Awkward hair grow-out
April 8, 2020 1:14 AM Subscribe
My 6 year old boy wants to grow his hair long ("just like mama"). He is currently at that awkward stage where it is starting to be long enough to get in his eyes and over his ears but too short to pull back in any way. Can you help us with some ideas about how to keep it under control while he plays?
I know the usual answer would be barrettes and headbands, but as he pointed out "boys don't usually wear barrettes." I think he would be OK with it as a solution if we don't find anything else, but I thought I would see if you guys could come up with some more original ideas?
I tried to google images of boys with long hair, but for some reason it was much harder to find images of the awkward grow-out stage. Help with google terms so we can find photos would also be much appreciated!
In case it matters for the responses, we don't have any indication that this is other than an aesthetic preference. He doesn't seem to be looking to be a girl, or to experiment with gender roles. I've asked, and he just says he think long hair looks better.
Thanks!
I know the usual answer would be barrettes and headbands, but as he pointed out "boys don't usually wear barrettes." I think he would be OK with it as a solution if we don't find anything else, but I thought I would see if you guys could come up with some more original ideas?
I tried to google images of boys with long hair, but for some reason it was much harder to find images of the awkward grow-out stage. Help with google terms so we can find photos would also be much appreciated!
In case it matters for the responses, we don't have any indication that this is other than an aesthetic preference. He doesn't seem to be looking to be a girl, or to experiment with gender roles. I've asked, and he just says he think long hair looks better.
Thanks!
Can you get him a buff or similar for kids and wear it like a bandana to keep his hair out of his face? This was absolutely the best solution for me when I had in-between length hair.
posted by terretu at 1:25 AM on April 8, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by terretu at 1:25 AM on April 8, 2020 [7 favorites]
Best answer: How about a good ole ball cap?
posted by wile e at 1:30 AM on April 8, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by wile e at 1:30 AM on April 8, 2020 [8 favorites]
Best answer: Could he be convinced of the manliness of a soccer hair-band situation?
posted by robself at 3:02 AM on April 8, 2020 [16 favorites]
posted by robself at 3:02 AM on April 8, 2020 [16 favorites]
At our daycare many of the boys get a teeny tiny ponytail right on top of their head. The trick is getting small enough rubber bands.
posted by stormygrey at 3:10 AM on April 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by stormygrey at 3:10 AM on April 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
Yeah, like stormygrey said, a half-up situation, with the band closer to the top of the head, might be just the thing. If you google half up hair and men, you get lots of helpful pictures.
posted by umwhat at 4:06 AM on April 8, 2020
posted by umwhat at 4:06 AM on April 8, 2020
Best answer: Half up or headband for sure. Also can definitely find some cool hair clips. I mean, I have skeleton hand clips and you can get printable shrinky dink paper or felt and make your own too! Bobby pins are more invisible if you get some to match but they require more dexterity than might be doable right now. Etsy has some for sale or for inspiration.
posted by Crystalinne at 4:37 AM on April 8, 2020
posted by Crystalinne at 4:37 AM on April 8, 2020
Best answer: A bandana works like a headband and looks a lot more masculine. Cheap, easy to replace if lost, available in lots of colors, also useful in an emergency for lots of other things.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:17 AM on April 8, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:17 AM on April 8, 2020 [8 favorites]
The skater boys of my youth called their headbands “headgaskets.” Try a skate shop for something sufficiently covered in skulls/rat bones?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 5:59 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Lawn Beaver at 5:59 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
A guy in my office did a soccer headband type thing. It looked fine.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:06 AM on April 8, 2020
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:06 AM on April 8, 2020
Response by poster: Oooo these are great ideas. Keep ‘me coming!
And feel free to make what seem like totally obvious suggestions. My brain isn’t working at full capacity right now so it’s likely not obvious to me!
posted by ohio at 6:32 AM on April 8, 2020
And feel free to make what seem like totally obvious suggestions. My brain isn’t working at full capacity right now so it’s likely not obvious to me!
posted by ohio at 6:32 AM on April 8, 2020
(Also, you might be keeping this in mind already, but remember that kids are way nastier with each other about gender than adults in their same community are. There might be things that seem like a perfectly good and gender-neutral solution to you that make your kid say "No, I can't possibly do that, that's too girly" or that make him come home after a day of being teased and say "Nope, never doing that again." Please respect those decisions even if they seem silly or self-limiting — they're things he's doing to keep himself safe.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:42 AM on April 8, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:42 AM on April 8, 2020 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Bandanas, headbands and knit caps.
