How to make returning to my lonely office drone job less dreadful?
June 14, 2020 5:16 PM Subscribe
What are some things that I could add to my office, workday or routine that would give me something to look forward to, make the place homier, help me feel less lonely, bring a little enjoyment to the work day, etc?
Like many introverts, I’ve been loving working from home, but now I have to go back to the office and I’m dreading it. My job really isn’t terrible - it’s not overly stressful and my coworkers are nice but definitely at a remove from me due to the differing natures of our work. I have a little space of my own at work and commute by car 30 minutes each way. I tend to have a decent amount of extra time during the work day most days, too, which is both a blessing and curse. What kinds of things do you do at work or during your workday or have in your desk/office that cheer things up for you?
Like many introverts, I’ve been loving working from home, but now I have to go back to the office and I’m dreading it. My job really isn’t terrible - it’s not overly stressful and my coworkers are nice but definitely at a remove from me due to the differing natures of our work. I have a little space of my own at work and commute by car 30 minutes each way. I tend to have a decent amount of extra time during the work day most days, too, which is both a blessing and curse. What kinds of things do you do at work or during your workday or have in your desk/office that cheer things up for you?
- I have an essential oil diffuser with lavender oils but In some offices that may be considered a nuisance.
- A nice pair of headphones.
- Some vinyl art toys/figurines that I enjoy looking at when I need a break
- Random stickers that I’ve pinned to my cubicle walls
posted by Young Kullervo at 5:35 PM on June 14, 2020
- A nice pair of headphones.
- Some vinyl art toys/figurines that I enjoy looking at when I need a break
- Random stickers that I’ve pinned to my cubicle walls
posted by Young Kullervo at 5:35 PM on June 14, 2020
If your office has a lot of sunlight or you can set up grow lights, you could get a bunch of plants to admire and take care of.
posted by moonmilk at 6:04 PM on June 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by moonmilk at 6:04 PM on June 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Physically getting out of the building, ideally for a walk, even for just a few minutes. If the immediate surroundings aren't pleasant, would you have time for a short drive to some green space over lunch?
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 6:14 PM on June 14, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 6:14 PM on June 14, 2020 [9 favorites]
To add to the last answer I used to go sit in my car for my lunch break and eat whatever I'd brought there and read. It broke up the day nicely.
posted by mareli at 6:28 PM on June 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by mareli at 6:28 PM on June 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
I bought a braided ficus years ago, now a monster tree, and it and its plant friends are a daily joy. Photos of people and animals you live. Art you don't ever tire of viewing. Desk toys. A small fish tank. A comfy chair and your own throw rug. Tea or coffee making equipment. Maybe a little scheduled meditation. And if there's anyone you click with at work, enjoy occasional chats at a social distance.
posted by bearwife at 9:42 PM on June 14, 2020
posted by bearwife at 9:42 PM on June 14, 2020
Pothos plant (no sun required) and a goldfish.
posted by Grandysaur at 11:45 PM on June 14, 2020
posted by Grandysaur at 11:45 PM on June 14, 2020
I tend to have a decent amount of extra time during the work day most days, too, which is both a blessing and curse
I've found sourcing a list of longreads or podcasts that seem up my alley then picking one a day to break up any quiet-ish day really helps. Longreads I paste into a word document and read that way so it vaguely looks like I'm doing something, podcasts I listen to while doing something really mundane (archiving old documents etc).
Buying the ingredients to put together a really nice lunch or snack each day. A good hearty salad, fancy meusli, or everyone is absurdly impressed with my colleague's cafe-style avocado and tomato toast she makes herself each morning.
posted by hotcoroner at 1:20 AM on June 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
I've found sourcing a list of longreads or podcasts that seem up my alley then picking one a day to break up any quiet-ish day really helps. Longreads I paste into a word document and read that way so it vaguely looks like I'm doing something, podcasts I listen to while doing something really mundane (archiving old documents etc).
