plonkee at 11:18 AM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
- Mumsnet is a cesspool. Ignore them (about everything).
- There's what, 2 weeks to go in the UK school year? Given that, this is a point of principle about work ethic and obedience, rather than a period that is going to make any practical difference to a child's education.
- I think people who relish winning arguments about things that barely matter in order to teach discipline should get a dog rather than practice on a 6 year old.
posted by caek at 11:21 AM on July 2, 2020 [14 favorites]
We had a lot of the same issues with my 9 year old, and both my boys were recalcitrant about writing in school.*
Our approach when school was in session to have our 9 year old come up with an alternate activity that taught the same skill. So if the worksheet was around multiplication, if you were mastering that, it was fine. After a while, we gave up on the stuff from school because it was terrible. You have my permission to give up.
The discipline question is not really a thing...it's a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC, when was the last time you read about kids being absolutely ruined in their ability to focus by having to go underground during bombings in English? It will be okay. They are learning other skills that are not yet apparent.
* Writing was/is harder. I learned from my eldest, who is 14, smart as a whip, and a terrible writer mechanically and to some extent overall although being able to type has helped, that the method our particular schools used - a LOT of "write about your life/your responses/your thinking on this problem" - was bad. I have them write recipes and instructions now and things are getting better. We are in writing boot camp this summer.
posted by warriorqueen at 11:23 AM on July 2, 2020 [7 favorites]
Our approach when school was in session to have our 9 year old come up with an alternate activity that taught the same skill. So if the worksheet was around multiplication, if you were mastering that, it was fine. After a while, we gave up on the stuff from school because it was terrible. You have my permission to give up.
The discipline question is not really a thing...it's a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC, when was the last time you read about kids being absolutely ruined in their ability to focus by having to go underground during bombings in English? It will be okay. They are learning other skills that are not yet apparent.
* Writing was/is harder. I learned from my eldest, who is 14, smart as a whip, and a terrible writer mechanically and to some extent overall although being able to type has helped, that the method our particular schools used - a LOT of "write about your life/your responses/your thinking on this problem" - was bad. I have them write recipes and instructions now and things are getting better. We are in writing boot camp this summer.
posted by warriorqueen at 11:23 AM on July 2, 2020 [7 favorites]
I'm a teacher *and* a former reluctant student. What you are doing now sounds honestly really lovely and appropriate for your child's age (six-almost-seven is so young!). This is a miserable time for power struggles.
Make sure he keeps learning (audiobooks, games, and chatting are great for that!), and encourage him to try things that are challenging or new. You're doing fine.
(As far as the writing: is he willing to dictate (a story, an opinion, etc.) to you while you do the actual writing part? That could be a stepping stone, especially if part of the issue is about motor skills or something else physical.)
posted by goodbyewaffles at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2020 [5 favorites]
Make sure he keeps learning (audiobooks, games, and chatting are great for that!), and encourage him to try things that are challenging or new. You're doing fine.
(As far as the writing: is he willing to dictate (a story, an opinion, etc.) to you while you do the actual writing part? That could be a stepping stone, especially if part of the issue is about motor skills or something else physical.)
posted by goodbyewaffles at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2020 [5 favorites]
This sounds very similar to our experience (kids 9 and 13). We gave up about a month before school ended, because the boredom, zoom fatigue, conflict, and stress was not worth it and we felt they were learning almost nothing anyway. They are both bright and not behind in any subject, so we weren't too worried academically. I think that was 100% the right choice for our family. And honestly we both work full time so our kids don't get a lot of attention from us during most work days. Without school they have had to devise other activities to keep busy (now it is summer holiday anyway). They still do chores and have some limits on screen time, so they don't get to do whatever they want.
Your situation sounds a lot better than ours, in that your business is on pause and you can spend lots of time doing other things with your kid that are enjoyable. I bet your kid is learning other, non-school things during this experience. And regardless, props to you for prioritizing his mental health during what is definitely a really strange time.