I used to work in construction. It's mostly male industry, and almost everyone wears bandanas if their hair is anywhere between buzz-cut or crew-cut length or long enough for a ponytail. So it doesn't code as non-masculine, just practical, in this context. (Wearing a hardhat gives you a ridiculous case of hat head otherwise.)
Headbands come in a bunch of different styles, though I've never worn one. I can't make recommendations about where to get cool ones your son might like.
Knit caps work, but they're uncomfortable when it's warm.
Baseball caps, called seed-corn caps in the Midwestern US, also work.
The basic idea is to brush your bangs out of your face, then wear some kind of band or head-covering to keep them in place.
posted by nangar at 7:17 AM on April 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
I used to work in construction. It's mostly male industry, and almost everyone wears bandanas if their hair is anywhere between buzz-cut or crew-cut length or long enough for a ponytail. So it doesn't code as non-masculine, just practical, in this context. (Wearing a hardhat gives you a ridiculous case of hat head otherwise.)
Headbands come in a bunch of different styles, though I've never worn one. I can't make recommendations about where to get cool ones your son might like.
Knit caps work, but they're uncomfortable when it's warm.
Baseball caps, called seed-corn caps in the Midwestern US, also work.
The basic idea is to brush your bangs out of your face, then wear some kind of band or head-covering to keep them in place.
posted by nangar at 7:17 AM on April 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
(1) Show him some pictures of boys wearing barrettes and headbands and dresses and makeup and ballerina skirts and fun colorful pretty shiny "girly" clothes ... expose him to celebrities who dress in all kinds of clothes, not just traditional. Not necessarily to persuade him to wear them but to correct his misapprehension about what boys do and do not wear in the real world. Your job as parent is to find and correct the misinformation he's being fed from outside.
(2) Buy him a sports headband like tennis or soccer players wear.
(3) Also buy barrettes and "girly" headbands and put them in the same drawer for him to try on sometime. IMO helping your son unlearn cultural misogyny is at least as important as keeping his hair out of his face! During quarantine, he doesn't have to deal with bullying from his friends if he wears girly things, so now might be a wonderful time to encourage him.
posted by MiraK at 7:26 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
(2) Buy him a sports headband like tennis or soccer players wear.
(3) Also buy barrettes and "girly" headbands and put them in the same drawer for him to try on sometime. IMO helping your son unlearn cultural misogyny is at least as important as keeping his hair out of his face! During quarantine, he doesn't have to deal with bullying from his friends if he wears girly things, so now might be a wonderful time to encourage him.
posted by MiraK at 7:26 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My 7-yo boy has hair nearly down to his butt at this point but during the awkward growing out phase we employed a number of teeny ponytails (off to the side, on the top like a samurai, one on either side etc...) just to gather up the bits that fell into his face, or barrettes (the metal kind that snap closed) to scoop up the bits that were getting in his eyes. I found that headbands just wouldn't stay on for him and he was too young to manage re-positioning them himself when it started to slip. When I was a little girl with long hair I cared a lot about how it looked and learning how to manage it so that I could keep it looking okay throughout the day. My little boy doesn't care about this aspect of long hair at all, so we have to default to styles that are set-it-and-forget-it and require no user input.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:49 AM on April 8, 2020
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:49 AM on April 8, 2020
Also if you want to take this to Memail, I'm happy to share any pictures that might help your son see different ways long haired boys wear their hair and that it's okay to do things he might think of as "for girls". I have given my son braids, pigtails, barrettes and all manner of styles--different depending on what we're doing (i.e., a ponytail is not compatible with a bike helmet so I often give him two little Heidi braids for bike riding). And we've been through all the phases of hair growing.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:53 AM on April 8, 2020
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:53 AM on April 8, 2020
Mod note: Folks I understand the good intentions here but please steer toward the practical "what works for kid hair" side of this rather than heading further toward the attitude-adjustment side.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:06 AM on April 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:06 AM on April 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
I've seen a lot of long-haired tween and teen boys wearing sweatbands, looking as if they're about to play soccer or tennis.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:10 AM on April 8, 2020
posted by betweenthebars at 8:10 AM on April 8, 2020
And swimming season is approaching, which adds its own level of frustration while growing out bangs. See also, riding bikes and horses, skating, water skiing, and other activities in the breeze.
