Discord servers where everybody knows your name?
February 6, 2020 11:30 AM   Subscribe

I'm looking for a Discord server that is primarily made up of adults, that is active but not off-puttingly huge, and that is open and welcoming to new members. Topics could include writing, books, podcasts, or general nerdery, but that's less important.

This is kind of a follow-up to my recent question about community. I took the responses to heart, and I've gone back to my local Unitarian Universalist, where I am showing up and pitching in and generally trying to become a part of the community. It's not working, though. Or it's not working quickly enough. I see those people for two hours a week and the rest of the time I still feel lonely and isolated.

I've realized that the last time I felt like my "I have friends" well was full was when I had a Skype group chat in the fandom I was in five years ago. We've since dispersed, and I'd like to find something like that again, but I'm having a heck of a time finding a Discord server that meets the criteria above. Either it's all 13-year-olds, or nobody has spoken on it in weeks, or it's a bunch of transphobes (oh, I should have said above that the community should be inclusive).

It's kind of a long shot, but I thought I'd ask y'all if you have any leads.

(It would be cool if MeFi had a Discord server! But I have seen no evidence of this.)
posted by missrachael to Computers & Internet (10 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
The podcast Do By Friday has a Discord server that is friendly, diverse, and well moderated (so BS isn’t tolerated).
posted by bluloo at 12:35 PM on February 6, 2020


i've found a lot of online friends through facebook groups the past five years or so since its been abandoned by people under 25. i also appreciate that everyone has to use their real name and (depending on their settings) you can tell when you have friends in common.
posted by noloveforned at 12:59 PM on February 6, 2020


I'm in a trans-friendly Discord server (but that is because it is a fandom server for a show featuring a popular trans character played by a trans actor). It wouldn't meet most of your requirements, but Discord servers like that do exist.

Maybe look for one based around an inclusive property, since you previously liked being in a fandom based server?
posted by Julnyes at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2020


MetaFilter does have a chat, and also the Crone Island Slack. Would one of those potentially meet your needs? I am not sure how active Crone Island is these days -- I haven't been on there inawhile, but it used to have pretty regular conversations, at least in the evenings in North America.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:07 PM on February 6, 2020 [2 favorites]


If you're a writer, I know Mur Lafferty (of the I Should Be Writing podcast) has a discord. It's behind a slight paywall on her patreon. I'm not a part of it - I can't justify any extra expenditures at this time - but I suspect, based on listening to her podcast for years, that it might fit your requirements.

Also, Holly Lisle (and her daughter Rebecca Galardo) have a writing podcast, Alone In A Room With Invisible People. There's an associated forum on Holly's Writing Classes with a lot of areas that you can access with a just an email signup. It's pretty open and inclusive.

Of course, either of these suggestions are sort of pointless if you're not a writer, but if you are, I'd suggest checking them out - you might find connections that help fill some of that need.
posted by stormyteal at 3:39 PM on February 6, 2020 [1 favorite]


My local Pokémon Go discord skews old and nerdy, with not too much immaturity. It’s pretty active. You’d have to like Pokémon.
posted by toodleydoodley at 5:17 PM on February 6, 2020


My bestie does Patreon for a few different artists who have exclusive Discord servers - there's one that we call his "very gay discord" and he's made some really excellent friendships there, and he also listens to a bunch of super nerdy podcasts that have Discords - there's one that I refer to as his "anarchist robot discord" that I believe is for a podcast about a leftist reading of Gundam?? that he's had a lot of invigorating non-shitty political conversations in and also shared a lot of cat pictures in. He says the ages do skew a bit young and him being in his mid thirties makes him among the oldest, but it's not like he's treated like the crypt keeper, either. I think the one dollar paywall to the Patreons make a big difference in Discord quality. So maybe look for some creators or activists you're into who have a discord as part of their Patreon perks.
posted by Mizu at 7:28 PM on February 6, 2020


I'm in a sailor moon fanfiction discord which is like the nicest friendliest fandom out there. It skews female, mostly above 30, of course sailormoon comes up alot. It's the discord for a fanfictionn/art exchange that happens once a year over 6 months. It is active year round though and open to newcomers provided you share interests.
posted by AlexiaSky at 9:01 PM on February 6, 2020


Response by poster: Thanks all! This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. Asked for access to Crone Island, and found out that one of my favorite authors (Seanan McGuire) has a Patreon and is thinking of adding a Discord to it.
posted by missrachael at 9:51 AM on February 7, 2020


I would highly recommend the Casual Conversation Discord server! The crowd is mixed between adults and younger people, but overall it's a very mature server.

It's highly inclusive and safe, and the moderation is top notch. There's an associated Subreddit and IRC as well.
posted by Coflropter at 10:21 AM on February 7, 2020 [1 favorite]


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