I sometimes feel like no matter what choice parents make, there is this ubiquitous parent guilt that is reinforced by problematic cultural discourses and other parents who are also trying to reassure themselves that their choices are "correct". This is extra true for moms. Almost all of the time, there is no "correct" choice that applies to everyone. Do what feels best for you and your family, and I'm sure your kid will be totally fine! Fwiw this internet stranger strongly approves of your decision.
posted by DTMFA at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
Your situation sounds a lot better than ours, in that your business is on pause and you can spend lots of time doing other things with your kid that are enjoyable. I bet your kid is learning other, non-school things during this experience. And regardless, props to you for prioritizing his mental health during what is definitely a really strange time.
I sometimes feel like no matter what choice parents make, there is this ubiquitous parent guilt that is reinforced by problematic cultural discourses and other parents who are also trying to reassure themselves that their choices are "correct". This is extra true for moms. Almost all of the time, there is no "correct" choice that applies to everyone. Do what feels best for you and your family, and I'm sure your kid will be totally fine! Fwiw this internet stranger strongly approves of your decision.
posted by DTMFA at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
We did pretty much the same thing you've done (my kids are 8.5 and barely 7). Our school sent home three weeks' worth of packets in March, then switched to online schedules and worksheets, which we did dutifully for a few weeks, until the kids started resisting more and my spouse had to be gone for work more and more, at which point we stopped. The only thing we stuck to pretty consistently was the full-class weekly meeting over Zoom, which was usually chatting and being read a book or doing a drawing together. They still use the apps through the school website for their limited tablet time, they read voraciously, they play imaginative made-up games all day, we find new things to learn about together (parts of plants! why is that bee so tiny, is it a baby or a different kind of teeny bug? what are the steps to clean up this giant mess you've made with all the toys? how do you make fruit salad?). It's summer now, and their days don't really look any different than they did a few weeks ago, to be frank.
Their teachers fully expect some kids to have done every single assignment and some kids to have done zero of them and will do their best to meet each kid where they are once school starts up again. I try to be mindful that my kids will remember this time as easygoing and fun, rather than full of fights to do worksheets.
I was talking to another parent (a pediatrician, actually) and found out her family was doing the same thing we did, and she laughed and said she was relieved to hear our family was doing no schoolwork, what with my husband being on the PTA and us very active in the school community. I'm guessing there are plenty of us out there who have abandoned the plans.
posted by SeedStitch at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
Their teachers fully expect some kids to have done every single assignment and some kids to have done zero of them and will do their best to meet each kid where they are once school starts up again. I try to be mindful that my kids will remember this time as easygoing and fun, rather than full of fights to do worksheets.
I was talking to another parent (a pediatrician, actually) and found out her family was doing the same thing we did, and she laughed and said she was relieved to hear our family was doing no schoolwork, what with my husband being on the PTA and us very active in the school community. I'm guessing there are plenty of us out there who have abandoned the plans.
posted by SeedStitch at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
We used to make booklets about favorite subjects. They had drawings, photocopies and some written work. I did some and B.Jr. did some. Greek myths led to drawings of ancient Greek houses, a dinner party with menu and costumed photos. Fold computer paper in half, fill the pages, make a cover and sew or staple (needs a long arm stapler.)
One thing I think her school did very well was allow them to begin writing without any corrections. The grammar, spelling and letter forms weren't even commented on until a later grade. She became a very fluent writer although the spelling remains a bit shaky.
I wish I had thought of more ways to help with memorizing math facts as the school did a very poor, even negligent job there.
posted by Botanizer at 11:38 AM on July 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
One thing I think her school did very well was allow them to begin writing without any corrections. The grammar, spelling and letter forms weren't even commented on until a later grade. She became a very fluent writer although the spelling remains a bit shaky.
