I cannot work.
June 15, 2020 5:32 AM Subscribe
Of late I feel like I cannot work... but I must work. Working from home has gotten harder and harder, I hate it and there seems like no end in sight. Home is full of distractions and I just cannot work at home but I have to. How can I work from home in this situation?
I've written elsewhere about issues I've been experiencing at work for the last 1.5 years since my new boss entered the picture. However, I've always been productive, even when I have felt unsupported and inadequate. Right now, though, it's a different story.
1) Work seems pointless. I feel we are kept busy with pointless projects that never amount to anything. We pile up reams of notes and actions but at the end of the day nothing comes of anything. Half of my work is very reactive and depends on what the boss wants us to do - that is the only half he cares about. The other half is the lower-level, day to day stuff that needs to get done and he doesn't care about it, but it actually is more important.
2) I am a social person and working from home, alone, has been horrible for my mental and emotional health. I am lonely, anxious and miserable.
3) Being at the office, surrounded by people at their computers, I had to work even if I didn't care about a thing or thought it was boring or pointless, because there was nothing else I could be doing. Being at home, even though I live alone, is full of distractions. Today instead of working I gave the bathroom a deep clean. I've posted elsewhere on MeFi about the amount of domestic chores that I feel like I need to be on top of constantly now that I am WFH. My home is just full of distractions in the forms of things that need to be folded, put away, washed, ironed, etc.
4) My boss is really negative and aggressive, not the kind of person I would go to for support in this situation. I do not feel that they would react with sympathy if they knew I was struggling to feel productive. They would just give me a lecture about time management and give me more stuff to do because they didn't feel I was busy enough.
5) My WFH set up isn't ideal, and we don't have the funds to buy like big monitors, proper chairs etc.
I know everyone says to be kind to yourself and have realistic expectations of how much you can achieve in a pandemic situation, and that's all well and good but I know my boss does not feel the same way. I have to be at 80-100% and at the moment I feel like I'm at 10%. I need help.
I've written elsewhere about issues I've been experiencing at work for the last 1.5 years since my new boss entered the picture. However, I've always been productive, even when I have felt unsupported and inadequate. Right now, though, it's a different story.
1) Work seems pointless. I feel we are kept busy with pointless projects that never amount to anything. We pile up reams of notes and actions but at the end of the day nothing comes of anything. Half of my work is very reactive and depends on what the boss wants us to do - that is the only half he cares about. The other half is the lower-level, day to day stuff that needs to get done and he doesn't care about it, but it actually is more important.
2) I am a social person and working from home, alone, has been horrible for my mental and emotional health. I am lonely, anxious and miserable.
3) Being at the office, surrounded by people at their computers, I had to work even if I didn't care about a thing or thought it was boring or pointless, because there was nothing else I could be doing. Being at home, even though I live alone, is full of distractions. Today instead of working I gave the bathroom a deep clean. I've posted elsewhere on MeFi about the amount of domestic chores that I feel like I need to be on top of constantly now that I am WFH. My home is just full of distractions in the forms of things that need to be folded, put away, washed, ironed, etc.
4) My boss is really negative and aggressive, not the kind of person I would go to for support in this situation. I do not feel that they would react with sympathy if they knew I was struggling to feel productive. They would just give me a lecture about time management and give me more stuff to do because they didn't feel I was busy enough.
5) My WFH set up isn't ideal, and we don't have the funds to buy like big monitors, proper chairs etc.
