How do I overcome imposter syndrome and build a thriving public persona?
March 10, 2020 11:45 PM Subscribe
I've had pretty bad imposter syndrome for years, and I need to overcome it so I can give my fledgling business my best shot. An important component of developing my business is developing a public persona--one that will cause others to perceive me as an "expert" in the thing I do. I have a big mental block about this: I never feel like I know enough about something to portray myself an "expert," even when I have the most knowledge about something in a group setting. How do I go from here to blogging and posting on social media so I can establish myself as an "expert" in my industry?
The imposter syndrome I've been experiencing is tied, I think, to a larger intellectual confidence issue. Consultants tend to have a facade of intellectual certainty, and I feel really incapable of projecting that. While consultants seem to talk smoothly, using lots of jargon, on subjects about which they only have a surface level understanding, I get stuck on what I don't know. I am usually highly aware of what I don't know and don't feel comfortable acting as though I have answers or recommendations without more knowledge. Because of this, I feel that the consultant that speaks smoothly gets more votes of confidence, even though they know less and would likely deliver a lesser-quality final product than I would. I need to learn how to get those votes of confidence.
Part of the problem is that there's no clearly defined point where I would have "enough" knowledge to consider myself an expert, or to feel comfortable providing answers or recommendations. This is all in my head--and I need to stop doing this to myself. For the past decade, I've pursued markers of intelligence to be able to reach a point where I'll feel like I know "enough," and after achieving a bunch of the things I thought would make me the person who knows "enough," I'm still not there. I still don't feel like I can speak with authority or lead a client to The Answer--even if I'm the most likely to be able to of the available bunch.
To grow my business, I need to position myself as a person who knows things and has answers--and publicly, on the internet. How do I go from here to there?
PS - Separately but relatedly, presenting myself as an expert on one thing feels limiting and artificial. Say I want to pivot my business quite significantly. If I present myself as an expert in one thing, is it plausible to then present myself as an expert in another thing down the road?
The imposter syndrome I've been experiencing is tied, I think, to a larger intellectual confidence issue. Consultants tend to have a facade of intellectual certainty, and I feel really incapable of projecting that. While consultants seem to talk smoothly, using lots of jargon, on subjects about which they only have a surface level understanding, I get stuck on what I don't know. I am usually highly aware of what I don't know and don't feel comfortable acting as though I have answers or recommendations without more knowledge. Because of this, I feel that the consultant that speaks smoothly gets more votes of confidence, even though they know less and would likely deliver a lesser-quality final product than I would. I need to learn how to get those votes of confidence.
Part of the problem is that there's no clearly defined point where I would have "enough" knowledge to consider myself an expert, or to feel comfortable providing answers or recommendations. This is all in my head--and I need to stop doing this to myself. For the past decade, I've pursued markers of intelligence to be able to reach a point where I'll feel like I know "enough," and after achieving a bunch of the things I thought would make me the person who knows "enough," I'm still not there. I still don't feel like I can speak with authority or lead a client to The Answer--even if I'm the most likely to be able to of the available bunch.
To grow my business, I need to position myself as a person who knows things and has answers--and publicly, on the internet. How do I go from here to there?
PS - Separately but relatedly, presenting myself as an expert on one thing feels limiting and artificial. Say I want to pivot my business quite significantly. If I present myself as an expert in one thing, is it plausible to then present myself as an expert in another thing down the road?
I agree that more than adding knowledge, adding ‘presentation’ skills will help. There is training that helps you with speaking at business meetings, speaking in front of large groups, broadcast media interviews, blogging, etc. Try some of those?
posted by plonkee at 1:41 AM on March 11, 2020
posted by plonkee at 1:41 AM on March 11, 2020
I'm a consultant. I own a suit and shiny shoes.
Here's the thing. You know enough to know what you don't know.
This is a problem which will only ever get worse, because there are an infinite number of things to know and knowing more things just highlights a new and exciting field that you don't know about.
I'm sorry to say, you will never "know enough".
But! Your clients hired you because you know what you know.