I wish I had thought of more ways to help with memorizing math facts as the school did a very poor, even negligent job there.
posted by Botanizer at 11:38 AM on July 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
I think you sound like wonderful parents, which is a huge boost to any kid.
posted by sallybrown at 11:40 AM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 11:40 AM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
A follow-on from goodbyewaffles' suggestion of dictation: you might try using a speech-to-text app? He might just enjoy telling a story to you and having it written for him. Otter.ai is free for up to 10 hours (runs on phone and/or on computer); it doesn't get everything right but it's pretty good.
posted by anadem at 11:46 AM on July 2, 2020
posted by anadem at 11:46 AM on July 2, 2020
Kudos. You lasted far longer than I did with the distance learning worksheet churn for our 7 year old. I came to the same conclusion that you did and transitioned her to more "activity based" learning rather than worksheets. So, we would count change, calculate time (as in when will it be 3pm so I can have a snack), play outside, etc. Isn't that what we did in childhood? I don't remember endless pages of worksheets and I see now that they are a substitute for the actual learning of the thing. We did hold the line, though, on handwriting and reading because that could regress easily if not managed. Otherwise, she was on her own for play and tried out architecture with cardboard boxes, fashion design (cutting up an old t-shirt for her Barbie doll), and psychology (tormenting her brother).
posted by tafetta, darling! at 11:59 AM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by tafetta, darling! at 11:59 AM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
This sounds like unschooling and/or the sort of thing they do at Montessori schools. Maybe research those, I think it’ll make you feel good about what you’re doing.
(Montessori kids, by the way, tend to do excellently in college despite not being forced to a rigid structure.)
posted by brook horse at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
(Montessori kids, by the way, tend to do excellently in college despite not being forced to a rigid structure.)
posted by brook horse at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
You are right on about everything. If you need reassurance, maybe read some John Holt. :-)
If you want to encourage practicing writing, then making booklets is a good choice, always about something *he* wants to write about. Or letters to someone he cares about. If it's the physical act of writing, it's normal to be resistant, especially if he's a bit of a perfectionist, at this age. We homeschooled between the ages of 8-14, and he wasn't so into writing. But he was into World of Warcraft, so we bought him a cool little journal, and asked him to write a diary of his avatar. He could play for X amount of time, but then he had to write about his adventures. Maybe something like that could work for him. Don't sweat on correcting him. If he needs help writing out particular letters, then tracing practice is good. The main thing is for him to come to understand that the physical act of writing, like all fine motor skills, is about practice. You wouldn't expect to be able to play guitar instantly, or anything else involving fine motor movement, would you? So practicing will make it easier. But also teach him how to type. (With a game, of course.)
posted by RedEmma at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
If you want to encourage practicing writing, then making booklets is a good choice, always about something *he* wants to write about. Or letters to someone he cares about. If it's the physical act of writing, it's normal to be resistant, especially if he's a bit of a perfectionist, at this age. We homeschooled between the ages of 8-14, and he wasn't so into writing. But he was into World of Warcraft, so we bought him a cool little journal, and asked him to write a diary of his avatar. He could play for X amount of time, but then he had to write about his adventures. Maybe something like that could work for him. Don't sweat on correcting him. If he needs help writing out particular letters, then tracing practice is good. The main thing is for him to come to understand that the physical act of writing, like all fine motor skills, is about practice. You wouldn't expect to be able to play guitar instantly, or anything else involving fine motor movement, would you? So practicing will make it easier. But also teach him how to type. (With a game, of course.)
posted by RedEmma at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
Yes yes yes yes yes please give up this pointless battle with your child and give your whole family a nice long break. Your child is 6, not 16. A few months off schoolwork will not affect his 'O' Levels, kwim? The "learning retention rate" (there is a more technical term for it but I forget) for online school is something like 30% even when the child enthusiastically participates. Do not torture yourself and your lovely family feeling like he's missing out! These battles will do real harm to his FUTURE ability to engage with schoolwork.