I know everyone says to be kind to yourself and have realistic expectations of how much you can achieve in a pandemic situation, and that's all well and good but I know my boss does not feel the same way. I have to be at 80-100% and at the moment I feel like I'm at 10%. I need help.
been WFH since 2014. i find the dopamine fix from ticking off todo items is helpful. if this is also you, just be sure to keep the list manageable in size and prioritized.
i use a timer for x amount of mintues on tasks (usually 20 or 25 depending on my ability to focus) with a short rest. the rest is also timed. this is *very* important for me, otherwise i end up doing all sorts of unproductive things.
which would be fine, except it's work time.
posted by lescour at 6:02 AM on June 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
i use a timer for x amount of mintues on tasks (usually 20 or 25 depending on my ability to focus) with a short rest. the rest is also timed. this is *very* important for me, otherwise i end up doing all sorts of unproductive things.
which would be fine, except it's work time.
posted by lescour at 6:02 AM on June 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Your last paragraph is really important. If you read Ask A Manager or Lifehacker (or comments here, for that matter) everybody says “oh your boss will understand this is a difficult situation”, which is absolutely not true for a lot of people. I just want to start by validating that feeling because it feels like no one else is, and I’m sure it’s contributing to your stress to see everyone else with good bosses getting to breeze by while you’re working as hard as ever.
With that in mind, I think your fourth point is crucial. You need *someone* to talk to about this. For some reason, everyone suggests talking to bosses, which I can only assume means that these people have never had bosses. But you do need to find someone else - a sympathetic co-worker or someone. My wife, who works in a pretty isolated role, uses me for this. Maybe even a therapist would work. They won’t be able to affect change like your boss could, but at least you’d be able to get it off your proverbial chest. That matters, because you can then stop carrying it around with you. It helps your second point, too.
With regard to your first point, I don’t mean to sound cynical, but allow me to suggest that work may have been pointless before the pandemic as well. Are you familiar with David Graeber’s concept of bullshit jobs? I personally find it helpful to contextualize how I feel about work. It might be worth a read. I don’t know if it’ll help you be more productive, but maybe it’ll help you feel less bad about not being productive.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:07 AM on June 15, 2020 [19 favorites]
With that in mind, I think your fourth point is crucial. You need *someone* to talk to about this. For some reason, everyone suggests talking to bosses, which I can only assume means that these people have never had bosses. But you do need to find someone else - a sympathetic co-worker or someone. My wife, who works in a pretty isolated role, uses me for this. Maybe even a therapist would work. They won’t be able to affect change like your boss could, but at least you’d be able to get it off your proverbial chest. That matters, because you can then stop carrying it around with you. It helps your second point, too.
With regard to your first point, I don’t mean to sound cynical, but allow me to suggest that work may have been pointless before the pandemic as well. Are you familiar with David Graeber’s concept of bullshit jobs? I personally find it helpful to contextualize how I feel about work. It might be worth a read. I don’t know if it’ll help you be more productive, but maybe it’ll help you feel less bad about not being productive.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:07 AM on June 15, 2020 [19 favorites]
I'm in a somewhat similar situation as you, so I'll offer a couple of simple things I have tried to incorporate from the mental side of things. I sense your frustration and maybe a couple of these will help.
1. Start a gratitude journal and list 3-5 things everyday you are thankful for as you start your day. They can be anything and can be repetitive. It may seem simplistic but it really can make a difference in your attitude.
2. List out 1 or 2 things you must get done today. Not 10, just 1 or 2. I actually list 1. Mine today is to submit one application for a new online job.
3. Meditate even if for 5 -10 minutes. Just sit and count breaths or listen to your body and put your thoughts in balloons and watch them drift away.
4. Go for a walk.
I echo the timer suggestion. Search for Pomodoro timer online, there are a couple of sites that can help with this technique. Best of luck!
posted by shjun at 6:18 AM on June 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
1. Start a gratitude journal and list 3-5 things everyday you are thankful for as you start your day. They can be anything and can be repetitive. It may seem simplistic but it really can make a difference in your attitude.
2. List out 1 or 2 things you must get done today. Not 10, just 1 or 2. I actually list 1. Mine today is to submit one application for a new online job.
3. Meditate even if for 5 -10 minutes. Just sit and count breaths or listen to your body and put your thoughts in balloons and watch them drift away.