They don't know what you don't know. Because they don't even know that there is something there not to know.
Also!
Confidently not knowing something is a good and useful skill.
If you don't know something you can say that. But if it's even remotely relevant to what you're doing then either
a) you can find out much faster and easier than they can or
b) it's domain specific to them and someone there will know and this is how you find that out.
Your job is not necessarily to know, but to know HOW to know.
So don't try to get to where you think you need to be by knowing more things. Embrace not knowing something as a sign of your expertise.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 3:45 AM on March 11, 2020 [13 favorites]
Here's the thing. You know enough to know what you don't know.
This is a problem which will only ever get worse, because there are an infinite number of things to know and knowing more things just highlights a new and exciting field that you don't know about.
I'm sorry to say, you will never "know enough".
But! Your clients hired you because you know what you know.
They don't know what you don't know. Because they don't even know that there is something there not to know.
Also!
Confidently not knowing something is a good and useful skill.
If you don't know something you can say that. But if it's even remotely relevant to what you're doing then either
a) you can find out much faster and easier than they can or
b) it's domain specific to them and someone there will know and this is how you find that out.
Your job is not necessarily to know, but to know HOW to know.
So don't try to get to where you think you need to be by knowing more things. Embrace not knowing something as a sign of your expertise.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 3:45 AM on March 11, 2020 [13 favorites]
I know this problem very well! I've mostly worked through it now and here's some of the techniques I started with:
* Talk about what you've learned rather than what you know - it feels way more valid to say "this happened and I learned X" rather than "Let me tell you all about X"
* Talk about your mistakes - again, it's way easier to stand up and talk about what you've done wrong if you're battling imposter syndrome!
* Think about the specific people you want to help - rather than focusing on being an "expert", pick a part of your industry that you really want to help. People who have never faced Problem X, people who are junior, etc. It makes it way easier to write for them! For example, one of the first pieces I wrote was "Advice for a new manager"
* Learn something to teach it - if you don't know about something, learn enough about it to do an introduction/101 talk/session about it, framing it as something you're new to. Loads of other people will be new to it too and want the basics!
The bonus of approaching things this way is that your contributions will be accessible, vulnerable, and won't come across as the egotistic "I AM AN EXPERT" thing. Good luck, you will be great!
posted by ukdanae at 3:45 AM on March 11, 2020 [6 favorites]
* Talk about what you've learned rather than what you know - it feels way more valid to say "this happened and I learned X" rather than "Let me tell you all about X"
* Talk about your mistakes - again, it's way easier to stand up and talk about what you've done wrong if you're battling imposter syndrome!
* Think about the specific people you want to help - rather than focusing on being an "expert", pick a part of your industry that you really want to help. People who have never faced Problem X, people who are junior, etc. It makes it way easier to write for them! For example, one of the first pieces I wrote was "Advice for a new manager"
* Learn something to teach it - if you don't know about something, learn enough about it to do an introduction/101 talk/session about it, framing it as something you're new to. Loads of other people will be new to it too and want the basics!
The bonus of approaching things this way is that your contributions will be accessible, vulnerable, and won't come across as the egotistic "I AM AN EXPERT" thing. Good luck, you will be great!
posted by ukdanae at 3:45 AM on March 11, 2020 [6 favorites]
Not knowing what field you're in, I'm wondering if it's necessary to really present yourself as a smooth talker with assurance about everything? Listening to scientists and medical people, to name one group-- some of them talk that way but others sound like they are thinking on their feet and prepared to take on new information. To me, that doesn't give the impression they don't know their stuff but rather the opposite.
posted by BibiRose at 3:48 AM on March 11, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by BibiRose at 3:48 AM on March 11, 2020 [1 favorite]
Can you position your integrity (refusal to spout misinformation to look good) and dedication to continuous learning as selling points and not deficiencies? Lots of people will respect someone who admits what they don't know and who seeks out more information, especially given that you are doing this from the sound of things via text (website) and not in a talk?
