How do you recover from burnout?
January 14, 2020 6:07 PM Subscribe
In these days of job precarity, I have a habit of giving 150% to my job. Not surprisingly, I burned out. Now that my last job has ended, I have the opportunity to take a real rest. But actually, I'm completely exhausted.
Since my job ended about a month ago, I sleep all the time. Most days, I sleep for 10 to 12 hours, and I'm still tired. I went to the doctor, and she ordered a battery of tests--results TBD--but she also said that there was a good chance that I'm tired because I'm tired. That makes sense, I tend to work myself to the bone.
These days, I sleep, I hang out with friends, I work on a novel through my brain fog, and I take long walks to warm myself up and get some sun. It's really the ideal life, except for my bone-deep exhaustion. I have the savings to coast for a few months, but not the money to retire forever (which would be nice!). If this happened to you, I'd love to hear any tips for getting through this--and even better, how I can not burn out the next time.
Since my job ended about a month ago, I sleep all the time. Most days, I sleep for 10 to 12 hours, and I'm still tired. I went to the doctor, and she ordered a battery of tests--results TBD--but she also said that there was a good chance that I'm tired because I'm tired. That makes sense, I tend to work myself to the bone.
These days, I sleep, I hang out with friends, I work on a novel through my brain fog, and I take long walks to warm myself up and get some sun. It's really the ideal life, except for my bone-deep exhaustion. I have the savings to coast for a few months, but not the money to retire forever (which would be nice!). If this happened to you, I'd love to hear any tips for getting through this--and even better, how I can not burn out the next time.
Go somewhere and fuckin' yell.
Scream.
Spin around and scream some more.
posted by notsnot at 6:30 PM on January 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
Scream.
Spin around and scream some more.
posted by notsnot at 6:30 PM on January 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
It took me approximately 6 whole months to recover from a very shitty abusive job, and even then I went back to temping part time for a while before moving on to full time work.
Even today years later I feel grateful often that I was lucky to have the savings built up to coast for so long, because if I had gone directly into another job it would have been detrimental to my physical and mental health.
tl;dr Don't be surprised if it takes A WHILE to regain some normalcy.
p.s. When I started my next job, my current job, I made it a point to set some very strict personal boundaries for my work life balance. I have very busy days and my job is high stress, but I'm not even close to approaching the level of burnout I had at the Bad Place because I'm setting those better boundaries.
posted by phunniemee at 6:44 PM on January 14, 2020 [16 favorites]
Even today years later I feel grateful often that I was lucky to have the savings built up to coast for so long, because if I had gone directly into another job it would have been detrimental to my physical and mental health.
tl;dr Don't be surprised if it takes A WHILE to regain some normalcy.
p.s. When I started my next job, my current job, I made it a point to set some very strict personal boundaries for my work life balance. I have very busy days and my job is high stress, but I'm not even close to approaching the level of burnout I had at the Bad Place because I'm setting those better boundaries.
posted by phunniemee at 6:44 PM on January 14, 2020 [16 favorites]
Not sure it's possible to recover from burnout entirely. I think it's cumulative, like concussion. These days I manage it with regular therapy and getting enough sleep and exercise, but I doubt I'll ever be able to work the way I did when I was younger.
(Nor do I particularly want to. Capitalism is a death cult.)
posted by rdc at 7:03 PM on January 14, 2020 [19 favorites]
(Nor do I particularly want to. Capitalism is a death cult.)
posted by rdc at 7:03 PM on January 14, 2020 [19 favorites]
Last time I burned myself out I spent four months watching Grey's anatomy and I don't feel bad at all. Eventually I got bored enough to return to productivity. My job tends to cycle like this and on some level I enjoy both modes.
posted by stray at 7:04 PM on January 14, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by stray at 7:04 PM on January 14, 2020 [5 favorites]
Honestly, let yourself sleep. Assuming things like autoimmunity and thyroid disease and sleep apnea and anemia and depression have been ruled out, you may need to just repay your sleep debt. We are really really bad at self-judging sleep deprivation, especially if it's chronic.
To your bigger question, I have survived burnout. It was a challenge. The thing that saved my career -- and probably my life -- was learning to re-engage with the emotionally intense and morally challenging aspects of my work. I essentially took a yearlong sabbatical, got a master's degree, read a lot of philosophy and literature in the process, and when I returned to the "real world," I was a hundred times better at my job. But my burnout was driven by distress rather than work-life imbalance, so your needs may differ.
On the "how not to give 150%" front, what that looks like for me is setting really clear boundaries around what it means to be at work vs be at home. I don't have work email on my phone; on vacations I set an out-of-office reply and then respect it. At work, I don't leave my email open 24/7. I check it when I first come in, at lunch, and at the end of the day (I actually plan 30-45 minutes at each of those times for email triage and answering). I did have to "train" some people -- one in particular -- not to freak out when I don't respond 5 min after she sends an email about an event 3 weeks in the future. But overall it's been a good change.