Buying the ingredients to put together a really nice lunch or snack each day. A good hearty salad, fancy meusli, or everyone is absurdly impressed with my colleague's cafe-style avocado and tomato toast she makes herself each morning.
posted by hotcoroner at 1:20 AM on June 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
A change in mindset may be helpful if the office feels lonely because you see a lot of people really close up and yet don't interact or fit in with them. If you are quietly doing the book keeping and they are all manning the phones and working on sales while you are stuck just beside the tumult and yet you can't participate in it or discuss it in anyway it might feel like this. If this is your situation, trying to re-frame the experiences as being your own private soap opera with all these characters you like watching, and looking forward to observing what is going on. They answer make the calls and worry about customers who never appear on screen. If you think of it as a cross between The Office and some show for kids with a cast of loveable pre-teens with their own quirks and charming behaviours, all being enacted for your amusement, you may feel less lonely.
If you create positive scripts for your office mates: Loveable Julia who is always upset when the customers don't get what they want and Ambitious Martin who promises more than you can deliver because he really wants to believe you can and Laid-back Negelia who has seen everything and knows it will all work out in the end etc. you can get some gentle mileage out if it when today's drama is Julia getting upset and Martin trying to convince her your company can ship out 500 widgets when they can't. However it has to be lightweight and affectionate because this is a kid's show and you'll be miserable if you turn Julia into a villain and then have to listen to her be evil every day. The worst that can happen on this show is that the widgets don't get delivered. You can't have any real character development or plot because it's a sit-com/soap opera, but you do get to watch for trends and tropes.
If you are more lonely in the office than at home, it sounds like you are not feeling like part of the group, and this is probably because they are not helping you become part of the group and taking you for granted and seeing you as back office while they are front office. Some personally directed efforts to improve your own company morale could help here. It's not likely to help if you just use the personalized pens that the company gave to everyone with Widget Corp provided, but defining back office as the silent support team for front office and doing something extra for the front office may help you feel more connected. The key is redefining their obliviousness as focus on their own work and yourself as the silent partner, secret friend or fan, or if there are office politics to regard them much like a good parent does when the pre-schoolers get into conflict. Neither Betsy who wants to play with the kitchen nor Hannah who wants to play with the trucks is being bad, they just can't play well together because they are not old enough to understand taking turns and sharing.
Participating from your own desk can also help, so with that extra time you have around the edges doing things like taking the group shot of everyone in the office and photoshopping WWII gasmasks onto everyone in the picture and captioning it "Remember to social distance! Keep the team healthy!" and posting it in your cubie is the kind of pro-social activity that may make you feel happier and less like you're not part of the team. This is not the same as wearing the stupid hat with the company logo that they gave to everyone because your small project is self directed and creative and expresses a positive ambition that you can get behind whole heartedly. We tend to like people more that we do good things for than we like people who do good things for us. The first sucks us in through what might admittedly only be the fallacy of sunk costs, the second tends to make us feel entitled to more of the same and aggrieved if other people fall short of the new normal. If the people you work with are expressing that type of aggrieved rejection because you are management/back office and they feel that management/back office always lets them down than the things you do for them to feel better about them has to be invisible to them and only visible to you, or to you and third parties. Remember you're not doing this because it's part of your job, or for the sake of the company, but because it's good for your morale. If you can't think of anything like this that makes you feel better don't end up doing things that you hate.
A daily treat for yourself that you schedule in advance may help. In general when good things are happening observe and focus on the right now and how good it is, but when bad things are happening focus on the future and how good that will be. Many people love to get some music to listen to, so planning a Chopin concerto on Monday, some Vivaldi on Tuesday and an early Beatles album for Wednesday can give you something positive to anticipate during the morning and then after lunch give you something positive to savour while it plays, and then you have only part of the afternoon to look forward to, with the end of the day your next promised treat.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:31 AM on June 15, 2020
If you create positive scripts for your office mates: Loveable Julia who is always upset when the customers don't get what they want and Ambitious Martin who promises more than you can deliver because he really wants to believe you can and Laid-back Negelia who has seen everything and knows it will all work out in the end etc. you can get some gentle mileage out if it when today's drama is Julia getting upset and Martin trying to convince her your company can ship out 500 widgets when they can't. However it has to be lightweight and affectionate because this is a kid's show and you'll be miserable if you turn Julia into a villain and then have to listen to her be evil every day. The worst that can happen on this show is that the widgets don't get delivered. You can't have any real character development or plot because it's a sit-com/soap opera, but you do get to watch for trends and tropes.