I don't know your area but there are lots of science-based bloggers who won't put forward anything without research confirming the validity of what they're saying, so they don't put themselves forward as experts but rather as critical thinking information processors of sorts.
I think if you are seeing clients you need to work on succinctly summarizing what you are sure of, this takes practice and can be done, explain something several times out loud and eventually you'll get a nicer sounding way of putting it and then you can turn this into phrases you use in your blog posts.
posted by lafemma at 6:21 AM on March 11, 2020 [1 favorite]
I don't know your area but there are lots of science-based bloggers who won't put forward anything without research confirming the validity of what they're saying, so they don't put themselves forward as experts but rather as critical thinking information processors of sorts.
I think if you are seeing clients you need to work on succinctly summarizing what you are sure of, this takes practice and can be done, explain something several times out loud and eventually you'll get a nicer sounding way of putting it and then you can turn this into phrases you use in your blog posts.
posted by lafemma at 6:21 AM on March 11, 2020 [1 favorite]
Here are some general points about public speaking.
1] Cultivate a Mona Lisa smile while listening or thinking. Many people grimace or frown when concentrating and this doesn't come across well. Lift the corners of your mouth enough that you feel your cheeks plump up. Follow the conversation attentively, move your eyes to the person who is speaking. Nod once or twice.
2] Breathe. Fill your lungs with oxygen and allow it to flood your body. When you are speaking, use commas and periods, bullet points and lists, as a chance to take a deep breath.
3] Speak more slowly and say less. People's hearing has been damaged by earphones and high volume music, and also some people struggle to follow a logical argument.
Don't run your words together, allow each word to have a cushion of space around it. Try to limit each sentence to one idea.
Don't skip intermediary steps that seem obvious. "Put the money in a box. Put the box in a safe place. Remember where you put the box." As lafemma stated, polish your explanations by practicing them.
Don't let your words run away from you, this is when you're most likely to get out on a limb. Keep them wanting more, give them the sense that you offer value.
4] Build other people up. Start your comments by thanking the sponsors for inviting you, and thank the audience for their interest in the topic. Refer back to people specifically and credit them, "Spokesperson made a really important point and I'd like to build on that." If you feel that one of the speakers has offered false advice, try to qualify their remarks without attacking them. "Spokesperson offered a solution for X. It's also possible that some people could be successful if they tried Y."
May fortune smile. You are using your gifts to help other people.
posted by ohshenandoah at 11:43 AM on March 11, 2020 [4 favorites]
1] Cultivate a Mona Lisa smile while listening or thinking. Many people grimace or frown when concentrating and this doesn't come across well. Lift the corners of your mouth enough that you feel your cheeks plump up. Follow the conversation attentively, move your eyes to the person who is speaking. Nod once or twice.
2] Breathe. Fill your lungs with oxygen and allow it to flood your body. When you are speaking, use commas and periods, bullet points and lists, as a chance to take a deep breath.
3] Speak more slowly and say less. People's hearing has been damaged by earphones and high volume music, and also some people struggle to follow a logical argument.
Don't run your words together, allow each word to have a cushion of space around it. Try to limit each sentence to one idea.
Don't skip intermediary steps that seem obvious. "Put the money in a box. Put the box in a safe place. Remember where you put the box." As lafemma stated, polish your explanations by practicing them.
Don't let your words run away from you, this is when you're most likely to get out on a limb. Keep them wanting more, give them the sense that you offer value.
4] Build other people up. Start your comments by thanking the sponsors for inviting you, and thank the audience for their interest in the topic. Refer back to people specifically and credit them, "Spokesperson made a really important point and I'd like to build on that." If you feel that one of the speakers has offered false advice, try to qualify their remarks without attacking them. "Spokesperson offered a solution for X. It's also possible that some people could be successful if they tried Y."
May fortune smile. You are using your gifts to help other people.
posted by ohshenandoah at 11:43 AM on March 11, 2020 [4 favorites]
« Older Scholarship and Grant Opportunities for a 57 Year... | Marijuana plus anxiety = ambulance? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by b33j at 12:17 AM on March 11, 2020