If his teachers kick up a fuss, please tell them where to stick it, because they need perspective. It's a pandemic. Your child's whole world has turned upside down in the most precipitous fashion imaginable. He has lost all his friends, and he can't compensate by calling them on the phone! He has no idea how to socialize over Zoom. He has far less control over this apocalyptic lifestyle than we do. He needs support, not pressure.
By all means restrict his screen time: set him up with coloring books and craft supplies, teach him to boil eggs, let him dig in a muddy yard, let him try and fail to climb a tree, let him make care packages for his grandparents filled with shitty origami and cookies, let him stare out of the window for hours... All of that is going to teach him so much more than the blasted e-learning exercises ever will.
FWIW my children are 9 and 12, and I promised them at the beginning of this madness that their parents did not give a shit what they did about e-school. I also strictly limited their screen time (including e-school) to a total of 3 hours per day. So over the past 12 weeks, both have learned to solve rubik's cubes of various weird-ass shapes, weeded the yard many times over, helped me raise a vegetable bed by hauling soil and rocks, painted our back porch, cooked meals and baked desserts every week, perfected their handstand technique, learned how to hula hoop, made crafts and written letters for care packages to relatives, and binge watched Avatar: The Last Airbender. Lest this come across as a brag about my angelic children, I must note that they have also fought with each other 6,932 times, had multiple end-of-the-world meltdowns per week about everything from "my pancakes are burned" to "my sister is breathing in an annoying way", protested their outdoor time literally every single day, and written "NO CORONA" in giant letters on the living room wall in permanent marker when I wasn't looking. So it's not like things are perfect but goddamn I can't imagine adding forced e-school to their already stressed little minds and bodies.
posted by MiraK at 12:16 PM on July 2, 2020 [15 favorites]
If his teachers kick up a fuss, please tell them where to stick it, because they need perspective. It's a pandemic. Your child's whole world has turned upside down in the most precipitous fashion imaginable. He has lost all his friends, and he can't compensate by calling them on the phone! He has no idea how to socialize over Zoom. He has far less control over this apocalyptic lifestyle than we do. He needs support, not pressure.
By all means restrict his screen time: set him up with coloring books and craft supplies, teach him to boil eggs, let him dig in a muddy yard, let him try and fail to climb a tree, let him make care packages for his grandparents filled with shitty origami and cookies, let him stare out of the window for hours... All of that is going to teach him so much more than the blasted e-learning exercises ever will.
FWIW my children are 9 and 12, and I promised them at the beginning of this madness that their parents did not give a shit what they did about e-school. I also strictly limited their screen time (including e-school) to a total of 3 hours per day. So over the past 12 weeks, both have learned to solve rubik's cubes of various weird-ass shapes, weeded the yard many times over, helped me raise a vegetable bed by hauling soil and rocks, painted our back porch, cooked meals and baked desserts every week, perfected their handstand technique, learned how to hula hoop, made crafts and written letters for care packages to relatives, and binge watched Avatar: The Last Airbender. Lest this come across as a brag about my angelic children, I must note that they have also fought with each other 6,932 times, had multiple end-of-the-world meltdowns per week about everything from "my pancakes are burned" to "my sister is breathing in an annoying way", protested their outdoor time literally every single day, and written "NO CORONA" in giant letters on the living room wall in permanent marker when I wasn't looking. So it's not like things are perfect but goddamn I can't imagine adding forced e-school to their already stressed little minds and bodies.
posted by MiraK at 12:16 PM on July 2, 2020 [15 favorites]
My kids are 5 and 8. They were pretty good about doing most of their work but I was more than willing to call it an early summer vacation if they had started to not do their work. At this age there isn't too much for kids to fall behind at academically so I'd give you permission to set the e-learning aside and have your son do what he is interested in and just go wherever it takes him. My kids just started their summer vacation so that's what they'll be doing for the next couple of months anyway.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:25 PM on July 2, 2020
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:25 PM on July 2, 2020
You're doing a fantastic job!