Head covering options -- hats, sweatbands, ball caps. The assumption is that the hair is slicked back and will hold its shape if the headgear is knocked off or removed (required in some schools).
Buffs are good, and some of the wearing options are fun. I prefer the cheap Wal-Mart knock-offs after years of purchasing the better cotton-like seamless Buffs. The current nylon versions are poor quality and not as stretchy.
I don't think anything is going to make a hairnet or swim cap stylish, but I could be wrong.
Styling options -- man bun, braids, cornrows. Styling can be done at just the hairline or the crown. I know nothing about dreadlocks, but it's on the table.
I've used these Scunci Stretch Hair Combs before, in clear and brown. They are a subtle way of keeping bangs back. It helps to comb wet hair back and let it dry in the preferred style before adding the hair band.
I've admired Milabu's hair styling channel for years. This is a master class.
Common mistakes with bobby pins, clear hair elastics, easy hacks for short hair.
Bun styling (#1 the samurai top knot, #5 the twisted bun used at the top of head, #9 the messy bun.)
A Julianne Hough-style faux hawk.
And some days you just want to brush it all to the front and look like this. Whatever floats your boat.
posted by TrishaU at 8:15 AM on April 8, 2020
Head covering options -- hats, sweatbands, ball caps. The assumption is that the hair is slicked back and will hold its shape if the headgear is knocked off or removed (required in some schools).
Buffs are good, and some of the wearing options are fun. I prefer the cheap Wal-Mart knock-offs after years of purchasing the better cotton-like seamless Buffs. The current nylon versions are poor quality and not as stretchy.
I don't think anything is going to make a hairnet or swim cap stylish, but I could be wrong.
Styling options -- man bun, braids, cornrows. Styling can be done at just the hairline or the crown. I know nothing about dreadlocks, but it's on the table.
I've used these Scunci Stretch Hair Combs before, in clear and brown. They are a subtle way of keeping bangs back. It helps to comb wet hair back and let it dry in the preferred style before adding the hair band.
I've admired Milabu's hair styling channel for years. This is a master class.
Common mistakes with bobby pins, clear hair elastics, easy hacks for short hair.
Bun styling (#1 the samurai top knot, #5 the twisted bun used at the top of head, #9 the messy bun.)
A Julianne Hough-style faux hawk.
And some days you just want to brush it all to the front and look like this. Whatever floats your boat.
posted by TrishaU at 8:15 AM on April 8, 2020
Have you tried a side part/flop? My son has short sides longer on top and the right part and detangler helps keep it manageable.
posted by typecloud at 8:28 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by typecloud at 8:28 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
I wore a backwards baseball cap when I was at this stage of hair as a kid!
posted by Pwoink at 8:43 AM on April 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Pwoink at 8:43 AM on April 8, 2020 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks y’all! I looked through these with my son and he’s most excited about the soccer headband look, with bandanas and crazy hair clips coming in second. We really appreciate the good ideas and insights.
posted by ohio at 9:19 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by ohio at 9:19 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
wrapping damp fringe around a barrel brush and blowdrying
wrapping damp fringe around a large curler and air drying
bobby pins during drying stage to train hair away from face
spritz of hair spray
posted by furtive_jackanapes at 9:46 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
wrapping damp fringe around a large curler and air drying
bobby pins during drying stage to train hair away from face
spritz of hair spray
posted by furtive_jackanapes at 9:46 AM on April 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
With regards to pulling up into a top-knot, when I grew my hair out, I used the typical hair ties but found out that they can break a lot of the hair held in them which gave me lots of fly aways. I used cotton hair ties kind of like these and had fewer issues. They don't last as long as the ones that damage the hair, but they're cheap so it doesn't matter.
In addition of that, hats, etc, consider some gel or mousse to sweep the hair back.
posted by plinth at 7:26 AM on April 9, 2020
In addition of that, hats, etc, consider some gel or mousse to sweep the hair back.
posted by plinth at 7:26 AM on April 9, 2020
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posted by matthew.alexander at 1:17 AM on April 8, 2020