4. Go for a walk.
I echo the timer suggestion. Search for Pomodoro timer online, there are a couple of sites that can help with this technique. Best of luck!
posted by shjun at 6:18 AM on June 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Hey OP, I currently have my office at a buddy's place. That has been great because my ADHD makes it challenging to be as productive as so-called normies. Luckily, I am able to meet my deadlines to clients because they do not need to see me turn myself inside out to get the work done, they just need to see a professional result, and they do. But I am relocating in a few months and will have to work from home. To make that bearable, I will be dedicating part of that tiny studio space to my work as my no-kidding office.
I will also try to set up Zoom work dates with various buddies, as I have in the past. Because it is super helpful for me to set another face, even onscreen, who is working while I am working. Usually, we just agree in advance to meet up for, say, a 2-hour period to do whatever we need to do for our respective jobs. We are not accountability buddies. We do pester each other to get things done but we do check in. It's good for me to hear myself say, my goal for this stretch is to get X amount of Y done during this time. Then usually we work for an hour, check in for a few minutes and take maybe a 10-minute break, then work for another hour. (Message me if you are still in Europe because I do not have enough work buddies and would love to find another one if you would like to try it out.)
There are a lot of threads about ADHD and productivity here on the green. So consider checking out old threads for tips. It doesn't matter if you have ADHD or not, it really doesn't. Just experiment with some of the ideas to see if they help. One thing that helps me when I am avoiding work (like now, say!) is to set my timer for just 15 minutes and tell myself that I only have to work on Z for 15 minutes; if I am in misery when the timer goes off, I can stop. I nearly always keep working, though; the misery I imagined was mostly in my head.
Some folks get to have jobs that are 50% or more fun. Most of us? Not so much. It was helpful to realize that many of my expectations about work were unrealistic. Many bosses are annoying. Lots of tasks are annoying. Lots of people do not appreciate the quality of work I provide and have lower standards than I do for that work. I cannot change any of those things. Nor can I stop being a working stiff. So I have had to shift my own attitude. I don't look to others for validation as much, for one thing. For another, sometimes I can "gamely" a few of the suckiest tasks to make them easier because dragging them out doesn't make them any more fun.
Keeping a daily to do list for work, rating the items by importance, and adding them to my calendar has also be helpful. I also reward myself with short, fun videos after a chunk of work. It's just too hard, otherwise. Best of luck, OP. This stuff is challenging.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:21 AM on June 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
I will also try to set up Zoom work dates with various buddies, as I have in the past. Because it is super helpful for me to set another face, even onscreen, who is working while I am working. Usually, we just agree in advance to meet up for, say, a 2-hour period to do whatever we need to do for our respective jobs. We are not accountability buddies. We do pester each other to get things done but we do check in. It's good for me to hear myself say, my goal for this stretch is to get X amount of Y done during this time. Then usually we work for an hour, check in for a few minutes and take maybe a 10-minute break, then work for another hour. (Message me if you are still in Europe because I do not have enough work buddies and would love to find another one if you would like to try it out.)
There are a lot of threads about ADHD and productivity here on the green. So consider checking out old threads for tips. It doesn't matter if you have ADHD or not, it really doesn't. Just experiment with some of the ideas to see if they help. One thing that helps me when I am avoiding work (like now, say!) is to set my timer for just 15 minutes and tell myself that I only have to work on Z for 15 minutes; if I am in misery when the timer goes off, I can stop. I nearly always keep working, though; the misery I imagined was mostly in my head.
Some folks get to have jobs that are 50% or more fun. Most of us? Not so much. It was helpful to realize that many of my expectations about work were unrealistic. Many bosses are annoying. Lots of tasks are annoying. Lots of people do not appreciate the quality of work I provide and have lower standards than I do for that work. I cannot change any of those things. Nor can I stop being a working stiff. So I have had to shift my own attitude. I don't look to others for validation as much, for one thing. For another, sometimes I can "gamely" a few of the suckiest tasks to make them easier because dragging them out doesn't make them any more fun.