I also got in the habit of making a paper to-do list. I tried various apps without much success, then Bullet Journal but I didn't like the constant transcribing of tasks, so now I just keep a running list on my desk with literal hand-drawn checkboxes. If something has a deadline, I write it next to the checkbox for easy visual scanning. For multi-step or collaborative projects, I have a Trello board.
The nice thing about this is that it allows me to spend most of my day doing deep work instead of the soul-sucking electronic paper-pushing that passes for "work" in many offices. In my profession (medicine) it's really critical to be able to be present for the person in front of you, and I was never able to do that when my mind was buzzing with my mental To-Do list.
posted by basalganglia at 7:08 PM on January 14, 2020 [18 favorites]
To your bigger question, I have survived burnout. It was a challenge. The thing that saved my career -- and probably my life -- was learning to re-engage with the emotionally intense and morally challenging aspects of my work. I essentially took a yearlong sabbatical, got a master's degree, read a lot of philosophy and literature in the process, and when I returned to the "real world," I was a hundred times better at my job. But my burnout was driven by distress rather than work-life imbalance, so your needs may differ.
On the "how not to give 150%" front, what that looks like for me is setting really clear boundaries around what it means to be at work vs be at home. I don't have work email on my phone; on vacations I set an out-of-office reply and then respect it. At work, I don't leave my email open 24/7. I check it when I first come in, at lunch, and at the end of the day (I actually plan 30-45 minutes at each of those times for email triage and answering). I did have to "train" some people -- one in particular -- not to freak out when I don't respond 5 min after she sends an email about an event 3 weeks in the future. But overall it's been a good change.
I also got in the habit of making a paper to-do list. I tried various apps without much success, then Bullet Journal but I didn't like the constant transcribing of tasks, so now I just keep a running list on my desk with literal hand-drawn checkboxes. If something has a deadline, I write it next to the checkbox for easy visual scanning. For multi-step or collaborative projects, I have a Trello board.
The nice thing about this is that it allows me to spend most of my day doing deep work instead of the soul-sucking electronic paper-pushing that passes for "work" in many offices. In my profession (medicine) it's really critical to be able to be present for the person in front of you, and I was never able to do that when my mind was buzzing with my mental To-Do list.
posted by basalganglia at 7:08 PM on January 14, 2020 [18 favorites]
I went through an extremely stressful two-year period in my job a few years ago and then took a planned long leave. It took me about six weeks before I was able to stay awake for more hours per day than I slept, and a full three months to get past the bone-deep tiredness.
I remember describing the feeling as "trying to suck up sleep through a straw" and "not being able to sleep fast enough." It was all very disconcerting but it just took time. And sleep. Once I got past the exhaustion, I was able to take a look at my life and make some changes to prevent ending up in the same condition again.
It's a good idea to get checked out by your doctor, but if they don't find anything, you might just need to rest. It's okay to let yourself do that, and once you're recovered, you will make better decisions about what to do next.
posted by rpfields at 8:39 PM on January 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
I remember describing the feeling as "trying to suck up sleep through a straw" and "not being able to sleep fast enough." It was all very disconcerting but it just took time. And sleep. Once I got past the exhaustion, I was able to take a look at my life and make some changes to prevent ending up in the same condition again.
It's a good idea to get checked out by your doctor, but if they don't find anything, you might just need to rest. It's okay to let yourself do that, and once you're recovered, you will make better decisions about what to do next.
posted by rpfields at 8:39 PM on January 14, 2020 [2 favorites]
It took a while to burn yourself out, it will take a while to heal. As others have said, think in months and possibly years. Like any other type of wound, time is the major component for getting better -- I'm sure there are things you could do to help speed the process, but pushing yourself to perform beyond your natural pace is how you got here in the first place.
It took me about a year to "recover" from my first burnout, but as I look back at my career it's pretty clear I never returned to top form. I had lost the illusion that what I did was Important, and I never got back to believing it.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:40 PM on January 14, 2020 [4 favorites]
It took me about a year to "recover" from my first burnout, but as I look back at my career it's pretty clear I never returned to top form. I had lost the illusion that what I did was Important, and I never got back to believing it.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:40 PM on January 14, 2020 [4 favorites]
Sounds like what summer vacation was for me as a teacher for many years, because I don't know how not to work ridiculously hard and it was a ridiculously hard job. It took me about six months after I retired to be able to even face the idea of working again. Developing the habit of daily meditation & daily journaling, lots of sleep, and obsessive attention to the mundane parts of my life that I had neglected, all allowed me to consider starting again.
