Vain-filter: I miss my original hair color!
March 18, 2020 6:29 PM Subscribe
For the last year, my hairstylist has been covering my (multiplying) grays with an all-over "Demi color" that is more of a gloss. It coats the outside of the hair follicle and make my hair shiny, and my roots aren't noticeable for about 6 weeks. The good: because it coats my hair, it's not damaging and my hair is shiny and soft. The bad: my natural hair color was a brownish-blonde with natural highlights, and this demi color is dark, almost black. Mefites with brownish/blonde hair, how have you handled covering grays?
More details:
* I'm in my late 30's, and have very noticeable grays if my hair is un-dyed - maybe 10-15% of the new hair?
* I work in a profession where I need to cover my gray hair
* I don't think the current color looks very good with my fair skin tone, and there can be a noticeable difference between the roots where the color is dark and the bottom of my hair which shows more of my natural color.
* My hairstylist is amazing at cutting hair, but her own hair is very dark brown/black and all one color, so I think she may be biased towards having my hair look like hers.
* I can afford haircuts/dye, however I really don't like to spend time on maintenance, so a solution that requires a lot of at-home styling/treatments won't be sustainable.
I would love to know how you have kept your natural hair color while covering grays. Highlights? Going blonde? Or... maybe it's not possible and I should be resigned to this new, darker, one-color hair.
More details:
* I'm in my late 30's, and have very noticeable grays if my hair is un-dyed - maybe 10-15% of the new hair?
* I work in a profession where I need to cover my gray hair
* I don't think the current color looks very good with my fair skin tone, and there can be a noticeable difference between the roots where the color is dark and the bottom of my hair which shows more of my natural color.
* My hairstylist is amazing at cutting hair, but her own hair is very dark brown/black and all one color, so I think she may be biased towards having my hair look like hers.
* I can afford haircuts/dye, however I really don't like to spend time on maintenance, so a solution that requires a lot of at-home styling/treatments won't be sustainable.
I would love to know how you have kept your natural hair color while covering grays. Highlights? Going blonde? Or... maybe it's not possible and I should be resigned to this new, darker, one-color hair.
What? No, this is wrong. Your person is not a good colorist. Not all stylists are. You need a better color person. I know someone great who works in the Mission and Oakland, if either of those are convenient for you.
My hair sounds similar to yours (but grayer at this point, alas) and this is not a problem for me. I have essentially my real color.
posted by purpleclover at 8:28 PM on March 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
My hair sounds similar to yours (but grayer at this point, alas) and this is not a problem for me. I have essentially my real color.
posted by purpleclover at 8:28 PM on March 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
I suggest you try one shade lighter -- your existing dark hair isn't going to lighten much, so your ingrowing roots won't look good if you go straight to light brown. In a few months, go to the next lightest shade. My natural color was 7, but I had to stop at level 6, because when I went down to 7, my hair sort of looked translucent. (Lighter shades are higher numbers.) YOu want demi-permanent, not semi, because it lasts longer. One very good brand of demi-permanent dye is Wella, available at Sally's Beauty Supply. (Their Ion brand is not great). An even better one is a pro product, Richesse. You can sometimes find it on Ebay. Get one of those translucent bottles with a pointy tip. Brush your hair straight back, then squirt the color on in long lines from your forehead hairline, back to the neckline, doing a line every 1/4 inch. Line by line, sort of fill in your whole head. You don't need a mirror for the back this way. Then do all along your front and side hairlines. With whatever is left, mix the gel all through your hair.
Feel free to send me a message if you'd like me to be clearer.
posted by wryly at 8:29 PM on March 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
Feel free to send me a message if you'd like me to be clearer.
posted by wryly at 8:29 PM on March 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
It sounds like we are/were in similar hair boats. Now I get blonde babylights (highlights but finer) at my crown along with a bit of balayage at the ends every other visit, which helps camouflage the grey but doesn’t make me too blonde. This is pretty low maintenance for me and I can go three to four months without really noticing my greys.
I do think you will need to find a new professional colorist (I would not do this at home!), and it might take until the second session before it’s perfect just because you are so dark now. When you make the appointment I would say something like “I’m looking for color correction closer to my natural shade and baby lights to camouflage grey”. My hair is surprisingly much more low maintenance and looks so much better now that I’m closer to my natural color! I think I look younger, too. Good luck!
posted by stellaluna at 10:06 PM on March 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I do think you will need to find a new professional colorist (I would not do this at home!), and it might take until the second session before it’s perfect just because you are so dark now. When you make the appointment I would say something like “I’m looking for color correction closer to my natural shade and baby lights to camouflage grey”. My hair is surprisingly much more low maintenance and looks so much better now that I’m closer to my natural color! I think I look younger, too. Good luck!
posted by stellaluna at 10:06 PM on March 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
Seconding wryly. My natural color is kind of a medium brown. I apply a boxed drugstore color in a light brown or dark blonde, and the grays turn into highlights.