Keeping a daily to do list for work, rating the items by importance, and adding them to my calendar has also be helpful. I also reward myself with short, fun videos after a chunk of work. It's just too hard, otherwise. Best of luck, OP. This stuff is challenging.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:21 AM on June 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Are you located somewhere that "social bubbles" are allowed, and do you feel comfortable risking social contact? If you could find a friend who is also working from home who would let you come to their living room for coworking, that might solve your problem.
posted by pinochiette at 7:14 AM on June 15, 2020
posted by pinochiette at 7:14 AM on June 15, 2020
Best answer: I hear/see you! I've been WFH since like... 2009? For various employers, and my level of productivity waxes and wanes even with the ideal setup and interesting projects. This time right now has been particularly difficult, and the most helpful thing I've heard is that it's OK to suck at your job right now.
80%-100%? Fuck That Noise. Honestly, most companies right now would cut your job right out from under you even if you were at 110%, so, you know, fuck 'em? Everything is on fire and/or viral and we're at a major turning point in history, so maybe fuck your aggro boss?
This is a philosophical stance more than a practical one, but seriously, aim for the absolute minimum to not get fired. Do one thing that feels pointful for every thing that feels pointless and include stuff you love on your hated to-do list. Next time someone from work (work! Who even cares right now?!) screams at you, just hit the red button and walk out of your own home into the streets, or clean something, or take a nap. This is fine (tm).
posted by Freyja at 8:05 AM on June 15, 2020 [8 favorites]
80%-100%? Fuck That Noise. Honestly, most companies right now would cut your job right out from under you even if you were at 110%, so, you know, fuck 'em? Everything is on fire and/or viral and we're at a major turning point in history, so maybe fuck your aggro boss?
This is a philosophical stance more than a practical one, but seriously, aim for the absolute minimum to not get fired. Do one thing that feels pointful for every thing that feels pointless and include stuff you love on your hated to-do list. Next time someone from work (work! Who even cares right now?!) screams at you, just hit the red button and walk out of your own home into the streets, or clean something, or take a nap. This is fine (tm).
posted by Freyja at 8:05 AM on June 15, 2020 [8 favorites]
Can you join a coworking space?
posted by Jacqueline at 8:38 AM on June 15, 2020
posted by Jacqueline at 8:38 AM on June 15, 2020
Let me ask: do you really have to be productive? I've been working remotely for years and I've found that my various bosses don't really know what I'm doing or for how long. When something truly important comes up I throw myself into it, but otherwise I try to focus on me and my needs (including household and family responsibilities) and phone in the bare minimum at work because no one notices anyway. In some ways it has made me better at work because I have lots of flexibility to adjust to changes and lots of available time and energy so I can jump on crises or opportunities. I've found "ninety percent of everything is crap" to be true at work, so I'm not going to strain myself writing my 5th report that no one will read this week.
Maybe your boss is a micromanager and this isn't possible for you, but maybe you can test run looking at this as an opportunity to put yourself first and churn out your work in the least time possible, while still being ready to be a star performer when you think the situation calls for it.
posted by Tehhund at 9:45 AM on June 15, 2020 [12 favorites]
Maybe your boss is a micromanager and this isn't possible for you, but maybe you can test run looking at this as an opportunity to put yourself first and churn out your work in the least time possible, while still being ready to be a star performer when you think the situation calls for it.
posted by Tehhund at 9:45 AM on June 15, 2020 [12 favorites]
I just watched a formerly-helpful coworker go, over the last eight weeks, from "less effective due to being at home, but responsive and engaged" to "unmotivated because of being less effective" to "hard to reach and not clear what work they're doing and when" to "basically unreachable, sending vague texts about work not being that big a deal in the scheme of things anyway".
(istg I don't want to hear anyone's "work! Who even cares right now" bull while I'm having to carry their weight. Your employer. They care.)
So let's talk about what bosses understanding it's a difficult time means: if you are working hard and not getting as much done. If you are having to devote fewer hours to work but working hard during them. You DO have to be meeting them partway and putting in at least the appearance of effort.
Everyone's efficiency is lower but if you are working on a day it needs to be possible to reach you and you need to be responding to direct questions sent your way. Not instantly! But if your boss needs to see the slides reorganized in alphabetical order so that it matches the template *his* boss has asked for so that it's 6% easier for her to follow, he will in fact notice if you don't do it and he gets yelled at.