If you are more lonely in the office than at home, it sounds like you are not feeling like part of the group, and this is probably because they are not helping you become part of the group and taking you for granted and seeing you as back office while they are front office. Some personally directed efforts to improve your own company morale could help here. It's not likely to help if you just use the personalized pens that the company gave to everyone with Widget Corp provided, but defining back office as the silent support team for front office and doing something extra for the front office may help you feel more connected. The key is redefining their obliviousness as focus on their own work and yourself as the silent partner, secret friend or fan, or if there are office politics to regard them much like a good parent does when the pre-schoolers get into conflict. Neither Betsy who wants to play with the kitchen nor Hannah who wants to play with the trucks is being bad, they just can't play well together because they are not old enough to understand taking turns and sharing.
Participating from your own desk can also help, so with that extra time you have around the edges doing things like taking the group shot of everyone in the office and photoshopping WWII gasmasks onto everyone in the picture and captioning it "Remember to social distance! Keep the team healthy!" and posting it in your cubie is the kind of pro-social activity that may make you feel happier and less like you're not part of the team. This is not the same as wearing the stupid hat with the company logo that they gave to everyone because your small project is self directed and creative and expresses a positive ambition that you can get behind whole heartedly. We tend to like people more that we do good things for than we like people who do good things for us. The first sucks us in through what might admittedly only be the fallacy of sunk costs, the second tends to make us feel entitled to more of the same and aggrieved if other people fall short of the new normal. If the people you work with are expressing that type of aggrieved rejection because you are management/back office and they feel that management/back office always lets them down than the things you do for them to feel better about them has to be invisible to them and only visible to you, or to you and third parties. Remember you're not doing this because it's part of your job, or for the sake of the company, but because it's good for your morale. If you can't think of anything like this that makes you feel better don't end up doing things that you hate.
A daily treat for yourself that you schedule in advance may help. In general when good things are happening observe and focus on the right now and how good it is, but when bad things are happening focus on the future and how good that will be. Many people love to get some music to listen to, so planning a Chopin concerto on Monday, some Vivaldi on Tuesday and an early Beatles album for Wednesday can give you something positive to anticipate during the morning and then after lunch give you something positive to savour while it plays, and then you have only part of the afternoon to look forward to, with the end of the day your next promised treat.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:31 AM on June 15, 2020
Another thing that works for some people is bringing someone into your space with you - If your little teddy bear, or the photograph of your dog aren't inappropriate on your desk, you can get into the habit of thinking comments to those inanimate objects, by silently telling your dog, "Uh-oh, looks like Martin has just sold more widgets than we can produce by the delivery deadline..." or asking your bear, "Why did I bring a tuna sandwich? I know the bread always gets damp..." Mascots and photos are often used to make people feel like someone they care about is right there, and when you phrase your inner monologue as if it is aimed at someone else you get some of the benefits of actually having someone to talk to.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:37 AM on June 15, 2020
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:37 AM on June 15, 2020
get some pet seamonkeys for your desk
posted by Jacqueline at 8:39 AM on June 15, 2020
posted by Jacqueline at 8:39 AM on June 15, 2020
Decent shoes to walk during lunch. A yoga mat if there’s a private place to stretch. Consider asking different folks if they want to walk with you from time to time.
posted by Bella Donna at 10:15 AM on June 15, 2020
posted by Bella Donna at 10:15 AM on June 15, 2020
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posted by metahawk at 5:33 PM on June 14, 2020