My favorite brands are Natural Instincts by Clairol and Féria by L'Oréal (both seem to give me a nice shine).
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:15 PM on March 18, 2020
My favorite brands are Natural Instincts by Clairol and Féria by L'Oréal (both seem to give me a nice shine).
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:15 PM on March 18, 2020
Yeah, seconding that this is weird. Demi refers to the coverage, not the colour.
Have you tried just telling your stylist, "Hey this colour is too dark and I want to match my natural colour. Please show me the other shades that this brand of dye comes in"?
posted by citands at 5:50 AM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Have you tried just telling your stylist, "Hey this colour is too dark and I want to match my natural colour. Please show me the other shades that this brand of dye comes in"?
posted by citands at 5:50 AM on March 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks all, this is helpful info. I'm new to professional color treatment and it makes total sense what purpleclover said about hair cutting skill not necessarily extending to hair coloring (and vice versa).
>>Have you tried just telling your stylist, "Hey this colour is too dark and I want to match my natural colour.
A few months in to the coloring, I told her this, but she said that the darker color "lasted longer" and said my hair looks natural and great (again, my hair now looks pretty much like her hair color, so I think that's where some of this is coming from)
posted by rogerroger at 7:49 AM on March 19, 2020
>>Have you tried just telling your stylist, "Hey this colour is too dark and I want to match my natural colour.
A few months in to the coloring, I told her this, but she said that the darker color "lasted longer" and said my hair looks natural and great (again, my hair now looks pretty much like her hair color, so I think that's where some of this is coming from)
posted by rogerroger at 7:49 AM on March 19, 2020
she said that the darker color "lasted longer"
Pretty sure that's not how it works, and even if it does, is it really an advantage if a color you don't like lasts longer?
I'd look for a different colorist.
posted by Lexica at 3:54 PM on March 19, 2020
Pretty sure that's not how it works, and even if it does, is it really an advantage if a color you don't like lasts longer?
I'd look for a different colorist.
posted by Lexica at 3:54 PM on March 19, 2020
I have darker hair with a lot of gray. My gray routes show dramatically against my dark hair.
I have my roots done about every 12 weeks professionally with permanent color. Sometimes the stylist pulls the color through some strands to the end. Sometimes she does from the roots to the ends with a gloss (semi-permanent that washes out slowly).
Every 2ish weeks I use some of a box of L'Oreal applied just to the new growth.
Every year-ish I have a lighter (bleach) color painted on - "balayage" - when things get too one-dimensional. This grows out very naturally and is very on trend for my age right now - not too much like the kids but not too light like those older, lighter at the ends. I'm 49.
My expert hair colorist has been managing my hair color for about 10 years. She is really good. If it is too dark, she lightens. If the gray color is not good enough, she fixes it. If I'm going too red, she fixes it. I don't know how she fixes it, but she is worth every penny.
I spent my late 20s and early 30s doing my own coloring cheaply and I regret this looking back at old pictures.
I wouldn't mess around here. Go find someone else who is better at coloring.
posted by RoadScholar at 6:06 PM on March 19, 2020
I have my roots done about every 12 weeks professionally with permanent color. Sometimes the stylist pulls the color through some strands to the end. Sometimes she does from the roots to the ends with a gloss (semi-permanent that washes out slowly).
Every 2ish weeks I use some of a box of L'Oreal applied just to the new growth.
Every year-ish I have a lighter (bleach) color painted on - "balayage" - when things get too one-dimensional. This grows out very naturally and is very on trend for my age right now - not too much like the kids but not too light like those older, lighter at the ends. I'm 49.
My expert hair colorist has been managing my hair color for about 10 years. She is really good. If it is too dark, she lightens. If the gray color is not good enough, she fixes it. If I'm going too red, she fixes it. I don't know how she fixes it, but she is worth every penny.
I spent my late 20s and early 30s doing my own coloring cheaply and I regret this looking back at old pictures.
I wouldn't mess around here. Go find someone else who is better at coloring.
posted by RoadScholar at 6:06 PM on March 19, 2020
she said that the darker color "lasted longer"
This might theoretically be true (colour fades even while it's growing out so I guess I can see how 'dark' looks dark for longer?) but ultimately it's not the colour you want.
If you otherwise love this stylist, I would tell her "I want another colour and I am fine if this means it doesn't last as long".
If you don't otherwise love her, I would say go elsewhere. You shouldn't have to be negotiating with your stylist.
posted by citands at 6:36 AM on March 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
This might theoretically be true (colour fades even while it's growing out so I guess I can see how 'dark' looks dark for longer?) but ultimately it's not the colour you want.
If you otherwise love this stylist, I would tell her "I want another colour and I am fine if this means it doesn't last as long".
If you don't otherwise love her, I would say go elsewhere. You shouldn't have to be negotiating with your stylist.
posted by citands at 6:36 AM on March 20, 2020 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by bunderful at 7:30 PM on March 18, 2020 [2 favorites]