Why can’t I shake off the baby weight?

January 22, 2020 12:28 AM

I’m 8 months postpartum with my first, and weigh the same as I did a few days after giving birth, which is 15lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. YANMD, but my doctor isn’t of much help, and I need a plan. Relevant details under the fold.

I used to weigh about 115lbs and am now stuck at 130lbs, which is heavy for my short frame.

For some reason, I gained weight very slowly in early pregnancy but put on a bit too much in the 3rd trimester. Other than that, my pregnancy was very smooth.

I’m in my mid 30s, at an age when many of my relatives went from thin to average or overweight. My 23andme results say I have a predisposition to obesity.

I’ve never been great at exercising, but I walk about 30-40 minutes every day. Post baby, it has been hard to go to the gym, though I’m committed to trying now.

I eat reasonably healthily but I haven’t been counting calories or trying diets.

I’m still breastfeeding and my period has not returned. I don’t want to hurt my supply too much.

My thyroid, etc is normal.

Given all this: how much should I exercise at the minimum? Should I aggressively count and curtail calories? Go on a special diet? Drink more water? Any other tips? I want to feel like myself again.

I know it takes time and breastfeeding probably doesn’t help, but it’s been 8 months and no weight loss at all is a bit much.

posted by redlines to Health & Fitness (24 answers total)

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. It's probably not easy with a baby (speaking from horrible, sleep-deprived experience here), but I'd prioritize sleeping over exercise and gym.

Strict IF with a long fasting period might be a bit extreme because it can influence your hormones, and post-partum hormones are weird anyway. But I would try a "gentler" version of IF, eg. "no snacks and no eating after 7pm". Perhaps try counting calories or tracking your food, just to see if "reasonably healthy" is true or if you're not paying attention to snacking, eating late at night, a treat here and there etc.
posted by gakiko at 12:45 AM on January 22, 2020 [5 favorites]

Your baby will be a year old before long; as nursing will become less important for their nutrition and your period returns, the weight will probably melt away much more easily. Some women find that breastfeeding makes them lose weight; for others it makes it really difficult to shed a pound. I would not do any kind of restrictive diet while breastfeeding an 8 month old. Just try to make every meal/snack you eat as nutritious as possible and cut out extras that don't add significantly to your protein, calcium, or micronutrients. I'd try dieting only after breastfeeding starts to dwindle, from the frequency and amount that keeps your period off, into more of a supplement to baby's other food and your period returns. and that time is coming soon, if you can be kind to and respectful of your amazing babymaking body's natural shape for a few more months.
posted by nantucket at 1:49 AM on January 22, 2020 [16 favorites]

Oh, I lost my baby weight AFTER cutting back/stopping breastfeeding (around 18 months). Anecdotally, this is true of lots of my friends as well. My theory is that your body is keeping the weight around in case of famine and that baby still needs nutrition. If you're exercising and eating real food (no need to "diet" when breastfeeding and with new baby -- besides diets never work), you will be fine! Your body just did this amazing thing and needs some time to adjust. As for exercise, are there any parent exercise groups (let's be honest -- these are usually for mothers) near you? I met some lovely friends this way and got a bit of exercise too.
posted by caoimhe at 2:04 AM on January 22, 2020 [9 favorites]

I had a huge ten pound very hungry baby (who is now a huge, very hungry 8 year old - some things never change). I dropped a lot of weight quickly while breastfeeding. He literally sucked it out of me but I did a bit myself to encourage it.

First, that thing they tell you where you’re breastfeeding and starving and to eat all the time? I didn’t give into it. I didn’t restrict portions but I didn’t eat for two either, I ate a moderate amount of very healthy food and then I drank a ton of water.

What this means is that I nourished my body just enough to feed myself but it was still forced to feed my baby from my own fat reserves and I drank enough water so that I was hydrated enough to supply a lot of milk. (This is my vague layperson’s understanding of how I lost heaps of weight yet still managed to wow the nurse with a baby that was in the very top percentile for growth.) So lots of water, not lots of food. Babies are parasites, they’ll take what they need from you to survive.
posted by Jubey at 2:39 AM on January 22, 2020

Do not fast while breastfeeding! That will affect your supply. Agree that you should give it a little time, I have lots of friends who dropped weight after weaning. Some people just can’t lose weight while breastfeeding, especially when also sleep deprived.
posted by john_snow at 3:38 AM on January 22, 2020 [5 favorites]