That was probably longer than it needed to be to communicate "I believe you about wanting to be at 80% and actually being at 10% and that that is a problem that could get you fired".
How to get there... For me I find I just have to start and the rest follows. Read your email. Start with email from your boss. Anything there you have to act on right away?
Now open a file or a notebook and start writing down what key things you want to accomplish today. Just a couple things is fine! Note down your 2-4 things you want to get done, and then as soon as they're done you can be done too. If you finish at 2:30, well, time for a break! Then come back at 4:30 and check your email again so you don't drop anything urgent.
For me, though, once I start working usually I do a bunch of other stuff on my way to completing those few tasks.
If you're struggling to even sit down, try something like the pomodoros people talk about - set a 20 minute timer and work during it. You can do anything for 20 minutes! If you work 20 minutes every hour, that also might be enough to keep you afloat and keep your boss reasonably happy.
But however you do it, you have to get your work stuff higher up in your memory than the dust on the bookcase and the sunshine on the lawn chair are.
posted by Lady Li at 4:00 PM on June 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
(istg I don't want to hear anyone's "work! Who even cares right now" bull while I'm having to carry their weight. Your employer. They care.)
So let's talk about what bosses understanding it's a difficult time means: if you are working hard and not getting as much done. If you are having to devote fewer hours to work but working hard during them. You DO have to be meeting them partway and putting in at least the appearance of effort.
Everyone's efficiency is lower but if you are working on a day it needs to be possible to reach you and you need to be responding to direct questions sent your way. Not instantly! But if your boss needs to see the slides reorganized in alphabetical order so that it matches the template *his* boss has asked for so that it's 6% easier for her to follow, he will in fact notice if you don't do it and he gets yelled at.
That was probably longer than it needed to be to communicate "I believe you about wanting to be at 80% and actually being at 10% and that that is a problem that could get you fired".
How to get there... For me I find I just have to start and the rest follows. Read your email. Start with email from your boss. Anything there you have to act on right away?
Now open a file or a notebook and start writing down what key things you want to accomplish today. Just a couple things is fine! Note down your 2-4 things you want to get done, and then as soon as they're done you can be done too. If you finish at 2:30, well, time for a break! Then come back at 4:30 and check your email again so you don't drop anything urgent.
For me, though, once I start working usually I do a bunch of other stuff on my way to completing those few tasks.
If you're struggling to even sit down, try something like the pomodoros people talk about - set a 20 minute timer and work during it. You can do anything for 20 minutes! If you work 20 minutes every hour, that also might be enough to keep you afloat and keep your boss reasonably happy.
But however you do it, you have to get your work stuff higher up in your memory than the dust on the bookcase and the sunshine on the lawn chair are.
posted by Lady Li at 4:00 PM on June 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Oh, I accidentally deleted another line from the above: Also, if you have to take leave or change your work schedule, that's the sort of thing you could totally reasonably negotiate with an employer right now and would be fine. But just falling off the planet is really hard for your teammates to deal with too, so it's good that you want to avoid that and to re-engage with your job!
posted by Lady Li at 4:03 PM on June 15, 2020
posted by Lady Li at 4:03 PM on June 15, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
A few concrete suggestions:
1) You need to have a place in your home where work happens & nothing else happens. During work hours you are in that place & you are working. Have you seen this CGP Grey video? There are some strategies in there that might help.
2) Do the best you can to make that place comfortable to work in. Working on a laptop? Buy a cheap keyboard & mouse from Amazon, plug them into the laptop & put the laptop itself either on a stand or on a pile of books so that the screen is at the correct height - the top of the screen should be roughly level with your eyeballs.
3) Timetable some social interaction time. A video conference board game with friends, something. We all need social interaction & it makes a huge difference to have something, even if it’s a poor substitute for in person contact.
posted by pharm at 5:54 AM on June 15, 2020 [2 favorites]