I also gave up on the formal lessons. My child needs major help with writing too, but that's something that's never going to be solved by me alone; it will take a) intensive work that I can't do myself and/or b) letting her focus on her oral strengths instead and letting her scribe (dictate). She was diagnosed with dysgraphia. I have a tutor coming twice a week right now to see if that helps. It's at least helping with my mom guilt. In my daughter's case, learning challenge or no, she also may outgrow her reluctance to write as she matures, as may your son.
I decided that I would choose what she needed to focus on, and in our case (since I knew I couldn't help her with writing) it was her multiplication facts (she's in grade four). I know it was the right thing to do.
posted by kitcat at 12:34 PM on July 2, 2020
I also gave up on the formal lessons. My child needs major help with writing too, but that's something that's never going to be solved by me alone; it will take a) intensive work that I can't do myself and/or b) letting her focus on her oral strengths instead and letting her scribe (dictate). She was diagnosed with dysgraphia. I have a tutor coming twice a week right now to see if that helps. It's at least helping with my mom guilt. In my daughter's case, learning challenge or no, she also may outgrow her reluctance to write as she matures, as may your son.
I decided that I would choose what she needed to focus on, and in our case (since I knew I couldn't help her with writing) it was her multiplication facts (she's in grade four). I know it was the right thing to do.
posted by kitcat at 12:34 PM on July 2, 2020
Former difficult student here. Your child sounds a lot like me at that age. It turns out (forty-five years later) that I have inattentive-presenting ADHD (i.e. the kind that people don't notice because you don't act out.) Knowing this earlier would have dramatically improved my quality of life so I would like to encourage you to look into the possibility that your child has it and consider getting him tested when that becomes practical.
In any case, the advice to keep learning and make it interesting is the sort of thing that would have worked with young me.
I loved reading but hated writing for the longest time until I hit on the realization that I could write a book. At that point, I threw myself into it. Perhaps you can lead him to a similar revelation?
posted by suetanvil at 2:26 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
In any case, the advice to keep learning and make it interesting is the sort of thing that would have worked with young me.
I loved reading but hated writing for the longest time until I hit on the realization that I could write a book. At that point, I threw myself into it. Perhaps you can lead him to a similar revelation?
posted by suetanvil at 2:26 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
Look up un-schooling. Your kiddo is going to need structure, so providing it in the context of un-schooling will go a long way to helping him develop core competencies, have a good relationship with his parents, and give him fun things to do.
Work sheets are fun until they are not when they become boring. Use the worksheets only to keep abreast of what your kiddo is supposed to be learning. If the work sheet is on subtraction play a game with him where he starts with 100 gp and has to equip a D & D adventurer. If the worksheet is read about octopus facts and circle the correct answers, put on a video about octopuses. If he is a reluctant writer spend time getting him to write below grade level.
If all you are getting is worksheets the school has basically abandoned you anyway. You could replace them by buying a decent workbook compendium for his grade level.
Be prepared to keep him from using screen time and allow him to be bored where his options are reading or doing those worksheet type exercises, or amusing himself with a pencil and paper.
Making sure he gets lots of physical exercise is probably as important as any formal or informal academics. Growing brains need lots of exercise and sleep or they don't learn anyway.
Challenge him with problem solving - make a bracelet, build a tent fort, figure out the ingredients for a half size recipe before you make it with him - that kind of stuff.
The most important thing you can do is to keep him healthy and happy. He's not going to be behind the other kids. Most of the other parents have already had to give up on worksheets too. When it's time for him to pick up the academic skills he will.
posted by Jane the Brown at 3:56 PM on July 2, 2020
Work sheets are fun until they are not when they become boring. Use the worksheets only to keep abreast of what your kiddo is supposed to be learning. If the work sheet is on subtraction play a game with him where he starts with 100 gp and has to equip a D & D adventurer. If the worksheet is read about octopus facts and circle the correct answers, put on a video about octopuses. If he is a reluctant writer spend time getting him to write below grade level.