I gained A LOT of weight... like 70 lbs, and it just came off quite slowly after having the babies, I lost about 2 pounds a month and it took me 3 years to lose most of it... I suspect a lack of sleep and general loss of previous fitness played a roll and eating snacks or bites of my kids food- that adds up. I’m still about 5 pounds from my previous pre baby weight point and I’m doing a couple juice detox Programmes this winter... I find they motivate me to improve my eating habits in the long term.
posted by catspajammies at 3:41 AM on January 22, 2020

Mod note: Quick note: I've deleted one comment suggesting intermittent fasting, which may not be medically sound advice for someone who is breastfeeding. Feel free to re-post with your other thoughts, but let's be careful that suggestions are appropriate for the situation. Thanks all!
posted by taz (staff) at 3:51 AM on January 22, 2020 [3 favorites]

Are you nursing at night? If your kiddo is nursing through the day and the night with no or next to no supplemental feeding they will be burning a lot of your calories, whereas if you can't do that, your body will still be craving the calories so that you can nurse at that level while not using them up in milk production.

Are you carrying the kiddo around a lot? Is he she always on the front carrier or the hip or the shoulder? Are you moving around a lot? Having a baby can result in both being stuck in the house or stuck in one room, or worse, stuck with the little one sleeping on your lap so you only get up when your need to pee is drastic. Sometimes the kid spends all his or her time in a nearby car seat or bassinette and you don't get the benefit of lugging them around at the same time as your own life has been reduced to staying within hearing range of the child's whimpers.

Get some sunlight perhaps to trigger a seasonal cycle. Lots of people put the weight on in the winter because the light and length of days triggers a hunkering down reflex and then lose it in the spring when they get into a must scurry around and check everything out reflex. Adding spring conditions and more running around, especially running around with the extra weight of the kid can make a difference.

Are you eating artificial sugars? For some people they enormously increase the appetite and they end up putting way more on then they did with plain sugar.
posted by Jane the Brown at 4:20 AM on January 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

Your body hangs onto the extra weight while you're breastfeeding — it's a security measure! Your body is keeping extra calories around in case your baby needs them. My babyweight all came off after I stopped breastfeeding, and I'm older than you and never exercised really at all. Diet culture is generally unhealthy and can mess with your metabolism, so my advice would be to trust your body, and only start worrying about this a few months after you're done feeding that little babe.
posted by yearly at 5:18 AM on January 22, 2020 [2 favorites]

Add me to the chorus of people for whom breastfeeding was just an extension of pregnancy in terms of weight. Your body's hormonal profile may well be like mine - primed to hold onto weight in case of an emergency. I couldn't shake a pound for love nor money, but it's been a gentle reduction since weaning Ms Potato at about 14 months.

You can be gentle on yourself right now in terms of weight loss. It's hard fucking work sustaining a whole extra person, and eight months is really not very long at all post partum. It probably feels it right now, but it's only just the same amount of time you gestated. You're still recovering - I remember reading somewhere you should try and get a gap of 18 months between pregnancies, because that's basically how long it takes to recover completely from the experience.

If I were you I'd focus on exercise and diet in terms of health and happiness, not weight. If getting to the gym helps with your mental health, then make time for a workout or a jog or whatever. You can improve your fitness without worrying too much about weight loss and it'll help get things moving once you do wean. Breastfeeding has a way of making you sit around doing nothing for huge chunks of time. I did small amounts of yoga when Ms P was 8 months, as I could do five or ten minutes here or there when I could fit in in, just find something on Youtube and go with that. We also have a stationary bike which has been good for much the same reason - I can get small amounts of activity in around the rest of my life. That includes sleep! Being well rested helps with maintaining a steady metabolism so it's not a waste to get sleep instead of going to the gym. I also took a lot of walks with the kids in the pram or baby carrier at that age, and my son (now 6 and a half) looooved dancing with me round the living room. Anything that gets your heart beating is going to be good.
posted by Jilder at 5:29 AM on January 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

I didn’t really lose the last 15 pounds until my kid started sleeping through the night at age 4 (he was the worst sleeper ever). There was a short dip in my weight when I started to wean off pumping when he was about 18-24 months, but that didn’t last. Sleep was the trick for me.

(And then I went on anti-depressants and gained it all back, whee! Bodies are weird.)
posted by Maarika at 5:36 AM on January 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

+1 it's impossible to lose weight while breastfeeding. I nursed my son until he was two and a half, and never dropped a pound until after I weaned him.

