Feeling lost w/Therapist
June 12, 2020 6:04 AM   Subscribe

Lately, I've been thinking about my progress w/my therapist who has missed 2x sessions with me. I'm wondering if I'm just overthinking it or is it time for a change?

I've been in various therapy for over a decade and I'm under medical care w/a Psychiatrist. My current therapy place is located nearby and I've been going for approx 5 yrs by now but lately, I feel like K (therapist) is ghosting me. Originally I went every week in-person session but due to classes, I switched to 2 weeks then 3 weeks. Now due to current events I usually do weekly phone therapy on Friday in the evening but when that time comes no one calls me.

I've spoken to a clinic representative but she brushed me off saying that it was noted she called me and I missed it twice? I've been in self-isolation for the last 16 weeks and I always go outside w/my phone charged due to how my school sometimes will email me notices. I left a message that I'd like to reschedule next week's appointment to Monday in the evening but I'm not even sure if I'll get a call today despite scheduling it already. I did tell her that I didn't get her calls and K mentioned that I had my phone off? I checked all my recent calls and there's nothing listed. Honestly, it's stressing me out as I feel anxious all the time since I have no idea if K will call or not. No one seems to acknowledge that my therapist has missed my last few sessions.

It's complicated to switch therapists as I'm on medicare and I see a psychiatrist who is a part of my treatment plan who is great as the therapy sessions are a part of it. I feel like the last few sessions in-person I get cut-off and K would tell me it would be time to re-schedule my next meeting which usually lasts 30 min but it feels very short. I've been w/my many different therapists but this is the first time I feel like I'm being short-changed as the phone calls last around 15 min each time too.

Should I look for a new therapist? Is there any advice to look for therapists overall? Am I overthinking it?
posted by chrono_rabbit to Health & Fitness (9 answers total)
Response by poster: Also, I'm not sure how to end a therapist relationship since all my previous therapists ended when they retired, moved, or no longer available.
posted by chrono_rabbit at 6:29 AM on June 12, 2020

Best answer: I think you need to look for a new therapist. This current relationship seems to no longer be working for you, and that is a perfectly valid reason to leave. If you are able to talk to them whenever your next appointment is about that, I would definitely suggest doing so. This sounds shitty and uncomfortable and you don't deserve that.
posted by Alensin at 6:32 AM on June 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

I would ask since you are waiting for a phone is there a number you can call in if five minutes psst appointment time had happened. Either way, I'd leave a voicemail at the time staying you are currently waiting for a call and didn't get one, to everybody involved, supervisors included.
posted by AlexiaSky at 7:01 AM on June 12, 2020 [5 favorites]

Phone schedules are wierd if everything else with this therapist has been good, I'd assume it is a logistical issue, and if that fails in two more weeks move on.
posted by AlexiaSky at 7:03 AM on June 12, 2020

How about sending an email ten minutes before each appointment, saying that you're waiting by your phone and looking forward to receiving the call.
posted by JimN2TAW at 7:08 AM on June 12, 2020

So it sounds like your therapist is calling you, but they're saying your phone is off? How would they know that? It sounds like maybe it's going straight to voicemail. Is it possible that they're calling you from a blocked number and you have blocked or unknown numbers blocked, thus sending it straight to voicemail?
posted by Automocar at 7:11 AM on June 12, 2020 [3 favorites]

Are you 100% sure they have the right phone number for you? Have they successfully called you in the past?
posted by Lady Li at 7:36 AM on June 12, 2020

Response by poster: I don't think it's my phone since I can get phone calls fine 2-3 weeks ago during my last session and I got a call from her yesterday. I'm do get calls from the clinic fine too and other people who have contacted me like my doctors.
posted by chrono_rabbit at 8:04 AM on June 12, 2020

Do you have a phone OS that does call screening for you automatically? Latest versions of Android do this for example. Mine does, and this kept happening to me. At some point a clerk mentioned that the call from the clinician I was trying to talk to would come from a blocked number. I was able to put together that my phone was identifying the overlay blocking the personal number the clinician was calling from as a spam number. Now I disable that functionality when I've got an appointment and turn it back on after. Consider asking the clinic if the telehealth is mediated through some kind of privacy shielding service.
posted by PMdixon at 9:02 AM on June 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

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