If all you are getting is worksheets the school has basically abandoned you anyway. You could replace them by buying a decent workbook compendium for his grade level.
Be prepared to keep him from using screen time and allow him to be bored where his options are reading or doing those worksheet type exercises, or amusing himself with a pencil and paper.
Making sure he gets lots of physical exercise is probably as important as any formal or informal academics. Growing brains need lots of exercise and sleep or they don't learn anyway.
Challenge him with problem solving - make a bracelet, build a tent fort, figure out the ingredients for a half size recipe before you make it with him - that kind of stuff.
The most important thing you can do is to keep him healthy and happy. He's not going to be behind the other kids. Most of the other parents have already had to give up on worksheets too. When it's time for him to pick up the academic skills he will.
posted by Jane the Brown at 3:56 PM on July 2, 2020
See, that's the thing. What most real homeschoolers do during the crisis periods of life is TAKE A BREAK, or at least ease up, so they can deal with the crisis. Additionally, most real homeschoolers use curricula or methods that are intended for individual learning and not simply busywork. Replicating school-at-home is pretty much never a good idea, and often causes a new homeschool family to give up and send the child back to school. (Here's the naked truth: public school is inefficient and inconsistently effective; pretty much everything they do could be done better elsewhere.)
When a family first starts homeschooling, it's recommended that they first DEschool. That means taking 1-2 months off per year they were in public education to "reset", if you will. If the change is made due to crisis, even longer might be necessary... and that goes for the parents, too. All the stress and uncertainty filters down to the kids, even if they don't understand it.
Then, curricula and methods are often chosen based on what works for that particular child and that particular family. Some kids might thrive with very hands-on math, while others might do better with lessons online that are read to them, and still more might prefer a textbook approach, just to name a few.
As for writing; there are many ways to learn those skills, and only one requires worksheets. Listen to stories, tell stories, have him narrate stories aloud, create a magazine. (How helpful Otter would have been years ago; I actually had to type their stories for my kids at times.) Deconstruct stories into their parts. Talk through essays and journal questions. Video record a speech or answers. For other parts of language arts, it's much the same. In fact, for all subjects, it's the same.
If you do what you're doing now, and slowly add back in some carefully chosen educational stuff as time goes by, you might find that you all actually enjoy homeschooling.
posted by stormyteal at 4:25 PM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
When a family first starts homeschooling, it's recommended that they first DEschool. That means taking 1-2 months off per year they were in public education to "reset", if you will. If the change is made due to crisis, even longer might be necessary... and that goes for the parents, too. All the stress and uncertainty filters down to the kids, even if they don't understand it.
Then, curricula and methods are often chosen based on what works for that particular child and that particular family. Some kids might thrive with very hands-on math, while others might do better with lessons online that are read to them, and still more might prefer a textbook approach, just to name a few.
As for writing; there are many ways to learn those skills, and only one requires worksheets. Listen to stories, tell stories, have him narrate stories aloud, create a magazine. (How helpful Otter would have been years ago; I actually had to type their stories for my kids at times.) Deconstruct stories into their parts. Talk through essays and journal questions. Video record a speech or answers. For other parts of language arts, it's much the same. In fact, for all subjects, it's the same.
If you do what you're doing now, and slowly add back in some carefully chosen educational stuff as time goes by, you might find that you all actually enjoy homeschooling.
posted by stormyteal at 4:25 PM on July 2, 2020 [2 favorites]
I'm a teacher. It's absolutely fine for you to skip what the school is offering you entirely for now.
I would bear in mind that calling this 'e-learning' is actually quite misleading on the part of the school: what has been going on is emergency remote teaching, not online learning (which is designed from the get-go to be online entirely and deal with all the problems this creates - for example, no online learning curriculum would require participants to print paper worksheets for a seven-year-old to fill in and then send back as a jpg!).