I also agree that getting enough sleep is important.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:24 AM on January 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

I had the same issue you are describing. I wish I could give you better news, but this extra weight may just be your new normal.

For nearly a year after giving birth, I was the same weight I was when 9 months pregnant. I also found it impossible to lose weight while breastfeeding (for various reasons my milk supply kept drying up and I had to eat fatty foods to make it come back. Literally forcing myself to eat icecream... not as much fun as it might sound.)

When kiddo was about 9 months old, a while after I had given up breastfeeding, I finally got serious about eating real food again and doing exercise. I lost 20 pounds easily and quickly, which was 10 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. But then I got stuck there. 4ish years later and despite a lot of effort, I've come to the conclusion that this is my new normal. I once got rid of that last 10 pounds, and fit my pre-pregnancy clothes... but I had to watch every thing I ate, obsessively and constantly, and give up all sugar -- so it honestly wasn't sustainable. I ritually cleared out my closet, got myself some nice new clothes that fit and didn't make me feel guilty, and eventually accepted it for what it is.

Growing a whole human being with your body just changes you in weird and unpredictable ways. I also now have allergies I never had before. A friend gained a severe dairy intolerance. It sucks I'm afraid.
posted by EllaEm at 6:42 AM on January 22, 2020 [6 favorites]

I actually found the weight came off faster while breastfeeding when I ate MORE and didn't restrict my diet at all. It seemed to trick my body into knowing we were in a time of plenty and didn't have to hold onto the extra weight.

Also, you don't mention it, but if you got an IUD after giving birth as many women do, that may be a cause of the weight retention.
posted by luckdragon at 11:02 AM on January 22, 2020

Some women drop weight while breastfeeding while others find it very difficult, if not impossible. Bodies are different and I think you're clearly in the second group of women. It may be frustrating, but wait until you've weaned baby and then refocus on losing. In general, weight loss happens in the kitchen and fitness happens in the gym. For that reason, waiting is a good idea because restricting calories or fasting while still breastfeeding could result in your body trying even harder to keep the extra weight as a reserve to safeguard the extra calories needed to make a regular supply of milk. Congrats on baby!
posted by quince at 12:26 PM on January 22, 2020

I didn't lose significant weight til my child was into the toddler age...which on my part involved a lot of chasing and hoisting a heavier kid around. I gave up most sugar, too.
posted by medeine at 12:49 PM on January 22, 2020

Short answer: Eat less.

Long answer: The food/exercise/weight subject is usually controversial, not because the science is unclear, but because it elicits an emotional response in a lot of people. So, let's begin by stating one verifiable, undisputable fact: If you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight.

It is MUCH easier to reduce calories in than to increase calories out. So, eat less. You can dive deep into that, and eat better stuff, and things that will keep you full longer, and count calories, and all sorts of things, but it's really a question of eating less.

If you want pointers, follow the Eat Food, Not Too Much, Mostly Plants idea from Michael Pollan: Yes to vegetables, meat, nuts, water. No to anything else. Nothing that comes in a can or box. No fruit juice, soft drinks, added sugar, bread, pasta, rice. Serve yourself smaller portions. Stop eating when you're no longer hungry, not when you're full. Get comforable being a leeeetle bit hungry. Drink lots of water. Lose up 2 pounds per week, no more. You'll be back at 115 in seven weeks.

The other part of the equation, increasing calorie output, is secondary. Exercise is certainly useful, and will help other areas of your life, but it won't help if you don't reduce calorie intake. There is no amount of exercise a human can perform than will overcome a bad diet.

I learned all this the hard way when I quit smoking. It took me a year to get rid of the weight I gained. Now, I can binge out during special events, holidays, or weekends, and get back to my desired weight quickly. I control it, not the other way around.