Right now I'm working ridiculously hard, but there's an end point and I can renegotiate what I do.
posted by Peach at 11:03 PM on January 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Right now I'm working ridiculously hard, but there's an end point and I can renegotiate what I do.
posted by Peach at 11:03 PM on January 14, 2020 [1 favorite]
Three months is what it takes for me to start to recover after burnout. Take it easy - your energy will come back.
posted by restless_nomad at 3:00 AM on January 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 3:00 AM on January 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
Seconding the advice to let yourself sleep. You are just out of the prior job, and your body is telling you that it needs some base-level animal needs met first before you can move on and do anything else.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:20 AM on January 15, 2020
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:20 AM on January 15, 2020
I'm in a burnout state myself. I've been feeling that deep exhaustion on and off for a year, spending much of my free time lying in bed reading escapist trash. I manage to drag myself to work, but it's really dragging, even though I love a lot of aspects of my job. Thankfully, I'm old enough that I'm retiring at the end of the month.
One thing that did make me feel a whole lot better for a while was a really good massage. Give it a try and if you don't know who to see ask your local friends for recommendations.
posted by mareli at 6:51 AM on January 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
One thing that did make me feel a whole lot better for a while was a really good massage. Give it a try and if you don't know who to see ask your local friends for recommendations.
posted by mareli at 6:51 AM on January 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Have you heard of adrenal fatigue? It's a (not well documented by science) thing, characterized by exhaustion, brain fog...pretty much what you would expect after prolonged grueling work or stress. Basically your adrenal system just cant keep up with your body's demands and eventually just stops working right, especially if you are suddenly in a situation where recovery is possible.
I'm still not sure what I think, but following protocols for supporting my adrenals after prolonged stress seems to work for me. It's mostly a regimen of supplements and getting plenty of rest along with gentle exercise.
Follow what your body wants. You're not going to feel better if you push yourself too hard right now.
posted by ananci at 1:48 PM on January 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
I'm still not sure what I think, but following protocols for supporting my adrenals after prolonged stress seems to work for me. It's mostly a regimen of supplements and getting plenty of rest along with gentle exercise.
Follow what your body wants. You're not going to feel better if you push yourself too hard right now.
posted by ananci at 1:48 PM on January 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
Burned out long overdue from office management in a dysfunctional environment, and personally found it mentally impossible to jump right back into the same genre. Took some part time tech courses with the intention of pivoting away, but by a fluke ended up pivoting around into a different previous line of work, but in a more specialized approach, which eventually worked out fine. (The flukes turned out kinda lucky, but based on networks and flexibility.)
posted by ovvl at 3:33 PM on January 15, 2020
posted by ovvl at 3:33 PM on January 15, 2020
What's better than taking a vacation? Talking about your problems and giving yourself room for self-care everyday. I am in sales and fundraising, a high stress role for a cause that many consider very challenging, and I am lucky to work with an organisation who allow me 45 minutes of clinical supervision each month. That doesn't seem like a lot, but to have someone who will listen confidentially and without judgement about things that cause me to lose sleep and feel fatigued is hugely beneficial. I am not there for their validation, I am there to learn about choices I could make and have room to make healthy choices.
It has allowed me room to go home each night and feel fully able to move past triggers. That means I turn off my work phone at the end of every day; I share my to-do list with my team and managers so they can see when I am busy and they have a way to add things without bothering my flow.
A listening ear alone is not a guarantee of effectiveness. Therapy is not miracle working. You may also get benefits from a support group. Finding out you are not the only person who struggles with a problem can provide the pause to reflect on whether your own work practices and self-care are actually helping you or is a hindrance to your progress.
posted by parmanparman at 11:37 PM on January 15, 2020
It has allowed me room to go home each night and feel fully able to move past triggers. That means I turn off my work phone at the end of every day; I share my to-do list with my team and managers so they can see when I am busy and they have a way to add things without bothering my flow.
A listening ear alone is not a guarantee of effectiveness. Therapy is not miracle working. You may also get benefits from a support group. Finding out you are not the only person who struggles with a problem can provide the pause to reflect on whether your own work practices and self-care are actually helping you or is a hindrance to your progress.
posted by parmanparman at 11:37 PM on January 15, 2020
One thing I've realized this year is that novelty helps me a lot with burnout. (I realized it this year because so much of our lives in Covid times lacks novelty) So yes, keep getting good sleep and other kinds of rest, but maybe also see if some new experiences help. What those new experiences are really depends on what you're interested in, but for me, going to a new place, meeting a new person, or trying a new food have all been good.
posted by lunasol at 4:13 PM on October 28, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by lunasol at 4:13 PM on October 28, 2020 [1 favorite]
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