Now, if you go more than a few months with NO guided educational activity, then sure, you might see evidence of that in the marks your child gets at school whenever they go back, at least initially. But then this will be the same for everyone, and post-Covid-19 education is going to be so different in terms of how schools structure the day and classwork and play time and homework and technology that other than supporting them in the basics in an age-appropriate and fun way at home, I don't think there's anything you CAN do beyond just keeping your child stimulated and happy to learn.
I would also wager that very little of what is assigned this year will ever be called upon for your child demonstrate competence in, other than in literacy and maths. The Guardian has more here on how this might look in England.
What I might suggest for literacy development for kids of this age would be...
- reading for fun - for example, extended bedtime reading
- reading for a purpose - for example, your child reading a recipe to you as you bake something
- writing on/around/near drawings - for example, captioning comics they draw
- watching TV with the captions on
- writing a script for a short play together and then acting it out for Grandma on FaceTime (with costumes?!)
- postcards to relatives and friends
- learning to type and use a mouse to manipulate text
Enjoy the summer!
posted by mdonley at 7:34 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
I would bear in mind that calling this 'e-learning' is actually quite misleading on the part of the school: what has been going on is emergency remote teaching, not online learning (which is designed from the get-go to be online entirely and deal with all the problems this creates - for example, no online learning curriculum would require participants to print paper worksheets for a seven-year-old to fill in and then send back as a jpg!).
Now, if you go more than a few months with NO guided educational activity, then sure, you might see evidence of that in the marks your child gets at school whenever they go back, at least initially. But then this will be the same for everyone, and post-Covid-19 education is going to be so different in terms of how schools structure the day and classwork and play time and homework and technology that other than supporting them in the basics in an age-appropriate and fun way at home, I don't think there's anything you CAN do beyond just keeping your child stimulated and happy to learn.
I would also wager that very little of what is assigned this year will ever be called upon for your child demonstrate competence in, other than in literacy and maths. The Guardian has more here on how this might look in England.
What I might suggest for literacy development for kids of this age would be...
- reading for fun - for example, extended bedtime reading
- reading for a purpose - for example, your child reading a recipe to you as you bake something
- writing on/around/near drawings - for example, captioning comics they draw
- watching TV with the captions on
- writing a script for a short play together and then acting it out for Grandma on FaceTime (with costumes?!)
- postcards to relatives and friends
- learning to type and use a mouse to manipulate text
Enjoy the summer!
posted by mdonley at 7:34 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
This reminds me of my boss getting mad because of all the work they put into hammering science into her kid's head, all he got on his report card was that he "participated in online learning."
Bugger it. Unschooling it is, y'all!
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:48 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
Bugger it. Unschooling it is, y'all!
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:48 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
As a data point, I was unschooled for about half a year, and then low-intensity homeschooled for a year, age 11-12, and it did me no harm and probably was much better for me than the alternative traditional schooling on offer for those years. I'm glad of it- the school situation I was pulled out of was not good for me. It was very stressful and low reward.
My unschooling time was a lot of history documentaries, internet research on projects, and digging the garden. I went back into a traditional classroom after that, which went just fine. I didn't come out spoiled, though it of course was an adjustment. I was not the most conscientious student, but my time being unschooled was never an issue.
Just being told: "This situation sucks, we are on your side, do you want to stop going to your school that sucks?" was a pretty powerful lesson on its own!
posted by BungaDunga at 8:35 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
My unschooling time was a lot of history documentaries, internet research on projects, and digging the garden. I went back into a traditional classroom after that, which went just fine. I didn't come out spoiled, though it of course was an adjustment. I was not the most conscientious student, but my time being unschooled was never an issue.