Good luck!
posted by Cobalt at 1:58 PM on January 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

My baby weight didn’t drop until I was done breastfeeding with both my kids. As soon as the hormones were back to normal, my weight went back to normal. Give it until you’re done breastfeeding to worry about it.
posted by katypickle at 4:45 PM on January 22, 2020

There are some suggestions here that I find questionable, but since the science is not clear, I'm going to hope doctors will weigh in.
My personal experience after two kids back 20-25 years ago aligns with my daughter's current experience breastfeeding right now: walking is the key, and you need to walk the double of what you are doing now. Aim for 10.000 - 12.000 steps a day. It is consistently what made the difference between my group of friends, and now hers. Neither my daughter or I made any diet adjustments, but we did eat healthy food, mostly vegetable, grains and fruits, not too much sugar or refined grains (but not nothing). We are not vegetarians, but we don't eat meat every day.
Walking is good (as compared to other forms of exercise) because your body is finding it's way back into place, specially if you put a bit much weight on during the last months of pregnancy. Walking builds up all the muscles gradually and gently, and lets the bone structure strengthen accordingly. Supplementing with yoga, pilates or swimming can be fine, if you can find the time, but my daughter doesn't and she is doing very well.

My first child was a big eater during the nursing months, and she put on a lot of weight, from being tiny to on the above medium end of the curve. My second was exactly opposite. But for me, the walking worked equally well. I also have a family history of obesity in times of hormonal change, every woman on both sides of my family including me have struggled with weight gain during puberty, pregnancy and pre-menopause. I am in the last phase now. And I've started to walk again, realizing that it has worked for me every time. And to repeat myself, healthy food habits are a basic requirement, always. Don't eat processed food, eat a balanced diet and remember sweets are a rare treat, not a daily snack.
posted by mumimor at 4:59 PM on January 22, 2020

1st 6 months of nursing, I lost a few pounds, 2nd 6 months of nursing and the weight magically vanished. My son was also 10#, hungry, gained steadily. Also, slinging a 15# baby made me get in shape. YMMV, of course.
posted by theora55 at 6:33 PM on January 22, 2020

I'm not sure "eat less" is necessarily helpful (or healthy) advice for someone who is nursing.

Similar to many others above, I was not able to fully lose my pregnancy weight until I stopped nursing. This is despite eating well and getting moderate exercise. Once my daughter weaned herself at 18 months, I dropped 20 pounds over 3-4 months with no change to my diet or activity levels. I wish I had better news, but I have heard this story repeatedly from breastfeeding moms.

For me, it was important to continue eating well and getting whatever exercise I could (after prioritizing sleep!) even when the scale was not budging, because otherwise I just felt physically awful. As a bonus, this meant the exercise habit was already entrenched by the time I was done nursing, so I had no trouble sticking with it and losing the weight.
posted by purplemonkie at 6:43 AM on January 23, 2020 [2 favorites]

I'm just listening to a very agitated professor on the radio: she says that hidden sugar is a huge problem, even brined chicken breast can have hidden sugar! And because the industry uses a different sugar than normal people (I didn't get that part entirely), it is more fattening. So she advises that one cooks from scratch and examines the produce very carefully before buying. This is definitely advice I will follow.
posted by mumimor at 2:02 AM on January 24, 2020

Came from your newer post. intermittent fasting and jogging works for me and as I mentioned has taken me about a year and a half each time. Gained 80 with the last one too which was a rather womp of a pregnancy. I like delay don't deny and for more.sciency obesity code.
posted by letahl at 9:38 PM on February 20, 2020

Response by poster: I wanted to update for anyone in a similar situation who stumbles upon this.

Around the time of my post, I started watching out for snacking, and realized that since becoming pregnant, I had cultivated the habit of eating a little bit here and there whenever I saw food. Working in an office with free food hasn’t helped!

I also began going to the gym about once or twice a week until Covid put an end to it. It wasn’t much at all — just half an hour on the elliptical — but it was more exercise than I’d had for a long time, and it may have helped kickstart my metabolism. I also started to take regular stroller walks.

Then, without putting much more effort, the weight came off. By April, I had lost 10lbs. As far as breastfeeding, my supply did start to decline a bit, but we were getting heavier on solids anyway, so it didn’t bother me much. I got my period back in April, probably because of the rapid weight loss and decrease in milk supply, and that accelerated the weight loss even more.

At this point, I’m a bit below my pre-pregnancy weight. I don’t really exercise but I take daily stroller walks. I mainly eat the same food my kid eats (for convenience more than anything), so it’s somewhat healthy, but I don’t count calories or limit portion sizes or anything. I’m still breastfeeding (though probably not making more than 8oz a day... not that it matters since kiddo is now 15 months old).

So... I don’t know what exactly worked, but I suppose the core takeaway is that my body just needed time to work itself out.
posted by redlines at 7:47 PM on August 27, 2020 [2 favorites]