Just being told: "This situation sucks, we are on your side, do you want to stop going to your school that sucks?" was a pretty powerful lesson on its own!
posted by BungaDunga at 8:35 PM on July 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
Oh, and the other thing he may learn while being unschooled: being allowed to do sort of whatever you want can be pretty boring in a whole different way to schoolwork-boring. It sounds like he's really a pretty diligent student- he cheerfully kept up with his distance work for weeks. That's pretty good going! You're not going to be able to knock his interest in schoolwork out just by a few weeks or months of unschooling even if you tried, and it sounds like he's been keeping busy anyway.
He'll be fine. You're doing great.
posted by BungaDunga at 8:51 PM on July 2, 2020
He'll be fine. You're doing great.
posted by BungaDunga at 8:51 PM on July 2, 2020
So a bit of a middle ground answer. My kiddo is 6 and we also abandoned the school's e-learning plan. Heck, it's been a major bonus for us because while she was in school she was writhing about on the floor insisting she couldn't read and now after 3 months she's reading at a 2nd grade level.
However--and this is speaking as a former ADHD/gifted kid with unschooling inclinations--I do think it's important in any setting to impart a growth mindset, and sometimes that means getting through the difficult and fiddly bits, doing small amounts of unfun rote work, and establishing fundamentals. I honestly don't think schools are any better at this than most parents. Frankly, I heavily rely on bribing my kid. Here and there we've worked letter tracing worksheets in with good bribes (charms for a charm bracelet, you can substitute lego minifigs or whatnot) and if she ever finishes all 26 letters she'll get some big ridiculous frivolous toy. I think we're finally on R. Difficulty writing can also mean poor fine motor control, so I'd make sure he's getting lots of practice in there. It doesn't need to be writing. It can be watercolor paints or playdoh or crafts or kneading bread dough. Also keep in mind that the things they make kids write in school are just really shallow, and if you want your child to work on self-expression, you might have success getting them to write minecraft fanfic or whatnot. The key is to make these things enticing enough that they don't care that they're writing (via bribes) or that they don't notice. I had my kid hunt and peck out a story about unicorns on my ancient typewriter.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:24 PM on July 3, 2020
However--and this is speaking as a former ADHD/gifted kid with unschooling inclinations--I do think it's important in any setting to impart a growth mindset, and sometimes that means getting through the difficult and fiddly bits, doing small amounts of unfun rote work, and establishing fundamentals. I honestly don't think schools are any better at this than most parents. Frankly, I heavily rely on bribing my kid. Here and there we've worked letter tracing worksheets in with good bribes (charms for a charm bracelet, you can substitute lego minifigs or whatnot) and if she ever finishes all 26 letters she'll get some big ridiculous frivolous toy. I think we're finally on R. Difficulty writing can also mean poor fine motor control, so I'd make sure he's getting lots of practice in there. It doesn't need to be writing. It can be watercolor paints or playdoh or crafts or kneading bread dough. Also keep in mind that the things they make kids write in school are just really shallow, and if you want your child to work on self-expression, you might have success getting them to write minecraft fanfic or whatnot. The key is to make these things enticing enough that they don't care that they're writing (via bribes) or that they don't notice. I had my kid hunt and peck out a story about unicorns on my ancient typewriter.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:24 PM on July 3, 2020
Another thing to consider is nonfiction writing. I hated writing as a kid because my teachers were convinced we all had vivid imaginations and would love making up stories. I still hate making up stories. But I've enjoyed writing true stories, letters, how to guides, and even some school reports, like telling about tree frogs or panning terrible books. So if your kid doesn't wander around making up stories for his toys or imaginary friends, he might be like me.
posted by Margalo Epps at 9:49 PM on July 8, 2020
posted by Margalo Epps at 9:49 PM on July 8, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
I'm trying really hard to contain my rage about this whole situation so I'm going to boil my comment down to the essential, which is that your kid is not the kid that 'they' are worried about. Do what you need to do to preserve his mental health and your own.
You can create incentives for him to write on your own time and with more flexibility and gentleness outside of the school's framework.
posted by bq at 11:18 AM on July 2, 2020 [9 favorites]